Hiii! Welcome to the 18th chapter. A few more to go before we see the end?! Who's excited!?
Sorry this came a bit late. I was working on AFG so it kind of got pushed to the back burner but here we are.
My many thanks to Dream of Ragtime for being the best. Love you ❤
TW: miscarriage (proceed with caution)
Sorry, unbeta-ed. Mistakes are, as usual, mine.
Enjoy! It's a long one!
Chapter Eighteen
They were engaged.
She was marrying the love of her life, and that made her giddy—too giddy to eat the delectable dinner Robert had laid out for them (it was Caesar salad with apples for appetizer, flame grilled chicken and Alfredo fettuccini for the main course, and some chocolate tiramisu for dessert). But eat the dinner they both did, trying to pace themselves over smiling lips and twinkling eyes.
She was so happy she could scream!
Once they were done eating, Robert held his hand out to her, asking her to dance. She said yes and took his hand, unable to resist as he reached over and grabbed a little remote. The first notes of Can't Help Falling In Love started to play and Cora laid her head on his shoulder, sighing, easily transported to their first date when he'd played this song and asked her to dance to it. How far they'd come since then.
"I love you," Robert said as she tilted her head to look up at him. His smile was bright, and so were his eyes, they sparkled against the moonlight, just like the ring that now adorned her finger.
"I love you, too," she told him, reaching up to kiss his lips softly. She slithered her arms around his neck and leaned her head against his chest, listening to the sound of his beating heart.
She felt his arms tighten their hold on her, and she smiled, her eyes falling shut. She was contented at the moment, feeling the peace wash over her as the waves crashed against the shore and winds blew against her face. The moon was alight up in the sky, its milky glow hitting their skins just right to overcast shadows that lined their faces perfectly and illuminated the dark night. The stars were peppered across the dark sky, twinkling—and she swore by this—brighter than they ever had since she'd seen them.
It was a beautiful moment she wanted to remember forever.
"But I can't help falling more in love with you," Robert crooned at the top of her head, making her absolutely melt. She had never met a more perfect man. He'd been so anxious, so afraid of love when they'd met, had all but banned it from his life, but here, now—he'd never been more open, more perfect to her. She swore she would protect his heart and love him for as long as they both lived.
She, too, would never love anyone else as long as he walked the earth.
She looked up at him and smiled, pulling his head down so she could kiss him. It was soft at first, a gentle peck to convey how happy she was, and how happy he'd just made her, but as he held her closer, she started losing all her control, and the kiss turned passionate, tongue slipping, teeth clashing—sensual in its own right, and a kiss that stole her breath away.
Her heart was full, so full of love for this man, and she wanted to show him that, wanted to share some of the love she has inside her chest, for she feared that if she did not, she'd burst.
"Robert," she murmured against his lip, sighing as he cupped her ass against her dress. God damn, she wanted him. She pulled away long enough to breathe and talk to him. "Make love to me."
He needed not be told twice, ready as he was to make love to and with her. He scooped her up and swept her off her feet, carrying her to the tent, that up until now she hadn't noticed being there. It was spacious inside, housing a comfortable looking mattress filled with pillows and rose petals. There were twinkling fairy lights inside as well, adding into the romantic ambiance.
She looked up at him adoringly: God, he was perfect. She never thought she'd ever find someone like him, that she would ever have this, but she was glad that he'd stumbled in front of her all those months ago and she'd helped him, because here they were now.
"I love you very much, Cora," he said as he laid her down the mattress, against the soft pillows. Her response was not in words, but action as she pulled him down again and kissed his breath away.
She loved kissing him, always compared it to going to heaven and floating in clouds, even when she used to detest kissing other men before. She had not been a prude, had been open to experimenting fantasies and kinks with her other partners (though, admittedly not as much as she had with Robert—it does take the right person to fully place the trust it required for such explorations), but she had not been fond of kissing. She found, however, that she loved kissing Robert, loved the slow and sensual way he seemed to kiss her, drawing out sounds from her that she never realized she could make. She loved the hard and insistent kisses that he gave her when they're both hot and bothered, getting heavy and petting each other, ready to take action at any time. She loved everything in between too—the forehead kisses, the nose kisses, the ones stolen when neither of them was mindful of what they were doing, or the ones given at every end of their sentences. She loved them all, and she loved Robert.
Loved this, loved the life they made together, and were continuously still making—she loved it all.
In no time at all, and before she could think much about what was happening (not that she thought there was much thinking involved in this activity), she laid underneath him in her matching lingerie. She watched him as he stroked her bump reverently, placing a kiss on top of it softly before going up and sucking on a pulse point on her neck. He bit down on her skin, eliciting a rather obscene sound from her, and making her hips buck.
She felt her core tingle when she rubbed against the coarse material of his jeans through the fabric of her underwear—the friction was too unbearable, and too good, that she was unable to stop herself from doing it again. Robert kisses her then, takes his sweet time exploring every crevice and contours of her mouth as he's never done it before, when in fact they must have kissed a hundred times since. But she let him do as he pleased, all the while humping his jean covered leg, hoping to make herself cum by humping him. It was almost embarrassing how far gone she was already, and barely started yet.
"Are you going to cum like that?" he asked her in a voice so husky, she barely recognized it. She looked up to his eyes to find his blue eyes darker, dilated, and she knew he was just as affected about this as she was.
God damn it, she wanted to cum.
"Yes," she hissed as his mouth travelled from her neck down to the swells of her breasts, peeking out from the lace of her bra. Her hips rocked against his leg, her core getting the friction she wanted against it, and she knew—as horny as she was (always was)—she was going to cum just like this.
