It wasn't everyday that L found himself at a lost.
Correction, L rarely ever finds himself lost, or confused, perplexed, bemused, discombobulated.
L set down his sugary tea and nodded to himself as he mused, disregarding the repulsed look that Light sent his way, as if the detective is a lunatic and a disease that had to be avoided at all costs.
Discombobulate, that one is quite the word, it's amusing too: to confuse, disconcert, upset or frustrate, sometimes in an amusing way. That last part is rather fitting, this current situation is ridiculous: the world's greatest detective, able to tackle all manner of complicated and bizarre cases in the way that no one had ever seen before is utterly thrown off by none other than one eighteen-year-old boy, who may or may not be the world's greatest mass murderer.
Well, anyway, it's not everyday that L found himself discombobulated, and when he does, up to three things could happen.
One, he might get depressed.
Two, his queer tendencies might be more drastic than usual.
Three, he would find it fit to cause more misery on his favorite victim, aka Light.
Or, there is a fourth option, all of the above.
This unusual occurrence didn't happen overnight, rather, it had been a while. Ever since the time three months ago, when Light's memories have fled him. It'd gotten worse ever since then, not the three things but the confusion that L had revolving around the teen. To put it more specifically in two words: sudden changes.
There was not one, but two changes that L had observed in him.
The first was easily the transition between the Light that had memories and the Light that does not.
For the second, there is something stranger revolving around it.
If the detective were to think about it, he would say that the change have happened while Light had been in the bathroom two weeks and five days ago, that one time were he had screamed while staring at the mirror as if he had seen a ghost.
L certainly hoped it wasn't Bloody Mary or something, he'd had enough of supernatural beings after the mention of death gods.
No, he definitely isn't afraid of ghosts, it'll simply be troublesome if he had to deal with them in the investigation.
Anyway, back to the point, the second transition in Light had been slightly more subtle that the first, where the teen had begun to behave strangely after that point in time.
Light said that he was tired and wanted to go back to sleep that day and he did went to bed. The thing is, he didn't actually sleep, L could tell from his breathing and the lack of the dreaming stage while he lay there. In fact, the teen had slept even less than L had let him ever since that day.
This is a concern because Light did not let go of any opportunity to catch up on his sleep, L knew that from the way that he is excessively obsessed with health and his looks, he probably did not want to end up looking like a ghost like the insomniac.
L speculated that it had something to do with the strange increase in his nightmares, where it had occurred on an average of once every two days. That was during the first week. Later, Light had taken to the new sleeping schedule of three hours per day, effectively adding eye bags and faint shadows onto his face, as well as a slight decrease in emotional control and focus.
That didn't hamper the investigation, though, not at all.
In addition to that, Light had become more distant and less courteous to everyone around him, which seemed to come as a shock to them except for L, who is only mildly perturbed by that.
L didn't miss the worried glances that Soichiro throw his son every now and then. Matsuda also did the same, but on a less frequent scale. Aizawa seemed puzzled and slightly irritated at first at the lack of respect, then he took it in stride and seemed to forget about it until he had to talk to Light again. Mogi's reaction only consisted of the widening of his eyes, that was all.
The detective also noticed Light's strange tendencies to glance at the mirrors. That was at first before he realized that he is doing the same to every form of reflective surface. Not long after that, he avoided them like the plague, then covering up all the mirrors in their room with thin blankets that he had dug out of the closet.
L was stunned at first, staring at him while he did that without a word. It was really, really strange and bewildering because the detective is under the impression that Light is in love with his reflection, given his vanity.
Never, at any point did he ever take the blankets down to check his features, not even while brushing his hair, one thing that L found Light enjoying during their first few days of having been chained together and during the surveillance.
Thinking back on it, L thought that he is perhaps even frightened of whatever he saw in the mirror. When L asked him about it, he just clamped up and went silent for the entire day, another puzzling behavior as it differs slightly from the usual. The action is the same, but the mood that accompanied it is not of childish annoyance but of sullenness, with a hint of fear.
L was having a thought that Light had developed some sort of psychological illness, or that it had been present for a while but have gone undetected.
"Light-kun."
Light twitched, then turned to face him wearily, "What, Ryuuzaki?"
"Could you pass the sugar?"
Light stared at him, "It's just next to your cup, Ryuuzaki."
"Yes," L said in a tone that implied that he's an idiot, "I can't reach it, however, so would you do the common courtesy of passing that bowl of sugar?"
"Don't you have enough for your tea?" Light grumbled, his body language indicated that he was going to ignore it and return to his work.
