She dodged just as effortlessly as she had when we met back in the forest. Ducking under my punch and sending a strong kick towards my stomach. I didn't have time to question how she was able to get her foot up that high considering the Victorian dress she wore so I threw my arms up to take the force of the attack. The action spared my stomach from pain but it did launch me a few feet into the air. I managed to use the momentum to flip back and correct myself but Shalltear was on me before my feet touched the ground. Sending a quick trio of punches my way that I didn't have the chance to evade completely. Each one hit with the force of a cinderblock, and I was immediately reminded that this vampire's skill wasn't just in spells. She was probably just as deadly a fighter as any one of the other Guardians. With the final punch I shot back several feet rolling in the dirt before finally collapsing motionless. I heard a slight giggle from Shalltear, which did nothing to cure the bad mood I had since hearing the news about the Swords of Darkness.

"Come now, that can't be all you have." She practically sang as she walked over to me. I stayed right where I was on the ground bidding her to come forward. Her smile vanished as she slowed her walk to me as I mouthed a curse. She had learned from our last encounter. I leapt back to my feet and swiping my hand across the dusty ground before throwing a punch towards her fanged mouth. Naturally she cocked her head to the side and glared at me with mild annoyance. That glare really should've been on my other hand. I hurled a handful of dirt I had scooped up from the ground and it found it's mark right across her eyes.

The gamble worked as her eyes clamped shut I sent my strongest kick right under her chin. She lifted into the air and I, ignoring the pain that a few shattered toe bones made, followed suit. I aimed to stay directly under her and twisted my body so I could land a few more kicks to launch her higher into the air.

One. Two. Three. Was the farthest I got before she locked her hand around my right ankle. I tried to lift my other leg but by this point gravity had taken its toll and seeing as how I didn't have anything keeping me in the air this time, I ended up just hanging by my foot as Shalltear held me in in the air.

"Okay." I said looking down towards the ground which seemed like a good ten feet away. "Clearly I haven't thought this through."

"Really? What gave that away?" She asked lifting her arm up so as to get a better look at my eyes. "What on earth was that supposed to accomplish?"

"Well, my great grandpa used to tell me about a show..." I paused as I remembered she wouldn't know what that was. "...A story, where one of the heroes fights someone with monstrous ability by doing a move that involves them kicking the guy into the air and sending them back down into the ground." I said trying desperately to think of a way to weasel out of this situation.

"Did that other person have the ability to fly?" She asked as the formations of a grin began to grow on her lips.

"Uh...no." I said defeated. "But I thought we agreed not to use magic."

"You agreed." She replied. Her second hand grabbed my other ankle. "Besides, I'm doing this naturally."

"Ah... So what happens now?" I asked getting a disturbing feeling in my stomach.

"Well you did say one of them ends up crashing back into the ground." That smile that had been forming stretched into full fruition. "Might as well finish what you started." She began to twist her body and pull me along for the ride. She spun me a good six times before building up what I assumed was an acceptable amount of energy before finally letting go. I couldn't do much to block the impact except close my eyes and pray so that's what I did for maybe the split second before I smashed into the dirt with the velocity she had built up.

The pain on that one was bad. More so than the broken arm, the broken toes, and almost anything that had ever happened to my body in its time here and in the real world. I couldn't move for a solid minute as I struggled to get some air back inside me. By the time that happened all I could was curl up and groan. Everything was hurting and it was made all the worse when the sound of giggling reached my ears.

"Oh my, you seem to have taken a bad fall..." She laughed in what sounded like it was part of a point and mock stance.

"Fuck...You...Shally." I wheezed out as a response rolling over onto my stomach. I ran through a mental list of what was broken and what wasn't. Toes were still gone. But everything else seemed to still be working if hurting like hell.

"Oh, stop wallowing down there." She ordered with a stamp of her feet. "A resourceful human like you should be fine."

