CHAPTER 6

Another month went by with Matt and I barely seeing each other. We were like familiar ships that passed in the night. I started going into work a half hour later just so I could see him for a lousy 20 minutes when he came home after shift. He was still a man down on truck and didn't have enough faith in Christopher Herrmann to let him be acting Lieutenant in his absence. Chris was a good firefighter, but was a little too off the cuff when it came to officer duties for Matt's liking so he was picking up extra half shifts whenever it was necessary.

I was bogged down at work with the department budget and fiscal year reports, which kept me behind my desk and in front of my computer until 7:00 PM or later almost every night. I was beginning to hate my job, Matt's job and the whole situation. I guess parenthood wasn't meant to be, at least for right now. Too many other people needed us to do more important things besides trying to make a baby.

I sat at my desk, absentmindedly doodling cats and cups of tea on my large desk calendar and trying to remember what my husband looked like. My eyes were spinning and my head was throbbing, having been glued to my computer screen for the better part of the afternoon. I was suddenly startled out of my personal haze by the sound of my phone ringing.

"Hi, this is Madeleine Coventry. How can I help you?" I said it without even thinking.

"Coventry? I know we've barely seen each other lately, but did you divorce me when I wasn't looking?" The sound of Matt's voice on the other end brought a much needed smile to my face, in spite of my stupid little flub.

"Casey! Madeleine Casey! I'm sorry, baby...I was off in another world. What's up?"

"One guess…"

"As much as I love you, Lieutenant...you really need to get some new material that extends beyond a middle school mentality"

"You try hanging out with firefighters all day, every day for weeks at a time and see how mature you are! OK….how about this then….I managed to get out of a half shift, so I'll be home a little after 7:00 tonight and I'll be all yours for twelve hours." I felt my sarcasm rising at the same time I felt my heart lifting inside my chest. "Really, baby? Twelve whole hours?"

"Maddy…."

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry. I'm tired, overworked and I've been missing you." I sighed heavily into the phone, trying to make my frustration sound like fatigue.

"Same here, baby...so let's be thankful we have this time together, no matter how little it is."

"OK, you're right."

"I know you haven't eaten yet, so I'll pick up a pizza on the way home." I glanced at the silver plated clock on my desk that the hospital administrator gave me when I took over as department head. It said 6:45 PM. I hadn't eaten anything substantial since 11:00 this morning when Em gave me half of her bagel with melted cheese. "As long as it's pepperoni with extra cheese." My stomach rumbled as the words left my mouth.

"You got it, baby. See you in a little while. Love you." I hung up the phone and finished up the last column on my Excel spreadsheet before tidying up my desk. Lakeshore was not going to get another twelve hour day out of me, not tonight. I shut off my computer, grabbed my coat and headed for the door of my office. Just as I shut the lights off, the phone on my desk began to ring. I threw my stuff into one of the chairs in front of my desk and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" I dispensed with the usual phone etiquette formalities after hours. I heard someone on the other end sputter slightly before speaking. "Is this the social services department at Lakeshore Hospital in Chicago?" the voice asked. It was a woman's voice, soft and with the hint of an accent I couldn't place.

"Yes, it is. Can I help you?" More sputtering, then "Is this the department head?" I could feel my frustration returning. "Yes, this is Madeleine Casey, the department head. Can I help you?" A short pause ensued before she answered. "No, thank you anyway. I'm sorry to have bothered you." I still had the receiver held up to my ear as I heard the call disconnect. I dropped it back into its cradle, then picked up my things and locked the door and left the memory of the phone call behind me. I was headed for home, a pizza, the weekend and twelve glorious hours with my husband.

As I walked into the entry hall, I switched on the table lamp, tossed my keys into the glass bowl and quickly sifted through the mail. Nothing of great importance caught my attention, so I hung up my coat and headed upstairs to take a quick shower. I pulled on a pair of black leggings, Matt's Blackhawks jersey and pair of fuzzy socks. I picked up the picture of Matt and me on our honeymoon off of my nightstand, smiling at how happy we looked...and how warm. The brunt of the Chicago winter was upon us with its grey skies and seemingly endless snow flurries and looking at the picture of us on the beach made the chill I was feeling melt away.

