Kendall's P.O.V.
I was shivering, and I was very weak in my legs and my arms. But walking backwards slowly, and carefully to look up at the beautiful lights I just put up on my house made all my aches and pains in my body go away fast. Finally, after almost 6 hours of climbing up and down the ladder, laughing and reminiscing with James and shivering at the harsh howling wind and snow, the Christmas lights were up. They were the ones that twinkle. Well the ones handing from the garage were. The other lights, lining our entire house, even around the windows on the second floor were the multicolored, big, bright classic looking ones. Logan was a genius decorator and house flipper, but one thing always stayed true to him: Christmas was to always remain classic. Which meant the decorations were simple and easy. Big fancy lights and yard decorations were a no-no. We had at least 5 deer's that lit up, still in the garage but he wanted to be here when I put those out around our yard. Other than that, on the outside of our house, it would look simply, yet beautiful. Much like our relationship. "Damn dude…fucking jealous of our work." I laughed looking at James who walked out from the garage pulling his hood on as he got beside me and looked up at the house with me, standing on the end of my driveway. "Logan is going to love this."
"Yeah if he ever gets home." He chuckled beside me shoving his hands into his pockets shivering. "He sent me a text about 45 minutes ago saying he was coming home, with Carlos and dinner. I tried to tell him it's getting way to bad out here for him to drive but…" I quickly glanced over my shoulder at the completely white street behind me and squinted at the fast, heavy and big snowflakes falling down around me.
"He'll be alright man. He's a good driver. Beside…knowing you and he have a high possibility of cuddling he'll make it his mission to get home to you." I smirked as I turned to him seeing him smiling up at the bright lights shining down on his face. His face, I must have just noticed, was red, and his lips were trembling from the cold. It made me gently reach out and grab his arm as I started to walk back to the garage.
"Let's go get warm and have a drink."
"I'll definitely get warm, but I can't drink. Gotta drive." I snorted as I ducked into the garage fast and walked around my car going right to the door.
"You better leave before Logan gets back then. He's not going to want you to drive out in this." I heard him sigh behind me as I opened up the door to get in the house and hit the garage door button fast as I laughed. "Don't even get me started on how that makes sense. Especially with him out right now."
James and I quickly took off our snow boots, our jackets and beanies, and put them in front of the fire to dry faster. I took him out to our huge, clean bright kitchen and had him sit at the island as I went to work, quickly on making us both drinks. I decided on something warm, and made two hot totties, When I finally sat down beside him taking a long careful sip of my drink and noticed he was staring at me, one hand on his cup the other lying on the island counter top. As I lowered my cup and licked my bottom lip I hunched forward a little and frowned. "What?" He laughed and shook his head looking out to my kitchen raising his cup to his lips. "I really…really want you to know something James. No matter what happens between you and Carlos, you can come to me. Especially if it has something to do with Carlos." He nodded as he lowered his cup. He opened his mouth, to say who knows what, but the sound of the front door opening, and two soft voices made me jump up fast and walk out to it. I smiled big instantly seeing Logan with his back to me, as he shut the front door and locked it. He was covered in snow. And then he turned to me, unbuttoning his jacket, holding a bag of some sort of take out, smiling wide.
"Hi baby." I walked out to him slowly noticing Carlos standing beside him, his head down, his hands shoved into his pockets of his jacket. "James is still here, right?" I nodded fast as Logan closed up the space between us handing up the bag of food to me. "Well…I promised Carlos he could stay in the guest room I just finished up. So, James is going to have to crash on the couch." I nodded looking over Logan's head to Carlos still by the door. There was a kiss to my neck as he quickly took the bag back form me. "Would you mind helping him get some towels? He wants to shower before he eats." I looked back to Logan fast and nodded as he smiled and slipped his free hand over my budge in my jeans. "The lights look great out there, by the way." I laughed and bent down slightly kissing his lips. He pushed into me hard but stepped away fast clearing his throat. I looked right at Carlos who was finally looking up and felt my entire heart snap in half. His eyes were sunken in, and he looked pale. Like he was sick. But I knew all to well, that he wasn't sick with the flu or the cold. He was probably hurting without having any liquor in him. It made me walk to him fast, which for some reason made him step back, and press up against the front door. I continued on to him and quickly put a hand on the back of his head and pulled him into me hard. He gasped out as his arms went around me and hugged me softly. I set my chin on his head and put my other arm around his shoulders gently rubbing them. He sniffled quietly under me as I sighed out and tried like hell to find the right words to say. Nothing came to mind.
After hugging him for a couple minutes I walked him to the spare room downstairs Logan had just finished decorating, neither of us saying a word. I took his coat from him and hung it up in the smallish closet, turning back to the door. I cleared my throat and flipped on the hall light and opened the linen closet hearing him walk out behind me. "You need some clothes?" I grabbed a huge towel along with a white robe Logan bought specifically for guests and turned back to him shutting the door with my butt.
"Uhm…yes. Logan said I could borrow some of his sweats and a shirt." I nodded walking past him and went right to the guest bathroom turning on the light. "Listen…Kendall…" I saw him stop by the sink as I set his towel and robe on the sink but shook my head pulling back the shower curtain.
