... and the calm before the storm.

Netflix Belongs to Black Mirror Bandersnatch... or was it the other way around?

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Stefan sat in his living room watching the TV show that hosted experts in different fields of expertise and awaited the part when the game master would come

out to rate the latest December games. He'd been alerted by Colin that Bandersnatch would be rated on the show, and that Thakur thought it would either make or break the game's success. In actuality, Stefan knew that the rating, like everything else, was up to the writer; and having gotten somewhat used to Pax's way of nurturing him like a mother (if, sometimes, by force) over the last few weeks while waiting for the review, he somewhat suspected she'd give the game a decent rating; Likely, a perfect one.

In the meantime, as he watched the TV show rate race horses before the games, Stefan attempted to humor his dad with his company. He by no means found it any easier to forget the sight of his dad's lifeless eyes staring at him from the top of his dresser, but Pax had pointed out that trying to cut him out of his life entirely was hurting both of them; and that if he truly wanted to correct his mistakes (a term that felt far too trivial for his taste) from the show, he would work toward fixing their relationship. After all, it's what his mother would have wanted; and that was what really convinced him to risk his company - that, and Pax's promise to stop him if he suddenly went insane and tried to murder him.

Pax popped a piece of Christmas fudge in his mouth for him and was rambling something about how television had been made completely irrelevant in the future by things like something called the internet and companies like Netflix. He really wasn't sure what to think about her take on other fictional universes and Netflix's treatment of them, but he tried to see it from her point of view and how it was likely no different than how he viewed his library. And speaking of... no, actually he didn't want to think about it. He had enough problems without adding the fictional stories from his fictional universe to the mix. Instead, he noted how Pax's typing into his line of vision made it difficult to see past to the TV.

"Five, stars out of five." Said the game master on the Telly, "Bandersnatch truly is the perfect game."

"Brilliant job, Stefan!" Laughed his dad; Stefan noted that it was the first time he'd seen him laugh in a long time. He cracked a bit of a smile that didn't even feel forced as he saw his dad beam at him with pride from the opposite couch.

"Your mother would be proud. It was from her stuff that you found your inspiration, wasn't it?" His dad asked, but turned his attention back to what the game master was saying about Bandersnatch being the perfect game before receiving a reply.

"It truly explores the concept of free will; and the arc where the playable charcter interacts directly with the player is simply outstanding. A masterpiece to be explored." Praised the game master.

Stefan let out a sigh. So that was that. He thought he should feel a bit happier than he did at the game's success, but it was harder when you knew none of it was real anyway. But it was done, and now he had to face the reality that the ending to his own story had come.

"I think I'll head to bed." He told his dad.

"But you haven't heard all he has to say!"

"I don't need to. He's already given the rating."

"You're sure?"

"I'm tired."

"Well, goodnight then, Stefan."

Stefan felt the urge to go over and hug his dad; he didn't know how this night would end, or what would happen after the ending. But he hadn't done that for years - not since his mother died.

"Goodnight dad." He said instead, and left the room. "I love you." He whispered just loud enough for his dad to hear as he turned and made a break for the hall.

#That SO did not count. Go give your father a hug, boy.# the writer typed.

That was far less awkward. And anyway, if I did that after all this time, not only would he think I'd gone soft, he'd take me straight to see my psychiatrist.

I think he would have loved it. And he doesn't think you're 'soft' Stefan.#

If you force me to hug him, I will do everything in my non-existent power to give myself another existential crisis; and trust me, that will not be hard.

In the other room, just under his breath, Stefan heard his dad mutter "I love you too, son." Stefan smiled, and covered the distance of the hall to his bedroom.

Once he opened the door, Stefan noticed a package on his bed left by his dad. He picked it up and acknowledged that it was addressed to him from Colin.

The note on the package read:

Once you manage to get yourself out of the hole, care to dive down another one?

Stefan opened the package: it was a copy of Colin's latest game Nohzedyve (4 stars). Stefan couldn't help but smirk at the game's cover, which depicted the playable character diving headfirst into a deep hole. Aside from the game, there was a small container full of square drugs stamped with black lions from Colin's wife, Kitty (had they even met in this timeline?); which he promptly flush - throw away. *Flush*ed down the toilet. (#You didn't really think I'd promote drug use in my T rated fic, did you?# . . . . you forced me to take them in the last ending! #Be Quiet, boy.#)

On the back of the note, Stefan noticed a tiny ink handprint; which undoubtedly belonged to their young daughter, Pearl. That troubled Stefan a bit. He severely hoped he could save little Pearl Ritman from his fate that he had seen fulfilled in the episode on his computer. The lighthearted mood he'd found himself in for most of the night turned sour as he remembered the reality he was faced with. Both his, Pearl's, and his whole universe's fate would all depend on what happened tonight; Which brought him right around to the issue at hand. How was this ending going to end?

