CHAPTER ELEVEN
Alternate realities or 'parallel universes' - which she's discovered are considered basically the same thing - are talked about only in theory for the most part. As a facet of fiction, or game playing. Relegated to rumors and conspiracies. Used to explain the sudden disappearance of mid-flight passenger jets, or ships in the Bermuda Triangle. All kinds of oddities.
As she'd surfed, title after title had looked promising. Articles that implied her answers lay within, which in fact only contained ridiculous, time-wasting metaphors.
Pieces about how walking into New York's latest Apple store was like entering a fourth dimension. Or how Putin's twisted worldview was akin to him living in a parallel universe. They misled and frustrated as they buried her beneath a mountain of useless information.
But then she'd happened upon something… Ten Compelling Pieces of Evidence That Prove Alternate Realities Exist. An article that she read in full, twice. Because actually, despite some almost insurmountable scientific language, which she'd needed Google to define and which she'd read out loud in the best Dr. Isles voice she could manage, it was very compelling. It felt like the closest she was ever going to get to understanding what was happening.
And yet, none of the ten matched the evidence before her right now.
The doorway of light. Blazing once more, like the sun's come early, though it seems to hurt her eyes a little less this time.
She'd reasoned away every objection to doing this again on the drive over.
It's not cheating. Not when she's single here and there's no Jack on the other side.
Deception isn't a factor. She's still Jane Rizzoli after all. She isn't inhabiting somebody else, isn't concealing her true identity. If she were, she'd be worried about consent. But she knows what they have is consensual, and smiles to herself as she replays the other Maura saying I love you. First with her words and again with her body.
It's not taking advantage, unless you count it as an opportunity for happiness. Who wouldn't want to grab that with both hands? She wants to reach out and take it. Reach out and…
She can feel it pulling, tugging her arm and then her whole body as her fingertips get closer to the light. She tries to resist, fights the drag as much as her strength will allow. It doesn't pull her through in an instant like it had the last time. Gives her a second or two to feel the pounding start in her head, to watch her hand dissolve before a painful yank tears her from her rightful home.
She slips beneath the sheets. Presses her underwear-covered front to Maura's naked back and wraps an arm around the woman's waist.
"Mm-where've you been?" the blonde murmurs, voice deep and husky from slumber.
"Couldn't sleep," she whispers, plants a kiss to Maura's shoulder blade.
It's not quite a lie, though it doesn't prevent a tiny pang of guilt deep down. Having cleaned both herself and her dirt smeared sweats in the guest bathroom, she knows what finding them in the morning will suggest to Maura. That she went for a run or worked out in the middle of the night. And though it wasn't premeditated, it will be a fortunate and harmless assumption for the doctor to make if she discovers them in a few hours.
Skimming a hand over Jane's, Maura pulls her closer, hugs the arm around her more tightly. Hums, "Missed you," and pushes shapely hips backwards.
The words generate a lump in Jane's throat and she presses another lingering kiss to Maura's skin in lieu of trying to speak.
Only hours ago she had scoffed at Angela for suggesting such a thing. Thought it a ridiculous notion. And yet, lying here, she hears the words for herself, feels them hit her square in the chest. Wonders if it could be true. Wonders how long she's been gone.
"I'm here," she croaks, rolls her pelvis toward firm buttocks as Maura leads her hand onto a soft breast.
Encouraged, she fondles the flesh beneath her hot palm. Pinches and strokes a hardening nipple until Maura's breath hitches. "Jane -"
Already wet between her own legs, she retreats for a moment. Feels Maura roll onto her back beside her as she removes her pants and sports bra.
Reaching and needy, Maura's hands guide her as she moves. Direct her as she plants an elbow into the mattress, as she lifts, turns, and settles her body gently atop the blonde. Nestles her thigh between parted legs. Sighs at the slippery warmth found there just for her and moans as her lips meet Maura's waiting mouth.
"I'm right here."
"Yo, Jimmie Johnson! Was there a race nobody told me about?" She shucks a thumb over her shoulder as she stomps into Maura's office the next morning carrying a large takeout coffee. "You left tire marks back there!"
"Really?" Maura squeaks, her face alight with surprise and the glow from her laptop.
"Rea – No!" she exclaims, amused that this worldly woman is still so gullible sometimes. "It's a Prius," she chuckles as she takes a seat. "You're in no danger of winning a drag race anytime soon. But, still… is there a reason why you left Joe's like someone was chasing you?"
"Test results!" Maura declares. Starts to explain but seems to think better of it half way through. "I wanted to… um… review them, you know, before you… um -"
"Before I got here," Jane supplies, schools a serious expression.
Maura stutters, shakes her head as she retrieves a folder, "No. I-I just thought -"
She knows exactly what Maura thought. Can clearly see the panic in hazel eyes, the worry that admitting it might cause offense. It wouldn't, so she offers a smirk and raises a teasing eyebrow. Tries not to be the huge ass that this other Jane clearly was. "You thought it would be easier to do that without me hovering over you?"
"Of course not!" Maura scoffs, moves out from behind the desk and heads for the couch. "I just thought I could… in case it was… you know, but it wasn't, so…"
Maura circles the coffee table and hands off the folder. Takes a seat and sighs hard. Scratches at the redness on her neck on the way up to adjust an earring.
Jane catches the move in her periphery and snickers. Covers it with a fist pressed to her mouth as she swallows the last of her coffee. She has to give Maura credit, for wanting to ensure she wasn't walking in to bad news this morning. And then for trying so hard to recover from her admission.
"It's okay," she purrs, hopes the doctor's hives don't take too long to clear up. Pointing at the folder of results laid out on the coffee table and, despite needing little help, she adds, "Come here. Why don't you translate this for me?"