"Maddy? I'm home, baby!" Matt's voice drifted upstairs as I heard the front door open and the familiar jingle of his keys. My face flushed and my heart starting racing, just like it used to do when I would see him in the hallway at school. His face would break into a huge smile when he caught sight of me and he'd hold out his hand for me so he could pull me aside for a quick kiss between classes. Even after more than twenty years, the excitement at the anticipation of seeing him hadn't faded. I put the picture back on the nightstand and bounded downstairs like an eager cocker spaniel who hadn't seen her master all day. I rounded the bottom of the stairs into the entry hall and could see Matt putting a pizza on the kitchen counter and turn to hang up his coat. He had barely gotten his coat on the hook and turned around when I ran into the kitchen and jumped into his arms. His hands held tight to my backside as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and covered his face with kisses.

"It's like living with a happy, little Pekingese!" he laughed, as I continued to bombard him.

"Oh, I am definitely happy...happy to see you. I'd almost forgotten what you look like. Damn, you're handsome." He sat me down on the counter next to the pizza, his fingertips softly tracing my face and his eyes looking deep into mine as he spoke.

"Sometimes when I look at you, I can't speak. It hits me out of nowhere just how beautiful you are and it overwhelms me to the point of not being able to string words together, at least none that make any sense...and I can't help wonder how I got so lucky that you're with me."

"Matthew…" My voice was barely above a whisper. He leaned in close, tucking a few stray hairs behind my ear before cupping my face in his hands. He pressed his soft, moist lips against mine, kissing me softly. His hands moved up underneath the jersey I was wearing until his arms were around my bare waist. His hands splayed across my back as his tongue moved deeper into my mouth until we were interrupted by the ring of the wall phone in the kitchen. Hardly anyone called the house number except for my father who still insisted that cell phones are dangerous. Matt pulled away from me to answer it.

"Hello? Yeah, she's here. Can I ask who's calling? OK, just a minute." He held the phone out to me. "Who is it?" I mouthed silently to him. "She would only say she was an old friend." said Matt. I swung my legs over to the other side of the counter and took the phone from Matt.

"Hello, this is Maddy. Who's this?"

"This is Audra...Audra McKenzie Walker." She said after an awkwardly extended pause. I ran through a quick list of all my friends inside my head, but could not remember anyone by that name.

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember anyone by the name of Audra. You said we were old friends? Where do we know each other from?" Another few seconds of silence passed before she spoke again.

"Forgive me. I must have the wrong number. I apologize for intruding." Click….buzzzzzz…..

"What was that all about?"

"I don't know. She said her name was Audra McKenzie something and that we were old friends. I told her that I don't remember an Audra and suddenly, she has the wrong number. Weird." Matt took the phone from my hand and hung it up.

"She must have the wrong Madeleine Casey. Let's eat. Would you grab us some wine?" He lifted me up by the waist and set me down on the floor. He carried the pizza into the living room while I gathered up paper plates, napkins, two wine glasses and a bottle of sangria from the fridge.

"Mmmmmmmm...pepperoni and double cheese...just like I asked for…." I said as I opened the pizza box and laid my eyes on all of its deliciousness. The scent of it wafted up to my nose and I was suddenly ravenous. Matt filled the wine glasses while I busied myself with filling my face with pepperoni pizza.

"Hungry?" Matt smirked.

"I haven't eaten since this morning, so shut it." I mumbled with a mouthful. "I like watching you eat, Maddy. It beats the hell out of watching you lose weight like you were a couple of months ago." He rubbed the calf of my outstretched leg and gave me one of those famous soft smiles that shows off his left dimple and melts my heart. I downed the last of the wine from my glass and laid back on the couch, draping my legs over Matt's lap.

"Oh. My. God. I feel like a beached blue whale." I groaned.

"Oh, no. Don't start that. We have a night off together for the first time in a couple of months and if you start saying you're fat, we'll never get naked."

"Oh….so you planned on us being naked together tonight?" He put his glass of wine on the table, turned his body to face me and grabbed both of my arms. His mouth covered mine almost instantly and he slowly lowered me down on the couch. His mouth never left mine as he positioned himself between my legs.

"It's been a while. My body aches for you, Maddy. I thought you'd feel the same way."

"I do, Matt. It's just that I've sort of been slacking off on the whole temperature taking thing lately. I've lost track of where I am in my cycle."

"Let's not get bogged down in all of that tonight, OK? I want this to be about the two of us wanting each other the way people do when they've loved each other their entire lives. No science, no pressure, no expectations. Just you and me."

"OK…" I whispered as happy tears spilled out of my eyes and down onto the couch. Despite what he had said earlier, I was the lucky one in this relationship. What I ever did to deserve this man, I will never know. He kissed me softly as his hands found their way back under the Blackhawks jersey and around my breasts and as my handsome firefighter husband began to make love to me, I thanked God for giving him to me.