He growled against her skin, hands reaching out to her back to unclasp her bra. She barely felt the air against her already pert nipples before he was covering one breast with his mouth and then the other with his palm. It felt good, so good—his hot mouth sucking against her hard buds, licking and nipping, nibbling, tasting, it all felt so good and she was almost at the point of delirium as she continued rocking against his leg, trying to grasp that high, wishing and waiting for herself to tumble over the edge of precipice.
Fuck.
And she had not even had his cock yet.
Was it too crass to say that she loved being fucked by him (because she did, she loved it too much)?
Robert must have sensed her urgency, her need to cum, because he sucked harder against her nipple before his hand trailed down to her cunt. He didn't pull her panties down, or slipped his finger through her folds, all he did was push down against the fabric directly above her clit, and then she was falling apart, mewling and screaming his name as she came hard. Her breath came in small gasps then as she tried to recover.
Jesus Christ almighty, that was fantastic.
She found him staring at her when she opened her eyes. His blue eyes were wide and dilated, half amused and more than just a little arouse at what had just transpired.
"You came like that," he said in amazement, as if he couldn't believe she came without penetration. Surely he's not that daft, and he's had enough sex with her, to know that stimulation was key to a great orgasm. She raised an eyebrow in question, and he shook his head, smirking. "Well, it's time for Round Two."
And so it was, and for round 3, and 4, and maybe 5…but who was really counting?
…
Robert hadn't thought it possible to have so much sex in one night, and to make someone cum as much as Cora had in one night…but they'd accomplish it. And now he had a warm and sated Cora in his arms, sleeping with a content smile on her face as he held her in his arms after a long night. The sun was just rising and its gentle rays streamed through the tent, casting a lovely shadow against his fiancé's features.
Fiancé—Cora was now his fiancé.
God that sounded so lovely, so lovely in fact that if this was all a dream, then he'd rather not wake up.
He traced his finger down her nose, watching as she unconsciously scrunched it—making him smile at how adorable his love was, and then he traced it down her lips, watching her pink lips pucker, before she buried her face on his chest, to discourage him from poking and prodding her further.
He smiled, grinned like an idiot—for sure. He was so goddamned happy, he didn't even know how to explain any of it. Not that there was any explanation to be had: the love of his life just agreed to marry him.
He swore he would make her happy, happier than she ever imagined being, because she deserved it and more.
He'd start with her birthday, of course, which was only a few days away now, but thankfully he was able to finalize his plans before they'd gone on a trip. He knew Cora wouldn't want to celebrate much, sure as he was that she spent most of her days in bed because she was always so lethargic. But he did want to something nice for her, and so in between moving her right in and getting on this trip, he'd enlisted his sister's and Cora's best friend's help to get the surprise party he wanted to throw for her come to life.
He'd been very pleased with everything that Phyllis and Ros had shown him so far, the two of them teaming up to make sure everyone Cora loved would be invited and there. He'd been the one to approach Cora's family however and had begged them to take some time off to celebrate Cora. There hadn't been a lot of begging involved, as both parents had been very eager to see Cora as they hadn't seen her since New Year's . The news of the baby had cemented this plans, and any other inhibitions the Levinsons might have had over flying to England had been thrown out the window. Their tickets and everything else were finalized before the four of them (Cora, himself, Ros, and Duke) had flown to Barcelona for their holiday trip.
Mama had agreed to host the birthday party at Downton, and most of the friends that Ros and Phyllis had invited has been able to book themselves some rooms in hotels near the Estate. Ros, Duke, himself, Cora, and Cora's parents would be staying at the Estate, and so would some of the other family members that would be coming: Shrimpie and Susan, James, Patrick and Rebecca.
He was very excited, and could barely wait to celebrate Cora and her life, for he would have been lost without her, and there was no one in this world he was most thankful for. She had brought a light to his life that he'd long since thought had been snuffed out. He was given a new reason to look forward to everyday, and believe in beginnings, and happiness and love.
It was her. She was the reason. And of course their little jellybean.
And he was determined to show her that every day of their lives.
…
The day they came back to London was hectic.
It had been raining in the city, and Robert, being the worry wart that he was, had been neck-deep in stress that she'd been rained on—something that she'd shrugged off, of course, there was no cause for alarm. It had been quite difficult to pacify, but in the end had conceded to let it be, only urging her to take a warm bath to which she'd obliged with little complaints, because well, the warm water soothing her aching muscles.
And there she was now, submerged in a warm both as she rested her tired eyes. It had been a long flight, though she was sure it wasn't really—not in hours anyway. Her eyes were closed and she felt the water lapping against her skin. Her head lolled to the side as she enjoyed a few moments of peace and quiet.
She thought about the few days, about how perfect their holiday had been, and how Robert had capped that off with the most perfect proposal. She lifted her hand and looked at her engagement ring. She'd never really had the time to admire it fully, having been overwhelmed with the mere thought of marrying him and then getting caught up in more…physical activities. But admire it was what she did now, turning her hand this way and that to wonder at her ring. It was simple, but by every means grand, which was very much like Robert. She loved Robert, and she loved him even more for it, but he was too extra sometimes.
Just like her ring…but she loved that too.
It was a white gold band that looked like a vine slithering around her finger, leaves jutting out and studded by tiny diamonds, coming up to enclose around a rose-shaped rock in the middle that glistened every time it hit the light, creating a kaleidoscope of colors that mesmerized her. She'd spent way too many months browsing through Tiffany's catalogue to know that this sizable rock was no joke and that her boyfriend had spent a pretty penny on it…her fiancé now.
God. It was still a little hard to believe. He was her fiancé.
She brought her hand down to her stomach and caressed the bump she'd found there. It all seemed to go quickly, she didn't even have time to really process everything. It seemed like they had only met at the back of the pub and she'd helped him out because he was drunk and staggering. She couldn't quite grasp how quickly they had turned from mere strangers to lovers, and now an engaged couple and expecting parents.
