Hi! My sem has officially ended which means I get to write more. Thank you everyone for your love and support and patience. Thank you. A few of you have asked me when I was going to update this, and I'm guessing the answer is now? haha
Unbeta-ed.
i hope you like it!
*hides under a rock forever*
She was not a teenager.
She was a full-grown, twenty-four year old woman who was capable of reigning in the hormones on parade and acting her age. She was not some eighteen year old girl who couldn't control her libido. She was a grown woman—which was what she always told himself whenever she met with the man she was dating (was that the right term, or was boyfriend the better term? They haven't really talked about it yet), and she was tempted to drag him in a closet or in her bedroom and have her wicked way with him.
Not that she expected him to say no—he wouldn't, she knew that, and he would only put a stop to it if he knew she was not at all comfortable with it, which was exactly what he always did—not letting them get too far knowing she wasn't ready.
It was stupid—really, really, utterly ridiculous borderline insane how she could keep this hypocrisy up. She would let him feel her up, had let him touch her intimately just the other night when they had been in her apartment again, alone. But she couldn't bring herself to go there.
They'd been dating for two weeks, maybe even a half—how ridiculous was that? But the way she felt for him now, it could have been months, years even. She felt things for him that she hadn't felt with the other men she'd dated. She felt so much for him, in fact, that she wanted to finally just give in to the urge and into him, let him have his way with her, she was almost a hundred percent sure he wasn't going anywhere anyway.
The thing was, she's not apprehensive because of him, or whether or not he would stay or if this relationship would stick and all that other nonsense she used to justify herself with when she would chicken out of sleeping with a man, boyfriend or not. She was apprehensive because she could see this going somewhere and that scared her. It scared her so much that she was afraid of taking the next step with him, which was logically where they were headed to anyway.
And that was the reason why she felt like a stupid girl—she was scared and instead of giving in, she gave an inch but not a whole.
Stupid.
God, she could not even imagine what mother would say. Her mother was as vulgar as she wanted, on the times that she wanted it, but Cora could still hear her mother's words drilling into her that her virtue was something she needed to protect and that it was important for her to keep it in tact (it wasn't the 1940's, but her mother still believed that). It was one of the reasons why even at age 20, Cora had been so apprehensive to lose her virginity, and had not told her mother of it. Of course, she was not under any illusions that Martha did not know she'd lost her virginity eons ago, but still.
It was something that Cora was so very tightlipped about, had been borderline prudish sometimes. And so it came as a surprise to her that she would let things happen with Robert (whatever has happened so far which had only been dry-humping and touching) the way they do, and sometimes instigate it—like they had two night ago where he'd been innocently running his hand up and down her arm, cuddling her as they watched Bourne Legacy on her telly. She'd looked at him, watched him instead of looking at what Aaron Cross was up to on the screen, she'd reached up and nuzzled her nose against his neck and pressed kisses against his skin, taking it in her mouth and sucking and nipping until she'd been able to illicit a moan from him. He'd turned to her then with narrowed eyes before tackling her and pinning her down on her couch, letting their lips press against each other, and then kissing her senseless until both their lungs burn and they part to catch their breaths.
She'd been gasping, heat pooling low in her belly, as he lined kisses down the column of her throat, hands passing everywhere up and down her body. She had carded her fingers through his hair, tugging whenever he would make sucking kisses on her skin, his fingers curling at the hem of her shirt before he's lifting it up and over her head, throwing it haphazardly somewhere behind him, the sound of it slipping down the floor left unheard when he'd started sucking against the flesh exposed by her black lace bra (honestly, she'd thought he'd like that one).
Apparently he had, because he'd growled low in his throat and looked at her in silent permission—to which she'd nodded—before lowering the cup of her pathetic excuse of a bra (in coverage anyway because it had done a beautiful job of pushing it up and catching his attention), and sucking on the pink tips hotly, making her moan. That night had ended spectacularly with both him and her reaching their climax pretty hard. They had still gone without actually having sex, which she hadn't been sure if she was grateful or annoyed about.
