THE DAY BEFORE THE WEDDING

Elizabeth heard Jack making breakfast so she wandered downstairs in her Angel tank top and pink and gray shorts to match.

When she got to the bottom of the stairs, she stopped and watched him. He was in his boxers and the pink ruffled apron. It had been awhile since he'd made breakfast in that particular outfit.

She walked up behind him and slipped her hands under the apron, running her fingertips over his stomach muscles. "Morning, my sexy cowboy."

"Mornin', ma'am," he answered in a southern drawl. "How are you and that youngin' of mine doin'?"

She giggled and walked around to the coffee pot. The lovely aroma was calling her name. "Perfect."

"Agreed. Talk about sexy. Babe, you in those pajamas…"

She turned and sipped her coffee, blushing at his roaming eyes. "You like these old things?" she asked, knowing perfectly well that he loved them.

"Uh yeah. Ever since you wore them on our wedding night…" They fit perfectly, once skimming along her trim waist, her shorts and tank now revealed the life growing inside. He turned off the bacon and gently took her coffee cup, setting it on the counter. Then he stepped as close as he could, his lips gracing her cheek and then her jaw. "You are so beautiful." His fingers slipped under the edge of her tank, gently touching her tummy.

A moment later, she pried herself away from him. "Where are you going?"

She snatched a piece of bacon and her coffee cup and took a bite. "I need to get ready to go. I'm meeting your mom at her apartment and then we are getting our nails done." She kissed his cheek and smiled. "See you later, babe."

He watched her swing her hips as she walked up the stairs and had to fight to stay where he was and not follow her.

"Jack?"

"Mom?"

She wandered into the kitchen and stopped, a smile on her face at his outfit. "Uh, I probably should have called first. Where's Elizabeth?"

"Upstairs getting ready to come meet you."

"Yeah. I figured I'd come get her."

"I'll uh…let her know you're here. Can you turn as I leave?" he asked, making a twirling motion with his finger.

She laughed and turned. "Not something I've never seen before, son."

"Ma, I'm not two years old anymore and to agree with your earlier statement, you probably should have called first."

"Duly noted." She turned after she heard him climb the stairs.

Jack walked in the bedroom and locked the door behind him and then sat on the bed.

Elizabeth walked out of the bathroom in a new maternity top she purchased.

"Jack?"

"Mom's downstairs."

"Oh, ok. I thought I was meeting her at her place." Then she looked at him. "She saw your apron?" She giggled.

"Uh yeah. First Julie finds us on the couch and then Mom. We need to change the locks, I think."

"Jack, it wasn't like you were completely naked. Well, when Julie showed up we…well, anyway."

"Anyway, it's our house and we shouldn't have to worry about other people barging in on us. If I want to be in my underwear and an apron, I should be able to, don't you think?"

"Definitely." She stood in front of him, running her hands through the hair at his temple. "I love you."

"I love you too." She bent down and kissed his perfect lips. "How long will you be gone?"

"Until lunch. Don't forget, the rehearsal is at five."

"Yeah."

"Try to have a good day, ok, cowboy?"

"It would be better if you were here with me."

"You could come with us. Get your nails painted to match your apron," she said with a smirk. He threw a pillow at her as she ran out the door, laughing.

….

Mike packed up his bedroom, placing the rest of Renee's clothes in a box to donate to Goodwill. Why he chose to do it on the anniversary of her death, he wasn't sure, but here he was.

He placed her wedding band in its box and packed that in a separate box, one that included their wedding album, the letters they had written to each other when they knew she wasn't going to survive her cancer battle, and a few other things.

Then he did something else that he didn't have a reason for. He sat down on the floor to read them. First he read hers after taking a deep breath.

MICHAEL, MY LOVE,

I don't know how to say goodbye to you, but this was our agreement so here it goes.

From the day we met five years ago in the library, I've considered myself the luckiest woman on this earth.

You are a kind, gentle soul who always treated me with the utmost respect. You supported me and comforted me when I needed it. You loved me so deeply that sometimes it was overwhelming. That being said, I have loved you more than I ever thought possible too.

I saw your heart break when we lost our baby and it broke mine too, but you stuck by me. You held my hand when the doctor told us I wouldn't survive my cancer and I'm grateful for that hand.

We've laughed and cried and mourned together. My only regret in our short life together is that now I'm leaving you alone.

My next words are going to perhaps shock you and make you angry at first but please remember that I only tell you because I love you with all of my heart.

I want you to find someone to love, Michael. I don't want you to be alone. I want you to find happiness and have the family that we didn't get to have.

Mike put down the letter and cried hard, cursing himself for reliving the past. He shoved the letter back in its envelope and buried it in the box under the wedding album.

His phone rang. He picked it up and answered it. "Hey, Jack."

"Hey, bro. How are you doing?" Jack knew what day it was.

"Oh, I've been better." He wiped his cheeks and sighed.

"Do you want some company?"

