Pleasant Dreams
Dean opened his eyes. He didn't know what he had expected. Maybe Cas' worst nightmares or heaven, but none of those things were what he was looking at now. He was outside their house. The Minnesota air was pleasant and crisp. Autumn decorated the scenery, splashing reds and yellows over the trees surrounding their home. Bobby was in the garden with a full grown Gabe and Balthy, picking the last of the blueberries before the last could fall due to the weather. The two angels were teasing the old hunter and munching on handfuls of blueberries, mouths stained blue. Sam, Charlie, and Kevin were under a tree, books in hand. 'Nerds,' Dean thought with a small smile and he skimmed over the rest of the place. He was awestruck, but really it shouldn't have been a surprise. The dream world made so much more sense than the land of nightmares Dean had been expecting. Cas' mind had locked him up to protect him from those terrible things. Why would it force him to relive them when he could be at peace like he was now?
The Winchester looked towards the lake then, eyes falling on a trench coated figure sitting on the dock resting over the blue water. Next to him sat a happily napping Custos. Cas was full grown like his brothers. His wings were even gone from view. Slowly, Dean approached Castiel, trying to hold down his emotions. The last thing he wanted was to frighten his angel. He stepped on a squeaky board and Cas turned his head and smiled up at the hunter.
"Hello, Dean," Cas said softly. Dean closed his eyes. Oh, how he missed those two simple words. Cas turned from the hunter, patting the empty space next to him. Dean opened his eyes and sat next to Cas, staring out into the lake. Deja vu struck him then. He's spent loads of time with Cas on a dock in the past. He'd sat there with Cas during the warm afternoons, he had fished there, and he had dreamed about sitting there with a fishing pole in hand and Cas at his side.
"Cas, where do you think you are right now?" Dean asked, gently, not certain on how to do this. Cas frowned at Dean's question, tilting his head. Dean missed that too. He missed everything about the angel.
"I'm at our home, Dean," Cas stated, frowning at the hunter in confusion. "The spell's gone, but my brothers and I enjoy it here." Cas looked Dean over a moment before meeting Dean's gaze again. "Are you alright, Dean?" Silence cloaked over them like a dark cloud and Dean felt his stomach turn. Fuck it.
"Cas, this isn't our home. This is a dream. You've been in a coma for…for weeks," Dean blurted out. Cas' eyes widened a bit and he pushed away from Dean.
"You're lying," Cas muttered. Dean shook his head.
"If I'm lying then why did Custos disappear when you wanted to make room for me on the dock?" Cas' eyes widened and he glanced around himself. Custos was nowhere to be seen. Cas stared up at Dean then, watching as the hunter gently pressed a hand on Cas' shoulder and squeezed. "I'm sorry, Cas. I really am." The world around the two started to shatter then and the once blue sky and green grass turned black. Cas looked around himself in horror.
"No, no, no," Cas muttered, hands gripping at his head as he folded in on himself. Dean swallowed as he watched everything that had once been Cas' perfect dream fall apart and turn into his worst nightmare. Dean leaned in closer to the angel and held him close, watching as several figures suddenly oozed together. Dean recognized them all.
"Cas' why do you torture yourself with this?" Dean asked, hugging the angel close and forcing Cas' face into his shoulder so the angel couldn't see what was slowly coming together around them. Cas didn't answer. Dean glanced around at the figures now coming into view around them, answering his own question. Sam, Bobby, Charlie, Kevin, Gabriel, Balthazar, and Dean himself were standing around them. Each bore a wound they had received while helping, fighting, or protecting Cas. Cuts, bruises, broken bones…it was endless. "The things you did in the past were never the things that really killed you were they, Cas?" Cas clutched tighter to Dean's shirt in answer. Dean stroked a hand over the center of Cas' back between the shoulder blades where Cas' wings normally would stick out of. "Watching us get hurt was." Cas whimpered.