It all seemed surreal, yet she didn't thinks he regretted any of it, or that she wanted to change anything. Yes, it might seem like it had all come so fast, and yes, it seemed as though a lot of their decisions in their relationship had been anchored on the baby, but she would be lying if she said that all these decisions weren't ones they'd already thought of before.
Their timeline had been bumped up, sure, but the truth was she really believed that they were all bound to happen anyway. Robert and her…they were made for each other, bound to each other in an inexplicable way. She sighed and then smiled happily.
She couldn't wait to see their baby…couldn't wait to be a family.
"Cora, love?" she heard Robert's voice call her just from outside the door, and she opened her eyes as she called out for him to come in. He walked into the bathroom and shook his head. "You'll become a prune."
She chuckled softly and shook her head, tilting it just so to look at him. "I haven't been here long enough," she told him. She held out a hand and smiled at him. "Care to join me?"
He shook his head and smiled as he walked over to the tub. He took a seat on the lip of the tub and brushed her hair back, and away from her face. "I'll let you enjoy the bath alone for now, my love. I have already had a shower anyway and have dinner waiting for you in the kitchen downstairs." She smiled at him gratefully, feeling her stomach grumble at the mention of food. He shot her an amused smile, but mercifully did not say anything. "I just wanted to come in and check on you."
"I'm fine," she told him, reaching up to cup his cheek in her palm. "Thank you."
He leaned down and kissed her softly, making her feel as though she was floating. "I love you, Cora," he replied. She didn't have to say it back, he already knew that, so she smiled and kissed him again. When he pulled away, he took a sharp intake of breath. "I just got off the phone with Rosamund."
"Yeah?" she murmured, closing her eyes once more as Robert started massaging her scalp. Damn, that felt good.
"Mama called her and asked us all to come to the Estate on Sunday," he told her, and there's something about the way he said it that made her wonder. Maybe he didn't want to go? It made sense, after all, they'd spent a whole week with his sister, and then now they'd have to spend time with his parents, too—he loved his family, that she was sure of, but she knew how he tried to spend as little time with them as possible because they usually got on his nerves, or rather his Mama did, and he didn't like having row with her.
"Don't you want to go?" she asked him, eyes still closed, a groan escaping her lips when Robert slid his hand down to her neck and kneaded her sore muscles softly. "Because we don't have to, if you don't want to. I know you have work, and knowing your parents, they will demand we at least spend the night there."
It was Friday so she knew they'd have time to get out of it.
"No, it's fine," he said on a sigh, though it barely came out convincing. "I don't mind very much. Maybe Mama has an announcement she could not make over the phone. You know how dramatic she is. She'll give us hell if we don't go."
Well…that was true.
"Okay," she murmured then. "I'll pack us some things when I get out of here."
Robert pressed a kiss against her forehead, smiling. "Alright, I'll give Ros a call to confirm. Mrs. Bird had laundry started already so our bags are empty now."
"Alright," she whispered softly as his hand fell away and then she was left alone again.
…
On Sunday morning, Robert woke up earlier before the sun was even up. He had initially wanted to surprise her with breakfast in bed, but had decided against it. He wanted to make it look like he hadn't remembered her birthday and surprise her later at the party. Although, considering how she was pregnant, he knew that breakfast was essential. Mrs. Bird no doubt had it ready already, of that he was certain, so he made his way to the bathroom and showered quickly.
By the time he was finished, Cora was already up, sitting on the bed with a smile on her face.
"Good morning baby," she greeted, giving him a dazzling smile that blew him away. She pushed the covers off her legs, slipping on her slippers before making her way to where he was standing, towel tucked on his torso, and another strung around his neck. She pulled him down for a kiss once she reached him, letting him go with a wink and a pat on his bottom, chuckling as she did so.
Robert shook his head and sighed. She was so beautiful, it was almost a crime.
"Hey, babe, we got to go down to the Estate a little after noon okay?" he told her. "We can go get lunch somewhere."
He heard her answer a muffled 'yes', before he went down in search of breakfast. Mrs. Bird had already prepared something—French toast, bacon, eggs, and some Turkey ham for Cora. Robert made a beeline for the coffee pot and poured himself a cup. He usually tried not to drink coffee around his girlfriend, knowing how much she loved it but knowing she wasn't allowed to drink it anymore—or at least, she was still allowed to drink some in moderation but she absolutely did not allow herself to drink any, in case it might have any adverse affect on their child. He admired her self control, because he was not sure he would manage to stay sane if he was on her place. But he still tried not to show her that he was enjoying his coffee around her, because he already knew how much she wanted to have a cup herself.
Once he was done with his coffee, he put the cup on the sink and made tea for him and Cora, taking them on the table with him as he settled down. Soon, Cora's footsteps could be heard as she padded down the hall and slipped in the kitchen, showered and wearing some comfy looking lounge clothes.
"Good morning again," she murmured, leaning down to press a kiss on his cheek. He smiled at her and greeted her a good morning as she settled on her seat.
Their breakfast was good, and soon it was cleared in no time, and it was made even better by each other's company.
..
It was nearing 5 in the afternoon when they got to the Estate. The sun is still high in the sky, but the promise of a sunset was looming, and Robert his pregnant girlfriend inside the house after Branson had dropped them off at the main door.
"Where are your parents?" Cora asked as they walked through the empty house. It was so rare that his parents or someone wouldn't greet them at the door—but of course he knew exactly why.
"No idea," he told her nonchalantly. "I already called before that we were about to come in, but the maid picked up. I suppose they're getting ready?" He shrugged.