But now, now Cora didn't know what to do—because her heart and body says yes, go for it, go all the way, go big or go home, but her mind says no, not yet, not until they had fully committed to one another, or at least they've had a label of some sort, something akin to making things official. She felt like his girlfriend, anyway, and this was not high school, no need for such petty thing as labels. What her body screamed for her to do was what her conscience, which sounded a lot like mother if she was honest, told her not to.
And in the battle between mind and heart, her mind might have just won out this round.
Her thoughts plagued her as she walked out of the station and made her way to the Castle. She was performing that night, as it was a Tuesday, and she and Robert have agreed to just meet there. He had a meeting that would probably run through her first set. She didn't mind walking alone to the Castle from the station, she'd always done that before Robert had come along, but she missed him, anyway. She missed the way he would wrap his arms around her as they walked, missed him pressing kisses against her hair. She missed walking with him side by side, her hands clasped in his large ones.
The air was colder now, the change in months bringing in a change in the weather too, and she tightened her scarf around her neck, trying to stave off the biting breeze. The Castle wasn't so far away now, and in a few more steps she'd be in the comforts of the pub, welcomed by the warm heat of the thermostat.
She entered through the back door, sighing gratefully when she no longer feels like her nose would fall off because of the cold. She was no stranger to cold weather, the New York air could get biting too in the winter, but the icy chill in England still made her shudder.
Maybe she should wear a thicker jumper just as Robert had suggested.
She shook her head and placed her guitar at the far corner, placing her bag on the table near it. She took her coat off and hung it in the coat closet, next to the others'. Unwinding her scarf from her neck, she smiled when she spotted Elsie Hughes.
"Hello," she greeted pleasantly before dumping her scarf in her purse. She took a seat on one of the counter stools that are spread around the spacious kitchen. If there was one thing that she loved about the Castle was that it had a huge kitchen, which was mostly divided in two parts: the kitchen itself and the space or the lounge where the staff and the performers could hang at, should they need or want to.
Elsie, who was just coming out of her office, smiled at her and nodded. "What? your boyfriend isn't here yet?" she asked with a grin, waggling her eyebrows playfully at Cora.
Cora rolled her eyes. "He's not my boyfriend," she told Elsie firmly, because no, Robert was not her boyfriend…yet. Or at least, she and Robert hadn't talked about it yet.
It was Elsie's turn to roll her eyes. "Sure, keep telling yourself that," she said, chuckling. "If the way you kiss that man is any indication, I'd say he is, though."
Warmth flooded Cora's cheek and she bit her lip. So, okay, she and Robert hadn't really been acting as though they weren't together. But they were dating, so that should count, right?
"But he wouldn't be here till later, he has a meeting," Cora said, responding to Elsie's original question before excusing herself.
It was time to perform.
…
Robert was a patient man. Or at least he could be when he wanted to, and right now, with the situation with Cora, he wanted to be. She was worth waiting for. Of course it was rather silly, this rule of hers—not that he'd ever tell her that of course—but if this was what she wanted then he was more than just willing to roll with it. He wanted to keep her happy, and if this was the way she wanted to do it, then he'd do it. He would take what she was willing to give, meanwhile, because he didn't think he could go on without it. Her scent often lingered on his memory, her smile would never leave him for days, and her kisses…her kisses intoxicated him, and he just wanted to be with her every second of the day because there was nothing that he could compare to the feeling he'd get when she was in his arms.
He had never felt this way, not even with Adeline, and he'd been in love with her pretty hard before.
But Cora was just different, she brought out in him what he'd thought was dormant for so long, brought out in him what he hadn't even thought was a part of him. She made him happy, and he didn't care why or how, all he cared about was that she did, and she seemed to like doing so. She liked making him happy. And he was grateful for that.
But the same could not be said for this meeting with Jarvis, the marketing director, which was taking too long. He'd been listening to the man drone on and on about the newest project they ought to invest to. Murray, his lawyer and advisor, had been shaking his head a lot over the course of Jarvis' speech. Maybe it wasn't worth investing in.
He'd have to have a talk with Bates about it tomorrow. For right now, all he wanted was to be able to leave this space and go to the Castle and meet with Cora. It's way past seven now.
"We'll continue this tomorrow, Jarvis," Robert finally said as he looked up. He was getting exhausted, and he'd really rather be anywhere than here right now.