"It's my fault –"
"How many times have you bled for us?" Dean countered, forcing Cas to look up into his eyes. Cas shivered at the sight of the figures around them, but Dean forced Cas to keep his eyes on the hunter's green ones. Cas' dream shifted then and black ooz shot up from around them and covered Cas. The angel cried out, clinging to Dean as marks slowly carved themselves all over his body. Dean knew that most were from helping him and Sammy in the past. Dean traced a hand over Cas' bleeding chest where an angel banishing symbol was carved. His stomach turned as he felt the sticky crimson cling to his fingers. He rubbed the blood of and took Cas' chin between his somewhat clean fingers. "I feel guilty for the pain I put you through too, Cas. Hell, half the time I never said a damn thank you or sorry. Well, I'm saying it now, Cas." Dean, moved his hand from Cas' chin and took the angels hands in his, squeezing lightly. "Thank you, Cas. Thank you for bleeding for me, protecting me, protecting my brother. I'm sorry for not thinking about you or your brothers when I should have and for being a dick." Dean pulled Cas into a tight embrace. Cas didn't hug back.
"I ruin everything I touch," Cas whispered. "The…the journal...and –"
"Fuck the journal, Cas," Dean whispered, clinging to the angel tighter. "It's just a bunch of papers. You, your brothers, Sam, Bobby, Kevin, and Charlie are what I care about. That journal isn't. It was just an old memory of a family I had once." Dean smiled softly and gently pulled away, standing to his feet and glancing around them. The figures no longer looked tortured or broken. They looked healthy and safe. Dean's eyes got a glimpse of a door that looked exactly like the door of their home. Dean smiled and held a hand out to Cas.
"Come back with me, Cas. God knows that if you do we'll both get hurt more than any of us can stand, but you know what would hurt me more, Cas?" Cas shook his head, refusing to meet Dean's gaze. Dean let a single tear fall from his eye. "Never finding out who this Dwean person is." Cas let out a small laugh mixed with a sob. He looked up at Dean with teary eyes and Dean held out a hand. "Please, Cas. Wake up." Cas hesitated, glancing around himself at the faces in his dream. "I can't promise bad things will stop happening, but I can promise that the others and I will be there for you," Dean urged. Cas closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. Dean waited, heart pounding hard in his chest. Cas finally reached out, taking Dean's hand. Relief flooded through the hunter as he watched Cas' form shift back into one of a child. Tiny black wings materialized from his back and his clothes shrunk to fit him. Dean grinned at the wee angel, but Castiel didn't grin back. His eyes were set on Dean's arm. Dean frowned and glanced down, eyes widening as something like black mist coiled down his arm. The hunter cried out in terror and tried to pull his hand from Castiel's, but their hands felt stuck together. Dean watched as the smoke traveled from him to Castiel, wrapping around the angel. What was it? Was it part of the nightmare? Was Cas' mind fighting to keep the angel locked up?
The black completely absorbed the angel and Dean screamed, hand finally pulling free from Castiel's.
Dean startled awake to his greatest nightmare. The sound of a flat lining machine blared loudly throughout the entire room. Dean's heart clenched tight in his chest and he felt the grief hit him like a crashing wave. 'Please, no. Cas, please…' Dean buried his head further into the pillow it was currently stuffed against, trying to block out the sound of the heart monitor and to keep his gaze from the still form right next to him. '…don't do this. This can't be happening...'
"Come Back," Dean pleaded, fingers rubbing against the still hand he was holding.
"D...Dwean?" a hoarse voice whispered. Dean's heart squeezed and he slowly lifted his head. Green eyes instantly met blue and Dean reached out. His fingers brushed at the soft skin of Castiel's face and slipped down to the angel's chest. He kept his hand still, watching as Cas' chest raised up and down and feeling as the angel's heart beat gently. A ragged sob burst past Dean's lips and the hunter's tears spilled from his eyes.