Cora pursed her lips and looked thoughtful for a moment before shrugging as well and letting him lead her to the backyard. When they got there, the surprise showed on her face as everyone yelled 'Happy Birthday'.
She turned to him and swatted his chest lightly, looking so flushed that he couldn't help but grin at her.
"Surprise, darling," he said gathering her in his arms and feeling her burrow her nose in the crook of his neck as she wrapped her arms around him. "Happy birthday."
"Robert you needn't have," she told him when she pulled away.
"Ah, but Cora, I did too," he said, leaning down to place a kiss on her lips and nuzzle her nose. "For I will always do whatever it takes to make you smile like this." He reached up and rubbed his thumb against the corner of her upturned lips. "I love you."
"And I love you," she responded before kissing him again.
…
Cora wasn't expecting a surprise party at her future in-laws house.
She hadn't even thought that Robert remembered it was her birthday. He certainly didn't act like he remembered. Not that she cared, really. She was happy enough to be carrying her child and have Robert in her life—it was blessing enough. But it had been so heartwarming to see everyone she loved and cared about in the same house, celebrating her birthday.
Robert had even flown her parents over (and he'd leaned into her and whispered conspiratorially that the ticket he'd sent had a return date for he knew how much she dreaded having her mother stay over for a long period of time—Martha may never want to leave!), and had them celebrate with her as part of her present.
Her boyfriend—fiancé now, she reminded herself—had been so generous, and she was told that it was only the beginning. She wondered what he had up in his sleeve, as she watched him converse with her father.
"Happy birthday Cora," she heard someone say and she turned to find Rosamund standing next to her with a smile on her face, arms outstretched as she handed her a glass of orange juice. "I promise it's not spiked."
Cora smiled and took the proffered glass. "I trust you," she said. She wouldn't exactly say that things were strained between her and Ros, however, Ros had been keeping her distance—even in the trip—and Cora understood why. Of course, she preferred that Ros didn't do that, but she knew how trying these times could be for her and she didn't want to make it seem like she's rubbing it in her face.
She loved Ros far more than that.
"How's my little godchild doing?" Ros asked, smiling at her, and it's a small smile, a little shy, but it was genuine and Cora's heart warmed. "Not giving you a lot of trouble, I hope?"
"No," Cora said, hand automatically landing on her small bump. "Not so far. It's not moving yet, so it doesn't really keep me up much at night, except when it's sitting right on top of my bladder, and then that's when it gets problematic."
Ros chuckled, and looked at Cora with wide eyes. She gestured to the now noticeable bump and asked, "May I?"
Cora nodded, removing her own hands. "Of course," she said.
Rosamund's hand settled on top of her small bump and stilled. Cora feared that her future sister in law was going to cry—her eyes were watery and her hand shook—but Rosamund only smiled.
"You're going to be so loved, little baby," she said, "By all of your family."
"Especially by your auntie Ros, who you will love just as much," Cora murmured, placing her hand on top of Rosamund's.
Ros looked up at her, eyes glassy but lips curved up into a wide smile.
…
Robert watched his fiancé from afar as she mingled with the people around them, a wide smile etched across her lips, making him smile too. He'd wanted this birthday to be special for her, had wanted her to be happy on her birthday, and it seemed, upon looking on her face, that she was—happy to be around the people she loved on her special day. He watched as her hand fell to her bump and she rubbed it. It was small, not yet too noticeable, but it was there, and so far they had been receiving 'congratulations' and 'good luck's' all day.
He sighed happily as he downed his drink.
"Thanks for doing this," someone said behind him and he looked up to find his future Father-in-law standing there, a glass of amber-coloured drink in his hand. He smiled at Robert, something he rarely, if ever, did. "She looks so happy."
"I've committed a lifetime of keeping her that way," Robert said sincerely, not hoping in any way to pacify or impress her father, but only speaking from the heart.
"So when is the wedding?" Isidore asked, and Robert's eyes widened in surprise. He didn't know how her father knew. After all, they both decided that they were not going to tell people yet, wanting to keep the new development in their relationship private for now as they wanted some more time to enjoy it by themselves. Isidore smirked at him. "What? You think you can put that kind of ring on my daughter's finger and Martha and I won't notice?"
Of course, that was exactly what he thought and it was clear not that he should not have.
"I'm sorry for not asking your permission…" Robert trailed off as he swallowed nervously. He might have reached some kind of truce, and Isidore might have relinquished the number one spot he'd held for years in Cora's heart, but Robert was under no illusion that Isidore had suddenly warmed up to him completely. "However, considering the baby on the way, it seemed smarter to…"
"Is that the only reason you're marrying my daughter?" Isidore asked gruffly, eyebrow rising in challenge. Robert swallowed and shook his head. "I should hope not."
Robert cleared his throat and ignored his clammy hands that were now beginning to sweat. His heart was pounding. Isidore really scared him—not only because he was the father of Robert's fiancé (not to mention that his fiancé was a total daddy's girl), but also because Isidore was really kind of scary, with his posture that reminded him of Clark Gable, and his imposing moustache and narrowed dark eyes. "I love your daughter, Mr. Levinson, sir," Robert said, trying very hard not to stammer to show how serious he was about Cora despite the fact that his knees were trembling. "I love her very much and I'm marrying her simply because of that fact. Sure, it is smarter for us to get married given her condition, but that's just a bonus for us. We're getting married because we love each other. When I think of my future I think of her, for she and our child are my future. And like I'd told her when I proposed, I will never love anyone as long as she walked the earth."
"You better not break my daughter's heart, Robert," Isidore warned, eyes hardening.
