CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Four houses up from Charlie Mills' home she parks her car at the curb and kills the engine.
This is a good distance, she muses, as she tilts the rearview mirror to a new angle and slides down in her seat. It's about as close as she dare get, but it's near enough that she'll spot him easily when he returns.
And she's prepared to wait him out. As long as it takes. Because even if he's not keeping Kelsey here, she can tail him – all week long if necessary – until she has a solid lead on the little girl's whereabouts.
So, she waits.
She tries to be patient, but she's itchy and restless. Her every thought sends an unsettling surge of adrenaline through her already racing heart.
How will she redeem herself in Korsak's eyes? How will she prove Frost's trust isn't misplaced? How will she fix things with Maura? How, how, HOW?
When she finally caves and checks her watch, her headache is at full strength and she's been here for what feels like hours.
The small amount of traffic passing by has paid her no mind. She's been entirely incognito and has gone easily undetected. But then a familiar pickup truck approaches from an unexpected direction and pulls to a stop right beside her.
Her head falls back heavily against the seat. "Shit!"
There's no point trying to hide her identity as he inches slowly forward. Most people would recognize her from the long dark curls alone. But, as he deliberately brings his open driver's side window to meet hers, his eyes are locked to her face like crosshairs to a target.
"Detective Rizzoli," he drawls as she stares him down. The way her name slithers from his tongue makes her skin crawl and she wonders how long it would take to petition the court for a name change so she never has to hear it again.
"Mr. Mills," she grinds out. Starts to slide her left hand up her thigh towards the holster on her hip, undetectable micro movements that won't spook him. With any luck.
"I did wonder if I'd see you again," he says far too brightly, like he's playing for a crowd that isn't here, that doesn't know what a monster he is. "I just didn't expect it to be this soon, but I suppose given your little… outburst earlier -"
"You'll never be rid of me," she growls low. Abandoning all pretense, as if there was any to begin with. "Not until you're behind bars."
Looking off to the distance, he nods to himself as if weighing her threat. But then, he hums a disagreement and she watches him take out his phone and retrieve a business card from his shirt pocket. "See… that's where you're wrong," he states, already dialing a number. With the truck in gear, he tucks the phone between his ear and shoulder and pulls away.
She catches his first few words on the wind and it's enough to send her stomach plummeting into her feet.
"Sergeant Korsak? I'd like to file a complaint."
Oh god.
Time seems to stand still as she stares at the retreating truck in the rearview mirror, eyes burning and unblinking with fury. And then her phone is ringing, and she sighs. Rubs at her forehead as she see Korsak's name on the caller ID.
"Rizzoli."
"Harassing a suspect?" he exclaims. "Really?!"
"No! I can explain," she tries. "I didn't -"
But he isn't having it. "Don't bullshit me, Jane. You get your sorry ass back to this precinct NOW, or so help me you'll be suspended for a MONTH!"
When the call ends abruptly, she throws the phone hard against the passenger door with a yell of utter frustration. There's a cracking sound and then a thud as it disappears down the side of the seat, but it barely registers.
With her eyes still pinned on Charlie's truck, she starts the engine and watches as he idles for a long time by his house.
Is he watching her the way she's watching him? Probably. Creepy fucker.
But then, he finally moves on. Drives straight past the end of his driveway and leaves the area without ever entering his house.
She closes her eyes and sighs hard. There's no telling where he might go and she so badly wants to follow him, but she can't even manage to do a simple surveillance right anymore. Every move she makes seems to compromise this case more than the last.
It'd be so easy to call it quits. To shake her fists at this universe and scream at the sky enough, you win! At least she hasn't messed up her other life yet.
But, actually… knowing she still has a job with an unblemished record in another reality doesn't feel like much of a consolation. Or even a way out. Because the notion, though fleeting, leaves a bitterness in her mouth that tastes a lot like quitting. And she won't quit.
Not on Kelsey Mills, or Vince Korsak, or Barry Frost. And especially not on Maura Isles.
Back at the precinct, having taken the longest route back, she holes up in the Division One café. Sips miserably at her coffee until it is cold. Only when she can't stand the numbness in her ass any more, does she climb down from the wooden stool.
She's almost to the doorway when Frankie trudges through in his uniform, shoulders hunched over even more than usual. "Hey, Jane."
"I thought it was your day off?" she says with a frown.
"It was," he sighs. Shoots her a wry smile and tilts his head to the side. "But Sanders AND Clarkson both called in sick."
"Ooh, sucks to be you," she snorts, the natural impulse to tease her younger sibling still very present no matter her mood. It helps to cover the pang in her chest, too. What she wouldn't give right now for those simpler, earlier days when she was in uniform.
"Uh huh," he mutters as she pats him on the shoulder and steps away. But then he asks, "Oh, are you going upstairs?" and she turns back quickly.
"Yeah. Why?"
"I think Frost and Korsak had a fight or something. It didn't sound good. I'd steer clear if I were you."
"Right," she nods, as if clueless. Flashes a small smile that she hopes looks genuine before she turns to leave. Ignores the jump in her heartrate as she waves feebly behind. "Thanks for the heads up."
Once inside the elevator, her hand hovers over the button that will take her up to the bullpen. But as the doors snap closed and she tries to swallow the burn of guilt at the back of her throat, she makes a decision that has her fingers pressing a different button altogether.
She won't be a coward. She won't.
