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Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable.
-Henry Ward Beecher
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Ignite
Chapter #16: Inflame
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Lucy woke up irritable and with the aftertaste of vanilla frosting and booze coating her tongue. She couldn't be sure how much sleep she'd actually gotten – the last thing she remembered was watching the sun peeking over the horizon and thoughts of Natsu dancing behind her eyes. A quick glance at the clock proved her fears, and she groaned. Ten in the morning. She probably only got a grand total of four fitful, dream filled hours of sleep. Why the hell was she even up?
A blue paw tapped loudly against her bedroom window, causing her to jump. Happy's grinning face was pressed against the glass. "Luuuuushiiii~! Open up!"
Lucy rubbed her temple, grumbling groggily under her breath before sliding the window open with a glare. "Happy," she said darkly, "you better have one hell of a good reason for waking me up." Especially after the night she had – headache inducing epiphanies and all.
He swept in, plopping on her comforter with a sigh. "I miss your bed. It's so soft."
She could feel her eyebrow tick, but resisted the urge to pull the covers out from under him. "That's why you woke me?"
"No," he chirped, lifting his head to give her a grin. "I came to wake you! You're going to miss your train!"
She paused, searching her memories only to come up empty. "Train? What train?"
"For the mission. Duh."
Wait, what? She looked at her calendar on the wall, but the day's date showed no plans whatsoever. "We don't have a mission." She had kept today open so she could happily nurse her potential hangover in peace, she knew she did.
Happy tsked, sitting up and tilting his head. "You don't remember, do you?" When she answered him with a baffled look, he sighed dramatically. "You accepted a job last night from Mira. Natsu's waiting at the station for you now. You should probably hurry."
She blinked once, twice, before panic began to bubble up. "What?!" She jumped from her bed, all but running to her closet to pull on some clothes. Mavis, was she really that drunk? She hadn't felt that drunk! Geeze, she didn't even feel hungover so much as stressed and tired. "I don't remember any of this!" she exclaimed, catching herself in the doorway as she pulled on her shorts.
The cat hummed, seeming unconcerned. "Yeah... you were kinda drunk."
Crap. She really didn't remember any of this. She remembered cake, and Erza demolishing the piñata – she definitely remembered her conversation with Natsu and the seemingly endless hours of reflection after her head finally hit the pillow. Most of said reflection involving the repeated (and agonizingly unanswered) question of what the hell she was going to do. Pulling a simple pink tank top over her head, Lucy rushed into her bathroom and cursed at the sight of her reflection.
Shit, she looked awful.
The makeup she hadn't bothered to remove the night before was smudged and darkening the already sleep deprived and bruised skin abound her eyes. Her hair wasn't fairing much better. Roughly, she ran a brush through the tangled strands and bit back a wince. "When does the train leave?" She asked, growling when she hit a particularly nasty snag.
"Oh, about fifteen minutes."
She cursed, throwing her hair up in what was probably the messiest ponytail in her life, and grabbed her keys off the nightstand and attached them to her waist. She did a quick mental checklist, eyes darting around her room as she forced her foot into her boot.
"Oh, and you need to pack," Happy hummed thoughtfully, "Probably about a week's worth."
Her head snapped up. "What?!" What the hell did she sign up for? More importantly what was she getting paid for all this trouble? "What kind of mission is this?!" she asked, already throwing random clothes from her closet into her well worn suitcase. If Natsu wasn't waiting for her –
Her hands paused. Oh... Natsu. Dear Mavis, how was she suppose to confront him? Should she confront him? Did she even want to open up that can of worms? The simple answer would be 'no way in Hell' but it didn't quite ring true.
He wanted her too – she was sure of it. These past months with all his odd behavior, the way he seemed to keep a timid distance, all pointed to the fact that – at some point – his affection had grown from friendly to something else entirely. She wondered if he had the benefit of slowly coming to realize the change, or if it slammed into him the way it did her. Still, she suspected that she was at least fortunate enough to know that her feelings were reciprocated... even if she didn't have the first clue on how to act on them.
She had lost track of how many times she had turned the idea of 'them' around in her head. The more scenarios she imagined in which one of them confessed, the more terrified she became. Her romantic history was riddled with failure, which, you know, was fine and all. She wasn't too terribly fond of any of the guys she had gone out with, so she never really felt like it was a huge loss when the date ended on a stale note. But Natsu was different. She couldn't mess this one up. And, as she came to the unfortunate realization, she couldn't just continue to ignore the whole thing either.