"Who?" Dean teased, wiping a hand over his face before throwing himself at the angel and holding Cas close. Cas buried his face into Dean's neck, his own tears falling. The sound of feet running down the hall caught their attention and they both looked up as Sam threw the door open, panic in his eyes. The rest of the crew was with him, looking just as startled. They even had silver blades in their hands.
"Dean, the machine! We –" Sam stopped, eyes falling on the wires to the heart monitor sitting discarded on the bed with several other wires Cas had pulled off when he woke up. His eyes looked to Dean's arms at the very thin, very pale, and very awake angel. "CAS!" he cried, rushing farther into the room and hugging the angel gently like he was afraid Cas would break. Charlie and Kevin gave him a quick hug next before pulling away and letting Gabriel and Balthazar see their brother.
"Gabby, Balthy," Cas whispered softly, smiling at his brothers. Balthazar and Gabriel lunged into their brothers arms, squeezing Cas tighter than the others had. They spouted threats at their baby brother, telling him never to frighten them like that again. When they finally pulled away Custos stepped forward. At first the puppy stared at him, head tilted as if he was confused. Cas reached out a skinny hand. The angel whispered something in enochian and the pup's ears twitched and the puppy leaned forward, licking at the angel's face. The angel giggled and patted the puppy before stretching his wings and glancing at the calendar sitting untouched on the wall. "Sherlock didn't air yet did it?" Cas teased. Charlie let out a laugh, wiping a few tears from her eyes.
"Nah, you didn't nap that long, but setlock has started," Charlie chuckled. Cas laughed back and turned his gaze to Bobby.
"I heard you," the angel whispered. Bobby smiled a little and nodded. Cas smiled back, yawning and leaning heavily against Dean. "Why am I still sleepy?" he asked, rubbing at his eyes.
"Your body needs time to adjust," Bobby stated. We should probably leave you be," the old man added, nodding at the door. Charlie and Kevin reluctantly left the room and Bobby turned to the Djinn family standing in the corner of the room. "Ya'll are free to go. Thanks for the help." The family nodded and made their way out of the bedroom, waving goodbye when Cas waved at them. Once the door banged shut everything was back how it started. Just the six of them again (Oh, and Custos of course). Cas snuggled into his bed and his brothers sprawled out around him, draping their wings around his small form. Dean and Sam brushed their fingers through the feathers of the three, drifting to sleep along with their angel and Bobby draped the blue baby blanket over them before leaving them alone together.
God stood in Heaven, smiling down at his children. He had heard the many prayers sent to him by the Winchester family. He had even heard both Lydia and Joshua pray. God wished he could have made it simple for them and just healed Castiel, but there was nothing he could do about his son's condition without messing up his plans for the second chance for his children. He had allowed the demon to snatch the angels anyway. It was all part of the plan to show his children what they needed to see. The emotions of love, heartache, and guilt needed to be set free. It's what his children needed to feel. It's what the Winchesters needed in order to do what was right. To carry on. God turned and walked back into the garden. Two figures stopped him mid-step. He smiled at them.
"Joshua. Lydia," he greeted.
"It was that easy? Castiel is alright now?" Lydia questioned. God didn't answer. Lydia frowned. "What about the kidnapped angels?" Again, God gave no answer. Lydia's eyes blazed. "What is going on, God? You told us your plan, but I don't remember signing up to watch these kids get hurt!" God stepped toward Lydia, taking her hands in his. He rubbed his thumbs over her palms gently.
"My dear witch, I promise you it'll all work out in the end. I want all my children to receive a second chance and I will make sure that happens. Certain deeds must be committed first to aid them though," he explained.
"You have faith, don't you, Joshua?" Joshua hesitated. "Joshua?"
"Father, my sibling weren't meant to get hurt –"
"They live in a cruel world, my son. If they didn't get hurt then this would have all been pointless." Both Joshua and Lydia stiffened, but neither spoke. "You'll see. Everything happens for a reason." He smirked then. "After all…I do work in mysterious ways."