Resourceful? My ass that was resourceful. That was damn lucky and she should've known...It clicked in my head right then. She did know it was luck or even more unnerving...I started to push myself back up to my feet when i asked. "Did you...purposefully...not break...anything that time?" I asked as the last of much needed air worked its way into my lungs.

"You catch on pretty quick." She huffed. "Just as you charged, Lord Ainz ordered me not to seriously injure you before he arrived. I can only assume he didn't want to waste the magic or potions on healing you."

I could only let out a sigh as I finally got to my feet. That made sense. I didn't have any of my equipment with me so it was obvious I wasn't going to be a real threat to her. Though since he did ask that, I took that as a good sign that maybe he at least didn't mind my presence.

"Well...thanks for that anyway." I said stepping out of the crater with wobbly feet. "If it's any consolation, death doesn't seem to have done much to your skill." I said trying to think of some way to compliment her. "Good fight." Just didn't seem to work in this case after my embarrassing performance.

She gave another huff, turning away from me. "Indeed. Only Lord Ainz could do such harm to me. No other soul in this world could dream of doing the same."

"Right..." I replied giving what I hoped would be deemed a respectful nod before looking off towards the Amphitheater. Narberal still sat up in the stands though if I had to guess, she wore a smile as she stared down at me. Probably overjoyed that the new pet human just got his ass handed to him. My gaze then turned to Reina and Remna who still stood at the side as stiff as statues. "So what did you two think? I have any chance?"

They seemed shocked at me speaking to them but aside from that shook their heads. Great. The same vampires I had knocked out hadn't been impressed. "Whatever." I shrugged. "I hope you two learned something at least."

"Learn?" Shalltear asked with a raised eyebrow. "What could those two learn from you?"

"You'd be surprised." I replied. "Reina, Remna, either of you learn to take charge yet?" I asked knowing full well they had probably not had the time to think about what I had joked about. I was proven right when I saw the hints of red creep onto their cheeks. Which aside from getting a chuckle out of me did make me question how that was possible for people who were supposed to be dead...or undead I corrected.

"Take charge?" Shalltear repeated.

I waved her off. "Don't worry about it. It's none of your business anyway." I said giving a wink in their direction before continuing. "So, what now Shally?"

She didn't reply. I turned to see what had caught her attention and it was obvious when I saw Ainz himself accompanied by the exact same Guardians I had met back in the Throne room, standing just a few feet away. Shalltear's eyes seemed to be locked with the succubus who I remembered was called Albedo and Reina and Remna had knelt down to one knee. Their heads bent in recognition of their lower status. To put the conversation in the right tone, I did the same.

My bow was met with a light chuckle. "How considerate. And here I thought you would only do something like that under force."

"Pride was never something I had too much of." I replied keeping my head bowed. "And before I say anything else. I'd like to thank you for not throwing me in a dungeon."

"Your gratitude is useless to Lord Ainz." Albedo spoke, not bothering to turn her eyes to look at me and instead keeping them locked on the Vampire Princess. "And that showing was pathetic, Shalltear. It seems you can still be taken by surprise rather easily."

I straightened my head just in time to see the hurt in Shalltear's eyes. It was brief, being quickly wiped away with a few blinks. But that was all I had needed to see.

You may have noticed by now that I tend to say the exact wrong thing at the exact wrong time consistently and while you might think thank it was suicidal for me to say what I was about to...You really should've seen her. She was practically begging to be insulted.

"Tough talk coming from a melon chested whore..." I growled.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone's face contort with rage quite like Albedo's did. I had already guessed that like probably everyone else in this damn temple she had a hatred for humans. So for one to insult her right to her face, in front of her beloved no less, was like pouring gasoline onto a raging fire. I stood back to my feet trying to block a feeling of dread in my stomach at what was about to come my way.

"Look I get that you're probably trying to impress Ainz with this 'cold bitch' attitude you got going." I said, remembering the affection she had shown back when they saw Shalltear in the forest. "But you need to get off your high horse and realize that Shally here, is three times the fighter you are. And probably three times the woman." I continued pointing to Shally and keeping my eyes on Albedo whose glare was now fully on me. "So how about you change out of your 'slut of the month' uniform and go get whoever froze your fellow Guardian in the forest. And until then, you can kiss her ass."