"I know I cannot promise not to hurt her, because I cannot guarantee that. Pain comes side to side with love and I'm well aware of that. There will be days when she will bring me pain, too. And I'm okay with that because that comes with it, and neither I nor she can promise that we won't, no matter how much we'd want to. I can promise however, that I will try very hard not to, at least not intentionally. I would never want to cause her pain, but loving her also means accepting that it might very well happen. I do know, and I do promise as well, that I will always work it out with her, and that as long as she lets me love her, then I will do so…hopefully until we take our last breath."
Robert breathed out as he finally managed to say the words he'd been thinking all this time. He might not want to, but he was very much aware of the fact that they might not be able to help but cause pain to each other somehow. Not intentionally, never intentionally, but it would happen. He couldn't promise that it won't, can't promise he won't make her cry. What he could promise though, was that he would always be there to catch the tears that would fall and kiss them away until she was feeling better.
"Such pretty words," was all that Isidore commented.
Robert bit back the anger he felt at the man's casual words. He knew Isidore was just trying to protect his daughter. And Robert knew that if he had one, he would do the same.
"I can assure you, Mr. Levinson that I mean every word," he said with determination, because while he didn't know what the future might hold, he was certain that his future would have Cora in it.
"Very well," Isidore finally said after a beat of silence. He looked at Robert in a way that made the younger man squirm, before he smiled widely. "Welcome to the family, Robert."
Robert's eyes widened in surprise and he breathed the air he wasn't even aware he was holding. He had been afraid, almost deathly afraid, that her father would not approve, and for so long he'd thought that Isidore only half heartedly did so because he knew he wouldn't be able to sway Cora otherwise, but this—well, this sealed the deal and for that Robert was happy.
"I—thank you, Sir," Robert stuttered this time, unable to hide his surprise. "Thank you."
Isidore clapped a hand on his back. "None of this sir nonsense, Robert. You used to just call me Isidore, go back to that," he said on a chuckle, allowing Robert to relax and chuckle as well.
"Of course, Isidore," he said as they shared a toast.
They had come a long way, and that was good, really good.
…
Cora made her way to where her Robert was sitting. Last time she'd had a good look at him, she had noticed that while she'dbeen chatting with her mother and Violet (and holy mother of God, she needed a break because the two old matriarchs had a verbal sparring that would have amused her if they hadn't kept it up at every single word they said to one another), he had been chatting with her father. She would be lying if she didn't say that she was curious about what they were talking about. That had been hours ago, and a lot had happened since then.
"Hey baby," she said in a way of greeting when she reached him. It surprised her a bit to find him alone, since he had not been without a companion after they had been separated by the throng of people who wanted to greet her a happy birthday.
He reached out to her and pulled her to his lap before kissing her soundly. He was definitely buzzed. She couldn't blame him though, along with company, he seemed to have never ran out of something to drink—and that's okay because it was definitely a time for a celebration.
"Hello my love," he slurred a bit as he smiled goofily at her. She bit back a laugh. Alright so he was more than just buzzed. "I have been waiting a long time to hold you. Did you have a good birthday?"
It was late now and the guests had dwindled down as the skies grew darker and the night fell. They were down to just family and a very few closest friends.
"Yes," she said with a very happy sigh. "Thank you for tonight, Robert." She leaned in and kissed him softly. She let out a soft moan of surprise when he slipped his tongue inside her mouth. He tasted of whiskey and mint, and something so deliciously authentically Robert, and she sighed. God, she loved this man.
He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, kissing her nose and then nuzzling it. "I love you, you know that, right?" he asked.
She nodded. "I love you, too," she responded, leaning back as she felt his arms sneaking around her waist, his hand settling down on her bump. They sat there in silence for a while, just basking in the wonderful feeling of being together and being happy. "What did you and Daddy talk about a while ago?" she asked, breaking the silence as she was unable to hold it any longer.
He grinned cheekily at her. "Wouldn't you just love to know," he teased. She pouted at him until he gave in. "I was sort of granted his blessing?"
"You told him we're engaged?" she asked in surprise. She didn't think he'd tell her father. They had agreed it was best to wait a while before they announced their impending wedding.
He shook his head. "He guessed," he replied as he captured her hand and toyed with her finger. And ah, yes, of course—the ring. "And then we had a bit of a chat that ended with him welcoming me to the family."
Cora's heart warmed at his words and at the thought. They both knew her father still struggled with the thought that his daughter was a grown up and that he had to now give up his spot as the most important guy in her life to Robert. Her father had never had to compete with other boyfriends before because she never did love any of them the way she did Robert and she'd never had to put them first (never did, never wanted to), or never made any life altering decisions for them—like having a baby, getting engaged, or staying in England—which she knew was hard for her father. So to hear her father welcoming Robert to the family after believing that the acceptance they both longed would have to be pried out of his father's tight grip had been such a relief and happy wonder to her.
She sighed happily as she leaned further into his arms.
"And what did you tell him?" she further inquired.
He held her tighter into his embrace and kissed the side of her head. "I might have promised that while your heart is mine, I will try my hardest to protect it, and that while I might not be able to promise not to break it or crack it, intentionally or not, he can trust me to always mend it." He tilted her chin so that they were looking into one another's eyes and then he leaned in to kiss her nose again. "You can always trust me with your heart, too, Cora."
She smiled as her eyes fell closed. Tears pricked at the back of her eyes and a lump rose to her throat, but she fought them both and breathed in, instead. "I already do," she promised. "And you can always trust me too."
He nodded. "I do."
..
It took awhile before Robert was fully sober, though it was kind of fun to watch him lie straight to his mother's face and make Violet believe that he was not drunk, merely buzzed. The matriarch of Downton looked as though she wanted to bury her son alive and had remained unconvinced throughout as they settled in the drawing room, eating cake and drinking more liquor. Although, Cora had banned Robert from drinking after he reached for his third glass, glaring at him, and wanting him to retain what little of sobriety he'd been able to get himself into when they'd headed inside.
