From the Ganymede's cockpit, Kylo can confirm visually what his sensors have already told him, that he's closing in on Takodana. It's his first time off The Finalizer in over a month and he's grateful for the opportunity to do anything useful. He's to rendezvous with N'ktara Ren at a defunct Pakoukou shrine. It's mostly an information exchange, but he'll also serve in a small capacity as a secondary fighter should N'ktara require one. He's hoping it will come to battle, regardless that such circumstances would render the assignment a waste of time. Kylo just has so much energy bottled up from standing around watching the soldiers go through their daily routines aboard the large floating battleship.
Life aboard the Finalizer has been dull, but far from unpleasant. His quarters are small and have a ruthless efficiency-style of comfort to them. When he'd fled from the Jedi Temple during the night of his rebirth, he'd taken a bag with him of only the most basic of things, save for one item of misplaced sentimental value. Since then, Kylo hasn't felt very inclined to saddle himself with more things that he might need to abandon in the future. But even this minimalist approach to objects has the three compartments in his quarters packed tightly. The appreciation that he has for the space is that it is his own, shared by neither apprentices nor tenuous allies. It's hard enough to share a control deck with General Hux, who radiates a consistent low-level hatred at all times when Kylo is around, which given the circumstances of their deployment, must be exhausting.
He likes watching Hux though, trying to figure out what makes the general tick, and what makes him stand out so much from the other worker bees that flit through the hive of the ship. For starters, he's less stoic than Kylo thinks of military personnel. Every emotion that Hux ever has broadcasts itself, illuminated like the 500-foot casino advertisements on Spira. Even if he doesn't take action to the feelings, they're right there for anyone, not just a force user, to read. His neck, ears, and cheeks turn red at the least provocation. When angry, Hux's lips draw themselves so tight together that Kylo wonders if they'll vanish entirely, crushed beneath their own weight. When smugly satisfied with himself, his nose goes higher, like a bird's beak proudly full of a worm. And these reactions can come from the most mundane of interactions. Even signing a work order can be a drama holovid's worth of physical responses.
Despite this seeming flaw though, Hux runs a tight ship. He's good at what he does. His men hate him, of course, as can be said of any good commander, but he isn't seeking their approval anyway. His approval comes strictly from inside. Kylo's seen happy pride cross his face as he meets or exceeds a personal goal. He doesn't need soldiers to praise him. Kylo envies him that fiercely. Even now that he's the Master of the Knights of Ren, he still feels desperate for a word of respect, of adulation, from Snoke. He tries so hard not for his own sake, like Hux does, but for others.
Takodan's environment is lush; trees, plants, and animals burst from every inch of its surface, but the Ganymede doesn't require much room to land, and he doesn't even need to seek out a port. He parks by a lake located not far from the shrine. He'd prefer to wait until he gets out of the cockpit to slip on his mask, but it's raining and he wishes to avoid getting the smell of wet hair trapped with him inside the helmet. He climbs out of the craft, stretches his legs, always stiff from long trips in a ship so small. He watches the way that the rain makes the surface of the lake ripple, holds out a gloved hand and feels the weight of the fat droplets as they land. Takodan has amazing freshwater resources that are yet untapped. The whole planet seems paused in an unsustainable equilibrium, where there are people on it, but it hasn't been plundered yet. Give it time and it will become as plucked clean as a beebleberry bunch in the paws of a bearded jax.
He can sense N'ktara's location, an unsurprising connection formed from their time training together under Snoke. No other knight can match Kylo for force power, but he feels like a sort of main hub for them when they're near him, like he makes them stronger. The urge to reconnect with them is magnetic, so that even if he wasn't already intending this meeting, his feet might carry him there anyway.
Pakoukou is a Mon Calamari god and so shrines in his honor are built either around or on water. This one is atop the water, but, in deference to its indigenous people, has a floating bridge that leads to it. Before stepping on the bridge, Kylo flexes his force powers. It's overwhelming to sense the life force on a planet with so much variation in flora and fauna. In the force, even the bud of a plant has the amount of presence of a large beast. He feels all the essences dying and growing. It takes him several moments to filter out the non-sentient, to be able to focus on potential threats. The nearby population, just townsfolk, don't seem to offer him any immediate threat. N'ktara inside the building could definitely be a threat, they're as well-trained in combat as himself, but he's looking for ambush. Finding nothing, he continues.
The bridge has the perfect height on the water, but it's still unnerving to feel it dip slightly as he walks. No doubt it has technology that adapts to the rainy seasons, but its mechanics are invisible, making the bridge look as though it's magically levitating, mere millimeters between the surface of the lake and the path his feet take. One of the double doors is slightly ajar, an invitation that he accepts.
N'ktara is a phorot, a lizard-descended people from an Outer Rim planet. Phorots prefer warm climates, never fidget, eat an exclusively carnivorous diet, have no gender, and stole their space travel technology long before they would have invented it for themselves. N,ktara themself, doesn't trust members of other races (with a few exceptions), speaks softly, uses their tail to cheat at cards, and wears rings on each of their 16 fingers.
The shrine's main room of worship is circular and N'ktara stands dramatically in its center. "Kylo," they say, dipping their helmet slightly in deference, but not subservience to his higher role in the Knights.
"N'ktara," he replies. He puts a hand on their shoulder, a gesture of camaraderie which they may or may not respond to. He knows well enough by now not to guess how they'll react to anything.
"The rendezvous is not scheduled for several hours." Their way of letting Kylo know that he's early.
