"Life has loveliness to sell,

All beautiful and splendid things,

Blue waves whitened on a cliff,

Soaring fire that sways and sings,

And children's faces looking up,

Holding wonder like a cup."

-Sara Teasdale, "Barter"

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Ignite

Chapter#14: Ember

(:)(A)(:)

Natsu didn't push her in. Not that time or the time after that – or even the time after that. Several weeks had come and passed, most of them spent lazily fishing down by the river and occasionally picking up small missions around Magnolia. All the while Natsu had been the perfect gentleman.

Well, 'gentleman' might be too far of a stretch. He certainly didn't have any reservations about leaving her to open her own doors and belching after every meal (or letting her pay for for the food he devoured), but he didn't go about pushing her in rivers and laughing at her expense either.

Which was weird – because laughing at her expense was one of his and Happy's favorite past times.

To his credit, though, she knew she wasn't exactly acting like her old self either. Even as they laughed together atHappy's excitement over finally catching one of the dozens of shimmering trout (Lucy was convinced that he must have flown a dozen laps around them in the span of five seconds) things just weren't ... right. Beneath their smiles was a careful inhibition – the toeing of a fragile line. They were traveling over a bridge fashioned out of glass, both of them inching their way across and praying that the world didn't shatter beneath their feet. It made for more awkward moments (in the silence especially), but Lucy tried to comfort herself with the knowledge that it was all temporary.

Time heals all wounds. As the days passed she was relieved to find that talking was becoming gradually easier and Natsu had begun to walk beside her – sometimes so close that their elbows would knock together, and he would give a sheepish apology before giving her a little more space. Lucy was relieved. She knew that there was a good chance that there would be a scar left behind – that they would never be exactly as they were – but she was confident that their friendship would mend; perhaps in the end it would prove to be even stronger than before.

Still, she had to admit that she was unnerved by this strange, foreign side of Natsu.

He continued to knock at her door instead of jumping through her window. Yesterday he had actually asked permission before devouring the contents of her cabinets. Now he was forgoing the chance to go on a mission with her and the others – a mission that would no doubt involve a healthy dose of violence and sate Natsu's never ending urge for destroying things... It wasn't right.

"What do you mean you can't go?" she scoffed, staring at him incredulously. "You love these kinds of missions!"

He shrugged, readjusting his grip on his fishing pole and looking a tad nervous under her stare. The river gurgled happily as he fidgeted on the grassy knoll beside her. "I already got plans."

Happy tilted his head, his sharp eyes lifting from the intense focus on where the line of his miniature fishing pole hit the water. The amount of confusion on the feline's face was more than evident. "We do?"

Natsu rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and gave the Exceed a pointed look. "I already picked up a mission, remember?"

Understanding seemed to dawn, and Happy quickly nodded. "Oh yeah! I forgot!"

Lucy looked between the two of them suspiciously. Natsu was impulsive, but lately he had refrained from picking any missions without her approval first. "Ok... so then where are we going?" The dragon slayer's spine stiffened, and Lucy quickly caught on. "You weren't even going to invite me to come with you, were you?" she stated, fighting to keep the hurt out of her voice. She knew they weren't exactly back to normal, but for him to purposefully leave her in Magnolia was a harsh slap of reality. Perhaps things between them weren't as good as she thought.

Natsu cringed, for once seeming to understand her train of thought all too well. "It isn't like that, Luce. I swear."

She didn't believe him. She thought it was exactly like that. She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from telling him so, but she knew nothing good would come out of letting her words flow freely. Still, she knew that there was still a bite of bitterness in her tone. "Where is it then?"

"Up north a ways. It'll probably only take us a few days."

Her eyes narrowed. The vagueness of his answer wasn't lost on her. "Ok ... When are you leaving?"

He hesitated, and Lucy knew she was going to hate his answer. "Uh, tomorrow?"