She knew Natsu well enough to understand that the heat in his eyes was more than just attraction. He wanted to have her. To hold, to keep. How could she possibly mistake it for anything less once she recognized that she felt the same way? The prospect of him under her hands, in her bed, thrilled her in ways that made her body flush in an odd mixture of embarrassment and excitement, but it was more than that. She wanted to know what it would feel like to wake up next to him – not because he and Happy snuck into her bed, but because she invited him there. Because he belonged there. She wanted to see their clothes hanging together in the closet, see two toothbrushes by the sink. Lucy wanted more than just the feel his skin against her own, she wanted him. All of him. Preferably forever.
Because he made her happier than anyone else could, and things were just better – brighter – when they were together. Without him... Well, his disappearing act after that stint with the dream mage made it quite clear what life without him could look like. Lucy didn't want to go through that again – not ever. Especially when she knew, she just knew, they had the potential for so much more. Being afraid of her feelings – ignoring them – wasn't an option any more. Natsu needed to know, she wanted him to know, she just was so confused on how to tell him. If she should tell him, even. Maybe he wanted to be the one to confess first? Was that even a big deal to him? She knew plenty of women who swore up and down that it was the man's job to make the first move, but she wasn't sure entirely sure the sentiment applied to her dragon slayer. Maybe she could somehow sneakily ask him?
Uhg.
Lucy shook her head and forcefully pulled herself from her thoughts before tossing a handful of underwear into the bag. Later. She would have to figure it out later, preferably when her head wasn't still swimming in the after effects of alcohol and dizzy from lack of sleep.
She zipped up the bag with a small prayer to the fashion gods that she (by some miracle) packed what she needed to get through a week of Mavis-only-knows-what. A quick glance at the clock confirmed the sinking feeling in her stomach was for a good reason. She was going to have to run to the station if she was going to have any chance of making it in time.
Looking over at Happy, she plastered on her sweetest smile. "Soooo, Happy. Any chance I can hitch a ride?" she asked hopefully.
The feline's whiskers twitched, as if he was suppressing a laugh. "With that baggage? No way! You're heavy enough as it is!"
If she had time for it she would ring him by the neck. "Well thanks for nothing, you stupid cat!" she growled, heaving her bag through the pile of clothes and boots overflowing out of her walk in closet.
"You're welcome!" he chirped, dashing out the window before she could throw a heel at him. "See you later!"
Lucy slammed the window shut behind him, turning the lock with more force than needed (and almost regretting it when the device groaned in protest). After checking to make sure she did not in fact break her window, she dragged her suitcase out of her apartment – pausing only to lock the door behind her – before making a mad dash to the station.
By the time she saw Natsu leaning against the outside of station's brick ticket booth, she was gasping for breath and cursing herself for packing so much.
Natsu blinked down at her. "You look like crap."
"I – ran here," she puffed, catching her breath and willing the cramp in her side to abate. Man was not designed to run with luggage. Seeing the empty tracks she breathed a sigh of relief. "The train isn't here yet?"
He tilted his head, his brows drawn together as if he was trying to solve a puzzle. "It's not scheduled to arrive for another half hour," he said distractedly. "Did you not sleep last night?"
Her breath (ragged as it was) hitched, her eyes meeting his fully for the first time since she arrived. Oh, Mavis. Did he know that she spent most of last night thinking about him? Did he realize that she had agonized for hours on how exactly she should proceed now that she recognized his feelings for her – and admitted her feelings for him? Mouth dry, her tongue clicked uselessly against the roof of her mouth as she struggled to formulate a coherent response. Dismally, she realized she didn't even know what she wanted to say, let alone how to say it. Not knowing what else to do, she played dumb. "What?"
He gestured towards her face. "You got raccoon eyes. Like you stayed up all night, or something."
If it wasn't for the concern she saw in his expression she might just smack him. Raccoon eyes, psh. Like it wasn't all his fault anyway. "I had trouble sleeping," she grumbled, torn between embarrassment and irritation. She was way too tired for this. She didn't usually sleep on the train, but this time she just mi–
Wait.
"You said the train isn't going to be here for another thirty minutes?"
Natsu shrugged, still eyeing her carefully. "That's what the schedule says."
She plopped on to the bench, letting the handle to her luggage drop unceremoniously. "I'm going to kill him," she said, feeling herself sink bonelessly onto the wooden slats. "I'm going to skin him alive, chop him up into little pieces and feed him to the fish."
"Who?" asked Natsu, suddenly wary.