As the skies turned darker and the hours turned, the night falling fast, the guests that remained (what little of it) started to dwindle down even more, and it was not long until Robert and Cora were turning in themselves. Robert held Cora in his arms as they walked silently to their room.
It had been a long, exhausting, wonderful day, and though tired, they both looked forward to being alone, as Cora's eyes held promise that she intended to make good out of once they were sequestered in their own bedroom. Robert grinned like the Cheshire cat though he spoke no words.
No words were necessary.
Once the bedroom door closed, Cora immediately felt her back hit the door, and felt Robert's lips on her—hot and insistent, and she couldn't help the moan that erupted from her lips when his tongue slid in. Hands were flying and touching, and Cora wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close as his hand closed around her breast.
God that felt good.
But soon, too soon, Robert pulled away and kissed her nose, making her groan in protest at not having his lips on hers.
"What the fuck are you doing?" she asked him, irritated at the fact that they weren't yet in bed having great, birthday sex. The fact that they were in his childhood home with his parents a few rooms over be damned. He did tell her they had thick walls and lots of room, didn't he?
He chuckled, the bastard, and held her hand tightly in his, pulling her through the expansive room, and asking her to sit on the bed. She felt the corners of her lips turn up, and he shook his head, looking more amused than Cora thought he should be.
So, she was horny—it came with the territory. She was pregnant and her hormones were seriously out of whack.
"Hold on a second, my love," he told her, smiling. "Let me just get your present."
She opened her mouth to protest once more, the party had been gift enough and she really didn't need or want any more, happy as she was with everything she had been given. Her hand fell to her stomach and she thought of how wonderful a gift their baby already way.
He hushed her before she could speak. "You deserve it and more," he told her, holding up a finger to stop her before he disappeared into the closet and emerged with less clothing, but also with a big box in his hand. "This had been very hard to hide from you." He chuckled.
She bet. It was huge and hiding it in their house would have been futile because she would have found it. "Mmmhmm," she hummed, nodding in agreement. "So where did you hide it?"
She watched as he took a seat next to her in bed, placing the big box in the center. He smirked. "The boot of my car," he told her. And yes, that was rather clever. "You won't have opened it, because there was no need for you to."
Of course. She smiled at him and gestured to the box, and at his nod, began tearing at the lovely paper. Tears pricked at her eyes when she saw what it was and a gasp escaped her lips. "Oh Robert," she said, surprise and delight coloring her voice. She lifted a hand up her mouth as she marveled at it.
Robert brushed the errant strands of hair away from her face before her hand settled on her back. "I know it's more for the baby than you," he told her as they both looked at the cherry wood bassinet settled on their bed. The wood had intricate design, and a fleur de lis on the head board. It was beautiful. "But I…this was actually mine and I had it restored for the baby. I know we already bought a crib, and a lovely one at that, but this could probably stay in our bedroom or something…I didn't think it would match the white set we already ordered for jelly bean."
She couldn't help it, tears fell down her cheek and she couldn't speak. It was so thoughtful, so beautiful, and yes, there was no need to cry over it, but again, her hormones were kind of crazy right now, and well…she was feeling emotional after everything that has happened today.
"Do you not like it?" he asked, sounding worried that she might not have liked it after all. She shook her head and wiped the tears from her eyes. "We don't need to keep it, if you'd rather we buy something to match the baby's furniture."
She shook her head again and swallowed. "No, this is beautiful," she whispered, her hand falling to the bassinet to caress it. "I love it. It's so thoughtful of you, thank you, baby."
He looked doubtful but nodded, leaning down to kiss her lips. "There's more," he said, grinning now, excited.
She shook her head, this time in disbelief. It was too much. He'd bought her too much—the bassinet, the party, flying in her parents…the baby…himself. She had everything she needed. She didn't need more.
"As I said, my love, you deserve everything. If they sold the world, I would die trying to give it to you," he told her.
She sighed, her hand reaching up to touch his cheek. "Too late, my darling," she said in a soft whisper and an even softer smile. "You and our baby are my whole world."
His features softened and he reached out again to kiss her, making her breath hitch before he pulled away again. "These next gifts go hand in hand, okay?" he said as he procured a manila envelope and a small box. Her eyes narrowed. "You have to open this one first." He handed her the box.
She opened the box and her eyes widened, then she looked up at him, feeling overwhelmed. Inside was a beautiful white gold necklace with a star pendant. It was studded with little diamonds that glittered and shimmered when hit with the light. "Oh my god," she murmured, fingers stroking the beautiful pendant. "This is…wow, this is gorgeous."
"As it should be," he said with a smile. "Though it pales in comparison to your beauty." He then handed her the Manila envelope. "That pendant should commemorate this next gift."
She opened the gift and a gasp once again escaped her as she read through it. "Did you just…?" she asked in amazement.
"Name a star after you?" he asked on a laugh. "Yes, my love, I did. Now here," and he pointed to a star in the map that came with the certificate, "is your star. It's called Cora Levinson Crawley—which I hope that you would be in a few months."
"I—I," she stammered as tears blurred her vision. "I don't know what to say." She moved the papers on top of the bassinet and threw her arms around her fiancé. "Thank you, baby."
He kissed the side of her head. "It was a bit selfish in nature, but I wanted a reminder of you, up there in the sky, you know?" he asked, and she nodded, though she couldn't see how selfish it was—for the love of God, he just bought her a star. "Last gift," he told her then, shocking her, because this man, this generous man had given her a lot, everything she could ever ask for, yet here he was, still giving.
"Robert," she said, sighing, "it's too much. You've given me too much."
He kissed her then, stealing her breath away. "And as I said, and will keep saying, you deserve everything."