Oddly enough, it didn't take long for the silence to fade away and Albedo to grow a disgustingly smug smile. Ainz' eye sockets looked at her then back to me. Feeling like I had missed something, I mouthed my concern.

"Um... Is this an execution?" I asked. I heard Ainz and a few of the other Guardians chuckle.

"Not initially." Ainz replied. "Thought I can't say you helped your case. This is a test." A small dark portal opened right next to his hand and he reached in. He tossed a still sheathed Jade to the ground at my feet.

"I need to determine your worth to Nazarick." He explained. "And to do that, I need to see you at your full strength. Your opponent will be Albedo."

I looked at him with a blank stare than back to Albedo who despite giving me a smile, clutched her fists in what I'm sure was a deep rage. "Oh..."

"I would recommend not holding back in the slightest." Ainz said before gesturing the Brides and Shally over to his side. "You will need all your strength if you wish to survive." I wasn't sure if the Brides gave me a glance but I thought I saw one from Shalltear as she moved to her lord's side.

"And everyone else here?" I asked gesturing to the Guardians. "They just here to watch?"

Ainz nodded as Demiurge spoke. "It was noted in your file that you were amongst the most powerful humans back in Yggdrasil." He pushed his glasses closer to his diamond eyes. "If a bit foul tempered." He glanced to Albedo. "Your performance against Albedo will determine if that strength is still present. As well as where your placement in Nazarick will be."

"Ah." I nodded. "Don't suppose I could just suggest where I'd be the most useful?"

"We judge with our eyes here, human." Demiurge replied. "If you have any sort of value, we will see it here and now."

I sighed. "Didn't think so." I looked up to Narberal who still stood up in the stands. "Hey Narberal, do me a favor and speak nicely at my funeral." I yelled.

I can't speak to what her reaction was but my words did elicit a chuckle from Demiurge, the twin elves, and maybe Shalltear who didn't bother to look in my direction. "Can I ask two things before we do this though?" Ainz allowed it so I spoke. "Why her and not Shally?"

"Shalltear's strength was tested enough in her fight with Lord Ainz." Demiurge replied. "And to ask her to fight you at full strength again, especially after being resurrected so soon, is a risk Lord Ainz refuses to take."

I bobbed my head once again being reminded of Ainz's attachment to his Guardians while also noting hearing those words from Demiurge wasn't going to help Shalltear's confidence. "What is the second?" Demiurge asked.

"Can I say anything I want during the battle without worrying about getting struck by lightning, or being eaten by some monster summoned by someone aside from Albedo."

Demiurge looked confused by the question but nevertheless nodded. "You may. This test is solely between you and Albedo."

"If we are finished..." Ainz put a hand on Albedo's shoulder and looked like he whispered something in her ear as the other Guardians moved towards the stands above. I knelt down and grabbed my newly returned sword checking to see if was the real thing or some sick joke to get a laugh before I was slaughtered. I lifted Jade from the sheath and held it to my face. It radiated with a distinct magical energy that I had grown accustomed to over the years and I smiled. I tossed the sheath to the ground behind me. As Ainz moved away from Albedo. He gave one last glance to me before strolling on up to the stands.

I decided to wonder what it meant later as I stared at Albedo who now stood alone in the arena. "I don't suppose an apology would help your mood."

She didn't even offer a head shake, instead she began to summon a bright purple flame that quickly covered her whole body. Within seconds, the flames dissipated and in its place was a shining midnight black set of armor and a matching battleaxe which she wielded in both hands.

"Okay." I whispered. I gripped Jade with my right and let out a breath.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't sure if Jade was going to be enough for this lady so I was definitely worried about dying here. But it was my best chance and she had gotten me through pretty precarious situations before. So it wasn't impossible. "Ignite."