"Yes," the detective said again in that subtle 'duh' voice, "But I don't need it for the tea."
Light glared at him, annoyed, "What the hell do you need it for, then?"
L stared at him for a few long seconds, before saying, "I'm going to take the sugar cubes… and eat it."
Light stared at him in equal parts apprehension and disgust, pushing the bowl of sugar such that it slides across the table to him "You're insane."
"Not as much as you are," L muttered, tossing a cube in his mouth and stated with a crunch, "Is Light-kun ready to see a shrink to assess your mental health?"
"No, thanks," the teen said, turning back to his typing, "My mental health is fine."
"Perhaps that is what Kira thinks," L mentioned, licking his fingers. Meanwhile, Light's fingers had stopped as he stared stonily at the screen. "Perhaps Light-kun is having issues in his mind, where he is actually Kira when he thinks he is not."
Light's fingers curled up, turning into fists as L said with a little smile, "Perhaps a visit to the doctor is due?"
What L got as a reply is a hard punch to the face.
It took over ten minutes of yelling and pulling from everyone among the Taskforce to stop the fight, five minutes of harsh lecture from Soichiro to Light as well as L (the latter wasn't so pleased about that), and five minutes of him asking his son whether he is okay.
Light apologized, said he's fine and mentioned that he'd rather spend more time to crack the case than to mull over the issue between him and the detective.
With that, it was almost like the fight had never happened, save for a couple of bruising on the both of them as well as the heightened tension in the air that was not there before.
That was another thing that L didn't get.
The sudden desire, the need, the zeal that possessed Light in his pursuit of the case. Sometimes, he even offered to stay up when he wasn't pretending to sleep to work on the case alongside the insomniac. It was puzzling and L asked why he had poured such an effort into it.
"I want this case to be over as soon as possible," he said, "I want to clear my name and also for there to be as little deaths as possible that would be caused by Kira."
He detected idealism in the last part of what was said but the rest doesn't fit into the puzzle.
Before that incident with the mirror, Light had never expressed such a need to solve the case, not to the point of sacrificing his time that could be used for his vanity and especially, sleeping. Light didn't skip out on eating, strangely. Because from what L had experienced and was familiar with, logically, Light would miss out on eating as well.
Unease bit through him and the mark showed up on his thumb.
He hoped that Light won't end up like that case.
L was tempted to ask but he didn't question anymore, because there are too many similarities. If that was peculiar, Light didn't show it. Instead, he went back to his work, until three in the morning when he couldn't take it anymore and demanded to go to bed, another inconsistency in this new pattern of behavior.
One similar feature is that they have too much pride to admit that anything is wrong, Light and him, with the most likely possibility that there is something wrong.
L tore his gaze away from the teen, who had strangely not noticed anything. As far as L had observed, the teen always seemed to know when he was being watched and would always react as if the detective was a giant green bacteria.
Not this time.
While he worked, L eyed the mug of coffee that have been left unattended beside him and an idea slowly forms in his head, spurred by the three evils sparked by his confusion. L glanced at the brunette, who's scrolling through the articles at an impressive speed and most definitely blind to all other sensation around him.
L smiled to himself in satisfaction.
Carefully, he reached his cuffed hand over the table and hooked a long finger around the handle.
L glanced at him again, where Light still doesn't notice a thing.
He pulled the mug towards him, the cup sliding across the wooden surface with barely a sound, it was the chains that had let out a small jiggle from his movement. L checked once again if Light was aware that his coffee was being stolen and was silently thrilled to find that he was too focused on his work to know about it.
L smirked to himself and picked up the bowl of sugar that he had apparently lost interest in, because seriously, L losing interest in sugar? Never. Unless he is plagued by the three evils and Light is the culprit. That warrants a little payback. If L doesn't get his sugar because of that little punk, then he'll be the one to get it.
One by one, he dropped the pristine white cubes into the coffee, admiring the little sparkles set off by the grains that were compressed into the adorable compact shape as they tumbled into the brown liquid and disappeared from sight.
Once L had mixed half the sugar from the bowl into the drink, he grabbed his teaspoon and stirred the drink up as silently as possible. That probably didn't matter as Light didn't appear to notice anything. If he heard, he would think that was for L's tea and wouldn't care enough about it to look.
L pushed the mug back to where it was and waited patiently for the best reaction he could ever get.
Ten minutes later, Light finally reached over to take a sip of his coffee.