She sighed. "I don't know how to top this on your birthday. You've given me quite the challenge."
He laughed, shaking his head. "No need. You are gift enough." His hand fell to her bump. "You and the baby."
She could say the same about him, though she doubted he would believe her. He truly didn't see how wonderful and how amazing he was.
"Now this last gift…I know it's kind of abrupt and I know I should have consulted you first, but then it was there, and I knew, I just had to get it for you," he rambled before he produced another Manila envelope. She took it from his hands. "Now, you can tell me if I was being an idiot."
She opened the envelope and upended it a bit to let the contents fall through. She caught the papers and a photo which were inside and then read through the documents once more. Once she was done, she launched herself into the arms of the man she loved more than life, making him chuckle.
"Did you just buy my dream house?" she asked him and he nodded, beaming at her.
Back when they were still dating and getting to know each other, Cora had once asked him to walk around with her in the city so she could show him her favorite places. They had ended up in Chiswick and she had pointed a house to him, which she'd told him was her dream house. It was simple but also very vintage, with lots of windows and dark wood paneling. It was seated in the middle of acres of property with what seemed like a garden on the side, though it was very hard to see with the gates. She had always been in love with that house.
He'd told her it was beautiful and that it reminded him of Downton, and once she saw Downton, she'd understood.
"I didn't even know it was up for sale," she said, more as a question than a statement.
"It wasn't till recently," he replied. "And I hadn't known until I was looking up things to give you for your birthday. I hadn't intended to buy it for you on your birthday, or at all, until we've discussed it for certain, but it had then seemed fitting. It was a little after I asked you to move in with me. I thought then that we would be better off in a house that's ours, you know? Like a clean slate—not that I don't love our house, but it's more my parents' than ours. We wouldn't have much room to make our family grow if my parents would and could barge in any time they wanted because it was still, technically, theirs. So I thought it was best for us to find a new home. I was going to raise it to you so that you can determine where you wanted to move and what would be the best for the baby, but then your dream house was up for sale and I had to grab the chance to buy it. Besides, Chiswick is a better neighborhood."
She nodded, feeling just a little bit overwhelmed. Part of her apprehension with moving in with Robert had been the fact that it wasn't exactly their house they would be moving to. Sure, their house in London was beautiful and comfortable and had a lot of space—but it was more of his parents' house, and as it was, Cora had always found it difficult to alter a lot of things she detested in that house—not that they were not livable or that she couldn't survive, it was just that it didn't reflect them as a couple, or even as individual people. It also held memories that were not theirs. Now that they had their own house, it was a clean slate, and it was a way for them build memories that were theirs.
"Thank you, so, so much," she murmured as she found herself at a loss for words. There weren't many words to say, anyway, after the wonderful gifts she just received. Even 'thank you' seemed such paltry words in exchange.
"You're always welcome, my love," he said, holding her close as he kissed her once more. "I love you," he murmured against her lips.
This time, she was the one to pull away and she climbed out of bed and held out her hand to him. She smiled at him, though her vision was blurry and her eyes were watery. She reached for her phone and fumbled with the keys until she found what she was looking for. She waggled the screen in front of him. "Care to dance, Mr. Crawley?" she asked.
He chuckled and took her hand in his. "With you? Always," he replied as the first strings of Can't help falling in love reached their ears.
As her head fell to his chest and they swayed, more than danced, to the sound of soft music filling the silence of that wonderful night, Cora couldn't help but think how fast and how hard she had fallen for this wonderful man.
And how little she regretted that decision—something that she endeavored to show him, over and over, later in bed as they came together and fell apart as one.
It took them a few days before they muster the energy to go to their new house. Cora had been a little too tired from their trip back home to London, and Robert had been a little too concerned for her well being to give in to her, no matter how many times she cajoled him to go.
She understands though, as she wasn't entirely sure she could hold up, as exhausted and nauseous as she usually feels, but she's been so excited to see the house. She had been obsessed with that house ever since she first saw it two years ago. She'd been out on an exploration when she'd tumbled round Chiswick, and then upon first sight, she just knew she had to have that house, she had fallen in love instantly. Of course, she hadn't anticipated actually having the house, had not dreamed that her absolute dream of a fiancé would buy that exact same house because it came up on sale and he remembered it being her dream house.
To be honest, she hadn't thought she would be staying in London for long, or that it's where she would eventually find love and marry and build a family. She thought she'd be in and out, maybe stay a few years, but eventually, she'd move back home and work in the family company.
Guess not, then.
She hadn't dreamed of this, any of this. But she really didn't regret any of it.
She can't—not when this reality was so much better than anything she had ever dreamed of.
…
He watched Cora's eyes lit up as she took in the house that was now theirs. She had spent so much time looking at it from afar, that it's s undoubtedly overwhelming for her to finally see the inside and know that it was theirs.
She looked even more beautiful to him, and up at this point, he had not thought it possible.
The childlike wonder in her eyes was a sight to behold, and he knew right then and there that he was falling even more in love with her, and she wasn't even trying—and it was, again, something he hadn't even thought possible.
"It's so beautiful," she told him as she looked at the high, vaulted ceilings of what he knew to be the master bedroom. It was theirs now, their bedroom, and the thought made him giddier than he ever had been in all his life (except perhaps those other two times: when she agreed to be his girlfriend and when she agreed to be his wife).
"It is rather," he agreed, though he meant her, and not the house—but the house was beautiful, too. "You like it, then?"
She rolled her eyes at him. "You knew I did, and would, it's why you bought it in the first place," she pointed out with a smug smirk, and he chuckled, not really able to refute that for it was the truth.
Although, he would admit that the house was beautiful—it was perfect. It was a house with its own character—courtesy of the ones who lived there before them—but still allowed them the room to build a life in there that is theirs. It wasn't tainted with the memories of his parents, or past memories that were not theirs to claim.