Murray nodded once, looking pleased, while Jarvis looked mildly enraged. But he'd acquiesced, nodding. Robert thanked them and he was out of the door before anyone. If he left now, he could still reach the Castle and hear the first set.
With that in mind he took to his car and drove away.
…
Cora had been in the middle of the chorus of Nothing New—a song she wrote about her parents—when Robert had walked in the pub. His eyes had been on her as he walked to their regular booth, and she'd smiled at him, wanting to wave at him but she'd been playing her guitar, so she settled with a nod. One that he'd returned, smiling back at her in that way that made her knees weak and her legs quiver.
She sang her song, her eyes never leaving his, and once in a while, when he'd smile at her, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from smiling back and biting down on her lower lip, feeling her heart flutter in her chest.
When she'd finished her sets, she walked back to the lounge and stored her guitar away before walking over to the front again to greet Robert. He'd been waiting for her, her drink already ordered and on the table when she'd arrived. He had a goofy smile on his face, and his arms were opened wide. She leaned in his arms before taking a seat next to him. He hugged her to him and kissed her once she was settled, and she could feel the butterflies in her stomach when he did, felt like she could float as his arms tightened around her.
"I thought you wouldn't be in after the first set?" she asked him when he'd pulled away. She reached for her Washington apple and took a slow sip, eyeing him curiously.
He shook his head, lifting his scotch and taking a sip. "We finished earlier than expected," he answers a bit vaguely. He leans down to rub their noses together, making her smile—he seems to know that he likes that because he always does it as a greeting. "And I wanted to see you, I was a bit eager, it seems."
She smiles at him, feeling like her lips would split somehow. She is happy, happy that he seems to enjoy her company and crave it as much as she did his. She slides down her hand and places it down on his leg, smiling when he covers it with his own. For the rest of the night, no matter what they might be doing, it remained in his grasp.
…
The next day had passed by like a blur. She had made plans with Robert and they were going out on another date. He'd told her that he'd found some new Italian restaurant that he'd wanted to try and had asked her if they could have dinner together. Of course she'd agreed, more than a little eager to be with him again. She wondered if that was normal to crave to be in the presence of someone all the time, but she didn't want to question it anymore. She was so tired of listening to her head all the time.
She was applying the last coat of mascara when her doorbell rang and she sauntered to the door, opening it to find Robert on the other side with flowers in hand. She grinned at him and stepped aside to let him in, closing the door behind them. He smiled at her and handed her the flowers, before taking her in his arms and kissing her, rubbing their noses together when he parted their lips.
"Hello, my gorgeous darling," he greeted, and for someone who had told her once that failed miserably at flirting, he was being a big one right now. "Are you ready?"
She nodded at him, taking herself out of his arms to walk to the kitchen. "I'm just going to put this in a vase, grab my purse then we can go." He nodded and watched her do as she said.
When she'd grabbed her purse and was ready to go, she walked out of the den and found him sat on her couch, leafing through the photo albums that she had not been unable to resist from bringing with her to England.
"Hey," she greeted softy, as to no startle him. She watched him look up at her and smile, pointing at the photo albums he'd been holding. "I brought them with me. Trust me, that isn't half of what I own."
He chuckled and shook his head, patting the seat next to him, and she gladly complied. "You look beautiful even as a kid," he complimented, making her blush. "Do you miss your family?"
She frowned, biting her lip and nodding. "Of course," she answered as she slipped her hand in his and laid her head on his shoulder. She looked through the pages with him as he flipped them over. "I miss them all the time but it isn't so bad now. Not when I have you." She looked up at him when she'd said it, and he looked down at her, rubbing their noses together.
He kissed her softly before helping her up. "Let's go," he urged. "We don't want to be late."
"Right," she'd said, excited for their night ahead.
…
The night went well. Actually, a bit too well, Robert thought. They had been teasing each other all night, exchanging meaningful glances and coquettish smiles. He'd held her hand all night, and at one point, she'd run her foot along his calf. His eyes widened at his brazenness, but had smiled at her, thoroughly enjoying her attentions. She'd kept it up in the car, leaving her hand on his thigh, dangerously close to where he is painful and growing, and she'd smirked at him, toying with him.