L was internally jumping in joy when the boy's eyes bugged out in the most hilarious way he could ever imagine. The shock made Light take an involuntary swallow and he set the mug down with a slam as he choked, coffee flying from his mouth and landing everywhere it was able to touch.
All the occupants of the room turned to stare at him as he gagged as if he was about to die. Light was fumbling about clumsily, wanting so badly to get rid of that disgusting taste from his mouth and throat but was unable to.
When he finally recovered enough to stop his persistent hacking, he set the most toxic glare anyone had ever seen upon L and screamed, "YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"
L stared back at him innocently, "Yes?"
"Ryuuzaki!" Light roared, "I know you did it, you piece of shi-"
"Light-kun's coffee was too bitter," L said in response, "I was simply trying to sweeten it up."
"You wanted to kill me!"
"Now that's just dramatic."
If anyone had ever seen a face turn lividly dark, they would say Light's did.
"I'll show you dramatic!" He snarled.
"Light!" Soichiro shouted in warning, anger marring his face as well.
Light didn't seem inclined to listen, his eyes glittering with fury. L stared back at him, if Light hadn't been blinded by rage, he would have seen the slight change in his expression as he did.
L hopped off his chair, Light followed, standing up with such force that his chair rolled back and hit Matsuda's desk, where the other man flinched at the little bump.
As he stormed towards L, the others stood, ready to break the two up when L did the unexpected.
The detective turned and walked away.
The teen was surprised, startled even, his steps faltering at his opponent's sudden retreat and fury was beginning to give way to curiosity. Light ignored that, insisting to himself that L had some weird plan in mind and the retreat is a ruse to get him to let his guard down before he strikes for real.
"Wha-"
"It appears that Light-kun is in need of a change of clothes," L interrupted. This made Light pause, looking down to see that his favorite cream sweater is indeed ruined by trails and spots of brown. It was beginning to smell like roasted coffee as well, it wasn't a bad smell but Light didn't want that on him.
He shook the distraction away and looked up with a glower, "What is your deal?"
The detective stared back at him silently, the dim light that he is in making him look solemn. Light shook that thought away as well, as L muttered, "Similarities."
"What?" It wasn't hard to tell from his tone that he is confused, as well as believing that whatever L is doing is nothing but a dirty trick.
Light was startled when L suddenly started walking, dragging him away by the cuff. "We'll be back once we are done," L announced to the Taskforce, before disappearing out the door with the angry teen in tow.
Soichiro stared after them worriedly, while Aizawa stated more to assure himself than the older man, "They're probably not up to anything, don't worry about it."
Needless to say, nobody believed that.
L stood silently by the door as he watched Light rummage through the closet with more force than was necessary, occasionally mumbling to himself whether he should just take a shower, as well as other things.
"Fucking insane-" Light growled under his breath as he went through his clothes on the hangers, "Stupid bitch-"
"I heard all that," L stated blandly.
Light tossed a glare over at him, "And why do you care?"
The detective shrugged, "Light-kun seemed terribly mad."
"You think?"
"Light-kun isn't even looking at his clothes."
The teen snarled at him and snatched a random piece of clothing from the closet, it happened to be his black cotton shirt, that should match with his trousers well. Light let that fleeting need for coordination take charge of his mind for a moment, before it was replaced with a regular pulse of rage. He roughly tugged the dirtied shirt over his head and began to put the shirt on.
"I guess I could apologize for the prank," L said but it sounded more like he was considering to himself.
Light glared at him, pausing at the fourth button, "For trying to kill me with sugar."
"Sugar doesn't kill," L said incredulously.
"Diabetes does," Light growled, tossing his shirt into the hamper, "I hope you die from that soon."
"That isn't very nice."
"And when have you ever been nice?"
"Good point," L considered, "But I haven't been mean either, besides, that statement is very Kira-like."
If Light was angry, the look he had on his face indicated he was beyond that point at that moment, "Everything I do just points to me being Kira, doesn't it!?"
Before L could say anything, Light continued shouting as he slammed the closet door, "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not fucking Kira!"
"You could be," L responded with an almost smile.
Light was about to yell at him, then realized what's he's alluding to and bellowed, "Would you be serious for a fucking second you demented freak!"
"I realize Light-kun could take a joke."
"Light-kun is not in the mood right now!" He roared, looking like he wanted to strangle the man.
"I am quite amused."
"GAH!"
L let a chuckle slip out and stopped when he witnessed Light rubbing at his temples like it hurt. It wasn't the first time he had seen it, where the teen does that occasionally while they were working or eating. It only told about the consequence of him not sleeping and that would only get worse.
