...and he wants to scream, so he does, screams until his throat burns and his chest hurts, and then he continues screaming until he can't anymore. When he can't scream, he shatters a mirror like he's breaking a capsule, and when he realizes that he just broke Buccellati's mirror, that's when he finally cries.
His tears burn. His face is red as his suit. Why him?
And Fugo cries until he's angry and then he cries because he's angry, bitter tears. How could they do this to him? He trusted Buccellati but now he's dead, Abbacchio's dead, Mista's dead, Giorno's dead, Trish's dead, Narancia's dead, and they're all dead, all of them, so that's what you get for trusting the adults in your life.
He's always been the smart one, hasn't he? That's his thing, isn't it? He's smart and he's angry and he's angry because people forced him to be the smart one, angry because he trusts people and then they go and hurt him.
This is how things always end for him. He should have known.
And Fugo cries until he can't anymore, cries until he's not angry and he's not sad, just existent.
Fugo exists.
And then he's not angry at Buccellati anymore but he feels guilty that he was angry at Buccellati in the first place. It's not like he chose to die. If given the choice, most people would prefer to live. Buccellati didn't choose to abandon him. Someone else chose it for him without his input, without Fugo's input. Diavolo just decided it for him.
Fugo really hates it when bastards like that decide things for people.
And then he feels guilty because he chose not to go on the boat with the others and who knows, if he had stayed with the rest, maybe they wouldn't be dead right now. They might have died still but they might have lived.
He came back. In the end, he came back, but it wasn't enough. Diavolo killed Narancia and Fugo killed Diavolo, melted the skin right off his worthless face, revealed just how sick and disgusting the man really was, but it wasn't enough.
They died.
He didn't.
Fugo wonders if maybe he should have. Should he have? Shouldn't he know the answer to this? He's only useful for his intelligence, he should know-
No.
Buccellati told him otherwise. He appreciated his intellect but he didn't force him to be the smart one. That was his parents. He's not thankful for that, will never be thankful towards them, will never speak to them again. Buccellati accepted him for his faults, worked him through his trauma, showed him positives within himself he never knew he possessed.
'I'll bring out the best in you.'
Fugo realizes his father is dead.
Buccellati is dead.
Buccellati is dead and Fugo is alive.
And when he can't scream anymore, when he can't cry anymore, when he's caught between guilt and nothingness, that's when Fugo gets to work. Someone has to. The mission isn't finished yet, isn't it? Fugo's not going to fail Buccellati by half assing a job.
Fugo's a good son. Other people didn't appreciate it but his real father did.
It's not hard for him to take over Passione. His takeover is swift, methodical. He cleans house, exposes human scum for what they really are by revealing the sickness festering within their hearts, and the people of Italy are thankful for the gangster prince in the shadows.
He does it for Buccellati. For Narancia. Mista. Abbacchio. Even Giorno and Trish. He does it to prevent other kids from ending up like him. He does it because he quavered at the boat, turned his back on suffering, and has resolved to never do that ever again. He does it for his father.
And the don does it well.
And one day it's years later and Pannacotta wakes up and realizes that somewhere along the way, he started to feel in control of himself. He started to feel clean. And he realizes that he finally doesn't hate himself, that maybe he even likes himself.
And yes, he cries sometimes. Screams. But not as often. He hopes he made Buccellati proud.