"The left handle is cold. Right is hot." I turned and took a step to walk out, but he blocked me.
"I'm sorry." My shoulders fell a little as he shrugged his own and looked right in my eyes. "I've come to terms with the fact that James and I are never going to be the same. Hell…we probably will never be together again. But I can't feel the same about you. You are the closets thing to a brother I've ever had and…"
"Then why have you lied to me?" He froze, and I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows. "James didn't cheat on you Carlos. And he isn't the giant dickhead you've been telling Logan and I he is. That is shitty, you know, that right?" He bowed his head down quick and started playing with his fingers. "If you had come to me…at any point really, I maybe could have helped. Maybe Logan could have helped. But you chose to be a selfish stubborn jackass who likes to throw pity parties for himself. You chose to go to the bottle instead of me. The closets thing to a brother you've ever had." He looked up at me fast and I shook my head. "I am not going to let you come back to work, until you are sober. And I mean 100% sober Carlos. I can't risk my business…our business with a drunk easily spooked dick with anger issues." He closed his eyes fast and a few tears fell out. I felt no pity. I know I was coming off extremely harsh but with someone struggling with addiction, sometime the harsher, the better. He however, in typical Carlos fashion, was going to cry wolf and have James and probably Logan, defend him. That might make this whole situation worse for him.
"Okay Kendall." I lowered my arms fast from my body as he opened his eyes and continued to cry. "I will get sober. I promise you, I will fix this. I am so sorry I have done any of this, including going into work drunk and jeopardizing your whole lively hood. I'm sorry." My brain short circuited. He was apologizing? That was not very typical of an addict. Usually, everything wrong in their lives, is everyone else's fault. "Logan…he said he was going to talk to you first, but…he said if I needed help, I could always come here, and get it from you guys. I know that the only way I'm going to quit drinking…and I mean completely, I need help." I looked down fast breathing out hard hearing soft talking from out in the rest of the house, coming a little closer. "I don't trust myself alone Kendall. I…I need help." I moved forward fast, taking the 4 steps it took to get to him and pulled him into me. I hugged him tight just as Logan and James appeared in the doorway, Logan holding clothes, and James holding onto a steaming mug of something.
"Whatever you need from us, just let us know. We're here to help." There was a big smile that spread across Logan's face and it made my heart burst. "Why don't you take a shower, relax and get comfortable. We'll be out in the living room when you get out." He nodded against me before we pushed away from each other. He wiped his face fast and turned, to let me out of the bathroom, but stopped short seeing the two in the doorway. Logan quickly extended the clothes and Carlos took them looking away from James fast. I quickly walked out, putting a hand on Logan's shoulder, and pushed him out gently. As I walked past James we locked eyes. "Talk to him. But be gentle." He nodded once looking back into the bathroom as Logan pulled me away and down the hall.
Logan and I sat at the dining room table, him with his legs up on my own as we both ate quietly. He got a number of Chinese dishes from one of our favorite places. He got more than enough for 4 people to enjoy, but because the two in the bathroom, were still in fact in the bathroom, it looked like we over ordered. I took another bite of my sesame chicken as I looked at the huge amount of food and Logan pressed his heels into my left thigh. I glanced over to him seeing him very gracefully and skillfully using his chopsticks to eat his own chicken. I softly set a hand on his feet covered in socks still and he sighed out sitting back in his seat. "I think Carlos should stay with us until he's sober."
"I think Carlos should go to AA and move back in with his boyfriend."
"He doesn't have a boyfriend." I smirked as I reached for my beer and he laid his legs out over top of mine making me rub my hand over his sweats covered shins. "Do you think it's healthy to get right back into a relationship…the same one that led him to start drinking in the first place?"
"No. But Carlos is a grown man." Logan frowned setting his chopsticks down on his plate wiping his mouth with his napkin. "He isn't our responsibility Logan. We can't hold his hand through this. It has to be on his own terms at his own speed."
"He needs support."
"I agree. And the best place he can get that is in his own home with the love of his life." He chuckled as he grabbed his own beer and took a swig. "Obviously he can stay here for Thanksgiving. But if he starts to feel forced or pressured…he's going to spiral back into a dark place. And we'll be back at square one." Logan's legs were quickly off my lap and before I could put my fork down on my plate, he was pulling himself up on my lap. He put his hands on each side of my neck and held me in place, as he sat down on my lap, purposely pressing his groin into mine. I blindly set my fork on the table, trying to get it on my plate, but missing. I then quickly put my hands on his hips and sat back in my seat looking up at his big brown eyes.
"Do you remember the first time we kissed?" I smirked and nodded as he moved and put his lips just right in front of mine. "You took me by complete surprise. I think…no I know from the second you pressed your lips into mine I was in love with you." I closed my eyes as his breath cascaded down around my face and he pushed both hands to the back of my head, where he ran his fingers through my hair. "Besides the fact that you are an amazing kisser…do you know why I fell in love with you?" I opened my eyes back up as he grinded down on my crotch, again.
