Dog Days
(Monday, August 1, 2016)
10: From the Laboratory Notes of Dr. Stanford Pines, Ph.D., .Ph., M.D., etc. etc.
Interim report on Subject Cf-1.
The subject is a physically healthy, somewhat undernourished specimen of Canis familiaris, specifically a specimen of the breed "Carolina dog" (designation currently under review by the American Kennel Club, but acceptance seems likely within the year—see internet site akc org/ dog-breeds / carolina-dog /). Specimen weighs 5.58 kg, is alert and responsive to commands, and appears to understand human language much more readily than the average dog.
Query: Is this because of the dog's ancestry? Designated as "primitive dog," having characteristics similar to images and skeletal remains from ancient India. Should research.
Stage 1: Testing Cf-1 for ability to understand English
Procedure: Cf-1 was isolated in a room with a camera to record observations. On a low shelf accessible to Cf-1 were ten different items: golf ball, tennis ball, baseball; yellow wooden blocks in the forms of a triangle, cube, and rectangle; stuffed toys representing a rabbit, a squirrel, and an oversized ladybug; and as a control, a soup bone.
Two human assistants, M.P. and M.(D.)P., familiarized Cf-1 with the objects, naming them and letting the animal pick them up and sniff them. After fifteen minutes, M.P. warned the subject not to touch the items until he heard a command. The animal was left in the room with a pad on the floor and the items. The closed-circuit camera was in operation.
For five minutes, the subject lay on the pad. It would intermittently look around, but never approached the shelf or the items. Then over a speaker, M.P. gave the command to "move the yellow cube to the right end of the shelf."
Cf-1 rose, approached the shelf, took the cube in his mouth, and transferred to the right of the soup bone, then returned to his pad. M.P. gave him a string of instructions, having him sort the items by size, by material, color, etc. Some tasks took Cf-1 longer than others, but the subject accomplished them all without error.
Cf-1 has been taught paw signals for reposes "yes" and "no," specifically to raise his right paw for "yes" and his left for "no."
Once phase one had been completed, M.(D.)P. took over as communicator. Again, he was isolated from the room in which the subject waited. Over the speaker, he asked Cf-1 to face away from the shelf (thus the subject turned and faced the camera) and to answer ten questions.
1. Is the tennis ball yellow? (Response: yes. The ball is a greenish-yellow tint, which dogs would perceive as yellow)
2. Is the triangle round? (Response: no)
3. Is the ladybug round? (Response, after hesitation: yes. The toy is like half a sphere and so is more round than any other simple shape definition)
4. Is the squirrel on the shelf a real animal? (Response: no)
4-A. (At my suggestion) Are there squirrels who are real animals? (Response: yes)
5. Can you eat the cube? (Response: no)
6. Can you eat the bone? (Response: yes)
7. Can you show us how many blocks there are? What is the number? (Response: Cf-1 glanced at the shelf, then tapped out 3 with his paw)
8. How many of these things have fur? (Response: two taps. The ladybug is made of tough canvas, but the rabbit and squirrel toys have fake fur)
9. Do you think you have done well on this test? (Response: yes)
10. Do you like M.? (Response: enthusiastic wags of tail, yes)
I will supply an addendum with the next phase of testing, since it was recorded on video and frankly must be seen to be appreciated. In summary, the subject appears to have a phenomenal level of understanding of both spoken and written English. Even when shielded from the Clever Hans effect, it responds correctly more than ninety per cent of the time and showed evidence of being able to read such words as "dog," "bed," "ball," "shelf," "left," and "right," among others. That will be dealt with in the video addendum.
Stage 2: Debriefing
Satisfied that the subject had a satisfactory level of understanding, and using my two helpers as intermediaries, I questioned the subject regarding a number of concerns. The following will distill the responses from "yes/no" questions and from limited spelling-out, which is difficult for the subject.
THE FOLLOWING BEARS A CODE U SECURITY LEVEL.
The origins of the dog's increased intelligence: I surmise it has something to do with Artifact Prime-1 (see secret files, GF-Anomalies). The subject has a memory of sleeping on the hill above the buried relic before somehow becoming conscious of higher levels of thinking.
The stone effigy BC-42 (see secret files, GF-Anomalies). Cf-1 senses what I can only call a fragility effect near BC-42: the feeling, the intuition, that the area has a more tenuous reality than any other location. Further, Cf-1 thinks—yes, I now firmly believe that a dog can reason and form conclusions, or at least this one can—thinks that something from "outside" is working to use the object to penetrate our reality. See notes on the Nightmare Realm, Journals 3 and 4, Stanford F. Pines.
My human aide M.(D.)P. has some psychic connection with the remnants of the entity BC-1 (see secret file "Dip-Psy"). He is convinced that the entity called "Bill Cipher" (my designation is BC-1; see extensive notes in Journals 2, 3, and 4, by Stanford F. Pines) is NOT behind whatever is happening with the effigy BC-42.
Hypothesis: Entities left in the Nightmare Realm after the closing of the Rift in August 2012 (see secret monograph "Weirdmageddon: A History," by Stanford F. Pines) are attempting to lever the remnants of entity BC-1, represented by the effigy, to gain admission to our reality.
Problem: Destroying the effigy may speed the process of breaching the walls of reality along. More study urgently needed!
Next steps: Keep Cf-1 in the process. Treat him not as a lab animal, but as a partner. Believe what he says—he seems unfamiliar with the term "lying" and unable to do it.
KEEP HUMAN HELPERS AND THEIR FRIENDS SAFE.
At all costs, keep them safe. At ALL costs.