Her chest tightened uncomfortably at the confession, and for a moment she gaped uselessly as the sense of betrayal seeped into her bones. When she felt the burning in the back of her eyes she hastily stood, blinking back the tears she knew were threatening to spill and began marching towards the road that would lead her home without uttering another word. Behind her she heard Natsu curse and fumble with reeling in his fishing line while Happy asked (in that clueless way he has) why they were leaving so soon.

"Luce! Luce, wait!"

Her pace didn't falter, even as she crushed some wild flowers beneath her boot as she continued to stomp towards the path a few yards away. She could hear him following her and, by the sound of it, causing even more damage to he local foliage as he scrambled to catch up to her.

"Look, I know it sounds bad –"

She scoffed, refusing to look at him as she stepped over a log. "No, it doesn't sound bad at all!" she snapped. "You're only going on mission without me, to a place you won't say, and letting me know about it the day before." She paused in her steps, her head swiveling towards him. "Were you even going to tell me? Or were you going to just let me wake up and find you missing?"

His hands fisted in his hair, a look of frustration pulling at his brow. "But I just told you!"

Mavis, he was an idiot. "Only after I asked!" A stupid, selfish, pig headed – "You know what? Forget it. I'm going home."

His hand, warm and worn from years of use, grasped her wrist. Her first instinct was to rip it away from him, but the embarrassed flush of his cheeks stopped her. She heard him mutter something under his breath, but while she could make out the sheepish tone, she couldn't quite catch the words. "What? Natsu, you have to speak up. I can't –"

He sighed, releasing her wrist to run both hands across his face as he stared up at the branches above them. Through his fingers he repeated himself, "Your birthday is in two weeks." When she remained silent (because she really didn't see how that had anything to do with anything) he grumbled under his breath. "I can't buy you anything with jewel we made together! It'd be weird."

The tension in her body eased, and she shook her head as she digested his words. "Are you serious?" The way he kicked at the ground was a clear affirmative, and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Natsu, that is so –"

Stupid. It was so stupid.

She ran a hand through her hair with a sigh. "First of all, you don't need to get me anything–"

He was quick to interrupt, eyes flashing in irritation. "I want to."

"And even if you do," she continued, giving him a warning glare, "how does that even work? The jewel you earn is yours whether we earn it together or not!"

"It's just weird," he insisted, a slight whine to his voice.

She opened her mouth to argue, but the voice of Happy – a blue blur weighed down by poles and tackle equipment appearing around the corner – interrupted her thoughts.

"You guys! You forgot all your stuff!" He huffed. "I'm not a pack animal!"

"Sorry, Happy," Natsu murmured, his voice sincere despite the fact that he had yet to so much as glance at the Exceed. His eyes were stubbornly trained on her.

She sighed, "Natsu–"

"You get me something every year. I wanna do this for you," he said firmly.

Her breath hitched in her throat and for a moment she was at a loss. She didn't understand his reasoning (at all) but she could sense his sincerity. Whether or not she thought it was stupid, it was important to him. The realization warmed whatever bitterness that was lingering in her heart. "Ok," she murmured, not knowing what else to say.

The stiffness in his shoulders eased and he cleared his throat before nodding. "Ok."

Silence followed – heavy and full of the same awkwardness she had thought they had finally moved past.

"Okaaaay..." Happy drawled. "Glad you guys figured that out, but can you please take your stuff now?"

Lucy flushed, embarrassed, but Natsu only laughed under his breath. "Sorry, Buddy!" he said, taking the poles and tackle from the overloaded feline before letting his eyes slide over to hers. "You hungry yet?"

Sometimes she really envied the way his stomach could distract him from anything and everything. She rolled her eyes at his (weak) attempt to disguise his casual reminder that it was time for lunch. "I guess I could eat." Yeah, she could eat all right – probably a whole cow. She was starving, but she'd never admit it out loud (that damn cat would no doubt have a field day).

Over their heads, Happy whined. "Will you cook my fish for me, Lucy? Please? Natsu burnt it last time!"

The dragon slayer scowled. "Oi! I said I was sorry! I just got distracted!"

