Chapter 37

As I became aware of being awake, I also became aware of the nauseous feeling I'd had since yesterday, I feigned sleep trying to will my stomach to calm down. Was it too much sun? Perhaps the rich foods we'd eaten on the yacht? Dehydration or some stomach bug I'd picked up? Whatever it was I couldn't act as normal for much longer, I needed to talk with Angel, maybe she had some medicine I could take. I felt Carlos move stealthily from the bed, kiss my forehead and the sound of the door as he exited. Quickly I ran into the bathroom and with my head over the toilet was violently sick. As the dry heaving settled I turned on my knees and started to fill the tub with hot water, throwing in some bath salts that smelled of vanilla. I was still soaking in the tub when Carlos reappeared in the bathroom. Hopefully the smell of my sick had been drowned out by the vanilla and I knew my cheeks were flushed from the heat of the water, I did feel a little better. He bent over me and kissed my head, stroking a hand down my cheek.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

"Better than I was"

Which wasn't a lie. He went into the shower and I heard the sound of water spraying against the glass surround. Oh hell, my hormones were going into hyper drive, certainly not dampened by my feeling ill. I stood from the bath and carefully stepped out and opened the glass door, reaching in to run my hands down his back, he stilled and turned wearing a huge grin on his face and sporting a huge erection.

"Someone told me you were good in the shower"

"Babe I'm good anywhere with you"

As we left the bathroom wrapped in towels feeling very clean and very satiated I felt the need to expend some energy.

"I think I'm going to ask Tobi or Lester to work out with me in the gym"

"Sounds like a plan, Babe, just don't overdo things if you're still feeling a bit under the weather"

I spent an hour with Tobi on the mats, mainly going through ways to get out of holds, not really energetic but by the end I was feeling pretty tired. Angel was coming in as I left.

"Angel can you spare a few minutes this morning?"

"Sure Steph, give me an hour and I'll find you"

Returning to my room I re showered and dressed in shorts and a strappy top with a bikini underneath, then lay down in my thinking position with a pillow on my head.

Gentle kisses on my face brought me awake and I opened my eyes to beautiful brown eyes looking at me.

"Someone told me you were a woman who loved upside down kisses?"

"Maybe you'll have to try it to find out?"

"Maybe I will"

He kissed me gently, holding my head in his hands as I teased my fingers through his hair.

"Mmm, that felt just right"

"Come on sleepy head, Angel's next door waiting for you"

I tied my hair back into a ponytail and walked out to greet Angel.

"Why don't we go to my rooms and then we'll have a bit of peace and quiet?"

Angel's rooms were simple, but classy, almost bohemian with the rich colors that she'd used. We sat in a lounge with a couch stuffed with small cushions, lots of room and comfy enough to raise my legs under me.

"All right Steph, spill it"

"I'm fed up with feeling sick and tired all the time, I can't stomach big meals and food just doesn't taste as good"

"Any pain?"

"No, do you think I have a stomach bug, oh no, do you think there's a problem with my kidney?"

"No, lets do some basic tests first, then we can eliminate things from your panic list"

I moved the cushions out of the way and laid down on the couch, Angel had gone to wash her hands and get her medic bag.

"Blood pressure a bit low, but yours is on the low side as normal, heart rate good and strong, no tenderness in your abdomen, no temperature so no infection anywhere. When was your last period?"

"I don't have them"

"So what birth control are you using?"

"Three month injection, it's due in three weeks"

"So you are using other contraception aren't you?"

"Err, no, I'm covered"

"Well I think that maybe we need to run some blood tests. Any contraception is only 99% effective, add on to that the stress you've been under and the fact that you were on a cocktail of antibiotics after your operation, well"

"Angel I can't be"

"I tell you what, I'm friends with the medic over on Ronde Island, we can go over there and use the spa and pool, while she runs some tests. Come on Steph if you're not then we can take it off the list"

The next hour was like being in a dream, I just did as Angel told me. Tobi used one of the motor launches to take us over and I spent the time thinking through what Angel was suggesting. I couldn't be pregnant, what sort of mother would I be? I'm always getting into scrapes and trouble follows me. My mother was right, I'm not a good person, she tried to get me to be more domesticated and I couldn't do it, I could end up just like her. Oh god Carlos, he didn't do children, his life wasn't cut out to be a father. Would he just marry me and set me up in a nice house and pay for things, could I live with that? Would he hate me and never speak to me again? Would he expect me to get an abortion? By the time we stepped onto the jetty on Ronde I felt physically sick, even Tobi walked next to me, I think he thought I was going to pass out.

