CHAPTER 19

"Wanna see the nursery now, Daddy?" Matt and I were slowly trudging up the stairs, both feeling the tiredness in our bones. "Daddy...I like the sound of that," he said as I opened the door to the baby's room.

"Wow, Maddie...you and Morrison have done an amazing job! It looks great, baby!" He grabbed my upper arms and pulled me in close for a soft deep kiss. "If you're gonna kiss me like that, I'll start decorating nurseries for a living!" He grinned and kissed me a second time, sliding his hands down into the back of my shorts this time.

"Uh...not in the baby's room,mister...and not before you get that last crate of files out of here." I pointed to a small plastic bin shoved into the corner behind the chair next to the window. "You got it, little mama," he said. He let go of me and picked up the basket of overflowing files, kissing me again on his way out of the room. He returned to the nursery a few minutes later with a very naughty smirk on his face.

"Why the look?" As if I didn't know.

"I told you that I'd be back to make you finish what you started…" He gently lifted me up, his hands supporting my behind as I wrapped my legs around him. He carried me across the hall into our bedroom and put me down by the bed. He slid both of his hands on either side of my neck, pulling me into another soft, wet kiss.

"Babe, would you mind if I took a quick shower? I feel like I've got a few layers of dust to wash off."

"Can I join you in the shower?" His wide eyed innocent look wasn't fooling me. "Of course you can." I took his hand and led him into the bathroom. He turned the water on and let it run until it was warm enough for us to get in. Matt stepped in first and then offered his hand to me to help me in. I let the stream of warm water wash over my breasts and belly as Matt began to wash my back, neck and shoulders. The firmness of his hands made the tired tension in my muscles melt away with each stroke. His arms reached around me and began to wash my baby bump. I leaned my head back against his chest as his hands moved in circles on either side of my tummy. He placed soft kisses on my neck as he continued to bathe me. It was a beautiful, erotic moment.

No words were spoken between us as his soapy hands moved up to my breasts. He took my nipples between his finger and thumb, gently stroking them until they stood erect, eliciting soft moans from the back of my throat. His body shifted behind me and the firmness of his erection grazed against my lower back. Instinctively, I bent forward, placing my hands against the front wall of the shower, to let him know what my intentions were. He shifted his hands to my hips and pushed two fingers inside me, making me groan at the unexpected pleasure. Conventional sex had become slightly uncomfortable in the last few weeks and this position seemed to shift my center of gravity, taking the weight of the baby off my pelvis, making it more comfortable for penetration.

"You okay, baby?" he asked. I nodded my head to let him know that I was. I felt the tip of his penis push between my legs before he gently thrust himself inside of me. A bigger, more intense groan escaped my lips as he glided his full length into me and then out again. He hung onto my hips as he moved, bringing me closer to orgasm with each thrust. The combination of the warm water trickling over my back and between my legs and Matt's expert way with my body made my orgasm come quickly. His grip on me tightened as he quickened his pace and found his release. He pulled out of me and turned me around to face him. His breathing was still ragged when he took my face in his hands.

"I love you so much, Maddy. You have always been my everything and you always will be." He pulled me into another deep, wet kiss before shutting off the shower and helping me out. He lovingly dried me off and wrapped a towel around me before wrapping one around his waist and guiding me back out into the bedroom.

I rifled through my dresser looking for a pair of underwear and Matt's Blackhawks shirt. It was comfortable and adequately covered my growing belly.

"Babe, have you seen your Blackhawks t-shirt? I wanna sleep in it."

"You know, seeing you in that t-shirt does things to me," he said as he pulled on a pair of black boxer briefs.

"Oh please...you'll be harmless now for at least 12 hours."

"I can't argue with that, baby. I think I put it on the top shelf on my side of the closet." I pulled on a pair of underwear as I walked into our closet. When Matt had first moved in, he had enlarged the original small closet into a larger, walk-in one, each with our own side. I stood on my tiptoes to sift through the pile of t-shirts Matt had folded on the top shelf, until I found the familiar red and yellow of the Blackhawks popped out at me. I dropped the towel and pulled the t-shirt out, taking a bunch of the others down with it. I pulled the t-shirt over me, then began to clean up the mess I had made. The-shirts had fallen on the basket of files that Matt had moved out of the nursery earlier. As I picked up the last t-shirt that had fallen, I noticed a large manila envelope poking out among the green hanging files in the basket. The letters "GD" had been written across it in black magic marker. I hadn't seen this one before and my curiosity got the better of me. I sat down on the closet floor and emptied the contents of it out in front of me. A bunch of what looked like legal papers fell out. I picked up the one on the top of the pile and began to read.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Date Filed: October 3, 2015

