CHAPTER 23

I awoke a few hours later, feeling stiff but like I had slept hard. The room was dark and the air felt heavy, almost to the point of choking me. In my haste to lay down, I had forgotten to turn on the ceiling fan before getting into bed. As I rolled over to get out of bed to turn it on, I saw the clock on the bedside table said 2:15 AM. I had slept for almost six uninterrupted hours, which was a first in several months. I took a minute to stretch before getting out of bed. I ran my hands over my belly, just in time to feel the little person inside me do the same thing.

"It's too early to get up, Baby Casey. Mama's gotta pee and turn on the fan, but then I'm getting right back in to bed, so no gymnastics for a few more hours," I said, gently stroking my tummy. I sat up and threw the covers off of me, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. As I pushed myself up, I felt a warm dampness underneath me. I turned around to glance down at the mattress and caught the sight of a smear of blood on the sheet. I felt my panic rise immediately as I pulled the bed clothing down to see a large puddle of blood in the middle of the bed. I felt my knees begin to buckle and I grabbed for my phone as I sat back down. My hands were shaking so badly that I couldn't get it to work. I pushed the Home button and managed to ask Siri to call 9-1-1.

"9-1-1 operator...what's your emergency?" The voice crackled at the other end. I suddenly felt light headed and couldn't muster an answer. I put my head as far down as I could, but the room began to spin. I tried calling out to Em, but it was no use. My voice was too weak. I could feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead and down the back of my neck. I leaned forward and lowered myself onto the accent rug next to the bed. I was afraid I was going to fall if I attempted to get up. My phone had slipped out of my hand and onto the rug next to me. I pushed the Home button and asked it to call Em, praying she had left her phone on.

"Hey, Mads...what's up? You OK?" I heard her sleepy voice on the other end.

"I need you, Em...come up here," I said. Within a minute, she was at the door to the bedroom. "Maddy?" I heard her say before she opened the door. "Oh, sweet Jesus! Maddy!" She kneeled down beside me, taking my phone in her hand.

"Yeah, I need an ambulance at 2502 Lexington. My friend Maddy is pregnant and she's bleeding...oh Christ, about 36 weeks, I think...yeah, she's conscious, but barely...she has that thing where the placenta covers the thing...you know, where the baby comes out," she said in a panicked voice. "Yeah, ok...I'll ask her...are you in any pain, Mads? No...she's shaking her head no...OK, I'll stay on the line…"

"Matthew...I need Matthew…" I said, feebly.

"Shit...can someone call her husband? His name is Matt Casey. He's a Chicago firefighter at House 51...Captain Matt Casey...yeah, please tell him...he's on duty tonight…Oh Christ...it's gonna be okay, Mads...I promise...you'll be okay...where is that damn ambulance?! Why do they take so fucking long?! Two minutes out? OK...I'll let them in. Mads, I'm going down to let the paramedics in but I'll be right back, OK?" I nodded as she made her way down the stairs and waited for the ambulance. I was in no pain, but was too weak to move. WIthin a few minutes, I heard the sound of my front door opening and the unmistakable noise of equipment being hauled up the stairs.

Despite drifting in and out, I could hear the Em and paramedics talking as they worked on me.

"Hey...what's her name?"

"It's Madeleine Casey."

"Jesus...is this Captain Casey's wife?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to get a hold of him now….what do you mean he's not on duty? He's picking up an extra shift...it's his wife...she told me he was...can you locate him? Jesus...this is fucking ridiculous..."

"Tell him we're taking her to Lakeshore. Are you coming with her?"

"Yeah...yeah, of course.."

They carefully lifted me onto the gurney and strapped me in before heading down to load me in the ambulance. Em followed closely behind.

"Call him…" I said, as they pushed the gurney into the back of the ambulance. The oxygen mask made it even more difficult to speak.

"Call who?"

"Matthew…"

"I'm trying, Mads…"

"No...you...call...his cell…now…"

"Oh, shit...why didn't I think of that? I'm sorry, Mads. My head isn't on straight…"

I drifted in and out for the next few minutes, vaguely remembering Em leaving a frenzied message on Matt's voicemail. "Please God...let him get the message before it's too late…" was the last thought I had before I passed out.

I woke sometime later to the sound of Dr. McAdam's voice.

"Madeleine...it's Dr. McAdams. Can you hear me?" I nodded that I could. "The placenta has dropped into your cervix, which is why you are bleeding. Because you've lost a lot of blood, the baby is in distress. We are going to have to do an emergency Cesarean, Madeleine. We need to get you and the baby stabilized as soon as possible. Do you understand?"

"Is Matt here yet?" I asked through the O2 mask.

"No, not yet...but we can't wait, Madeleine. We have to go to the OR as soon as one is ready."

"Not without Matthew…I can't...he won't…"

"He will understand, Madeleine...it's his baby and wife's lives we're talking about."

"NO...I NEED MATTHEW!" I shouted. The monitors that I was hooked up to started to blink and beep furiously.

"Has anyone located her husband yet?!" I heard Dr. McAdams shout. No one answered. "We can't wait. We need to prep her for the OR now. Her BP is dropping from the blood loss and her O2 sats are in the tank. Let's go…"

"Matthew...Matthew…" I said weakly, as they moved me from one gurney to another and wheeled me out the door towards the elevators. Tears rolled down the sides of my face and onto the dull, greying sheet underneath me. I needed Matthew here. I wanted to see his face, look into his beautiful blue green eyes one more time.

"Maddy! Maddy, baby...I'm here...I'm here!" I heard the sound of his voice just as they pushed me inside the elevator to take me up to the OR. He pushed his way in, leaning over me and kissing me on the forehead.