She presents herself timidly, raps her knuckles so quietly it would probably go unnoticed in any other part of this building. But here, the serenity of Maura's office has the sound echoing off the walls, and she rubs at her fingers as if the sharp pain there isn't entirely psychosomatic.
"Can I talk to you?"
"I'm busy," the doctor snips without looking up. Just continues working behind the desk and Jane nods to herself. This was to be expected, though it doesn't make it hurt any less. And she does totally deserve it.
"Maura, I just want to ap -"
"Not now, Detective Rizzoli. As I said, I'm extremely busy." Maura finally looks up, eyes sharp and expression flat. "We're overloaded with cases right now. Not all of them homicides."
Yep, she nods to herself again. Deserves that, too.
It wouldn't be the first time she's pushed for lab results. But the line between nuisance and offensive has been crossed. And if any other detective had tried to advance their case by speaking to Maura like that, she'd have had them pinned against the nearest wall like a snarling guard dog on a burglar.
The fact that she's gotten away with far more than most until now shouldn't mean she gets away with this. She welcomes Maura's wrath, determined to suck it up like an adult.
"I know, that's why I came to say how sorry I am for how I acted before -"
Maura slaps the lid down on her laptop with a heavy sigh. Folds her arms across her chest and raises an eyebrow.
If she's going to get Maura to listen then now is as good a time as any. While the blonde remains quiet and clearly pissed that she's still here, she strides closer and decides to keep going.
"I should never have yelled at you the way I did. It was…" She frowns hard at the memory, feels the pain in the deep crease between her brows. "… inexcusable and I'm ashamed of myself. This case has… torn me up inside for a reason I can't explain. I haven't been myself; doing and saying things I shouldn't, and I – I would never, ever hurt you, Maura, not intentionally and I'm so, so sorry. It won't happen again, I promise. You're my best friend and I lov -" She clears her throat. Loses the last two words in a lump of emotion. Says something else instead and okay a small part of her is still yellow bellied. "I thought maybe later I could come over and we -"
"I can't tonight," Maura states with a haughty sniff, not making eye contact. "I already have plans."
With her stomach twisted into a knot, she blinks away the wetness that has gathered along her lashes. Watches silently as hazel eyes drop to the desk and the blonde's face becomes aglow once again with the white light of her reopened laptop.
She thinks about the date and suddenly remembers the tickets she'd picked up for Jack not that long ago. Almost snaps her fingers as she mutters to herself dejectedly, "Right. The Egyptian jewelry exhibition."
Maura stops and peers at her intently. "'Jewels of Ancient Nubia' at the MFA." Blonde eyebrows twitch upward and then fall. "But, how would you know -?"
"You told me," she blurts, tries to distract the doctor with a half-truth. But by the look on Maura's face, it might already be too late.
Then, as if summoned by fate, her cell phone rings and she snatches it from its holster. It's Frost. "I have to go," she rushes, already backing toward the doorway. Stopping only when Maura stands primly behind the desk.
"I hope you realize," Maura begins as she smooths down her skirt, "being spoken to like that is not new to me." There's a glimmer of wetness in hazel eyes that belies the straightforward anger in Maura's tone and the rigidly clenched fists at her sides. "Having hordes of middle-aged white men, who think they can throw around their weight and power, intimidate me and make unreasonable demands until they get what they want is not new to me."
"Maura -" Ignoring the phone but not the pang in her chest, Jane strides forward only to have the doctor wave her off.
"But I can take it, Jane. From anyone else, I can take it." Maura swallows hard, seems to lose the fight with her composure as a tear escapes and her voice breaks. "Because they don't mean anything to me."
There's a long pause as Jane bravely holds Maura's gaze. Stares into the face of painful disappointment that she'd shied away from earlier.
"But I can't take it..." Maura finishes with a small head shake, "... not from you."
In a few short strides, she's around the desk, wrapping Maura up in her arms and burying her face in the sweet smell of honeysuckle shampoo.
"I am so sorry," she murmurs repeatedly, kisses the words into Maura's hairline and feels the doctor's arms encircle her more firmly each time.
For long moments, she luxuriates in the embrace. Wonders how long they could stay like this as she rubs her free hand up and down Maura's back. But then the phone comes alive again only a second later, and she curses under her breath as she releases the hug.
"I'm sorry," she mumbles, conscious of the awkward repetition. Realizes that she hadn't noticed the phone stop ringing. "I should get that," she says, noticing Frost's name on the screen again as Maura steps back. "But before I do, I need to know that we're still friends, Maura. Can you forgive me?"
She watches the blonde drop her gaze to the floor and sweep long bangs behind her ears. There's just a hint of a smile on beautiful pink lips when their eyes meet again. It's enough to make her feel exponentially better and she only realizes she's staring at Maura's mouth when the blonde speaks again.
"You should definitely get that. I sent Susie upstairs with a partial DNA report for the Mills case."
"You did?!" she squeaks as she drags her eyes up. "But how -?"
Maura beams, eyes glinting with pride. "Because I have the best team in the state."
"They're the best team in the country," Jane agrees with a nod and a grin. "Because of you." She pauses enough to let the compliment settle, to see Maura smile and then checks one last time as she backs out of the room, her phone already halfway to her ear, "Are we okay?"
Maura nods and the smile widens. And the lightness that generates within Jane's chest makes her feel like she could float.