Warning: there are non-graphic mentions of child abuse in this chapter.

Kamuel: Angel of Courage

(Why can't I stop crying?)

Kam opened his eyes, staring out into the world through the tears that wouldn't stop falling. He rubbed at his face, trying to push them away.

(I'm so scared.)

"Shh..."

Kam's head snapped up. He expected to see the terrified eyes of the mad woman. She never liked it when he'd cry or plead to her to stop hurting him. She always said that he was the one hurting her and that she should be the one crying. Kam didn't understand.

The eyes that bore into his now were not terrified, nor were they that of the mad woman. These eyes were kind.

"You're okay, little guy. We're almost home."

(I don't have a home.)

Kam buried his face into the thin jacket wrapped around him. He remembered now. The mad woman was gone now and Kam was somewhere new. The two men rescued him. He didn't know them personally, but he knew of them. Kevin Tran and Bobby Singer, they were friends and family of the Winchesters and Kam's brothers.

(Am I safe?)

The sound of something loud knocking against hardwood reached Kam's ears. Shivers ran down his skin and with shaking fingers, Kam clung tighter to Kevin's thin T-shirt.

(I'm scared. I'm scared.)

"Kevin! I was starting to get worried," a woman cried suddenly and Kam stiffened in Kevin's arms. "How'd it..." She stopped. Kam could feel her eyes on him. "Is this-"

"Yeah," Bobby interrupted. "This is him."

"Angel?"

The angel in question chanced a glance up. His eyes met Kevin's.

"I'd like you to meet my mom. Her name's Linda," he said softly, nodding at something behind Kamuel and out of his sight.

Slowly, Kam turned his head, eyes falling onto those of a woman's. As expected of Kevin's mother, she looked a lot like him. She had the same dark hair, nose, and gentle eyes. She smiled, but Kam didn't smile back.

(I can't.)

He just sat frozen in Kevin's arms, eyes wide and face covered in tears both wet and dry.

Linda moved to the side after exchanging a few quick words with Bobby and Kevin. Kevin started moving again. He carried Kam into the house Linda had come out of and Kam felt his heart speed up.

(No, please, not again.)

"Shhh," Kevin hushed softly, he stroked his fingers through Kam's hair and gently settled on a nearby couch.

"Hey!" A grumpy voice cried from somewhere nearby. Kam yelped in shock of it and clung to Kevin's neck as if he could hide there from the loud thing that had frightened him. There was movement on the couch and with wide eyes, Kam watched as a little girl squinted at him with tired eyes. No, not a little girl. She had wings.

(I know her.)

"N...Naomi?" he croaked.

Her eyes widened. "Kamuel," she whispered, realization in her voice.

Mrs. Tran knelt down beside the couch, reaching out and stroking Naomi's bed head. "What was that, honey?" she asked.

Naomi swallowed and held a shaking finger up at where Kam was crying in Kevin's arms.

"His name is Kamuel," Naomi said and Kevin raised a brow.

"I've heard that name before," he whispered. He looked to Bobby and Kam did too, finding the hunter's eyes were wide with realization.

"Bobby?" Mrs. Tran questioned. "Who is Kamuel? What happened to him?"

"He was one of the angels Crowley kidnapped and sent to troubled homes. I remember his name..." Bobby pinched his brow like a headache was starting to come along. "Do you remember when Crowley and the sins kidnapped Gabriel, Balthazar, and Castiel?" Both Kevin and Mrs. Tran nodded. "Well, when we got them back, at the hospital Balthazar and Gabriel told us about the other angels that were caged up with them. They mentioned Michael and..."

"Kamuel," Kevin breathed.

Kamuel swallowed nervously.

(Crowley.)

His body started to shake again.

(What if he comes after me?)

Kevin's arm snaked tighter around Kam's body. The angel let out a choked sob, fear rising in his chest despite Kevin's gentle touches.

(What if he takes me back?)