"Why?" He smirked as he grazed his lips over mine before softly biting my bottom lip. When he pulled away, his hands dropped down quick and while one cupped around my dick, the other pushed up and under the black hoodie I still had on. I moved my hands, to keep up with his speed, to his ass where I gripped harshly. He set his forehead on mine and closed his eyes, smiling small.
"Because the only reason you did it was because you were hurt by your best friend and your ex-boyfriend." His eyes opened back up and he gave me a devilish grin. "And then you fucked me in the front seat of your car before taking me to the hospital to get my knee looked at. You remember all that?" I laughed pushing both hands into his sweats and gripped onto his ass.
"What's your point?" He pushed into me, kissing me softly before trailing his kisses down to my cheek, and over my neck. He went right to my ear where he gently bit down onto before blowing inside.
"I know, you know…James and Carlos know how bad you felt for doing what you did. Because a part of you felt bad for Carlos. Because he apparently was into me." I moved one hand up fast and gently pushed him back, cupping his neck softly. "Do you know what that makes you?"
"A shitty person?" He frowned sitting back on my lap taking his hands off me. "What does any of this have to do with Carlos?"
"Your kind, big heart faults you Kendall. You aren't going to let anything happen to Carlos Kendall. That's why I love you." He smiled small raising one hand and ran it through my hair. "You care with your whole heart. No matter how many times someone hurts you, you find it in your heart to forgive and move on. Carlos…this situation is going to be no different. No matter how mad you are at him." I dropped my hand from his neck and looked down at the plain white t-shirt on him, smiling small. "You are such a good man Kendall. And you don't deserve half the shit that's been thrown at you. But Carlos needs our help."
"Okay." I looked back up to him and smiled wider. "You convinced me." He laughed grabbing the sides of my face and shoved his into mine. He kissed me hard, and immediately with an open mouth. I let his tongue glide around mine as he pushed up on me, pressing his dick down into mine. "I just want you to know…" I pulled away from his mouth, however he continued to kiss me down to my Adam's apple where he sucked. "It's not that I don't' want to help Carlos." I stopped as he continued to assault my neck and rub his dick on mine. "I don't want to have to see him in pain. And his withdraw from alcohol will be painful." Logan slowly pulled away from me, frowning again, just as I heard two pairs of footsteps lightly walking into the dining room. I turned my head fast and smiled wide at the two walking into us. Carlos, to my surprise was wearing the same sweater James has been wearing all day. And James had one hand on the back of Carlos's neck, both of them smiling small. Carlos blushed looking at Logan sitting on my lap, before he quickly went to the other side of our dining table and sat down clearing his throat. James wasn't too far behind and when they were both sitting, Logan pushed off me, and took his seat pulling his chair in closer to the table, picking up his chopsticks. "Take a shower Los?" I sat up slowly and glanced over to see James putting a plate in front of Carlos, quickly scooping rice onto his plate for him.
"Yes. It was really nice. The towels were super soft too Logan. You were right." I smirked picking up my fork looking over to Logan who was glowing as he again, used his chopsticks like a pro. "I…I appreciate you letting me stay here guys. Seriously."
"We're family Los. You are always welcome here." I nodded at Logan's words making Carlos sit forward and grab another pair of chopsticks. "Which means, you guys get to pick the movie tonight. Nothing scary." I sat back grabbing my beer seeing James glance over to me, smirking.
"Scary one Kendall?" Logan snapped his head to me fast and I nodded once. I was slapped on my chest hard by Logan who took the beer form my hand and stood up drinking the last of it as he walked into the kitchen. I only watched him until he was no longer visible and turned back to the other two. Carlos was looking down at the plate in front of him as James put some more food on it. I wanted to ask if their talk was a positive one but remained quiet noticing something a little…off. James looked nearly the same. Maybe a little happier. And Carlos, besides his eyes still sunken in, and his hair wet form his shower he looked…sad. I couldn't understand what it was. Until Logan walked back in. Carrying three beers. Carlos looked right up at him, and immediately sat back crossing his arms over his chest. Once Logan sat down, sliding a beer over to James who smiled big at it quietly thanking him. As Logan slid one over to me, I reached out softly, grabbing his arm and leaned into his ear.
"Carlos…" I pushed away fast sitting back in my seat and saw Carlos stand and shake his head.
"I need to use the restroom." He walked away from the table fast and disappeared within seconds. I swallowed hard and saw Logan blushing, pushing his beer away from him.
"I didn't even think…"
"It's okay." I put my hand on the back of his head and pulled him into me kissing his temple. "It's something we'll all have to get use to. Don't worry." He pushed away fast, grabbing his unopened beer and walking back into the kitchen fast. I looked across the table to James who was leaning on it, covering his mouth with both closed fists. "I…"
"He told me…while we talked, and he showered he wants me to move back in with him. To help him get sober. I told him I would."
"That's a good idea man." He nodded sitting back and grabbed his beer, opening it fast. "You do know, though, it's not going to be easy, right?"