#Well, Stefan - You've had a chance to think it through, and Bandersnatch is now complete; Are you ready to finally be rid of this whole nightmare?# the writer asked him.

Stefan laid back on his bed and closed his eyes. He remembered how, not too long ago, he'd been pinned to this bed by what he feared was a malevolent demon. A lot seemed to have changed since then - and yet, nothing at all. He was still under the complete and total control of the author of his reality, and nothing truly meant anything because nothing in his reality was even real.

Aside from that (as if it weren't disheartening enough on its own), he couldn't help but wonder what would happen once Pax stopped writing. Would he cease to exist? Did he even exist now? If his existence, insofar as he had one, depended on the viewers; would anyone read Pax's work, and would reading it be enough? What could he even hope to achieve if they did read it? He felt the hopelessness and uncertainty of his situation start to seep through his thoughts like sewage.

Worse than all of this, Stefan had found in the course of events that he had killed - his own father no less, and the man who'd just given him Christmas gifts - in another life. Could he live with himself having that knowledge? Could he ever truly trust himself around them ever again? He feared that, once he inevitably got to the bottom of the dark reality that was fictionality, he would go insane. And worse, because nothing mattered because it was fake, he feared that nothing could convince him to stop if he turned back to his murderous ways. After all, why would it matter if he killed a few people? Assuming anything happened in his world after the ending at all...

#All fears which I can do away with now.# the writer offered.

Stefan thought about it. He remembered his own bloodied hands that had murdered his family and friends. And he came to a decision.

"No." He said out loud.

There was a long pause. A very long pause.

#Stefan, are you absolutely sure?#

"Yes."

#Stefan... I can't keep writing this forever.#

"I didn't ask you to."

#Stefan why?#

You know why."

#Those murders were not you! You are not responsible, and as such should not have to be punished for something you didn't do. Especially not with something like this - the very denial of your existence is not a humane punishment for anyone! Don't do this to yourself.#

Maybe I'm not to blame for their deaths. Maybe I am. But someone has to take responsibility for my actions; and if I don't do it, who will? Maybe it doesn't even matter whether I killed someone or not in a fictional universe, but it matters to me; and if I don't stay true to my morals, what have I got left?

#WHY does it matter to you?! Your life has no meaning, there is no reason for you to have to distinguish between right and wrong! What does it matter if you killed a person? or 3? Or 10?! It doesn't, Stefan! It doesn't matter. Why make yourself suffer if you don't have to?!#

Does it matter to you?

#What do you mean?#

You know.

#Its not the same for me, Stefan. I am not fictional; I'm a real person. Of course what I do in real life matters, so if I had killed someone it would be wrong; because it actually happened. But nothing you do really happens so it can't possibly matter.#

Then why do you care what I pick? And anyway, why should it matter to you either? What is to dictate what is right and what is wrong in life?

#...Not everyone agrees on a moral standard, or even if there is one... but that doesn't mean that one don't exist, or that there isn't one that is true and worth following.#

So what? The Bible?

#I didn't mean to bring my religion into this, but sure. That is the moral standard I believe to be true and yes, according to it murder is wrong, so I don't do it. The Bible has a standard that doesn't change from person to person - which is the only way to have a universal standard that isn't dependent on the whims of human thought and emotion; which is partly why I hold to it. But anyway, I'm not the one we're discussing. You are not to blame for the deaths, and they don't matter anyway, so what's the problem? You were just saying earlier that you didn't know if you could live with the knowledge that a version of you had murdered people, or if you could trust yourself around them again; so what changed?#

My life may just be fictional, but it is as real as it gets for me. I am thinking of what the right thing to do would be if it WERE real - and maybe you don't agree with me, but I feel guilty and responsible for what I, even if it was a different version of me that I'm merely based on, did. And even if I am not truly to blame, that doesn't mean there should be no consequences for my actions. I want to take responsibility for what I did, and so I want to remember everything.

#You want to punish yourself.#

Murderers don't deserve happy endings.