"Is catching Kira really that important to you?"
"What?"
L set a scrutinizing stare on him, "If that is really the case, we wouldn't be arguing about silly things right now and would have been back to work on it a long time ago."
Light stared at him as if he had grown another head while he asked, "Tell me, what is the real reason for you forgoing sleep?"
For a second, the teen looked like he had been struck, before chuckling, "The hell are you talking about, Ryuuzaki? Of course catching Kira is important to me."
L gave him a disbelieving stare, "Hand."
Light rolled his eyes and held out his arm, hardly even flinching when L slapped the cuffs back onto his wrist with more force that was necessary. He didn't expect L to give the chain a hard tug right after, causing him to stumble forward until he was almost nose-to-nose with the detective.
The teen tried to twist away but the detective held fast as he said roughly, "Look into my eyes, Light-kun, and say that again."
"The fuck-"
"Convince me that it's really about catching Kira and not about something else."
Light glared at him and L could see that his anger is faltering, fueled by another stronger emotion behind it, just a little push and he would be able to see it reflected in the brunette's eyes.
"Is catching Kira really that important to you, Light-kun?" L asked, tilting his head slightly.
Light stared back into his eyes, undeterred by the challenge as he growled, "Yes."
"Enough to even forgo sleep?"
"Yes."
"That was a lie," L said, his grip tightening.
He witnessed the beginnings of a panic on Light's face but the latter kept it masked as much as he could, while he demanded, "Let me go."
L paid no attention to his words, just stared intensely, thinking that if he could cause the other's calm to shatter then he would be able to find the answers.
"It's none of your business," Light said, pulling on his arm, "Let go!"
"It's none of your business, L."
The detective gasped at the sudden flash of memory, that line that was delivered to him with deep loathing and Light took that opportunity to escape his grasp, casting him a look that conveyed, 'what the hell is wrong with you?'
"We should return," L stated, "They will be wondering where we went to."
Light gave him a strange look but seemed too shaken to ask anything before walking off immediately. The detective followed him out without a single word.
As they walked down the hallway, L said, "Light-kun should rest more."
The teen turned, "Why should I listen to you?"
"It is detrimental to your health," he continued, "If Light-kun is underperforming because of the lack of sleep, it would hinder the investigation as a consequence."
"So that is your ulterior motive," Light said, "You are worried about the progress of the case."
It was silent as they walked through the empty hallway. It was when the two reached the elevator, while Light pressed the button for the sixth floor when L spoke.
"Perhaps," he muttered.
Light huffed, "Figures."
L turned to glance at him at that.
They didn't talk again for the rest of the day.
A loud beeping assaulted his ears.
Startled, Light opened his eyes, finding himself sitting on a bench on a pavement. Ahead of him is a stretch of familiar road that he remembered passing a thousand times when he was in high school but not quite. There are a couple things that didn't quite make sense.
He didn't remember there being a street in the place of where the old shops are. He didn't remember there being a bench where he is sitting, or the vast expanse of giant screens on the buildings in front of him like there are on Shibuya Square. And across the tarmac in front of him, instead of cars, there were people of all shapes and sizes and all sorts of background, walking in different directions and making the scene look disorientating. He turned behind him and saw another stretch of path, this one with cars on it. That was where he had heard the beeping from, perhaps from an annoyed driver at the slow traffic.
Light remained seated, not sure where he is supposed to go and where he is supposed to be.
With a lack of anything else to do, he looked up at the screen and caught the news broadcast on channel 9, the lady newscaster, donned in a beige suit jacket and wearing way too much powder spoke about advancement of the train system and the pursuit to add more rail lines. Light was not interested in that. Instead, his eyes were attracted to the text rolling across the blue line on the bottom of the screen.
'Crime rates at a record-breaking zero percent.'
He gaped, unsure what he is seeing is actually happening.
Light rubbed his eyes but the words have disappeared off-screen. So he waited and it showed up again a few minutes later, confirming that that is indeed a fact.
"You must be kidding me," he uttered in disbelief.
"I don't think it's that funny," a voice said beside him.
Light spun around in surprised, he didn't know when someone had came to sit on the bench next to him, or that this person looks and sounds exactly just like him. Spooked, Light shot up to his feet, staring at his almost lookalike who wore a smirk on his face.
He was exactly as Light had remembered him, red hair, red eyes and pale skin. He was wearing the same exact outfit that Light wore, beige jacket and brown trousers. The man was leaning back on the wooden bench, his hands behind his head and his right leg crossed languidly over the other, the perfect image of 'relaxed'.