"Kamuel?" The angel in question looked to Mrs. Tran through fat tears. "I know you feel frightened right now and that those feelings won't change right off that bat," she said slowly. "I just want you to know that you're safe here. I won't hurt you and neither will the others. We just want to help. May we help you?"

Kamuel stared at her. He didn't know what to say. It had been so long since someone didn't hurt him. Once upon a time, Kam was the angel of courage. He met obstacles head-on no matter how painful or threatening because he was brave enough to move forward. Crowley and the mad woman had taken that away from him. Kamuel feared to take that simple step forward now. He was no longer worthy of his god-given name.

(I'm worthless.)

(I'm a disappointment.)

(I'm nothing.)

"No," Kamuel whispered. He slumped in Kevin's arms. His mind and body felt heavy. "No point."

"What do you mean by that? Mrs. Tran asked.

"I'm nothing."

"Bullshit," Bobby swore. Kam flinched at the harsh words, but Bobby didn't seem to care. His eyes were boring into Kam's blazing with anger. "Nothing doesn't exist in this family, alright? You're a part of it now so you might as well get it through your head now."

(Family?)

"Bobby, come on-"

"No, stop right there, Kevin. He needs to get that nothing BS out of his head. I've seen what those thoughts can do. The longer they're there the worse things get." Bobby knelt down on the floor in front of the couch, his bones creaking at the motion. "You are somebody, kid. You're a Winchester, Singer, Tran..." Bobby trailed off, shaking his head. "You're all of them, understand? You have a family now, one that loves and cares about you."

(But...)

"But...I'm so scared..."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Kevin joined in. "being scared makes you stronger."

"Braver even," Bobby added.

(Brave?)

"By challenging our fears, we become stronger," Mrs. Tran said gently. "I am scared I'll lose my son, but I challenge my fear every day by believing in my son and being there for him when he needs me."

"Thanks, Mom," Kevin said warmly and the two shared a smile.

Kam watched them for a second before looking down at his hands. He traced over the cuts and bruises with his eyes.

(I'm nothing.)

"No," Kamuel hissed. He shook his head and closed his eyes. His fingers wound up in his thick hair, yanking at the strands.

(I am brave.)

He looked up at his sister and three humans in the room. They stared at him, waiting for him to make the next move.

"I'm brave," he said out loud. He held his arms out. "P...please, help me."

The three smiled at him and Mrs. Tran plucked him out of Kevin's arms. She placed a gentle kiss on his brow and smoothed a hand through the mess of feathers on his back.

"Okay," she whispered into his ear. "Okay."

They started by giving him a bath. Kevin stayed in the living room with Naomi, leaving Mrs. Tran and Bobby to clean the dried blood and grime off of Kam's body.

Kam poked the yellow rubber duck floating in the sudsy water, his mind slightly distracted by its company.

"How are you feeling, Kiddo?" Bobby asked as he lathered soap into the feathers around the base of Kam's right wing. He and Linda had been asking Kam a lot since they started. When one of their hands brushed against a bruise and Kam felt the fear building back up in his chest again, they pulled their hands away and moved around the tub so he could see them. The images of Crowley and the mad woman would slowly drain away again and both Bobby and Mrs. Tran would talk to him softly until he was out of whatever world his mind had pulled him. It was nice. Their actions made him feel...

(Safe.)

Kam flexed his wings, shivering at how much better both his skin and feathers felt to finally be cleaned and properly brushed through.

"I'll take it that we're still good then," Bobby huffed, moving farther up Kam's wing. "I think we're almost done anyway. I've gone through your wings three times now."

"Yeah, same here," Mrs. Tran said while running her hand through the dark strands of Kam's shoulder length hair.

The two of them checked him over a few more times before finally deeming Kam clean enough. Mrs. Tran rinsed him off and Bobby plucked him from the tub, rubbing him down with a thick blanket before helping him into a soft green onesie.

"Do you want to keep your ducky?" Mrs. Tran asked. She pulled the yellow creature from the tub water and held it out to him. Kam took it, squeezing it twice before hugging it close. Mrs. Tran smiled at him and Kam found himself smiling back.