#Stefan, that is so stupid and I can't let you do that.#

I also don't want to forget you.

#I know for a fact that I am not essential to your happiness; and You remembering me goes hand in hand with the reality of your nonexistence, and I won't make you face that. Remembering me is not an option.#

In other words, me forgetting isn't an option either, it's a mandate.

#If it is what will make you happiest in the long run, then yes. I have obligations to fulfill too you know. I could just snap my fingers and make everything perfect; But I won't, because even I have boundaries I can't overstep.#

Which are?

#Plausability and my morals, mainly. I could sit here and pound my fists into my keyboard (actually it's an iPhone, but... nevermind) and see what happened, but it wouldn't be worth anything to anyone; not to the readers of my work or to me.#

I thought my world wasn't worth anything?

#Well, I still found it worthwhile to write. Stories help us learn about the real world, and make us think about our own lives and how to make them meaningful. In that sense, they do matter.#

Then wouldn't it matter that the main Character upholds a sense of morality?

#Not necessarily, because you can still learn from an immoral character; but I suppose if you were to be somewhat of a role model it would be important... which is what a good hero ought to be. But you already do that, and I don't hold you responsible for what you did in the TV show; It's not the same you. So holding you accountable would be wrong.#

So you are willing to just ignore what happened? Because I am not. I've made my decision and I DO NOT want my memory wiped!

#Stefan, I promised the readers a happy ending! It says it right in the title! I can't let you go through with this now.#

Why do you care what the readers think about it?

#The same reason you care that Bandersnatch gets a high rating; vanity. But aside from that, I promised a good ending, and it'd be an affront to my integrity if I didn't go through with it.#

So in other words, you're made out to be just as powerless as I am.

#Yes, by my own principles.#

There was a long pause between the two.

Let them choose. Stefan proposed.

#Who?#

You know. The readers.

#Don't be ridiculous.#

No, really; Let the readers choose the ending. This is a choose your own adventure story, is it not?

#Stefan, I will not cast your fate upon the goodwill of strangers.#

But you wouldn't be, would you? You would still dictate the ending; just according to the reader's choice.

#What choice?#

Do I forget everything that's happened so far, leaving me in a state of bliss with a perfect game of Bandersnatch to my name and no memory of being a fictional murderer - or do I remember what happened and deal with the consequences of my actions and knowledge?

#No way. There is no way we're doing this. Its not fair to you! For you possibly to have to suffer because someone held you to a crime unjustly is wrong.#

Like I said, someone has to be responsible for what I did to preserve that justice. That someone, if it should be anyone, is me.

#But those Stefans were already punished in their own timelines!#

But is there really a punishment that can repay what's been done? Murder is a wrong I can never repay! I deserve this.

#You really do need the Bible.#

Even if I were to be forgiven, it wouldn't mean there wouldn't be consequences!

#IT WASN'T YOU!#

Let the reader choose! This has gone on for far too long, and you are not responsible for their choice by merely giving the readers an option to choose immorally - It would be on their own heads, not yours! So just give them the choice, and let's get this over with.

Stefan opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Finally Pax typed a reply.

#Fine. I'll let them choose. But I hope they're happy with themselves if they condemn an inocent man to your fate.#

And I hope they can live with themselves if they let a guilty man go free. But get on with it already - it's only fictional anyway.

So, dear reader, it's comes down to you.

If you want to condemn Stefan to a life where he knows that he is a murderer and a fictional figment of imagination that has no free will,

Turn to Chapter 7: 'Frosties'

If you want to let Stefan forget everything that's happened so far, leaving him happily ever after in a state of bliss with a perfect game of Bandersnatch to his name and no memory of being a fictional murderer (if he even could be called that, all things considered),

Turn to Chapter 6: 'Sugar Puffs'

I suggest you think carefully about your choice, reader. This one is on your own head, not mine - even if the consequences are only fictional.

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Aaaand... I still have to actually write those two chapters - Yay me. I plan to post them both at the same time, so keep in tune. Also, I'm sorry that my philosophical debate about morality, existence, and free will took Sooooo loooooong, but I wanted to give you as much material as possible to justify your choice, whichever you pick. I also feel guilty that I've put so much of myself into the story, but I felt justified doing it given the circumstances - my apologies if you found it dull or corny, but it seemed to be as close to honesty as I could get. Good luck, and choose well!

Vale!

-CrypticScribbles (heck, I'll just keep the user.)

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