Chapter V
The next day I woke up feeling good. After my classes MacGonagall told me to go to the fourth floor, and search for a frame with a lady wearing a strange hat. It wasn`t hard to find, let`s just say that Martha Tolkins isn`t a very subtle lady. Her hat was a thing with feathers and roses, that I really don`t want to know were came from. And it was bright pink. Indeed not very simple.
The Heads dorm is nothing out of the ordinary. When you get past the portrait, that is a small common room, with a sofa, two armchairs, and a fireplace. In the bottom there is a small bookcase with some books. It`s not the fancier place I have seen, but it`s good.
Next to the bookcase, on the left, were two doors that I think are mine and Hermione`s rooms. On the right, there is another one. The headmistress told me that my things would be in my room, by the time I got here. So I took the first door in the left and was immediately bombarded with red. That certainly is not mine.
I turned at the door and got to the next one. That is what I was expecting. Green and silver, with some black. My room was just the way I like. There is a four-posted bed, like in the slytherins dorm, a wardrobe, one table ( full of books that I recognize as mine ), a chair and an armchair. My trunk was at the feet of my bed, just like McGonagall had said.
When I finish putting my things in the right places, I got out of the room to look at what I think is a bathroom. And sure to my words it was. Two sinks, one bathtub and one toilet. After my little tour I had not much to do, so I grabbed my Transfiguration essay and went to the common room.
I was almost finished when the portrait suddenly opened. I could see Hermione and another girl with red hair, that I presume is a Weasley. Yes, she is Potter`s girl.
-Ginny, I told you that I would be fine. He isn`t like that anymore.
-One can`t always be too sure. Besides we are talking about Malfoy here, who knows what he may be thinking….
I have to give that to her, I wouldn`t trust myself. But that doesn`t mean that it isn`t still irritant to hear her saying that.
-I can assure you Weasley, that I don`t have any bad intentions.
The two finally noticed that I was in the room. Hermione looked directly at me with an apologetic face, and the red girl with a suspicious one.
-We didn`t see you there Draco, sorry.
-It`s not a problem Hermione.
Red made a surprised face.
-Since when did he call you by your first name?
-Since I told him to do so.
-Hermione you can`t be serious. Why are you so friendly with him? Do you remember what his aunt did to you? What HE did to you? I can`t believe it!
Granger made a serious face at that, and I glanced at the smaller girl. I was beginning to regret ever accepting this thing. The first day didn`t even ended, and I`m already getting myself in trouble.
-You two can keep talking about me like I`m not here. It`s not like I mind.
But they ignored me and keep talking.
-Yes Gin, I remember everything. The pain, the screams, the house, she. Every. Single. Thing. It`s not like I have forgotten all the names he called me, you can be sure that I remember every time. But the war is over and I don`t want to live like we are still there. He did horrible things, yes. I hated him – yes. But I don`t want it to be like this forever. He`s trying, and I am exhausted of hating him.
Ok, that cut me deep. I couldn`t move even if I wanted to. The room was silent and Weasley`s sister keep looking to me and Hermione.
-Fine. It`s your life, do what you want. But I will keep an eye on him. Sometimes you trust people too easy Mione. I will stay here until I have to get to the dorm. Ron will be furious when he finds out.
-This is something I`ll have to deal.
Hermione got to the doors next to the bookcase, and first entered my room, but a second later she got out and entered hers. Weasley stayed in the common room. She was looking at me like she wanted to finish me right there. And I don`t doubt that this is exactly what she is thinking.
-So…..Malfoy…..I think we have some things to talk.
-Go ahead, I`m listening.
She got next to me in the sofa, but didn`t sat. I glanced up at her face, and I have to admit that the way her eyes were made me unease.
-I don`t know yet what you are planning to do, but if you dare do something to Hermione, I won`t hesitate to kill you. And Harry and Ron would gladly join me.
I sighed and looked at the fire. It`s not like I wasn`t expecting something like that.
-I don`t think that if I say that I do not intend to do anything with Hermione, you would believe me. So all I have to tell is that if I do something, feel free to do whatever you want with me.
-I will keep that in mind.
And then she turned to go to Hermione`s bedroom.
-And Weasley
-What?
-Sorry for your brother. Know that I blame myself every day for that, and will keep doing it until I die.
She said nothing, and after a second I heard the bedroom`s door open and close.
-It could have been worse.