She buried her face in her hands, fingertips threading through her hair, and cringed at how greasy the strands were. She should have grabbed a hat. "That stupid cat!" she bit out, her hang over only fueling her temper. "I came unshowered, with my teeth unbrushed, and totally under packed because he told me I only had fifteen minutes! If this was suppose to be a joke, it isn't funny!" She pulled her knees up to her chest, pouting. "And to top it off, I don't even know what the mission is, so I probably packed the wrong stuff anyway!"
The dragon slayer shook his head, lost. "Wait – what? Happy said you were the one that took it."
She groaned into her knees. "I know." When, upon looking up, she was greeted with his baffled expression she sighed. "Apparently I accepted it from Mira sometime last night."
"... Apparently?"
She refused to look at him, muttering grumpily under her breath. "Well, I don't really remember... Happy said I was drunk when it happened." Then again, Happy also told her the train was leaving half a freaking hour earlier than it was arriving.
The dragon slayer's nose wrinkled, seeming skeptical. "You weren't that drunk. I mean, you weren't mewing or anything."
She groaned at the unpleasant reminder of that mortifying night. "I'm going to just pretend I don't know what you're talking about," she grumbled. Natsu snorted, though a quick glance proved that it was in amusement, and Lucy quickly changed the subject. "Where is the fleabag? He should have beat me here."
"Uh, yeah, about that." He rubbed the back of his neck, his gaze drifting suspiciously to the long line of track. "It's just the two of us this time. Apparently he's going with Wendy and Charle on a few missions around here."
Lucy hesitated. There was something in Natsu's tone – an almost nervous edge – that had the (hungover and sleep deprived) butterflies stirring in the pit of her stomach. No Happy? She couldn't remember a time when they ever went on a mission without the Exceed. Dumbly, she nodded and tried to tramp down the racing of her heart. "Oh."
His green eyes flitted to hers, his expression so unreadable it only served to make her more apprehensive. "Is that ok?"
"Yeah, yes. Of course. Why wouldn't it be?" She had only thought about him all night; had only dreamed about how his hands would feel running along the skin of her inner thigh and how hot his mouth would feel at her throat. Being alone with him was only the single most awkward, terrifying wrench life could throw her at the moment. Something in the way that he looked at her – the way his hands kept scratching at the nape of his neck as if he just had to do something with them – made her think that she wasn't the only one that was scared of the possibilities that came with being alone. "So," she blurted, desperate to derail the onslaught of perverted (and potentially romantic) daydreams that were prodding her imagination. "Do you, uh, know where and what we're doing?"
He cleared his throat, but Lucy couldn't help but notice his voice was tighter than usual. "Uh, yeah." He fumbled in his pant pocket and pulled out a wrinkled envelope before offering it to her. "Mira came over this morning and dropped it off."
She took the envelope carefully, a frown puckering her brow as a feeling of suspicion swept over her. If Mira had told her about the mission last night, how did she know to give Natsu the information this morning? If Natsu didn't think she was drunk last night, then Mira surely wouldn't have. Wouldn't she have just expected her to remember? Or, more so, wouldn't she just have handed her the job posting? Pulling out the note she scanned the first few lines and felt her stomach drop.
Hargeon Town.
They were going to the place where they first met, to pick up some conveniently vague items from a vender and deliver them to some of the surrounding cities. Suddenly the reason why she didn't remember accepting the mission, and Happy's sudden absence, made complete sense.
This whole "mission" was a set up from the start.
Frantic, her eyes lifted to see if her partner had figured it out as well, but he was looking at the track again before s
winging his bag over his shoulder. "Train's coming," he stated, eyes meeting hers casually. "Hargeon Town, right?"
Of course he hadn't. She wasn't quite sure yet if his ignorance was a blessing or a curse. "Y–yeah. Hargeon Town." She glanced at the long stretch of empty rail, confused but happy to have something else to focus on. After a few long seconds of squinting, she saw a glint of metal in the distance. "I always forget how good your vision is," she muttered, her admiration weighed down by the persistent nagging of her anxious heart. She could only hope that his sharp hearing didn't pick up on it.
She had a feeling it wouldn't be slowing down anytime soon.
AN: I know, I know, it's been forever. I'm still alive, and I'm still planning on seeing this and To The Flame finished (hopefully the next chapters won't take as long as these last ones).
Thank you as always to everyone who reviewed - whenever I needed inspiration to keep chipping away at this chapter I always looked back at your kind words. And thanks to the lovely madartiste for sticking with me and correcting my many mistakes!