Confessions

Sam enjoyed visiting the bunker. Even after living there for so long, there were still parts of it that remained a mystery. Every day spent in it, Sam would always discover something new about it and what it held. Staying at the bunker was an adventure in itself.

Today, Sam's visit was one that he was sure would not make his top ten. After his nightmare the other day, Sam drove all the way to Kansas on his own. The others offered to come too but Sam had refused their companionship. He wanted to do this on his own.

Kali and Benny had been happy to see him and welcomed him into their home. However, when he revealed to them his reason for coming, the air suddenly went sour.

"Sam," Benny sighed. He was seated with Kali across from Sam in the library. "I realize you're worried but Crowley isn't the same Crowley as before."

"Hackling him about information would be like hackling one of your own about their past," Kali huffed. She leaned forward on her elbows and glared the Winchester down. "The next time you see Lucifer, question him about what he did to you in hell or..." She swallowed hard. "What he did to Gabriel when we all first met."

Sam flinched.

Kali's words hit hard. Sam knew she was being protective and trying to knock some sense into him but her words still hurt. There were plenty of angels and demons rescued so far that had left Sam and Dean bitter and enraged in the past. Yet, they had no choice now but to help and care for them. It was hard sometimes. Sam had to go for a walk multiple times just to blow off some steam just so he didn't blow up at one of the kids or drift off to a place in his mind he rather not venture. Dean was like that too sometimes but he didn't go for a jog or workout. He worked. Even if Baby was in top shape, Sam would catch Dean working on her. One time, Sam caught Dean scrubbing Baby clean for the fourth time in a row after visiting with one of their recently found angels.

Crowley and Abaddon weren't the only ones whose past melded badly with Sam and Dean.

"I don't want to hackle him for it," Sam reassured after a long stretch of silence. "I'm not going to do anything I wouldn't do with any of the angels."

"So what's your plan?"

"I'm just gonna talk."

Benny raised a brow at him. "Sorry, Sam, but you and Dean aren't really the best talkers."

Sam chewed on his lip. "I know that but...I want to try. If he shuts me down I won't force it. I'll back off. I swear."

Kali and Benny shared a long look between each other and Sam held his breath.

"Fine," Kali huffed. "But you won't be alone."

"Rachel will stay with you and Crowley. If she shouts for us you're done."

Sam nodded and stood with Benny and Kali as they pushed out of their seats. They led him through the Bunker, weaving through the endless halls until they came to a door with hello kitty stickers all over it.

Benny pushed the door open, revealing a bedroom with three small beds covered in endless piles of pillows and stuffed animals. Abaddon and Rachel were nestled in a pile of pillows together while Crowley sat on the floor with a picture book propped up in his lap.

The three looked up as their door was open and Sam was instantly blinded by three giant smiles.

"Sam!" the three cried and they bolted from their comfy spots on the bed and floor. Sam bent down so that they could hug him properly and nearly toppled over with the force of their hug.

"Why are you here?"

"Are my brothers here too?"

"Let's play!"

"I wanna build a fort!"

The three's eyes were alight with glee and amusement as they babbled to the hunter. A small piece of Sam's heart shattered when he realized that those smiles would probably be nonexistent by the time the day was done.

"Sam's not here to play today," Kali revealed. She scooped up Abaddon, earning a confused look from the two demons and angel. "He's here to talk to Crowley."

Crowley instantly stiffened.

"Rachel is gonna stay with you okay, kiddo?" Benny tried to reasure. Eyes going soft as he watched Crowley lean away from the Winchester.

"And we don't have to talk if you don't want to," Sam added. "That's fine too."

It wasn't fine.

They needed this talk.

Crowley looked between Sam and his little family. For a second, Sam thought Crowley would go running into Benny's arms and signal the end of Sam's visit.

He didn't, though.

"We can talk," Crowley said at last and Sam whispered his thanks under his breath.

After a moment, Benny and Kali made their way out of the room with a confused Abaddon. They shut the door behind them, leaving Sam alone with a confused and curious Rachel and Crowley in his arms.

"Sam?"

The hunter looked down at his the angel in his arms.

"What's this about?"

Right to the point. He should've expected no less from the angel.

A sigh left Sam's lips and he stood, taking the angel and demon up with him. He carried them to one of the three beds and set them down before taking a seat beside them.

"You guys remember when my house burned down, right?"

Crowley flinched and Rachel's wings instantly snapped out to wrap protectively around her brother.

"The demon that started the fire entered my home because there were hex bags in the walls. I..." Sam let out a shaky breath. "...I need to know if...if it was you who put them there, Crowley."

He was met with silent. Crowley stayed perfectly still wrapped in Rachel's wings. Rachel was just as still but her body was tense and ready to bolt to the door for Kali and Benny if she needed to. Sam couldn't help but smile at that. She knew Sam and saw him as family but Crowley was her brother now and she was ready to protect him from anyone no matter who they were to her.

"You don't have to answer," Sam went on in an attempt to clear the tension. "I just...I've been having nightmares about the fire happening again. If it was you, then there'd be nothing to worry about." He smiled at Crowley as best he could. "You're family now after all." Crowley's eyes widened at the words. "You wouldn't hurt us again. I know it. Heck, half the angels Dean and I've rescued don't have the best past with us. They're all our family now, though. They wouldn't do anything like they did in the past." Sam lowered his head then. "But if it wasn't you then whoever did do it might still be out there. They might come back and try to take my home away from me again." His voice was shaking but he didn't bother to try and clear it. "Dean and I...we can't go through that again. We can't lose our home again so please, Crowley, I need to know." Sam met the demon's eyes. "Did you put the hex bags in the walls?"

There was a pregnant silence.

"No."

The answer knocked the wind out of Sam. He swayed in his seat beside Crowley and Rachel. His body shook, fear and adrenaline thrumming through his body.

He tried to get up. The phone...he had to grab his phone. Dean needed to know. Sam needed to warn him-

A small hand grabbed Sam's hand and the hunter's attention was quickly drawn back to the demon by his side.

Crowley had crawled out from under Rachel's wings and was now curled close to Sam.

"One of my henchmen...they put the bags in on my orders."

The fear running through Sam shuttered to a halt and the Winchester stared at Crowley in surprise.

"Wait...so..."

"I had a number of demons following you and the others. When they reported back to me that you were going to move into that cabin I sent one of my people to set the hex bags up." Crowley looked down at his lap. "It was all part of the plan. I had been planning my little angel army for a long time."

"So...you had the hex bags put in so your demon could enter freely while possessing Cas?"

Crowley nodded. "He was to report to me information on the whereabout of the angels you found." Tears prickled at the corners of Crowley's eyes. "The idiot...he wasn't supposed to attack. He wasn't supposed to hurt anyone. He was ordered to just watch but..." Crowley looked up at Sam, tears flowing down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Sam."

A wave of relief flooded through Sam's body and yanked Crowley from the bed and into his arms. Crowley gasped, air knocking out of him at the force of Sam's tight hug.

"Thank you," Sam whispered. "Thank you. It's okay, Crowley." He ran his fingers through dark hair. "I forgive you. It's okay."

Crowley let out an audible sigh and buried his face in Sam's shoulder. The two sat like that in eachothers arms, Rachel joining them a second later to wrap her tiny rings around them in a protective and reasuring gesture.

Nightmares are something that will always haunt Sam Winchester. They're a part of him but his dreams of Cas, black eyes and burning flames would lose their bite now. Sam's home was safe and therefore, for now, so was his family.

This wasn't my favorite chapter to write but I hope it's okay. Next chapter is a Vali chap, though so that one should be more fun :)