The moment they arrived at her apartment complex and had entered the lift, he had Cora pinned against the railings keeping her locked in his embrace as he kissed her senseless. He pushed his tongue inside her mouth as he kept his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Thankfully, they were alone in the lift, or it had to be a most agonizing ride ever if he wasn't able to kiss her senseless as he did now.
The lift dinged, door opening, indicating they were at their stop. He let her go long enough so they could make it to her door, where he proceeded to kiss the back of her neck as she fished her keys out of her bag. When he'd sucked at her neck and soother his tongue over it, goose bumps rose on her flesh and she groaned.
"Robert, give me a second to open the door and get us in," she pleaded, hands shaking as she tried to open the door. He let up long enough for her to slide the key and open the door before he was pinning her again against the door, closing it behind her as he pushed against her.
"You're so beautiful," he murmured against her lips as his hands traveled a path down her body. He ducked his head and kissed against her throat, leaving her to throw her head back, making a dull thud against the wood.
He didn't know how it happened and really, it didn't matter, but suddenly he had her on her back on the couch, with him hovering on top of her, kissing down her body. Her clothes had been long sine discarded on the floor, his own joining them quickly. He kept kissing her, unable to resist her fragrant skin. His mouth ghosted over her smooth stomach as he made his way down to where she was hot and wet now, his teeth caching the waistband of her pathetic excuse for knickers, pulling it down her hips. He threw it behind them, hearing it land on top of some lamp—they'd clean it up later, but that was for later as he pressed his lips against her nether lips, letting his tongue peek out to have a small taste of her.
She thrashed around, hair rumpling, but she didn't seem to care as she threaded her fingers with his hair, tugging, pushing, seemingly unable to decide if she wanted him to continue or stop. He made the decision for the both of them, kissing against her sex, lapping, nipping, sucking and licking until she came in his mouth, screaming on top of her lungs.
He was lining kisses down her stomach when she'd regained her equilibrium, looking down at him and smiling.
"I want you, Robert," she said, making his head snap up and look up at her in surprise.
"Are you sure?" he asked, wanting to make sure she wasn't just doing this. "We could wait till you're ready."
She nodded. "I'm sure," she said. "I'm ready."
He nodded and started kissing her skin, lining kisses until he reached her lips where he'd kissed her senseless, letting her have a taste of herself in his mouth.
…
She was trembling, and nervous as all hell. She wanted this. She wanted this so much. She wanted to have him love her in all the ways that they both wanted to. She was so tired of listening to her goddamn mind. Screw the society, okay? She was taking this and she was going to enjoy it, the voices in her head be damned.
She wanted to be with the man she was falling in love with, and she was going to be. She was just a bit nervous. And who wouldn't be? This might not be her first time, but this was her first time with him, and that was nerve wracking.
What if she wasn't good enough for him? Because she was sure that he would be good enough for her, she was sure of that. He was probably having the same thoughts.
"Cora," he murmured against her lips before he released her and looked down at her. "Let's move to the bedroom?"
She nodded meekly, standing up from the couch after he did, feeling the urge to throw on something to cover her body. She wasn't meek, and she wasn't a shy person, not very anyway. Robert seemed to notice because he took her chin in his fingers and lifted it up, making her look at him.
"You're beautiful," he assured, smiling. "And I adore you, body, mind and soul."
Her heart raced and she nodded, grateful to have such a sweet man in her life. She took his hand in hers and led him to the bedroom. He'd never been there before, their exploits having always been contained on the couch in the den. But now, well, here they were.
"I don't have condoms," she blurted out, wanting to smack herself when she realized what she'd said. She looked at him horrified. "I'm sorry, I—," she began to say but he cut her off with a kiss.
"I'm clean, and I assume you're on the pill?" he asked and she'd nodded. "But I do have one in my back pocket, so don't worry."
She narrowed her eyes at him as they entered the bedroom. "You were expecting this?" she asked suspiciously. They climbed up the bed and he crawled over her, hovering above her.