Jade began to shine in a bright green aura before blasting emerald fire from its blade into existence. Much like Albedo, the flames engulfed me and I began to feel my strength rush back into my body. My bones fixed right up along with my confidence and for the first time since I arrived in this world, I felt genuinely good. Great even. Where the fire began to vanish, I felt new armor in its place. Pieces of a medieval set that came into full fruition when the flames vanished from my face and left me with a sold green helm that didn't look all that different from her own. Of course my didn't have horns, but it did have a golden dragon seal plastered on it. My own personal symbol of the guild I represented. Naturally, she wasn't too impressed.

"So, this is the big secret you were keeping?" She laughed from behind her helm. "A magical armor set?"

"Laugh it up, Al." I replied settling on the nick name. "I hope you can take it when Shally criticizes your pathetic performance. "I said swinging Jade around with my new armored right hand to get a feel for the weight increase. In my left, a newly minted shield of matching emerald color sat ready for use so I smashed the blade against it to get the rest of my blood boiling. "You've met Haon the Idiot. Now you stand before Haon the Holy. And it's time for a Crusade."

"Haon the Holy?" Aura laughed next to her brother. "What kind of a name is that?"

"I-It does sound a bit over the top." Mare agreed tapping his staff nervously. "And to say such a thing to lady Albedo..."

"He is a rather frank human." Demiurge said curling a fist under his chin. "I must admit I am confused by his words. Does he not take the threat of death seriously?"

"Don't be fooled." Cocytus breathed staring down at the two armored warriors in the arena as they came to blows. "He's terrified right now." The eyes of the watching Guardians moved to him, requesting an explanation. "He appears vulgar to hide his worry. His theatrical nature acts as the same. A personal shield to hide behind. He doesn't know how powerful lady Albedo is and..." He paused as if trying to put it into words what he sense from watching Haon. "He's trying to focus in order to impress Lord Ainz."

"Impress you say?" Demiurge turned to his lord just as Narberal floated to his side and sat down. "Narberal, you've kept watch on him since he arrived. Would do you make of the human?"

"Hao..." She coughed and shook her head. "The human is strange. He uses curse words liberally, and keeps claiming he has no interest in Nazarick or any of its treasures."

"Wait. If that's true, why seek out Lord Ainz at all?" Aura asked. "Why would he risk his life if not to at least see Nazarick?"

"...He wants to get home." Ainz spoke calmly.

"Lord?" Demiurge asked.

Ainz went silent and allowed Demiurge to work his way to the natural conclusion. " I see." His eyebrows rose at the realization. "He wishes to return to Yggdrasil."

"Indeed." Ainz replied. "So far, he is the only other one to have made the journey to this new world. Everyone he's ever known. Friends, family, all were more than likely left behind."

What happened next shocked every one of the Guardians and even Ainz himself. "So in a way...He's somewhat similar to you, lord?" Reina asked speaking from behind Shalltear whose eyes widened at the act. Surely there couldn't be anything similar between the Lord Ainz and a lowly human.

Rather than respond with malice, Ainz let out a small laugh. "That's correct, Reina. In that way, he and I are similar." Ainz replied before straightening himself up and looking back to the arena. "Now then, let us see if he can hold his own with Albedo. I expect each of you to watch with the intent of seeing his strengths and weaknesses. Understood?"

A choir of "Yes, lord" rang out from the Guardians. And each turned towards the battle with renewed focus. Ainz himself did the same save for one lingering question that stayed in his mind. The outburst at Albedo, was that truly in Shalltear's defense or just used as a tactic to get under her skin? All odds pointed towards the second choice, yet the possibility remained. He'd have to think more on the subject at later date.

A/N: Tada! Probably not what you all were expecting. Or maybe it's exactly what you were expecting. You guys are rather smart when it comes to these things.

I also do hope by now that you all know I actually like the characters of Overlord and have respect for their power, so don't worry about any Albedo bashing.

Special thanks to PervySageChuck for being a badass beta reader.

See ya later.