"I'm sorry, Matt...this is my fault...I'm so stupid…" I said through my tears.

"No, baby...don't say that...I'm the stupid one…what's the hell is going on, Dr.?"

"We're taking Madeleine to the OR for an emergency C-section. As I expected, her placenta did not cooperate and she's lost a lot of blood. She didn't want to go until you got here. You'll need to scrub up once we get upstairs," said Dr. McAdams.

"Wait...what? What are you talking about?" asked Matt. His face looked care worn and confused. The doors to the elevator opened and Dr. McAdams didn't have time to explain.

"Follow us, Mr. Casey. My nurse, Carolyn, will show you where to change," was all she said.

Matt let go of my hand as the nurse whisked him away to get him ready.

"Matt…Matt…" I started to cry.

"He'll be back in a few minutes, Mrs. Casey. Don't cry…" said the orderly who was pushing me into the operating room. Once inside the OR, the coldness and bright lights of the room were overwhelming me. I couldn't stop the tears from coming even if I tried. Even though everyone was talking to me in a gentle hushed tone, it all scared me to the point that I was shaking uncontrollably.

"I want my husband!" I cried as I was moved from the ER gurney to the operating table.

"He's getting scrubbed up, Madeleine. He'll be here in a few minutes. Try to relax," said Dr. McAdams. Even she looked unfriendly and foreboding in her gown, cap and surgical mask. The OR nurses began to prep me for the Cesarean...sliding a cap over my head, setting up the tented drape across my body, hooking me up to monitors and IV's while I dozed on and off. I felt weak and tired, but wanted to be awake for the procedure. Dr. McAdams was agreeable to that, but only if my blood pressure stabilized.

"Maddy, baby...I'm right here now...you OK?" I heard Matt's voice from somewhere behind me.

"You can sit on this stool, Mr. Casey...right beside Madeleine," I heard another voice say.

"I'm OK...just scared," I said with tears rolling down onto the operating table.

"It'll be alright, baby...everything will be fine...I love you," he said, kissing me lightly on the lips.

"I love you too," I said.

"OK, Madeleine...your blood pressure is looking better, your other vitals are in line and the baby is doing better too, so you can stay awake for the Cesarean. Are you both ready?" asked the doctor.

"Ready as we'll ever be," said Matt. He pulled the stool up next to me as close as he could, wrapping his left arm up over my head and holding my right hand in his.

"OK, Madeleine...you may feel some tugging and pressure, but you should not feel any pain. So let me know if something hurts," said Dr. McAdams. "OK," I said, squeezing Matt's hand tightly.

"Matthew...please forgive me. I know I acted like a spoiled brat and I'm sorry I made you leave," I said through a flood of tears.

"Don't cry, Maddy...please...it was my fault. If I had told you, none of this would have happened. I'm the one that should be asking for forgiveness," he said, kissing the side of my face.

"Can we just forgive each other and be done with it, OK?" I said.

"OK, baby," he said, kissing me softly on the mouth.

"OK, Maddy...I'm making the incision now, so you'll feel a little pressure here…" said the doctor. I took a deep breath and held it in, trying to focus. The felt the sensation of hands pushing down on my abdomen as Dr. McAdams pulled the scalpel across my bikini line.

"There goes me ever wearing that thong bikini again I wore on our honeymoon," I giggled.

"Don't worry about that, baby...besides, I've never seen you look sexier than you do right now," he said.

"Yeah, right…" I said.

"OK, Madeleine...you're going to feel a lot of tugging and pulling as I take the baby out of the uterus. Just take some deep breaths, just like they taught you in Lamaze," said the doctor.

"This is it, Maddy...our baby is being born," said Matt. I could see him smiling widely with tears rolling down his face. Behind the drape, I could feel my lower half being manipulated, pulled and prodded. I tried to take a few deep breaths, but felt as though the wind was being knocked out of me with each movement they made.

"Here we go, Madeleine...the baby's out and…IT'S A BOY! Congratulations, Mom and Dad!" Dr. McAdams held him up so Matt and I could see him, the umbilical cord still attached to him.

"Oh my God...we have a son! He's beautiful, Maddy!"

"He looks so scrawny!" I said, the tears blurring my vision slightly. His little legs seemed thin and tiny, but his color was pink, the sign of a healthy baby.

"Would you like to do the honors, Daddy?" asked Dr. McAdams. She held up a pair of surgical scissors and pointed to the umbilical cord. Matt's hands shook slightly as he took the scissors and cut between the clamped areas.

"We're gonna get this little guy cleaned up, weigh him and run a few tests, then he's all yours," said the doctor.

Matt and I watched as they washed him off, wailing the entire time.

"There's definitely no problems with his lungs," said Matt.

"He weighs 5 lbs. 14 oz., ten fingers, ten toes and two bright blue eyes. He passed all of his tests, which is unusual for baby born a month early. He's looking good, Mom and Dad," said the nurse as she brought him back over to us. He was swaddled up in a blanket, his little pink face was scrunched up tight, as she laid him in Matt's arms.

"Welcome to the world, James Finnegan Casey. We've waited a long time to meet you," said Matt, placing a kiss on our son's forehead before handing him to me. "This is your beautiful and amazing Mom."

"Hello, baby Finn. See this guy right here? He's your Dad...and he's pretty amazing too," I said. I kissed the top of his head and cradled him close to me while tears spilled down my face. I looked up at Matt, who was also crying happy tears. I reached up and wiped his cheek with my thumb, holding his face in my hand.

"We did it, Matthew...we did it," I said. He pulled my hand away from his face and kissed the palm of it.

"We sure did, baby. I love you."

"I love you too."

And all was right within our little world.