He peppered her face with kisses, and then down her neck, to her breasts, sucking on her flesh. "I prepared for the possibility," he answered gently, before he started kissing her again.
She nodded, pacified, reaching down to grasp his hard member in her hand. She wanted to please him, wanted to make him feel the way he always made her feel, but he'd taken her hand in his and stopped her, shaking his head. She looked at him curiously, eyebrow raised.
"At this point, I just need to be inside you, Cora," he told her and she nodded.
She spread her legs wide, anticipating the moment he'd slid in her welcoming heat. She was nervous, he was big and she hadn't had sex in a while, but she trusted him, trusted him a lot. And it was all put to good use as she felt her soul soaring once he was fully sheathed inside her, stretching her in delicious ways. For a moment, her unused muscle protested, but he'd stilled his hips, biting his lips with the effort, and had let her feel him fully first, adjust to having him inside her. She smiled at his consideration before she'd nodded and kissed him, running her nails down his back when he thrust inside her, once, twice.
"Robert," she rasped, moaning.
He was tender, holding her, kissing her, teasing her and filling her in. He brought her high, higher and higher until she's screaming his name, arching her back and clawing against his. She felt like a tightly drawn out string as she felt her orgasm pooling low in her belly, spreading slowly through her like wildfire before she exploded, eyes closing, mouth parting, a small scream escaping her lips, his name following soon after and she was so sure that she saw stars behind her lids.
He came quickly after, her name tumbling from his lips. His forehead fell to her shoulder as he collapsed on top of her and she smiled, arms coming around to hold him. She closed her eyes, happy to feel his heart beating in tune to hers.
It didn't matter now what would happen next, because tonight, for tonight she was his and he was hers.
…
He woke up to the glorious feeling of having someone in his arms, and not just anyone, he had Cora in his arms. He knew because her smell invaded his senses, leaving him floating. He closed his eyes tightly and inhaled deeply, letting her scent envelope his senses. Last night had happened, it really did. And God, she was amazing.
And hopefully, his.
He tightened his arms around her, loathe to think of anyone else being with her besides him. He didn't know if he should ask her to be his girlfriend, or if they were already at that point. She seemed to want to be with him, and that relieved him a little, but he figured he wouldn't know if he didn't ask.
He felt her stir in his arms, effectively interrupting his train of thoughts and he pressed a kiss against her hair, looking past her to check the time. It was still just six am, he had at least an hour to kill, and he was so very glad it was with her.
She hummed as she turned in his arms, throwing her own around him once she was facing. "Morning," she greets, her voice low and raspy in the morning.
He smiled. "Good morning, beautiful," he said. "Do you have classes today?"
She nodded. "Not until nine, though," she answered, stretching like a cat in his arms. He could feel himself growing harder again as certain parts of her brushed against him. God. She smirked, feeling him too. "Is someone happy to see me this morning?"
He chuckled, leaning down to nuzzle her neck. "I'm always happy to see you darling," he teased, sucking on her flesh and making her moan. He turned and laid her flat on her back as he climbed on top of her, ready to usher the morning in properly.
…
The next week passed by quickly. They spent almost every spare time together. Their weekend spent inside her apartment, particularly but not contained to the bedroom. He'd kissed her goodbye on Sunday evening with a promise to see her again the next day, saying he was loathe to leave her and would have gladly stayed with her, if only he didn't have a meeting so early the next day. She'd agreed, telling him not to be silly, it was okay, they could spend the next day together, his meeting was more important for him and his future.
A future she had hoped she was a part of, but was not sure because they hadn't talked about things yet. She wondered if there was anything more to talk about, they were having sex with one another, go on dates together, but she wasn't sure if she was the only one. Of course, she didn't think he was the kind of man who would screw her and then date other women, but she couldn't be too sure.
She supposed they should talk about it, and they would, she decided after the party he'd invited her to this weekend. And well, there was a few more days before that. However, soon, too soon, it was the weekend, and Cora had found herself in her bedroom, getting ready for her night out with Robert. She was nervous, even when she told herself that she shouldn't be. It wasn't a big deal, just a meeting with Robert and some of his mates. One of his friends from University was having a birthday party and he'd asked her last week if it was okay for him to attend (not that he needed her permission), and if he could bring him with her. She'd agreed, of course, excited to be spending time with him and seeing parts of himself that she didn't know yet.
