AN: Taking a break from the sappy for a more humorous chapter! Hope it makes you smile!
Disclaimer: I'm tempted to stop doing these. We all know the drill.
Rex considered himself a fairly smart man and prided himself on knowing what went on in the 501st legion. So he was most definitely confused when Ahsoka stalked past him, soaking wet, fists clenched, and muttered curses coming out of her mouth in mando'a, togruti, and basic. He cringed at some of them and swore to find out which of his brothers had taught her some of those curses. He figured it was best to let her cool off and dry off before trying to talk to her. Five minutes later and he ran into three shinies, Hodge, Tuner, and Becket, Hodge and Tuner supporting Becket to the medbay. Becket was holding his face and blood was leaking out from between his fingers. When the shinnies saw him, various stages of fear flirted across their faces; Rex didn't even say a word but turned on his heel and went to find his girlfriend.
Ahsoka had just finished drying off and changing into clean clothes when she sensed Rex outside her chamber doors. With a wave of her hand the door slid open presenting Rex, his hand raised to knock, helmet tucked under his arm.
"Come in Rexster." Ahsoka sighed
"I just passed Hodge, Tuner, and Becket in the hall and Becket seems to have blood spouting from his face. Judging by the fearful expressions on their faces and the very colorful and creative curses I heard you mutter, something happened. Care to fill me in, cause something tells me it's going to be a good story." Rex's brow and lips quirked upwards
"Becket's bleeding from his face because he's a di'kutla utreekov." Ahsoka seethed, her fangs bared.
"I didn't know being a stupid idiot caused people to start bleeding from the face." Rex grinned
"It's a new discovery." Ahsoka crossed her arms over her chest.
"I'll keep that in mind incase I run across any more stupid idiots." Rex sat on the edge of Ahsoka's bunk "Although I do want to hear how you made this discovery."
"It's been an ongoing discovery all this week." Ahsoka sat down next to him. "It started in the mess three days ago. I went to go eat with Jesse and Kix and some stupid shinie "slipped" and crashed into me, knocking our food everywhere and all over me. And to top it all off the shinie took off running out of the mess hall."
"You sure it wasn't just an accident and he ran because he was scared?" Rex questioned
"I would have thought that too if I hadn't heard him yelling 'let's get out of here, stage 1 is complete'." Ahsoka shot back
"So what was stage two?" Rex pressed.
"Same day as the mess hall incident, after I cleaned up, I went to the gym to blow off steam, and not too long after I started working out, the gym had cleared out. When I finally noticed, I thought it was strange, and I figured something was going on. And then the door shut and locked and all the lights went out. It took me 20 minutes to override the door's system."
Rex sighed and figured he knew what was going on. Someone had told the shinies that in order to get their stripes they had to come up with an elaborate prank system for one of their CO's. Rex remembers when the shinies tried to prank the general and no one would go near him for a solid week, and the offending shinies longer than a month. Pranking the admiral and the navigational staff ended with the offenders enjoying a stay in the brig and three months of scrubbing refreshers. Someone had the bright idea to take a break from pranking CO's and decided pranking the mechanics would go better; until all of the doors were sealed shut and it took three hours to talk down the pissed off mechs. Rex wasn't too entirely surprised when he was the next victim of the prank war, and he made sure the ones responsible would remember not to cross their captain again. Things had been quiet for a while, with the end of the war there were fewer shinies joining the 501st ranks, and Rex had hoped the troops had learned their lesson and also liked and feared their little sister enough to leave her alone. Turns out, there were more di'kutla utreekov on board the Resolute than he realized. He tuned back into Ahsoka's retelling of her week.
"The second day someone decided to leave a bunch of spider eggs in my shower, so when I went to go shower off the goo that had been dumped on me as I was leaving the hangar bay, there were tiny little spiders all over my bathroom and I had to clean them up before I could rinse the goo off." Rex could hear Ahsoka's back teeth grinding as the pent up frustration from the last few days started to show.
"Back up a second, you're rambling. You said you got hit by goo in the hangar bay? And then found spiders in the refresher shower?" Rex laid a hand on Ahsoka's knee. "But first, take a breath, you grind your teeth anymore and they'll break."
After a moment Ahsoka restarted.
"I figured the best place for me to avoid whoever was pranking me was to go work on my fighter in the hangar, because the mechs won't take kindly to accidentally being pranked. But I couldn't work very long because I was missing a bunch of tools and they kept being switched out on me. So I left; on my out, as I walked through the doors, a pot of something green and sticky fell down on top of me. I had to take my boots off just to walk without having my shoes stick. When I got to my bathroom to rinse off, I noticed a pile of something in the corner of my shower; that's also when I noticed that there were tiny little insects crawling all over my shower. So before I could rinse off, I had to rinse out my shower." Ahsoka pointed to a pile of soiled clothes in the corner. "There's the clothes I've gone through in the last three days. That's three times the normal amount I go through."
Again Rex felt he should probably diffuse the situation a little. "So today you finally snapped."
"Something like that. More like I caught them trying to prank me again and they discovered how being a stupid idiot causes spontaneous face bleeding." Ahsoka shrugged her shoulders. "My fist was just a catalyst."
Kix came to find Rex a few hours later and to see if he knew what had happened to Becket and the shinies were unusually tight lipped. Rex only shrugged and suggested the medic let the others know that their commander could use a little space. Oh and Kix, let the shinies know pranking is the main cause of spontaneous facial bleeding. Kix clued in pretty quickly and promised to pass the word along; after delivering the captain's message to the regulars in the mess hall, Kix returned to the med bay to finish up his reports. On Becket's report, in the notes section, Kix noted that the bleeding seemed to have been caused by stupidity in the form of pranking an officer and suggested that future attempts at pranking CO's be forbidden as they were detrimental to the pranker's health. When the report reached the Admiral's desk that evening, he only sighed and hoped this would be the end of the pranking war; he also admired the handiwork that landed the shinie in the med bay, someone had to have been pretty pissed off, and for once it wasn't him.
The three shinies, Becket, Tuner, and Hodge tried to keep a half-ship's distance between them and their commander for a month. And whenever they passed her in the halls, Ahsoka would smile so wide her fangs would show and the soldiers would scurry on, fear radiating off of them.
AN: Hope you guys like it! Sorry it's a little shorter than usual, I've been busy trying to pack for our family trip! Please don't forget to R&R!
Misselimcb: Glad you are enjoying the stories! I love writing them and am glad other people are enjoying them as much as I am! Thanks for the review!
di'kutla utreekov: Stupid Idiot