Failed Promises

It was a sunny day with a cloudless blue sky and a pleasant wind. Children played at the park, their parents laughing as they watched their children or helped them on the monkey bars. There was one parent though that did not join in with the joyous laughter and fun. This parent was single mother of one Amelia Novak. She sat in the middle of the park. The bench she was sitting on was peeling its dried red paint. Amelia picked at it with her nails, hating how the cracked paint reminded her of her own heart. This was how she spent most of her days now. She watched the children on the play-sets with their parents, longing to turn back time and get the chance to do that herself again. That idea was impossible though. Her husband was gone, stolen from her by an angel of the lord of all things. She didn't even have a daughter anymore; she left her darling Claire not long after losing dear Jimmy again. "I have to find myself," she had written on the note left for her daughter and mother. It was a terrible excuse and the opening to any movie about a troubled teen, but it was the truth. Amelia had felt so lost after discovering that Jimmy hadn't been crazy all along. Angels were real and so were demons. All she had heard in church and prayer however, did nothing to help her through the troubles she faced on her husband's sudden return. Demons were just like the monsters she had always heard about in church. They were cruel and evil creatures. Angels were the ones that really threw her for a loop. They were nothing like what she had read about and yet; they were exactly like what she had read. They were soldiers of Heaven, but they were nowhere near kind. They were deceitful, cold creatures that claimed that everything they did was for God and Heaven, but Amelia didn't feel like that was true. The worst part was that Jimmy had told her what was happening from the beginning like any faithful husband. He had told her about the angel Castiel and that it was all true. God, angels, and demons weren't just characters written in an old book to give people faith. They were all real and she had thrown it back in Jim's face telling him that he was insane. Oh how wrong she had been. If she had believed him from the start maybe she could have stopped it. Maybe she would be like the other mothers in the park with their husbands and children.

Finding herself was only part of her quest though. In order to fully find herself, she needed to find her other half. Jimmy Novak had been stolen from her and Amelia vowed to find him again. She vowed to bring him home to their daughter and never let the two of them go again. She had to. If she lost them both completely everything still left of her would fade away too.

"Dwean! Dwean, watch!" a little voice cried from the monkey bars. Amelia's gaze was drawn to the little voice. It was a little boy with bright blue eyes, dark hair and a trench coat. Amelia's heart clenched as she watched the child swing one the bars. There was something achingly familiar about him, but that was impossible.

Amelia tried to draw her gaze away from the little boy, but she couldn't. Her eyes kept going back to him. He was still on the monkey bars, swinging around it with ease. Two other boys slightly older than him joined along. Brothers maybe? They didn't look alike though.

"Dwean! Watch! Watch!" the trench coated boy called again.

"Alright! Alright!" a gruff voice shouted a little ways away. "I'm coming!" Amelia watched as a man with brownish-blond hair came running onto the playground. Her world came to a stop as she recognized the man's face. She pushed up onto her feet, unconsciously moving towards the man and three boys. The blue eyed boy noticed her in the corner of his eye first and turned, eyes widening at the sight of her. The others frowned at him and turned.

"Mrs. Novak?" Dean said in confusion. Amelia stared at him, a mixer of anger and hate rushing through her as she glared at the man.

"Where is he?" she hissed. Dean frowned at her.

"Who?" Amanda's face heated up and her hands balled up into fists.

"The angel!" Dean straightened and so did the trench coated boy beside him. "The one that took my family away and ruined my life!" Dean protectively stepped in front of the boys on the monkey bars.

"Why do you want him?" Dean questioned, glancing at the boys in the corner of his eye. Amelia stepped into his personal space, voice low as she spoke.

"I want my life back. I want my husband, my daughter –I want what that monster stole from me!"

"Yeah, well that's not going to happen," Dean snapped back. Amelia froze, eyes wide as she stared at the stony face of Dean Winchester.

"And why is that?" she hissed lowly. Dean turned then, pulling the boys behind him into his arms. Amelia didn't look at them though; her eyes were on Dean as she waited for her answer. Dean ran a hand through the dark hair of one of the boys.

"You want to know why?" Dean asked. Amelia nodded, irritation bubbling beneath her skin. Dean stepped into her personal space, eyes glittering darkly.

"Jimmy is gone." Amelia stared at him, her world slowing to a fraction of a second. She felt heavy, like something extremely heavy was being pushed onto her shoulders. "Cas sent him to Heaven a long time ago, Amelia. He's at peace." Amelia shook her head. 'No, not my Jimmy. Jimmy can't be gone. Jimmy can't be dead.' She swung out with a hand, slapping the hunter on the cheek, but he barely flinched. The children in his arms did however.

"How can you say that?" she spat, eyes stinging as they built up with tears. "How can you say that like you trust the angel?"