He was at her apartment, having spent the night before and they were getting ready side by side, after a long, steamy shower that they had taken together. He dried her off and she did the same with him, before she dried her hair and donned on her dress. She was putting on the last touches to her make up while he slid in his watch. He walked over behind her when he'd finished, leaning down to kiss her neck.
"You look gorgeous," he complimented, kissing her again.
She looked at him sharply through the mirror. "Don't start, Robert," she told him. She could not let him have his way with her again. Really. They were not some horned up teenagers, for cripes sake. "I don't want us to be late."
He chuckled. "I assure you, even if we come half an hour late, we'd still be early," he told her running his hand down her arm. "Don't worry."
She turned around and looped her arms around his neck, standing up and kissing him softly. "It doesn't matter. You can't muss me." She crinkled her nose and he laughed, tapping the end with his index finger. She swatted his hand away. "Let's go, let me meet your friends."
He nodded, kissing her once more before grasping his hand in hers and smiling, leading her out of the door and out of her apartment.
They closed the door and left arm in arm, together.
…
The party was going by in full swing, his Cora being a hit to his friends. They liked her, loved her with and sense of humor. And she was a good sport, enjoying his friends' humor just as much and letting their rambunctious behavior to roll of her back. She'd laughed with them and engaged most of them in in-depth conversation about music and art, and all in all, Robert couldn't help but feel proud of her.
And it helped that she seemed to sidle up to him through the night, often declining offers to dance, saying she was with him, and would rather not dance at all. Of course, it hadn't stopped some other men and he'd only come close to punching one man who had been too touchy with her at one point during the night. It had been smooth sailing from there, however, and she looked content to be just with him.
He just had not anticipated that there would be a moment in which it would turn around heavily.
He hadn't realized that there would be a moment where the last person he wanted to see would walk through the door and come up to him with a sickeningly sweet smile while Cora was in his arms and would greet him with a soft but meaningful "Hello, Robert".
"Adeline," he'd murmured then, feeling more than just a little bit flabbergasted.
…
She felt him stiffen in her arms as a tall, blonde woman sauntered over to where they were sat over at the bar. She was sitting on a stool with him standing beside her, teasing her with kisses and making her heart flutter and goose bumps to rise on her flesh.
He'd been looking the other way when she'd turned and asked for a glass of water from the bartender, her arms were snaked around his waist, and she had felt him stiffen, his grip on her waist tightening. She looked at him then and found him staring right ahead. She furrowed her eyebrows when she noticed him staring at another woman who was coming down to their direction. She'd have thought nothing of it if not for the look on his face. She'd been worried then and confusion rose in her.
"Hello, Robert," the blonde woman said, and Robert looked shocked for a brief moment. The woman was beautiful, too beautiful, her blonde hair shiny and pristine, her face soft and feminine. Her lips are tinted red, and her eyes lined perfectly.
"Adeline," Robert muttered and Cora felt her heart drop right down to her stomach. She looked at the man she was quickly falling for, suddenly nervous and then back to the blonde before her.
So this was Adeline, the woman who Robert had been madly in love with, the woman he'd been crying over that night a few months ago. Cora wanted to vomit.
"It's nice to see you again," the woman, Adeline, said, her voice too honeyed for Cora's liking. She was staring at them like she wanted something from Robert while making fun of Cora and Cora felt her heart falling even lower to her stomach.
God. This was what she was up against?
"Yeah," Robert responded lamely, looking away before looking back at the blonde. "It's good to see you, too."
Oh, and Cora bet he was.
The night was downhill from there, Robert having sulked into a corner, watching his ex carefully. Cora had been at his side, nursing a drink but not really drinking it. She wasn't in the mood, and to be perfectly honest she didn't care anymore.
How could she?
There was this wonderful man and she thought she might be in love with him, had thought he might be feeling something for her in return, but it seemed now that she was wrong. He didn't feel the same for her, and he was just using her to get over the ex that he was still clearly hung up on.