Bobby carried him back to the living room then. Kevin and Naomi were on the couch watching something on the TV and laughing happily. When Kamuel showed up though with Bobby and Linda, Kevin turned down the TV and smiled up at Kamuel warmly.

"Well look at you," he cooed. "There is a cute angel under all that dirt." Kevin stood then, leaving a spot open on the couch. He walked up to Bobby and Kam. Slowly, he placed a hand over Kam's. Kamuel flinched at first, but as his eyes skimmed over Kevin's gentle face, he started to calm.

(Family.)

"Is it okay if we fix up those cuts now?" Kevin asked. "We can wait if you want, but we'd rather do them right away."

(I don't want to hurt.)

"It might hurt," Kevin admitted. "But we'll be gentle. If you want us to stop, then we will, okay?"

"I'll be here too," Naomi said softly.

(Sister...)

(Family...)

(Safe.)

Kamuel relaxed and bobbed his head slowly. Kevin carefully took Kam and eased him down onto the couch cushion he had left empty. Naomi flopped down on her belly beside him, turning her head so she could stare into his wide blue eyes. She held out her hand, threading her fingers with Kamuel's for good measure.

The three humans started working on the wounds littering Kamuel's body then. Kamuel tried to focus on his sister and the duck he was crushing in a tight fist, but his silence ended quickly after Kevin pressed against a rather painful cut. Kam cried out, pleading for him to stop. Kevin quickly pulled away and Mrs. Tran reached out, brushing a hand through Kamuel's thick hair.

"Hey, you're safe, Kamuel. You're safe," she hushed. "We're sorry."

Kam took deep breaths and his heart slowly began to calm.

"Kam?" Kevin was calling him. "Are you okay?"

(I don't know.)

"Yes," Kamuel said instead. He turned his head to the side, moving from Naomi's eyes to Kevin's. The prophet's hand was hovering over Kamuel's head, unsure if he could touch the angel. Kamuel helped him by raising his head a fraction until Kevin's fingers bumped the top of his head.

Kevin smiled at him thankfully and started stroking at the angel's hair lightly. "I know it hurts, Kam, but we have to dress it or it'll hurt worse. Is it okay if we start up again or do you want to rest a little longer?"

Reluctantly, Kamuel decided against the later. Kevin and the others carefuly went back to disinfecting Kam's wounds and covering them with thick bandages. After that, Kamuel grew silent again, letting out a few whimpers here and there. Naomi chattered to him the entire time, telling him stories in an attempt to distract him from the pain in both his body and mind. Kamuel clung to her and her stories anchored him from drifting off to places he'd rather not be.

An hour and a half later, it was all over. Kam's wounds were all wrapped up, his hair was tied up out of his face, and his wings were clean and orderly.

Everyone had crammed onto the couch afterward to watch some TV and just relax. They were watching something called Netflix and there was currently a TV show with lion-shaped space ships. As interesting as the cartoon seemed to be, Kamuel wasn't paying attention. The little angel had wrapped himself in his wings and was currently curled up between Mrs. Tran and Bobby. His fingers carded through his wings absently as he let his mind wonder. It had been a long time since he last saw his wings' true colors. Under the dirt and grime were the colors of an eagle's flight feathers. At the tips, they were a dark brown. The rest was all white, except for the small speckles of brown where dark brown met white. They felt soft and warm against his skin and Kamuel could feel himself slowly drifting away to dreamland.

"Kam?"

The angel looked up from his feathers in time to see Naomi curl up against him. He stiffened, but when her feathers brushed against his, something seemed to click.

(I'm safe.)

He curled up closer to her, his eyes fluttering shut.

(I'm home.)

For those of you who don't remember him, Kamuel was one of the angels Crowley caged up in chapter 125. This is what Bobby is talking about in the first half of the chapter. Fun fact for you all that I learned while trying to decide on Kamuel's feathers: Kamuel is the angel of strength and courage in certain mythologies and an eagle is considered a symbol of strength in most cultures.

Hope you all enjoy the chapter. Kam and I will talk to you next chapter.