Plaintiff : Matthew Casey Defendant: Gabriella Dawson

104 Richmond Street 104 Richmond Street

Chicago, IL 60601 Chicago, IL 60601

Date of Marriage: June 1, 2014

Reason for Dissolution: Irreconcilable Differences

Abandonment

Details: The Plaintiff, Matthew Casey, claims that the Defendant, Gabriela Dawson, abandoned their marriage months before they separated. She often made significant decisions about their lives without consulting him or considering his feelings. Case in point, the Defendant adopted a child through the Chicago Department of Family Services without the Plaintiff's input on the situation. She often went on her own "crusades", trying to help a homeless teen, leading to her continued absence at home, leaving the Plaintiff out of all decision making. This happened frequently throughout their 16 month union, widening the distance between them, citing irreconcilable differences. Ms. Dawson then made the decision to go to Puerto Rico as part of a recovery team created by the City of Chicago Fire Commissioner. She did this without the Plaintiff's knowledge.

I stared down at the paper in total disbelief. I felt the air around me start to close in. My hands shook as I looked further into the stack of papers. I leafed through several different bills and leases, one for an apartment in downtown Chicago, signed by Matt, Dawson and Kelly. The further I dug, the more sick I became. My head was spinning when I came across a bill from Lakeshore Hospital dated for February 2014. It had Dawson's name on it. I scanned it quickly until my eyes stopped on the words "ECTOPIC PREGNANCY". A feeling of dizziness washed over me, making me violently nauseous. I grabbed the towel I had dropped on the closet floor and vomited into it. I sat there shaking and crying, unable to move, when Matt's bare feet appeared in the closet doorway.

"You OK, baby?" His eyes widened when he saw the contents of the folder spread out in front of me. "Maddy…Jesus, I..." he said, dropping to his knees.

"Don't." It was all I could manage to say. I struggled to get up from the closet floor, the offending papers still in my hands. Matt got up from his knees to help me. "Don't touch me, Matt."

"Maddy, please...let me explain…"

"Explain what? That you're not only a liar, but a hypocrite too?!" He stood there in front of me, silent, staring directly into my eyes. "For all your posturing, all the drama you put me through, accusing me of lying and keeping secrets from you about Jackson...things I couldn't fully remember until a few months ago...and to think you walked out on me for it when you were harboring your own dirty little secrets. How could you, Matthew?!" I screamed through tears.

"Maddy, it was a mistake. A stupid mistake. That's all. I tried to pretend like it never happened."

"That's all? My God, Matthew...Dawson? Really? How could you? Now all the jabs she's made at my expense are beginning to make sense. You told me you slept with her once after Hallie died and that it ended there. It seems you left out a few details, Matthew. The truth is that she had everything I ever wanted with you before I was even back in your life. I feel like I'm gonna be sick."

"I wanted to tell you, honestly I did, but the time never seemed right. As you and I rekindled our relationship, it hardly seemed relevant to us."

"It's all relevant, Matthew...especially since you walked out on me for almost the same reasons. Jesus, I can't believe you've been lying to me all this time and making me look like a fool in front of none other than Gabby Dawson. You're the one man that I thought would never hurt me, yet here we are again."

"I'm sorry, Maddy...it's just that you hated her so much from the very beginning. I thought it would make things worse if I told you," he said, his eyes and face were wet with tears.

"And you think finding out this way makes it better for me? Christ, Matthew...you don't know me better than that by now?!"

"Baby, I am so sorry. I put the whole thing out of my mind. Please, God...don't..don't leave me, Maddy. Please…"

"Oh, I'm not going anywhere...you're the one leaving. You're good at that, remember? This is my goddamn house and I want you out of it! Pack your things, you son of a bitch and get out!" I was choking on sobs as I screamed at him. He stood, staring blankly at me, with tears streaming down his face, but I didn't care about how he was feeling right now.

"Maddy, don't do this...please. Think of our baby. We need to be together. I love you...please, baby…I don't know where to go without you."

"I'm sure Dawson would gladly take you in...even though I'm your everything," I hissed. "I don't care where you go, just get out of my sight." I watched through tears as he pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and reluctantly shoved a few things into an overnight bag.

"I love you, Maddy...you and our baby... are my life," he said, pausing in the doorway of the bedroom. I refused to look at him, but heard his footsteps on the stairs as he made his was down. I listened as he grabbed his keys from the dish on the table in the foyer, opened the front door and closed it behind him. I heard the sound of his truck start and within a few minutes, he was gone. I had no idea where he was going and I didn't much care. The hurt and betrayal I felt far surpassed my love for him right now and I had no way of knowing if that would ever go away. I caressed my tummy, feeling the gentle movement of my baby underneath my hands.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that, my little angel...but don't worry, you and I...we'll be alright no matter what happens." I turned out the bedroom light and buried myself beneath the covers of the bed, not knowing what my or my baby's future had in store. The scent of Matthew suddenly filled my head, making me burst out in another round of sobs. I may have talked a tough game in front of him just now, but the truth was that I was totally terrified of what might happen.