The thought made tears prickle at her eyelids but she held it back. She was not about to lose it over a man. They could go and be together for all she cared. Robert was not the only man in this world.
Unfortunately for her, he was the only one she wanted.
She felt constricted, the life having been sucked out of her by the sudden turn of events. One of Robert's friend, Dean—the one who threw the party—had apologized, saying he hadn't known Adeline and apparently her husband who had been Robert's classmate in University, too, were coming. He'd extended the invitation because it was polite, but he'd thought they were still out of town.
Apparently not.
Cora stood from her chair, not even sparing a glance at Robert who sat so far away from her now like he couldn't even get far enough away from her. She wanted to go out to the balcony for fresh air. In a while, she'd probably ask him to go home, if not, she could always hail a taxi.
Not that he would care the way this was going.
She walked past him and felt his eyes on her as she walked away. She murmured a silent thanks when she found the spot empty. She wanted to cry, wanted to tear someone apart, but what good would that do? It wasn't like they were exclusive. She had no right to be jealous—because she was. God she was.
"He could make you special," she heard someone say from behind her and found Adeline, standing by the door of the balcony, leaning against the jamb with a soft smile on her face. "He could make you feel so special like you're the only woman in the world."
Cora bit her lip, unsure what to say. What was there to say?
She nodded. "He's a lovely man," she replied with a shrug. It was true enough.
"You like him," Adeline deducted, crossing her arms against her chest.
Where did this bitch come off, really? Did she think she still had hold over Robert? Well, she wouldn't be wrong, Cora thought silently, bitterly. The way Robert was acting, it was painfully obvious just how much Adeline had a hold on him.
"He's likeable," Cora said neutrally, not feeling like divulging her feeling to a stranger, to his ex, too, on top of that. "As I said, he's a lovely man."
"He is," Adeline said. "I should know."
Cora sucked in a deep breath, but kept her head high, not wanting to give this woman the upper hand. She didn't look at Adeline but felt the other woman make an exit without another word. She knew where to hit, and she hit right there, twisting the knife to make it hurt further.
Shaking her head, Cora went back inside to collect her things. She was going home now, because she was not about to take a beating like this. If he didn't want her, then so be it. She could live without him, she'd been able to do it for years.
At the back of her head she thought she was exaggerating, but really, it was best to pull away now than fall harder and be hurt deeper.
She grabbed her purse from beside Robert and made a move to go. He was nursing a scotch in hand, surprised when she grabbed her bag hastily (she was more surprised he wasn't tracking Adeline's every move, to be honest).
"Where are you going?" he asked.
She's surprised he'd noticed.
"Home," she answered in a clipped voice.
"Why?" he asked again, and she wanted to clobber him over the head. He was such a man.
"Because I'm tired," she told him moodily without sparing him a glance. "I'm going to thank your friends and call a cab."
He looked confused for a moment. Apparently he was ready to go home, too, because he put his glass on the table and said, "Why take a taxi? I'll drive you home."
She glared at him. "Oh really? So you didn't want to stay and ogle your ex some more?" she asked acidly.
"I'm not—I was not—," he tried to defend himself but she rolled her eyes and didn't let him.
"Tell me Robert, was this all a game to you?" she asked angrily, the pain in her chest radiating off of her. "Are you still in love with your ex? Do you even want to be with me?"
He was quiet, mouth snapping shut as he looked contrite. She closed her eyes and sighed. "Yeah, I thought so," she said, before walking away from him. She saw his eyes widen but she didn't care, sauntering past him as fast as her high heels could allow. She found their host quickly and made some excuses, telling them she had a great night but regretfully had a headache and should leave. Robert must have been stuck somewhere, because she didn't hear his footsteps following her. A traitorous voice inside her head said that he must have stayed behind to watch his ex some more like a hawk.
She walked out of the building, easily hailing a taxi and asking him to drive her to her apartment. Luckily, the building had been close to home and aside from the light traffic, she made it home fairly quickly. She pressed the button to her floor immediately after she walked into the elevator. The urge to weep threatened to swallow her, but she didn't want to cry, now or ever.
She made it inside her apartment and quickly changed out of her party dress, scrubbing her face free of her makeup. She almost tripped over his overnight bag, and she kicked it away, feeling like she needed to do that to release pent up anger.