"I could use some help packing, actually."

"I'll be there in 30."

"Thanks, Jack."

….

Jack arrived at Mike's house ready to pack but also ready to listen. He could see his friend struggling to move forward and allow himself to fully embrace a new relationship. It wasn't that he presumed to understand what Mike was going through or that he thought he should be the one to decide when it was the right time for Mike to say goodbye to Renee. He just felt for him and he could see that he was falling in love with Julie.

Jack knocked and peeked his head in the door. "Mike?"

"Yeah." Mike walked in and set a box down that was labeled Goodwill. "Hey, would you mind going with me to donate these things?"

"Sure. Do you want to do it now?"

"Honestly, I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure I need to or I'll never move forward."

Jack walked over to Mike and put his hand on his shoulder. "This is a big step to tackle today."

Mike nodded, feeling his eyes burning. "Let's go."

Jack dropped his hand and picked up a box and put it in the back of his truck. After a few more trips, he and Mike left to drive to Billings.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for being here today."

"Of course, unfortunately I can't stay all day. I have to be home by three. The rehearsal is tonight."

"I understand." After a few more minutes of silence, he spoke again. "I was packing up Renee's things and found the letters."

"The ones you wrote just before…?"

"Yes. I made the mistake of reading hers."

"Maybe it wasn't a mistake."

"Why?"

"If your intent was to say goodbye today, I think it was important to remember her and how much she loved you."

"She wrote that she wanted me to find love again. She wanted me to have the family that she and I couldn't have."

"Bro, that must have been so hard to read."

"Yeah." He broke apart again, grateful Jack was driving. "God, I loved her."

"You probably always will to some extent."

"No doubt."

Jack could not imagine losing Elizabeth and their baby. He didn't believe he could survive it. He had so much respect for Mike.

….

"Thank you for coming with me, Elizabeth," Charlotte told her as they drove home.

"Thank you, Mom. I love getting my nails done and you deserve to be pampered for your wedding." Elizabeth noticed her getting quieter as the day progressed. "You doing ok?"

"Sure," she said with a barely convincing smile.

"I'm a good listener."

"Yes, you are." She sighed and then looked at her daughter-in-law. "I guess, even though it's been eleven years, I still think about Tom and if he would be ok with all this."

"You know what I think?"

"What's that?"

"I think if he was even half as wonderful as you and Jack have described him, he would absolutely want you to be happy."

"With his best friend?"

"I think Bill is wonderful, Mom. Don't you?"

"Of course."

"And he loves you and you feel the same?"

"Yes."

"Then I don't see why you should feel guilty about anything. I bet he would feel relief knowing that even though you are a strong, independent woman, you will be in good hands."

"Thank you, sweetie."

"Oh!"

"What? Are you ok?"

"Yeah. I think I felt the baby move."

"You did?"

"It was a tiny little flutter. I think that's what it was." She touched the Bluetooth icon on the dash and after the tone, she said, "Call Jack."

"Hey, babe. You almost home?" he asked. "I'm on my way back from Mike's house.

"Yeah. I wanted to tell you something."

"That you want me to cook breakfast in my skiv…"

"Your mom's in the car, babe. She can hear everything you say." Elizabeth and Charlotte laughed and Jack groaned.

"Hey, son."

"Mom."

"Uh, Jack, I wanted to tell you that I think I felt the baby move."

"You did?! Are you serious? I missed it. I can't believe I missed it."

"Its ok, babe. You won't be able to feel it for a few more weeks. It's still too little."

"Oh, well, I still wish I was there."

"Me too. How's Mike?"

"He's struggling but he's moving forward."

"I'm glad he has you, Jack. You are such a good friend to him."

"Thanks, hon."

"I'll be home in about twenty. Love you."

"Love you too."

…..

Elizabeth walked in the house. "Jack?"

"Upstairs."

She found him in the nursery. Right now it was a blank canvas but it would soon be much more. "What are you up to, cowboy?"

"Thinking."

He was sitting in the middle of the floor and staring at the walls. She sat next to him and stared too. "About what?"

"These walls. I was thinking three of the walls gray and one of the walls green? To match the blanket?"

"How about all of the walls green but with gray trim and a gray rug?"

"Or we could do stripes in alternating gray and green."

"I guess we still have time," she mentioned. He reached over and touched her tummy.

"Jack, you'll feel it move soon."

"I know. I just don't want to miss anything." He kissed her lips and sighed. "I don't want to take anything for granted, Elizabeth. I want to enjoy every single thing because life can change quickly."

She knew why he was saying the words. His mind was on Mike's situation and how much he lost. "Babe, I'm not going anywhere."

"You can't make that promise. None of us can." He stood and helped her up.

"I suppose not, but you also can't let yourself worry so much that you aren't happy."

"I am happy."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, just wanting to keep the people I love as close as possible."

She took his hand and led him across the hall. "What are you up to, beautiful?"

"Keeping you as close as possible."