"Angel, is Steph OK to be going in the spa and pool, she's looking a bit green"

"She's fine, just needs to find her land legs. We'll see you here in two hours"

If the island was beautiful I didn't see it, and was totally unaware of the buildings we were walking through. It was when we were sat down in an office I suddenly became aware of the medical equipment on the shelves and a pretty woman smiling at me.

"I'm Doctor Nealey, so pleased to have a new face to talk to"

"Hello, I'm Steph"

"Okay Angel she looks ready to bolt, is she going to be all right?"

"Yeah Jo, I need you to do a pregnancy test, don't have much call for those on my island"

"No problem, I'll need to take some blood Steph"

She held my arm and pulled a band around it then prepared the needle and vials. Angel held my other hand as the needle was inserted and the vials filled with my blood.

"All done, I've taken some extra in case the test is negative and we need to do more tests, Angel said you haven't been feeling well?

"No, not really"

"Angel bring her back in an hour and a half, I've my own in house lab so I'll get it done straight away"

Angel had to pull me up from the chair and steer me out of the room, it wasn't until she pushed a drink into my hand I realized we were sat in lounge chairs next to a beautiful swimming pool.

"Steph you want something to eat?"

"Maybe just something light"

"You stay here and I'll go sort something out"

I actually enjoyed the food Angel brought; we had sandwiches, raw vegetables, salad and pretzels, followed by a banana split. I drank ginger ale soda, something I'd never tried before, and I found that I liked it. The time passed more quickly than I thought it would, probably because Angel talked non-stop. Before I knew it we were sat with doctor Nealey again, and she had a smile on her face as she held a piece of paper in her hand.

"Congratulations Steph, you are indeed pregnant"

I couldn't say anything; I got up and turned to her.

"Thank you for doing this so quickly"

Then I did what I do well, I bolted, I can run when I need to, and I needed to. I needed to feel I could run away from this, hide, and go into my favorite place, denial land. I briefly heard Angel shout my name but I weaved through corridors, in and out of doors until I hit an exit that brought me to the outside, then I continued to run. I don't know how far I ran, but my surroundings had changed, there were no longer buildings or paths. There were trees and long grass and the sound of birds in the air, I couldn't let the fear of not knowing where I was or where I was going deter me, keep running Stephanie, became my mantra. I hadn't even noticed that I had gone up a hill until I came to the other side and instead of running I tripped and fell onto the ground then rolled sideways, my speed increasing as the hill fell away. At some stage I must have lost consciousness because when I came to I was in a tangled mess and it was starting to get dark. I was covered in little cuts and no doubt would have bruises but nothing major hurt, and that's when it hit me, I could have killed my baby, my baby growing inside of me, my baby that was a part of me and Carlos. Oh god, Carlos, what had I done? I crawled my way into a sunken area between the gnarled roots of an ancient tree, curling up I silently wept until I fell into a sleep.

Chapter 38

I was on the computer catching up with work from Trenton, I'd already spoken with Juan and things were fine in Miami, Tank had sent me a report and apart from some meetings to schedule when I got back all was quiet. Kade burst into the room flinging the door back onto the wall, something was wrong.

"Mobilize, we need to get over to Ronde straight away, bird's coming in to pick us up"

I ran to the closet and donned cargos, cat boots and long sleeved T-shirt, then added two guns and two knives, and hightailed it out to the back of the building where a helicopter was just landing. Climbing on board I saw Jobe up front piloting with Santos beside him and Kade, Sam and Jobe.

"What the hell has happened?"

Kade looked over at Jobe, who shrugged his shoulders, obviously leaving it to Kade to fill me in.

"Steph bolted and now Angel and Tobi can't find her. They think she ran into the jungle area of the island, but it's getting dark so we need to find her"

"What the hell caused her to run?"

"I don't know, Angel won't tell me, but no one's after her, it's just not the best place to be at night"

What had caused Steph to run? I know she hadn't been feeling well, but together we'd been really good. I didn't feel that she was in danger, no awareness that she needed help. Santos came over the headphones.

"I'm gonna drop two of you off behind the hotel then Jobe and I will use the infra red scanner to see if we can pick up her heat source. There's no where to land in the interior so if we find something we'll send you the co ordinates, Sam can man the winch if we need it"

That made sense; Kade and I were the best at tracking so might be able to pick up her trail. Kade started to hand me some gear, Maglite, machetes, and an ear bud and throat mike. We each had a backpack with emergency medical supplies and ropes. Santos handed us GPS handsets as he opened the door and Kade and I jumped down onto the grass outside of the hotel. Tobi was waiting for us.