She was there until she could, and I have to say that if Filch hadn`t caught her, she is good. Hermione is still in her bedroom, and I don`t really mind if she don`t want to be in the same place with me. In the moment I am more worried about the next day. We have a meeting with the prefects, and it`s already making me sick just to think about what people will say.
But what can I say? It`s my fault because I agreed. I finished my essay half an hour ago. The room is silent, too silent for my liking. Just when I was getting up to go to my bedroom, Hermione came from hers. She was mumbling something that I couldn`t hear.
-Oh….Draco, you`re still here. I thought that you were in your room.
-Was just going there, don`t worry. The place is all yours.
-No! Wait, it`s not what I meant. You can stay, sorry. It´s just that I´m a little stressed out because of Ginny.
She headed to the sofa and sat. I was standing in the middle of the room, without knowing what to do. She put her elbows on her knees, and hands on her face. Oh dear Merlin, please don`t tell me she`s crying! I hate being with people when they cry. The thing is that you don`t know what to do.
-Hermione…..Hum…..I don`t know what to say…..Are you all right?
Good one Draco, it`s obvious that she isn`t fine idiot! I began to fidget when she made no noise. I don`t know if it`s better that I can`t hear her crying, or worse that she is silent. That is, until I heard her sigh.
-Can I ask you a question?
-Hum…Yeah, I think…Go ahead.
She looked up to my face, and I was a little relieved to see that she was not crying.
-What are you doing?
What kind of question is that? What is she talking about?
-Sorry ?
-Are you seriously trying to change, or this is just some plot? Because if it is, please Malfoy tell me. I really can`t play these games anymore.
What have I done? She was the one asking for a change!
-What are you talking about?
-I don`t want to trust you, and have to listen to people saying that they warned me after.
-Granger, I know that you don`t like me. I appreciate that you can still think about trusting me after that all. And I can tell you that I don`t intend to do anything. I`m really feed up with people telling that I am not good. But if you don`t want me here, I can go to McGonagall now and tell her that I can`t do it.
She was silent, and the way she keep staring at me make me a little angry. First she asks for a change, and after I have all the trouble with Blaise and McGonagall, she gives up?! Just because Potters girlfriend shouts and make a scene, that doesn`t mean that all I had done is for nothing.
-Ok, fine. I am sorry Draco. It`s just that she told me things that made me remember the past, and it still hurts too much. I want to believe in you, I really do. It will just demands some time.
-Well, if you doubt me every time someone tell you things, this wouldn´t work. I know that I don`t deserve your forgiveness, but it`s too much for me to have hope, and then see you take that away all the time. I`m sorry, I really am. I can`t say in words how much I am.
We stopped talking for at least ten minutes. I thought that it was time to go to my bedroom again, but she called me half way there.
-Don`t go away like that. Sit here. If we can`t even be in the same room without engaging an argument, tomorrow will be dreadful.
I thought for a minute, and then decided that it could be good. We were at the ends of the sofa, as far away from each other as we could.
-I don`t know much about you besides the jerk attitude. Tell me something. How`s your mother?
-She…..Is trying. I haven`t seen her for some time. After my father`s death she is silent, and doesn`t come out of her room.
-I know what you mean. Ron didn`t come out of his bedroom for a week after Fred`s death. The whole family were devastated. George still gets gloomy on dinners, and almost don`t do any pranks at all.
-I´m sorry about him too.
I really hate to talk about the war. It always brings the worst memories, and it reminds me every time that I was a heartless bastard.
-So you and Weasley are still together?
She smiled faintly, and it made me feel both happy and regretful.
-Yeah, after everything we decided that we could give it a try.
-Good. I said it would happen, but to be true, I always thought why it wasn`t Potter. I mean, he is Potter, and you two were together all the time, and don`t take it wrong, but he is better for you than Weasley.
She giggled a little.
-Me and Harry wouldn`t work. He is too much of a brother for me. Besides Ginny would kill me, she likes him since the first time she saw him. And Harry really loves her.
-And do you love Weasley? Oh, sorry! You don`t have to answer that.
-No, it`s Ok. I invited you to talk. Yes, I love him….. But sometimes I ask myself if it is the right kind of love.
The last part she told almost as a whisper, but I could hear. I changed the subject, and we talked for some time, before Hermione spoke that she was tired. But it was just after a long time looking at the canopy of my bed, and thinking about what she had said, that I could sleep.