Funniest Duo of Stillwater

It didn't look like a good day for Sheriff Donna Hanscum at first. It had started off as just the usual Wednesday morning. She woke up with a cup of her favorite coffee and watched her favorite program until it was time to head for work. When she got there her little office wasn't empty. Sitting by the desk flirting with one of the new recruits was her ex-husband. He was grinning at a very pretty and very thin brunette, eyes falling on her exposed breasts every few moments. Donna had sucked in a breath and forced herself forward, but a sudden feeling of anxiety crept up her skin and her courage drained away. She found herself turned back around and on her way home in less than a minute. She hated herself for being such a cowered and letting her ex of all people get to her so badly. She didn't know what else to do though. After years of being put down by him and others it just felt natural. It was a sick idea to find something so natural in that kind of thing, but Donna did it anyway and she feared she always would. Those feelings were to be challenged though and their challenger was waiting back home at Donna's little house.

Donna fiddled with the keys to her home as she stepped up to the doorway. She pressed the key through the hole, unlocking the door and pushing it open. The door, however only opened a little bit before it hit something on the other side. Donna frowned and peaked through the crack, spotting a basket with a note. Donna continued to push on the door until she had enough room to push an arm through the crack to push the basket out of the way. With that taken care of she pushed the door open the rest of the way and stepped inside, closing the door shut behind her. She stared at the basket by her feet for a moment. She couldn't see what was inside. A yellow blanket hid whatever it was. Donna reached for the card on top of the blanket. Maybe it was a muffin basket? Or maybe a 'sorry your marriage went down the toilet' gift? Donna shook herself and forced herself to concentrate on the loopy handwriting on one side of the card.

'A little laughter can cure any wound' once side said. Donna flipped it over. 'His name is Uriel' was printed on the other side. Donna frowned and looked back to the basket, hesitantly lifting the yellow blanket. Her eyes widened. At first, all she saw was a ball of feathers. They started out a dark grey and shaded to a lighter grey towards the tips. The raches of each feather were a deep, dark purple that really made each feather pop. Swaddled in the wrap of feathers was a little boy with dark skin and big clothes. He was fast asleep, thumb pressed against his lips.

"Well, sweet Hershey's Kisses…" Donna gasped, placing a hand over her mouth to keep her voice down. "…what could you be?" She reached into the box, swiping her fingers over the grey feathers. They twitched under her touch and the sheriff quickly pulled back, eyes wide. "They're real." Donna reached out; touching again and this time the baby woke up. At first he didn't notice her. He only looked around, looking rather confused with his surroundings. When he looked at himself his eyes got wide in shock and even more confusion. He acted like he'd never seen himself before. He inspected his tiny arms and fingers, wiggled his toes and flapped his wings. Donna found herself gasping again as she felt the little swoosh of wind the wings kicked up. That got her Uriel's attention. The angel looked at her, eyeing her up and down like he was taking in every single detail. After a moment of silence he finally relaxed and pointed at her.

"Muddy Monkey," he said. Donna frowned. Monkey? Muddy monkey?" What in the name of all did that mean? She shook her head slowly and pointed at herself.

"Donna," she told him. "My name is Donna." Baby Uriel, crinkled his nose at that, but tried repeating her name. Donna grinned when he got it right on the second try and praised the little guy for it. She then picked him up, wrapping him in the yellow blanket he came in when his too big clothes fell away. She bounced him in her arms a little and Uriel watched her, not looking away from her eyes for more than a brief second. "I should really call this in," she told him. Uriel tensed in her arms. Donna laughed, shaking her head. "I…don't think I will though." Uriel's body relaxed, but the confusion painting his face only continued to grow. "I just feel like…I shouldn't. I…it feels wrong," Donna admitted. Baby Uriel reached for her face, patting a tiny hand against her cheek.

"Monkey," he babbled. Donna laughed heartily, the sound of her laughter causing Uriel's wings to puff up a little.

"Guess I was right on it being a nickname, huh?" she huffed. Uriel just frowned at her in more confusion. Donna patted his lower back. "Well, if I'm going to be keeping you I better make a list of things you need, huh?" she hummed. "Maybe get you some cloths?" she asked. Uriel grimaced, glancing back at his too big clothes. When the angel nodded, Donna carried to the couch, grabbing a sheet of paper of the coffee table and a pen. She set Uriel in her lap and started making a long list. Clothes, baby food, diapers, shampoo for the feathers were the first few things she put on the list. She held it up for Uriel to see and the angel looked over the list, reading each word carefully. He nodded after reading and Donna smiled. "I missing anything?" she asked. Uriel shrugged, ignoring her and focusing on petting his wings. Donna watched him, raising a brow. "Oh, you got a little attitude?" she stated. Uriel glared at her in the corner of his eye, but kept most of his attention on his wing. Donna smirked at the angel and set him on the cushion so she could get up. Uriel's face creased in confusion and he watched as Donna disappeared for a moment and came back with a box of chocolate chip cookies she always made sure took up space on her counter in the kitchen. Uriel's mouth watered as Donna took a bite of the soft cookie and he held his hands up.