"We tracked her going into the wooded area, but it got too dark to follow it properly, I'm with you, Angel's staying here incase she turns up or someone calls to say they've seen her"

Tobi led us to the edge of the wooded area as the bird lifted off. I had to lock away my emotions; they'd get in the way of me being effective, of finding her. Instead I focused on her, only her as we followed a pathway into the woods. The going was slow as we were trying to track Stephs movements; fortunately she'd crashed through the undergrowth leaving broken branches and flattened grass. She must have moved fast because we'd already covered a good few miles, Santos had scanned the area ahead and found nothing; they were circling and repeating their search then going way ahead of us. The terrain was getting steadily worse, trees closer together so no grass to leave a trail on and the branches of the trees were higher so non broken. We reached the ridge of a small hill and that's when I felt her close by.

"She's nearby Kade, I think she went down the hill, anything from Santos?"

"Negative, but if she's protected by trees the infra re scanner may not pick anything up, here look, there's breakage at the edge of that root system, let's follow it down"

We were finding more damage to the ground, had she fallen and rolled, yes there was an area smoothed out. I stopped and listened and forced my mind to find her.
"Ranger we got a very weak heat source about 60 foot ahead of you, not full size so could be a mammal, but it's not moving"

"Roger Santos, on our way"

As we came to the area that Santos mentioned the trees appeared old, lots of root systems across the ground, then I saw her, or at least her hand, trailing over one of the roots. I moved forward to assess the damage, and there she was, curled up inside the base of the tree, protected by the tree.

""Found her, I need to assess her condition"

I knelt beside her and touched her wrist, strong steady heartbeat, and warm skin. I moved my hand to her face and traced her cheek with my fingertips, if I didn't know better I'd say she was asleep. Kade came behind me bending down to look at her.

"What's your prognosis?"

"Asleep? I'm going to wake her and see if she has any injuries"

I gently put my hand to her head and stroked her hair talking to her.

"Babe, you need to wake up, come on babe, I need to see your beautiful blue eyes"

She moaned as her head turned and her eyes fluttered open, confusion then terror in her face.

"Babe, everything's fine, I'm here for you, and you're safe querida"

"Carlos, oh god, what have I done?"

"Nothing, but I need to know if you're hurt"

She moved her arms and made to get up, I lifted her up in my arms, holding her to me, and I breathed her in savoring her smell and feel.

"I need to hold you, to be sure you're all right"

"I'm sorry Carlos, I panicked and couldn't stop, then I got lost and it was dark. Am I the reason you're all here?"

Tears started to stream down her face as she realized the lengths we'd had to go through to find her.

"Come on we need to get out of here, can you walk?"

"Yes, I can walk"

I looked her over as she began to walk with Kade's arm around her waist, she had a lot of small cuts, probably from the branches that caught her, and no doubt she'd have bruises from the fall down the hill. Otherwise she seemed to be fine. Tobi led the way and I caught up and held her waist on her other side. It was hard going retracing our steps, after an hour Steph was dead on her feet, I lifted her into my arms and felt her snuggle in to my chest, kissing her hair I noticed she was fast asleep, but not a deep sleep, she was obviously agitated, her face wasn't relaxed and she was whimpering. Each of us took turns to carry her and she never woke up, even when we all loaded back into the helicopter to return us home. We were all quiet and periodically someone would watch her, Angel hadn't said anything that might throw a light on why Steph had run. I carried her into our bedroom, removed her clothes and put a T-shirt of mine on her along with some sleep shorts. Leaving her tucked up in bed I took a fast shower and within five minutes was laid next to her, my arms locked around her. My sleep was chaotic with dreams, of her walking away from me or simply fading in front of my eyes, each time I woke to make sure she was still there. As the sun rose I couldn't sleep any more and simply watched her. Not long after she started moving and slowly her eyes opened, she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, please don't hate me, please don't send me away, shit I need to go to the bathroom"

She literally ran across the room and I heard her reason for the fast exit from bed, she was being sick. I followed behind her and rinsing a cloth under the cold water placed it on the back of her neck.

"Babe, you need anything?"

She shook her head, repeating what she'd said before.

"I'm sorry, please don't hate me, please don't send me away"

That's when it hit me, the reason she'd been so ill and her running away and now what she was saying. I lifted her onto my knee and sat on the floor.

"Babe, I love you and will do forever, I think you have something to share with me, don't you?"

She closed her eyes and turned from me.

"Un bebe hermoso, she will be beautiful like her mother, and I love her already"

Then I lifted the T-shirt she was wearing and kissed her skin below her tummy button.

"You have to be good for your mama, she's not feeling so well. Babe, why would you think those things? I can't think of anything more precious than you having my child, seeing you grow round with her and feeling her move inside you"

"I didn't think you'd wanted any children?"