"Charlie Mills," Maura states as she scoots closer. Quickens Jane's heart for two reasons at once.
"We recovered his DNA from Rebecca Mill's body," Maura says, provides a pause that Jane uses to nod her understanding.
They've got him.
"GSR analysis matched particles found on Rebecca's body to some found inside a wooden box that was recovered from the scene. Both samples likely came from a 9mm cartridge, make unknown. Coupled with some unusual indentations in the box lining, it was suspected to have housed a handgun."
Jane frowns. "They found a gun case?"
"No, not a gun case," Maura explains, hands gesturing as she speaks. "Far more ornate than that. Like a – a large carved jewelry box. Padded and lined with high quality silk. Sadly, there's no way to know for sure if it was your murder weapon."
"Doesn't sound like something your average guy would keep his gun in," she mutters as her thoughts race, her mind skipping back through all the facts. "Charlie reported his gun stolen. But I have a feeling he knew who took it."
"What do you mean?"
"When we interviewed him, he said Rebecca was always trying to take things that she wasn't entitled to. The way he said it… it could have been about more than just money."
Maura leans down, elbows propped on her thighs. "You think Rebecca stole his gun?"
"I'm not saying she stole it. But what if she kept it when she kicked him out? Might count as stealing to him. He could have filed a report on principle, he seemed angry enough. And people just don't take guns in cases, or ornate jewelry boxes to crime scenes. I think he beat her, she pulled the gun out, something went wrong, and he shot her."
Maura gives a small shrug. "It does all seem to fit." Graces Jane with a proud smile.
"Well, I should go," she says, cheery and pleased that the evidence corroborates her original theory. She scoops up the file, rises and heads for the doorway. "Me and Frost need to pick up Charlie Mills. I just hope he hasn't skipped town -"
"Korsak."
"Hm?"
"You said Frost," Maura explains, rising to catch up. "You and Frost. But you meant Korsak."
She slips a hand beneath her hair, scratches the unease that itches up the back of her neck. Is this how Maura feels when the hives hit? "I said Fro – Ha! That's fu – my mind…" She circles her index finger by her temple. "Got a little messed up there for a sec - Of course I meant Korsak," she rushes, feels a blush coat her cheeks even as she tries to remain nonchalant.
Maura steps in, quietly admits, "It happens to me, too, sometimes." Comforts Jane with hands that trail up the length of her arms. Leans in until their foreheads are almost touching. "And it's okay to talk about him."
She can tell Maura is worried about her. Can't tell her she's worried for nothing. Can see the pain of real grief on Maura's face. Can't admit she just saw Frost yesterday.
"I know," she husks instead as she closes the gap. Cupping Maura's face, she traces a freckled cheek with her thumb. Feels tears develop as she hears Maura's voice break.
"I miss him, too. Just promise me you're doing okay," the blonde begs, eyes turned down and palms pressed flat to Jane's chest.
She lifts Maura's face. Slides her fingers into thick waves of honeyed blonde. Kisses Maura as if it's the last time. Tries to sear her vow onto soft, pink lips. "I'm okay. I promise."
Wrapping the blonde up in a strong, supportive hug, she comforts Maura for several minutes. Rubs circles on her back until she's sure Maura's tears have dried, and the black cloud of sadness that hangs over them has dissipated.
Maura flashes a crooked smile when they release each other. "Sorry," the blonde says, hiccupping a little laugh and earning a headshake. "You should go. Go on. I'm fine."
With a swift pat to her butt, Jane is shooed further towards the doorway. She turns and leans against the frame as Maura heads back behind the desk. "Wanna meet me in the café for lunch?" she asks, eager to kill two birds with one stone.
"Text me when you get back," Maura nods, smiles and drops her attention back to the laptop as Jane moves out of the room.
When she rushes back into the doorway a couple of seconds later Maura jumps a little in surprise. "Just out of interest…" she says, with a sudden urge to sate her curiosity. "Did you ever teach those Forensic Science classes at the college like they asked you to?"
Drawing her chin back, Maura scrunches her brow. "Um, no. If memory serves that was the week you were sick and I -" The blonde draws her shoulders up while she seems to weigh her words. "I… I cancelled."
When Maura shrugs, as if blowing off such a huge honor was no big deal, Jane's jaw drops a little. "Oh."
She remembers being sick and being taken care of that weekend. Remembers being what Angela had called a needy, whiny pain in the ass as her mother had flounced back out to the guesthouse. Remembers feeling a tiny bit guilty, but not enough to stop her from secretly enjoying every second of Maura's attentiveness.
She recalls the following Monday morning specifically. Stubbornly refusing yet more of Maura's care, and physically hustling the blonde out of her own home to go and teach her very first class. Go get 'em, she'd rallied, realizing how selfish she'd been up until that point. And despite Maura's nerves, she'd believed it was all for the doctor's own good.
It's easy now to interpret Maura's pause, to hear the unspoken words. To read the sentiment that is written all over that beautiful face. You were sick and I… I just wanted to take care of you.
"Oh," she drawls, with a tilt of her head as everything becomes clear.
Of course, there's always a chance that she could be wrong. But maybe in this life that's all it took to change the course of their relationship.
Perhaps it was just one tiny drop of selfishness on her part. Please stay, she might have begged. Or perhaps apathy was to blame. Don't go if you don't want to go, she might have shrugged. But regardless of the minor details, in this life, clearly the outcome has been very different.
"That was months ago," Maura adds, still frowning. "Why do you ask?"
"Oh. No reason," she lies, bids another farewell and grins as she strides away.
She couldn't forget that Monday if she tried. Because that was the day that Maura met Jack.