Lucy shook her head, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. "Yes, Happy. I'll cook your fish for you – but only if you share!" She said, giving him a firm look when he started to complain (and only letting up when the cat grumbled his agreement). Satisfied, she turned back to Natsu and nodded towards the extra pole leaning against his shoulder. "I can carry mine."

He shrugged, adjusting the tackle box in his other hand before starting down the road. "Nah, I got it."

She quirked an eyebrow at his back, before quickening her steps to catch up to him. Again, she felt a prick of suspicion at his behavior. "Since when did you become such a gentleman?"

He frowned. "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Lucy shook her head, deciding against pursuing the conversation. She didn't want to argue anymore – not today. "Nothing, never mind."

He seemed to be on the verge of pushing the issue, but he must have thought better of it. The rest of the trip back into town was filled with Happy's idle chatter (the topic consisting mainly of how he would like his fish prepared). She listened with only mild interest, until they turned the corner and she found her path blocked.

Five – no, six – children of varying ages filled up the sidewalk. A middle aged woman stood in the throng, grasping two little hands and rattling off instructions to some of the various children to mimic the action. It was only as she chastised one of the younger children to "hold his sister's hand, already" that Lucy realized they were all siblings.

She withheld the urge to release a low whistle. "I can't even imagine having that many kids," she muttered, watching the weary mother trying to herd her five children across the street.

They made it about half way to the other side by the time Natsu – quietly and in the most un–Natsu like way ever – asked, "How many would you want?"

Startled, she stared at him. He seemed to be watching the little girl – no more than five years old – as she dragged her stuffed rabbit and held her older brother's hand. There was a wistful curve to his lips that she wasn't accustomed to seeing. Then, feeling her gaze, he turned to her, head tilted as he waited for her to answer.

Happy, from his spot on Natsu's shoulder looked at her with an excited expression. "You want kids, Lucy?"

Numbly, she nodded. It wasn't so much that it was a weird question (Mavis knows she and Levy talked about those kinds of things all the time) but it was so strange hearing it from him. Natsu had never really shown any interest in the idea of children. Sure, he always seemed to enjoy the time he spent with Asuka and (back when he was younger) Romeo, but he had never really talked about the idea of children. He was always too focused on the present to ever look into the future.

"Um, well, someday I would," she admitted sheepishly. "Not right now obviously." She looked down at her hands, fiddling with the hem of her shirt as she thought about Natsu's question. "I think I'd like two... Maybe three." She thought about all the lonely hours she spent at the Heartfilia estate, and her mouth firmed into a determined frown. "Definitely more than one." Peeking up at him from the corner of her eye she saw Natsu nod. "What about you?"

He smiled and Lucy felt like he was laughing at some secret joke that she wasn't privy too. "Same."

Happy hummed thoughtfully. "I think I want twenty!"

Lucy nearly choked. "TWENTY?!"

Natsu, apparently not envisioning the apocalyptic scenarios that she was, merely frowned. "I think you might want to lower your expectations there a bit buddy."

Happy's whiskers twitched and his tail swayed as he thought it over. "Hmm, ok! Maybe only ten then!"

The blonde rolled her eyes. Only ten. Sheesh.

Natsu gave her a secretive little grin, his eyes shining. "That sounds like a great number, Happy."

AN: Thank you to everyone who has waited patiently for this chapter – I know it has a long time coming. Those that also follow To the Flame are already aware, but my husband and I welcomed baby Max late August (after 38 hours of labor, thank you very much). Life has been busy but it has been more fulfilling than I could have ever imagined. For those of you who are wondering (and I know some of you are) I do have every intention of continuing this and my other stories... it will likely just take me longer to update. This weeks goal is sleep training, so hopefully that will free up some much needed time for me. :)

As always, a big thank you to everyone who took the time to leave a review, and an extra big special thank you to madartiste for catching my slew of mistakes this chapter (trust me there were plenty).

Hope you enjoyed!