"I never really thought about it, but now, wow"

"But what if I'm like my mother, what if I'm no good?"

"Babe you are nothing like your mother, you are one of the most loving, caring people I know"

"But I won't know what to do"

"Babe we'll learn together, we'll have Ella and Angel, Mary Lou and don't forget all the uncles she'll have"

"I panicked, you I said you didn't want a family, and I know I didn't, but now I know I have a piece of you growing inside, I already love it"

"So do I, Babe promise me you'll talk to me first please?"

"I will"

"Let' get married"

"You already asked me and I said yes"

"I know but lets do it now, I want to go to appointments as your husband, for you and my children to have my name, Stephanie Manoso"

"I like the sound of that"

"Then lets get the gang into action and make it happen, here on the beach, unless you want a big church affair with everyone there?"

"No, been there, done that. I'd love to marry you on the beach at sunset with our friends, maybe we can have a party when we get home to let people know"

"Let's go break the news to the others, I'm sure Kade and Angel will love it, Babe everything will be all right, we're together and together we are stronger"

I took my time to kiss her, her nose, her lips and chin, then lifted up her T-shirt and kissed her stomach. I never imagined having a child so soon, maybe it was something we would have got around to talking about, but to be honest I felt as if I'd been given a miracle, the idea of a child lit up my face and my heart. I'd have to relook at our safety once back in Trenton and hopefully Steph would be protective enough of our child to make some adjustments to her, no, our lives.

After dressing we went to the main house, obviously Angel knew Stephs secret but when she saw my face she broke into a smile and hugged us both. Kade gave me a funny look.

"Double celebration Kade, but first you two have a special assignment to plan for"

"And what the hell is that?"

"Steph and I want to get married here, as soon as possible"

Angel whooped and Kade grinned.

"About time you got your head outta your ass"

Angel immediately took Steph out of the room, no doubt to start planning; Kade was just sat grinning at me.

"So what else?"

"Sorry?"
"You said a double celebration"

"Steph's pregnant, that's why she ran yesterday, she panicked, thought I wouldn't like the idea"

"Hell man, I've never seen you look so happy, there was a time you swore you'd never settle down. But even I'd settle down with that woman"

"Kade!"

"Keep your head on Ranger, she's one in a million and you know it, you lucky bastard"

"I know, I never felt like I deserved someone like her"

"Come on, let's get some organizing done, before I start to cry"

Organizing for a wedding was actually easier than I thought it would be, Kade had very good contacts with the resort on Ronde and they specialized in weddings, so after a phone call their organizer took over. A lady called Danielle was going to be in charge of everything from flowers to food and most importantly the official ceremony. She sent over by email a full outline of a schedule and would send us options for us to choose from later. With that done I needed to find rings and appropriate clothing. As if sensing this Angel called.

"Ranger we need to go over to the main land and acquire some dresses, thought we'd go in the morning, you need to come?"

"Yes Angel, that's a good idea"
"Okay I'll sort with the guys our transport and we'll leave here at 9am, I'll let Steph know"

We all ate together in Kade's house, seeing as it was the largest. He hadn't said anything to anyone else and neither had I. As we sat down Santos was the one who seemed to notice that there was a different feel in the air.

"All right, what the hell is going on, because I can definitely sense that something's going down"

I looked at Steph as she looked at me and I gave her a nod to continue, she ceremonially tapped her knife on her glass, and then stood up beside me with her arm across my shoulder. I instinctively pulled her into my side.

"Carlos and I would like you to join us on Friday at our wedding celebration"

"Beautiful it will be a pleasure"

Kade stood up with glass in hand.

"I'm sure I speak for all us here, but, well, congratulations to you both"

There were "Hoorays" from the table and each of the men came up to Steph to give her a hug and kiss on the cheek, obviously Santos pushed his luck but this time Tobi managed to hit him on the back of the head. Steph was smiling so much she was almost in tears. After dessert and coffee we arranged the trip for the morning and I excused us for the evening. I decided to take a different route via the beach to get back to our cottage.

"Babe, how are you feeling?"

"Much better, Angel's given me some tips to try and ward off some of the sickness, but she said the tiredness was something I'd have to put up with, just to rest more often"

"Tell me what you need and I'll help out, OK?"

I turned her into my arms and drew her tight to my chest, holding her head with my cheek against hers.

"Babe, you've made me the happiest man on Earth, I couldn't imagine you not being next to me, mi alma gemela, my soul mate"

"Te amo Carlos, I feel so happy at this moment"

"Come on, if we have an early morning then we need to get some sleep"