"Because I do trust him," Dean said in a matter of fact kind of way.

"Why?"

"He's my family," Dean told her. Amelia's tears fell hard and she let out an angry sob.

"Why? Why does he get a family? He destroyed mine. He destroyed everything! What gives him the right to have a family?!"

"I don't know…" the little boy in Dean's arms whispered. The hunter's eyes widened and he clutched the boy tighter as Amelia looked at him. She looked the child huddled between the other two in Dean's arms up and down again. His dark hair, trench coat, and blue eyes were familiar for a reason. That godawful coat Jimmy wore when going out no matter how much she hated it, that dark hair that was usually so well kept was now messy and sticking up all over like it had every morning Jimmy woke up, and those eyes. They weren't like Jimmy's. They were a deeper, shocking blue than Jimmy's ever were. For someone so tiny and young it screamed something ancient and powerful. Amelia took a step back, heart hammering in her chest.

"Castiel," she whispered. The miniature angel turned in Dean's arms, nodding slowly. He looked her up and down too and Amelia had the urge to cover herself as he picked away at her with his shocking eyes. She wondered if he could see every sin she committed since they last saw each other. Did he know what she did to Claire? Did he know how many nights she spent wondering, crying, and searching for Jimmy?

"Amelia?" Cas called out, breaking her from her thoughts. Amelia stared at him and the angel reached out with a small hand. She looked at it, watching as the lax fingers stretched out to her. They wanted to heal, to make things right, but they couldn't. "I'm sorry." There was no healing Amelia's broken life. Amelia struck out, hand close to clapping hard across Castiel's cheek. Heads shot up all around, staring at them with wide eyes as Amelia's hand flew through the air towards the angel's face. Her hand never hit its target. Instead, her hand hit an invisible mass wrapped around Castiel. She didn't know that both Gabriel and Balthazar had wrapped their wings around Cas protectively. Amelia stared at the angel staring at her in Dean's arms. She let out a sob and fell onto her knees in the middle of the playground with several calculating and judgmental eyes boring into her. She glared at them all.

"Mind your own business!" she screeched, teeth gnashed together and eyes burning. People hastily looked away. Some parents even grabbed their children and rushed from the playground all together. She clutched at herself as her body shook, wanting to hide away from the unwanted stares. Something was suddenly draped over her shoulders and Amelia looked up, watching as Dean covered her with his jacket. Castiel was no longer in the hunter's arms and was instead standing right in front of her, brothers standing next to him protectively. Amelia and Cas stared into each other's eyes and Amelia saw that her quest had failed. Yes, she had found Castiel, but she had failed in finding Jimmy. She could tell just by looking into the big blue eyes she once found herself lost in. They weren't her Jimmy's. They held nothing of him anymore. When he had still been with Cas she could see the spark in the blue orbs, but now the spark was gone.

"Oh, Jimmy," she whispered, head dipping forward as tears spilt heavily from her eyes. Warm arms wrapped around her and Amelia thought about pushing away the comfort, but she couldn't. Instead, she reached out, wrapping her arms around Castiel as he hugged her. He didn't speak as they held each other. He just listened as she whispered Jimmy's name and the never ending string of apologies she had wanted to tell her husband herself. Amelia was thankful to the angel for that. No words could help her grieving. She'd lost her soulmate. After trying for so long to help him, Jimmy slipped through her fingers and it hurt. It felt like someone had carved out her very soul and in a way that was exactly what happened.

When they pulled away, Dean held a hand out to Amelia. She stared at it and Dean wiggled his fingers.

"We'll give you a ride home," the Winchester promised. Amelia stared at Dean's hand, shaking her head.

"I...can't," she whispered. Dean frowned, glancing at Cas, but the angel ignored his gaze. Cas' eyes were fixed on Amelia. "Claire...I left her with my mother. I had to. I had to find myself. I had to find Jim-" Amelia broke off, her heart pulling painfully as Jimmy's name caught in her throat. "I promised I'd come back, but…" She looked to Cas. "I also promised to come back with him." Castiel reached out, swiping a tear from Amelia's cheek.

"I made a promise too," Cas told her. "I made a promise to Jimmy." Amelia watched the angel, watching the regret and guilt that sparked in the angels eyes. "I promised the day I took him that I'd protect his family and I've failed in honoring it. Amelia, please allow me to make it right now." Amelia licked her lips. She thought of all the postcards she had sent to her daughter and the endless days she spent missing her sweet Claire and husband. She couldn't do it any longer. She owed it to Jimmy. She owed it to Claire to at least make good on part of her promise. Just as Cas owed it to Jimmy to try to make good on his own promise.

Amelia took Dean's hand. A look of relief fluttered across Castiel's face and Amelia gave him a soft smile as Dean helped her up. She picked Castiel up off the ground and held him in her arms.