She shouldn't feel this way, shouldn't have acted like that, but if she was going to be treated like shit every time his ex showed up then she wasn't staying for it. She respected herself too much for that. And this was for the best. She should pull away while she still can, while the pain still wasn't too much.
Suddenly, she heard banging on her door, and she rolled her eyes, knowing instinctively that it was Robert. She sauntered over to the door, and without opening it, she said, "Go away Robert."
Pounding, silence, and then: "Cora, please talk to me, open up."
"No," she told him, tears welling in her eyes again. "Go away, we have nothing to talk about. Don't come back, and don't show your face on the pub again, or I'll have Carson throw you out."
"Darling, please," he pleaded, tugging at her heart and she wanted to give in, but she really shouldn't. "Just let me explain."
She remained stubborn.
"Fine," he said, breathing and for a moment she feared he was just going to walk away but he didn't, instead she heard the unmistakable sound of his forehead falling against the door gently. "I'm sorry. I was an arse, I didn't realize I had been brooding and ignoring you and I'm stupid. It's just," a pause, deep breath, and then, "It's just that Adeline was a part of my past that I'd really rather forget, and her showing up there, I—I didn't know what to do. I froze, I brooded and sulked and ignored the best thing that's ever happened to me since chicken parmesan—you."
She fought the urge to smile and shook her head.
"You're wrong," he continued, sighing. "I do want to be with you. You occupy all of my thoughts, all the time, and I…I find that when I'm not with you, it's never a good day. I always want to see you smile, want to see your face and your eyes. I want to be with you in every way that I can. I want a relationship with you, I'm just so cared that we'd fall apart and I'd hurt you…or I don't know. I'm scared. I've been burnt once and I don't ever want to be burnt again."
Tears streamed down her face as he spoke, her hand coming up to rest on her chest.
"But I realized that more than the fear of getting hurt is the fear of losing you," he confessed, making a sob erupt from deep down her throat. God, her heart. "I think I'm falling in love with you," he added quietly. "And I want to…I want to try this, being together, because you make me happy, so happy."
She walked closer to the door and grasped the brass knob.
"I want to be yours Cora, and I want you to be mine," he admitted quietly. "So, please, open the door and tell me I haven't fucked it all up."
Giving in, as if she wouldn't after that speech, she opened the door and threw her arms around him.
"You haven't," she promised silently against his ear. She pulled back. "But you can't keep freezing me out. You can't just ignore me whenever she comes around."
"You were right," he said as they came inside the apartment and closed the door. They settled on the cough together, with her in his arms. "I love her, I think honestly that there would always be a part of me that would. But I no longer want to be with her. It's you that I want to be with. She just, she brings something out of me that I couldn't explain. She makes me want to lash out and hurt, and I want to move past that, with your help, I know I could. I want to be with you, Cora. And I want Adeline to be in my past, right where she belongs."
She nodded. "Maybe you just need to make peace with her," she suggested, not really liking the idea but willing to accept that if it meant that Robert would finally heal. He made a sound of protest and she kissed his chin. "Not right now if you aren't ready, but maybe someday. You need to say goodbye to that part of you who had loved her, and let it rest. Let it be a part of you, but not let it control you."
He bit his lip and nodded before taking her in his arms. He kissed her softly. "Someday," he agreed. "But right now, I want to just sleep and hold my girlfriend for the rest of the night."
She smiled, feeling her heart flutter. It was finally official. She felt like floating. "Or you could make love to your girlfriend for the rest of the night, how's that?" she asked, raising her eyebrow teasingly.
He kissed her once more. "Are you sure?" he asked, ever the gentleman.
She nodded and pulled him up. She stood on her tiptoes, kissing him, slipping her tongue in his mouth and moaning when he pulled her closer. "Make love to me, Robert," she said.
Which he did, all night long.
a/n: how was that? I hope you like that. I was fretting it but i could NOT afford to mull it over and over and then be frustrated and just scrap it and restart because that is exactly what i'm going to do if I think it over and over. so there. Let me know what you think. (it turned out a bit differently than I planned, but yeah).