He's not going to admit that he's felt like a caged animal aboard The Finalizer; it's never good to confess weaknesses to this group which has a… delicate loyalty. Instead, he nods, just acknowledging the early time without giving a reason for it.
"I was planning to meditate until then."
"I can join you," he offers. It's been far too long, months, since he's meditated with another force user. The depth of the mind seems to take on new dimensions when it grafts to another's.
They consider the offer, sharing their thoughts with him, that they would hesitate to lose focus here, but since the contact won't arrive for hours, there would be less risk involved. He offers his own thoughts, that they have a point, but they can control how far in they go, that they needn't actually go into a trance which they would probably be inclined to do under less dangerous circumstances.
"I agree to your offer," they say. "But, let us use the basement. There is a lockable hatch door and the stairs are in dangerous condition."
"Sounds perfect," he replies ironically. N'ktara doesn't seem to catch it, but leads the way. He follows behind them and tries not to think for the thousandth time how useful it would be to have a tail. Jealousy is one of the weaker emotions for the darkside, because it is built around a deficiency in the user rather than a strength. Anger and hate, which Kylo has in spades, is much more potent. Still, he's seen N'ktara use their tail for things as mundane as carrying an extra plate to wielding a lightsaber, though the latter was done quite poorly. "Have you still been practicing with your tail?" he asks.
The hatch that they open is a stone one, but mechanized to slide back and forth easily. Beneath the hatch is a set of wooden steps. As they'd warned, the steps look brittle and groan loudly under their feet. Should it collapse, it would be easy enough to jump the remaining distance to the floor, but it holds, complaining loudly about the chore. N'ktara force-slides the hatchway back shut after they are firmly on the damp stone and wood-mixed floor.
He now sees their mask by artificial fire light, projection flames in electronic sconces set on the wall. The entire shrine is built with a rustic ancient feel, though Kylo's sure that the planet hasn't even had inhabitants longer than a few centuries. Emperor Palpatine enslaved the Mon Calamari during his brief reign, so there had been no one to keep up temples on worlds within Empire influence during that time. Apparently, Takodan is not one of the higher priority worlds for the newly freed aquatic creatures to return to.
He senses amusement from N'ktara at his question. His fascination with their tail has long been a source of teasing for them. "I'd be better off attempting to wield my saber with my toes," they joke. "Still wishing you'd been born a phorot?"
Kylo removes his helmet. The moldy air smell hits him immediately, and he almost regrets the decision. He hates humidity for the way it sinks into the pores and the bones, the way it rots wood and bread. N'ktara follow suit as he replies. "I no longer seek to change the past."
"That is an enviable mental state," they say. Kylo denies the part of himself that objects to its veracity. "I would like to begin with our current assignments."
Kylo removes one of his gloves, offers his naked hand, fingers pointed up towards the shrine above them, palm flat, to N'ktara. They respond in kind and he can feel the roughness of their scaled skin against his own. He'd preferred the cool touch to the warmer touch of the other knights'. Somehow it made it feel less intimate which is silly since their minds will delve more deeply together than their hands.
N'ktara's mind is like a vast desert with huge rocks obscuring the landscape. They've got secrets, ones safely tucked behind boulders, but the thoughts and permitted memories roll along like sand pushed by a gentle wind. He sees N'ktara dangling from a tree branch in a dank swamp, awaiting a victim. He can feel their excitement, anticipation, and then finally their dark joy as they assassinate their intended target. He sees them on a battle cruiser, at first he thinks its The Finalizer, but no, just another of the same build. They're listening to speeches, battle plans, watching as they destroy a vessel that has gotten too close to their mining operations. He feels their frustration, being a useless observer. He can relate more than they know. There are other recent missions, and he takes down the important details, but lets most of it drift by. He's getting an overall feel for what Snoke has the other knights doing, feels relieved that N'ktara, at least, is also unutilized for long stretches of time. He almost uncovers one of their secret rocks by accident, stumbling upon some thoughts during a kill. Something about a hatchling. He withdraws himself from it quickly, remembering acutely that this is voluntary information and they owe him nothing of their personal self.
'You're attracted to the General.' N'ktara thinks, observation sounding judgment-free.
In his surprise, Kylo opens his eyes. They still have their nictating membranes shielding their vision, so they probably don't notice. He settles back down, feeling their unspoken assurance that this is between them. Just as he wouldn't trust any of the knights with his life, he doesn't trust any with his feelings. Nonetheless, he's risked his life beside them many times, and they know his feelings, because it's nearly impossible to train in the force with someone and come away defended.
'His view of the world is similar to my own. I sense a kindred spirit there.' It's a large confession, for himself more than for them. N'ktara doesn't care, but Kylo keeps trying to put his thoughts about Hux in the right context.
'Or a mate.'
Suddenly, Kylo wishes he hadn't been so respectful of their thoughts. He almost feels like overturning information about the hatchling, just to strike back.
N'ktara plays a memory for him, Snoke's voice. Just hearing it, even as a secondary voice pulled from the past, strikes fear in him, intimidation. "Emotional attachments can be exploited."
Snoke wasn't wrong. Kylo has only been able to see the lingering affection he feels for Ben's mother as a weakness, one that he hides away deeper than perhaps anything else, deeper than N'ktara is capable of finding. 'The Supreme Leader is correct, as always.'
The rest of the meditation continues uneventfully, at least compared to their poking about in his growing fondness for Hux, and they finish with plenty of time to prepare for the contact's arrival. His worry gets sets aside easily enough, mind disciplined enough to focus on the task at hand when it counts, though perhaps not disciplined enough to heed his master's advice about attachments.