"For Jimmy," she whispered. Cas smiled up at her.

"For Jimmy," he agreed.

The sight Claire's grandmother's house made Amelia's stomach turn. She feared walking in there after being gone for so long. She feared that she'd walk in and Claire wouldn't want anything to do with her. Claire had the right to hate her.

A hand squeezed Amelia's hand and the widowed mother turned her head, staring at the angel at her side. Cas forced a smile and nodded at the door leading into the house.

"She's waiting for you," he told her. Amelia nodded nervously and opened the Impala door. Dean and the angels followed her and they walked up to the front door. Amelia hesitantly knocked on the door and the sound of feet tapping towards the door sent Amelia's heart in a fast patter. The door slowly squeaked open and a blond teenager appeared behind it.

"Claire," Amelia breathed. Claire just stared at her, mouth falling open slightly as she stared. Her eyes raked over the familiar face of Dean and her mother and then the semi-familiar face of Castiel. Amelia was right in her worries. Everyday Amelia didn't come home, Claire envisioned what she would say if her mother suddenly appeared back into her life. Claire had plotted out all the abuse perfect to shout at her mother. She had told herself that she was ready and that she was going to make sure her mother knew how much Claire despised her. Standing in the doorway though with her actual mother there was way different than what she had envisioned. She had neglected to realize how much the relief and love of finally having her mother back would affect her. Claire couldn't stop herself. She lunged into Amelia's arms, hugging her tight. Amelia hugged back in relief, holding Claire tight as she whispered sorrys into the girl's blond hair. Tears streamed from both of their eyes and it was a long few minutes before they finally broke apart and went inside.

"Where's your grandmother?" Amelia asked as she took a seat on the couch. Dean was standing off to the side and the angels had each taken a spot on a rocking chair with an afghan draped over it. Claire's face fell a little and she nodded towards the stairs leading to the other room in the house.

"Bed," Claire stated. "She's been...sick." Amelia bit her lip nervously. She wanted to ask what Claire meant by sick, but it was Claire's turn to ask the questions. "Why are you with Dean Winchester?" she questioned. Dean raised a brow at her.

"You remember me?" he questioned. Claire scoffed.

"How could I forget?" She looked towards the angels on the rocking chair then, eyes finding their way to Castiel's. "I remember you, Winchester, almost as much as I remember him," she said, nodding at Cas. "You've changed a lot by the way," she told the angel. Castiel looked at himself.

"Yes, a witch's and...superior force's doing," Cas explained.

"Is my dad still in there?" Claire asked suddenly. Amelia opened her mouth to answer herself, but Castiel beat her to it.

"No, he's not. He hasn't been for a long time," Castiel explained. "He's at peace. He's in Heaven." Multiple emotions filtered through Claire's features. She opened her mouth, but shut it quickly, glancing at her mother in the corner of her eye.

"Thanks for bringing my mom back," she told the angel. Castiel stared at her, knowing that there was plenty of other things Claire wanted to say to him other than that. Instead of mentioning it, Castiel nodded at her curtly. Claire turned her gaze to Dean then.

"Where's your brother?" she questioned, remembering that there had been two Winchesters the last time they met.

"At home with the rest of our family," Dean told her. Claire's frown grew and rage returned to her eyes.

"Family? So what? You destroy my family, but you guys get to have your own?"

"Claire!" Amelia shouted.

"Well, it's true, Mom!" Claire cried. "I've spent so long in this house with grandma, waiting for you and Dad. I started losing hope and then Grandma got sick. I thought…" Claire took a shaky breath. "I thought I was going to end up alone. I thought I was going to lose my entire family…" Amelia quickly draped her arms around her daughter, holding Claire as she started to cry.

"I'm so sorry, Claire. It's not going to happen again. I'm not leaving ever again. We'll start over and everything will be okay." Claire sniffled against her mother's shoulder, her tears still falling, but much slower than before. "I miss him, Mom," Claire cried. "I wish…I wish I could just know that he's okay."

Cas watched and listened to the mother and daughter silently, turning his back on them after a few seconds. He tiptoed out of the room, unseen by the others and stood in the hall. There were pictures on the walls. The pictures were of Jimmy's family. An image of Jimmy and Amelia in the hospital was the centerpiece of the many pictures. In Jimmy's arms was Claire as a baby, bundled up in a pink baby blanket. Cas glanced around himself, making sure no one had followed him. When sure he was alone, Cas looked up towards the ceiling.

"Father," he whispered. "I need a favor."

This takes place before *SEASON 10 SPOILER ALERT* Amelia is taken by Tamiel and before Claire's grandmother dies and she's forced to go into foster care. Angel Heart really punched me in the feels.