A light breeze blew through the area and Light had to resist the urge to fix his hair as habit bid him to. A cold chill permeated through him when the man reached up to ruffle his hair in the same manner that Light always did. While he does that, the clouds overhead passed over the sky, blocking out the sun and covering the area in shadows. And when that happened, the red eyes glowed.
"Well?" The man asked, startling Light, "It's what you want, isn't it?"
"How did you-" Light faltered, as he latched onto a more pressing question, "Who the hell are you?"
There was a flash of teeth as he gave a maddening grin and asked, "Whatever do you mean, Light?"
"Stop calling me 'Light'," the teen glared, "I mean what I asked."
The man sighed, as if this is bothersome, he adjusted his position so that he sat, leaning forward as he said, "As I've already said, Light. I am you."
He smirked, while Light stared at him, "And you are me, we're the same, Light."
The teen stuttered, remembering the reflections and growled, "No, we're not."
The man stood and Light backed away, stopping when a passer-by brushed by behind him and shot him an annoyed glance. He turned back and the man smirked.
"If we're not, then how else would I know this is what you have envisioned?"
"What vision?" Light asked, almost afraid that he knew the answer.
The man spread his arms, his open palms facing the heavens, "This, Light. The perfect world, a world without crime, one where the innocents are able to walk freely without any fear."
Before Light could escape, he grabbed onto his shoulders and spun him around forcefully, "Isn't this what you've wished for?"
The words are still rolling across the screen and the man continued to speak by his ear, "Isn't it your desire to create this world? A world without crime?"
"I… yes," he blurted.
He felt a smile curve behind his ear.
"But it's impossible," Light said, brushing him off to face him, "It's only an ideal concept. The perfect world doesn't exist, it's useless to pursue it."
He chuckled, "Tsk, tsk, Light. Where has your ambition gone?"
Annoyed, Light snapped, "What?"
"This isn't like you, Light," he said, "It isn't like you to give up, just like that. The Light we know is relentless, passionate and fearless. You are a sorry excuse for yourself."
His temper flared, "Excuse me?"
"Of course, I don't believe that," the man said, "You are lying."
Light paled, before his expression turned back to anger, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't even bother trying, Light," the man said, laughing, "We both know what's the truth here."
"Then what are you trying to say?"
"What if I told you that the ideal world is achievable?"
Light looked at him suspiciously and demanded, "How?"
The man smiled and his eyes seemed to glow bright red as he said, "Rid it of evil."
"Kill them?"
"Exactly my point, Light…"
Realization dawned on him and Light paled even more and he began to back away only for someone to crash into him. Light barely noticed it as he kept staring at the man.
"Wait, you, you're-"
"Exactly who you think I am, Light," the man laughed, "But that makes you too."
"No, no- That can't be…"
Kira's hand shot forward and grabbed him, pulling before he could escape into the crowd. Light struggled and called for help but no one seemed to care. It was like nothing is happening and the crowd continued walking.
"Don't get me wrong," Kira hissed, getting his attention, "They deserved to die, Light. Those low-lives, the criminals, the rotten part of the society. It was because of them that the innocents are made to suffer, when they should be walking free, with no fear from evil. They fucked up everything, Light and they are able to walk free."
"Isn't a safe world what you want for your family? For Sayu?" Kira's grip slowly loosened when it seemed like Light isn't going to run away, "And what of Father, working his fingers to the bone because of these rotten crooks. And what of Mother, Light? Managing the household on her own and waiting, always waiting for Father to come home."
Kira walked away, as Light stared after him, hanging onto every word, "The justice system is null and crooked. It needs to be rectified, it needs to be absolute, the rotten cannot get away with their crimes."
Light kept staring, understanding because this is what he'd always thought all along and uttered, "They need to be punished."
Kira turned to him, pleased. Fire danced in his eyes and his voice were thick with power, words coiling about Light's mind, "The perfect world, free of filth and crime is achievable only if we work together."
The red-haired man stepped towards him and this time, Light didn't step away.
Kira stopped right in front and him, "We can create this together, the perfect world," the words slithered into his ears.
Kira extended a hand in front of him, meant for Light to take it as he smiled kindly, "What do you say, Light?"
Light's eyes flickered to the hand, unease and doubt filled him at such words of promise. He hesitated, wondering if he should accept it. This is all exactly what he wants but he doesn't trust Kira quite yet. He looked into the face of the man who continued to smile invitingly.
"Join me, Light."
Light glanced at the hand and reached out.