CH 3

Every month Henrik met with Astrid's counsellor for an evaluation of the issues emerged in her theraphy. First the recurring dreams about the village, then the realization Astrid had no memories of Anna in her Danish house and lately the difficulty to overcome Alice's part in what happened, when her mother accepted the day out with Frank.
Henrik believed the guilt was mostly his, he pretended to be blind about the way his marriage was falling apart, realising how much he wanted his family only when it disappeared. The price of love had been hard to pay for eight years.
Still Astrid had a difficult time to deal with her mother's figure.
Still Henrik had to go on, he had grieved enough and Astrid needed hope.
It was a slow and painful journey for Henrik, who would discuss with his own psychologist the very themes brought up by his daughter.
When Saga moved her things in Denmark, Astrid was visibly happy and started talking about things to do together, about future and not past; her doctor confirmed a phase was opening up for the young woman, the building of a new family. Saga belonged to the future, becoming a positive influence for Astrid.
The same reason explained why Astrid decided not to submit the form for an acting role on Monday.
Changing for the night, Henrik told Saga he was quite sure she'd liked to play a part in the school play, remembering the costumes she created and the book of tales she wrote.
Saga replied that Astrid was starting to overcome her identity disorder and the choice to apply for the set design confirmed the transition she was making.
Henrik accepted her theory and Saga closed her pc to get under the covers. Her essay earned her a positive evaluation, the first exam of her course was half done.
"So do you think she 's feeling better now?"
"The traumas she suffered will remain in her for ever. We work to give her stability and reassure her as much we can."
"You're right, I'm too optimistic."
"You're a father who tries to protect. My own experience is a proof of how hard is to forget. But she's strong, she's a survivor."
"We're all survivors."
"Yes. We found each other."
"It was meant to be. I'm not a fatalist, but you're the best that happened to me since I lost them."
Saga pondered his words. Henrik was right, it wasn't sacrificing herself for Henrik, giving him their baby or finding Astrid for him. It was wanting him for herself, in a selfish righteous way.
Her journey of revelation cleared her mind about him, her doctor helped her in finding the patterns: she was driven by guilt and duty for years, now she was eager to express her needs.
No more restraining, no more denying how much Henrik meant for her and the relief she felt knowing it was the same for him. So after summer days at the sea and a short holiday spent in London - their first time there, as a family - she was ready to share house, the loss of the car simply accelerated the choice.
And they needed another car soon.
"I'm going to take Astrid at a conference for teenagers on Friday. About critical reading, there is the flyer at university."
"In Malmo?"
"Yes."
"If you drive me to work, you can have the car all day."
"We'll catch you after work."
"And we'll go to buy groceries, I'm planning a special dinner for your first exam done."
"Half exam."
"Whatever, it's to celebrate your achievement."

On Friday morning Saga was already at the driver's seat when Astrid and Henrik left the house: Astrid sat at her usual place behind the driver and Saga notice from the mirror she was curious.
"I'm driving you to school and Henrik to work. I'll catch you after school and we're going to Malmo for a conference."
"It's ok, dad? Today my class ends an hour earlier, but I can wait in the library."
"Yes Astrid, Saga thinks you'll like it. And she wants to do book shopping with you."
In the afternoon, a few parents were waiting for the students outside the school, Saga guessed they were families of Astrid's classmates.
Astrid was talking with two girls, then she greeted them and approached the car. One of the girls noticed Saga and called her mother, a tall woman with long auburn hair, to go out of the car; mother and daughter soon walked toward Saga .
"Astrid, where is your father?" The woman asked.
"He's at work, me and Saga are going to Malmo."
Maja's mother offered Saga her hand.
"Saga."
"Suzanne. Does Astrid's father know you're here? He's always the one who comes for Astrid or he calls another parent if he cannot."
Realization dawned on Astrid and Saga.
" Saga lives with us, she is dad's woman. You never met her before."
"I'm an ex detective. Astrid is safe with me."
"I'm sorry... I was worried, you know, to see somebody new pick her up."
Suzanne was a little embarrassed, but Saga promptly reassured her.
"Your attitude is right, better be careful and prevent risks. Citizen help is the base for police work."
"We parents met with all the teachers when school started, it seems we were short of one."
Later, Astrid was smiling in the car, thinking about the misunderstanding.
"You handled Maja's mom well."
"Her reaction was logical, after what happened to you. She's a clever woman. And I was not living with you when the parents met."
"I'm not a little child now, no one can trick me like frank did"
"You must be extra careful, with everyone. Henrik cannot loose you again."
"And you?"
"What?"
"Can you loose me?"

The conference hall was crowded and Saga and Astrid had to sit on the stairs like other people.
Astrid whispered she never imagined a similar attendance.
The relator was a famous professor and writer, Saga explained, she followed one of her seminar at university and was impressed by the communicating skills.
Starting from why it was so important for children and young adults to read, how to give them reasons - from having to, through wanting to and eventually needing to – concluding with tow to help them in finding the right books, time and reasons and always remembering everyone reads with "he" or "she" in the background, the lectured had the audience at her feet.
Saga took note of the proposed strategies, planning to discuss them with Henrik.
She liked the book discussion group idea, maybe she could start one in Astrid's class with the other parents.
They bought the Dickens book and a selection of readings suggested by the lecturer. Back home, Astrid in bed earlier than usual, with one of her brand new books, Henrik was curious to know the details.
He was positive with the discussion group idea, he 'd call Astrid's literature teacher soon.
Whatever increased the healthy bonds, inside their small family first, between Astrid and her friends second, it was good for Henrik.