"Yummy! Cookie!" he cooed. Donna raised a brow at him.

"Only good little…winged babies get chocolate," Donna stated taking a bite of another cookie after finishing the first. Uriel thought for a moment and held his hand up over his head, trying to make a halo.

"Me good!" he said cutely. Donna couldn't hold back her laugh and she handed Uriel a cookie. The little angel nibbled at it, humming happily and getting chocolate all over his fingers. Donna watched him, face split with a grin. She thought about the little note on the back of the card Uriel came with. Maybe it was right? Maybe little Uriel was what she needed to mend the gaping wounds left over by Doug?

On a sunny Wednesday a week later, Donna was still the adopted guardian of little Uriel. They'd done a lot in the past week together. Uriel got new clothes. One had a monkey on it and others had cute sayings. He also got a crib placed right next to Donna's bed just in case she needed to get to him over the night. Uriel had also warmed up to her. Sure, he still called her a monkey, but he had stopped looking at her weird or giving her attitude. He had started to try in making her laugh. On the days she sat at home looking through picture of her and her ex feeling sad or upset, Uriel would crawl over to her and make funny faces or blabber things at her that sounded like nothing but gibberish. It warmed her heart to feel so loved. Uriel never teased her when she stuffed half a box of doughnuts into her mouth. In fact, he had tried too. One doughnut was all he could fit into his mouth though. Still, it had them both laughing. When Donna would try out a new workout program on TV, Uriel would join her instead of judging her. He'd stretch his wings, kicking and punching them into the air along with his arms as he mimicked the people on the television. It was adorable and Donna found herself seated on the couch filming him with her iPhone instead of actually doing the workout herself. It was all going to well for them, but then a new problem popped up.

Work.

She'd taken time off since Uriel showed up in her home, but she had to go back. If she stayed away any longer she'd have to hand over her badge. Losing something she worked so hard to get was not what she needed at the moment, but she couldn't just leave Uriel home alone. She thought about getting a babysitter, but who could she tell? Uriel had wings! She couldn't just leave him with a stranger that didn't understand. Donna didn't even understand what exactly Uriel was either, but she didn't care much. She'd never risk his safety like some strangers might.

"Monkey!" Uriel screeched, shaking Donna from her thoughts. She looked at the angel in his crib and smiled sadly.

"I gotta go back to work today, Uriel," she sighed. Uriel stilled, watching carefully as Donna closed her eyes and thought of something to do. She sat up slowly, an idea easing its way through her mind. "Uriel, how do you feel about helping me at work today?" she asked. Uriel squealed, kicking his legs excitedly. Donna laughed and quickly got dressed before grabbing Uriel, changing him, and getting him dressed too. She made sure his wings were hidden by a big coat and his baby blanket before walking outside to her car with him bundled in her arms.

Uriel was surrounded the second Donna walked in with him. All her coworkers were shocked on seeing the little cutie. Uriel took great pleasure in all the attention he was getting. Donna could feel his wings ruffling under the fabric of his coat, wanting to show off. When asked about him, Donna said that she was his godmother and was going to watch over him for now on. Donna's boss didn't seem to mind the new face. She had welcomed the angel and told him that as long as he behaved he was welcome to visit.

It had all started out so well. It only took one person to crush Donna Hanscum though. Doug.

"Well, lookie here!" Donna's ex-husband called. Donna tensed and closed her eyes, counting back from ten before turning around with a fake smile splitting her face.

"Oh! Howdy do, Doug! You're looking good," she called. Doug smiled at her, stepping up close.

"Awe, well, I've always been the good-looking one, right?" Doug chuckled. He reached out with his pointer finger then, poking her stomach. "You on the other hand…" Uriel's eyes blazed at the action and he let out a little squawk, gaining Doug's attention. "Oh, not getting any attention?" Doug cooed. He reached out, pulling Uriel from Donna's arms. He bounced Uriel in his arms, smirking. "You're taking care of him?"

"Uh…y…yeah," Donna stuttered, wrapping her arms over her belly in attempt to hide it. That didn't go unnoticed by the angel in Doug's arms either. "Well, I'm trying." Doug scoffed.

"Well, just make sure to cut down on the snacks. Babies need a healthy diet and you…well, you're far from –" Uriel hiccuped, his mashed banana from breakfast spilling out of his lips and splattering onto Donna's ex-husband's neck and shoulder. The man holding him gagged, shivering as the baby throw up slithered down his collar. Uriel grinned, pleased with himself. It was nowhere near his usual flashy form of attack when someone angers him, but it did the job. He twisted his body a little and held his hands back out to Donna.

"Monkey!" he cooed, flexing his fingers a little. Donna took him; eyes wide as she watched her ex wither and gross out over the baby barf covering him. A small smile slowly eased over her lips and a tiny laugh bubbled in the back of her throat. She dropped a kiss onto Uriel's cheek.

"Thanks, Uriel," she whispered. Uriel grinned back and snuggled close to her as they went to grab some doughnuts one of the other sheriffs just brought in.