Here was a clean slate.
This home was a new beginning.
It was Ros—or at certain times, Phyllis—who she went shopping for the baby things with, which Robert did not mind at all. He was glad that she had someone to bond with, someone to go with who knew something about pregnancy more than he did. It was also nice that she went with his sister, though he worried what kind of toll it was on Ros's emotions to watch Cora and see all the baby things that life and fate had cruelly not allowed her to have.
He'd had a talk with her about it, not wanting to upset her more than necessary about this baby thing. He didn't doubt her sister would love the baby at all. In fact, he's pretty sure Rosamund was already attached, but he worried more that it hurt her. She had reassured him that while there's a dull ache in her heart and an emptiness in her abdomen that resided continually, she was still happier to be there for Cora for and through all of these.
She loved that Cora came to her for help and had been very happy to offer her services and her time.
And so, he let it be. Rosamund, after all, was the only one who could dictate whatever it was that she wanted.
And right now, this was what she wanted.
What Rosamund had not done, however, was shop for all the other baby furniture. That one, Cora had decided she wanted to do with him. They still didn't know what the baby's sex was. It was about a week and a half more before they did, but Cora had chosen stately pieces that she knew would go well together with the few they'd already picked. They had a crib and well, the bassinet that he'd gifted her, but that's it so far, and really, as little as he knew about babies, he did know that for such small, tiny things they carry a lot along with them.
When they'd stepped inside the store, Cora was on full game on mode. She had readily scoured the store to pick out the furniture she'd wanted delivered to their new house in Chiswick. They'd both anticipated being able to fully move in before she was about to have the baby, and since their friends and family and helpers had been helping pack up what they owned (they were leaving almost everything in the old Crawley house in Holland Park, where it rightfully belonged), and then buying most of the things they needed to fill the house.
As Cora went around looking for the best pieces to fit their child's room, he wandered off on his own just to have a bit of look around. His eyes widened when he saw the white, little rocking horse on the corner, and he smiled. He couldn't help but imagine their child, girl or boy—it didn't really matter, as he or she played on it. He knew that they wouldn't be able to play with it for a while, till they grew a bit, but he couldn't help it. It was such a gorgeous horse.
Maybe he'd have a child that would actually love horses? He hoped so, for he liked them himself and couldn't wait to teach their child to ride.
"Robert?" he heard Cora call for him, and he turned to smile at her. "Is there anything you want to add? I have got a changing table, rocking chair, and dressers and drawers. That's the most basic, I figured we could just come back if we want to add more."
He nodded, but his eyes and mind drifted back to the little horse. Cora's eyes followed his and she groaned.
"Oh, Robert," she moaned in obvious disagreement to the words he's yet to utter. "No. The baby wouldn't be able to use it."
He frowned. "Of course he or she would be able to use it," he protested, pouting.
Cora chuckled. "Not for another few years, at least," she conceded, already turning back, and Robert knew that somehow he would be able to change her mind.
If push came to shove, he could always purchase it without her knowing, but then, he did want her to agree with him.
"Please?" he asked, almost pathetically. He was a pushover, and his child wasn't even here yet.
"Robert," she murmured, sighing exasperatedly. "In a few years maybe?"
"But Cora, it would look so good in jelly bean's room, can't you already see it?" he asked, and maybe it's a bit unfair to play her like this, but he wanted the best for his kid, and if it's getting a little rocking horse, then Robert would do it. Gladly.
She appeared thoughtful for a while before she sighed and shrugged, rolling her eyes dramatically. "I suppose so," she agreed, nodding. "Fine, let's get that too." And then she turned away to go to the cashier and pay for their purchase.
She didn't see him pumping his fist in the air in triumph.
…
Cora was overwhelmed.
And not in a bad way, she's overwhelmed and happy because of the love she's received throughout her pregnancy. Her parents had been more supportive than she'd ever dreamed, and sending them back to the US had been difficult. Both Isidore and Martha had only been appeased by the promise that they would be the first ones to know when she's about to give birth—for they would be on the first plane out to England. Robert's parents had been equally supportive, even Violet had been checking in on her from time to time, asking her how Robert had been treating her—which had given her a heart attack, the first time it had happened.
Phyllis had been a constant support in all of this, and even everyone in her band had been extremely kind about it, and so had everyone in The Castle. The two older women, Elsie and Beryll, had been mothering her to an extreme lately. Even Duke had been cautious and thoughtful with her, despite everything.
Robert had been overwhelmingly great about the pregnancy, too, erasing all her doubts about how accepting he would be with the baby. She wondered now why she'd been so afraid to tell him. He hovered over her, and warned her constantly that she was perhaps overworking herself in her condition. She would roll her eyes at him, and tell him that she was pregnant not an invalid, and that she's fine, she wanted to do things she still could do while she wasn't too far in the pregnancy. She wasn't even doing a lot of lifting at all.
He would then clamp down on his lips and breathe out loudly through his nose, as though he was losing his patience and tell her that he was just worried—he didn't want anything happening to her and the baby. She, of course, understood his worries and fears, touched by the sentiment even. She didn't want anything to happen to their baby either, so despite feeling a bit irked at the very little she was allowed to do, she tried more to calm down and do less, took more care of herself and the child growing inside her body, just below her heart. She abided by the rules that her doctor, Robert, and even herself had set for her.
Perhaps, the one that Cora appreciated the most—and she appreciated everyone during this wonderful, difficult, beautiful time—was Rosamund. There was a part of her that felt bad that was putting her future sister in law through this—having to make Ros live vicariously through her pregnancy, knowing what she went through. She knew how difficult it was for Ros to be around her right now, when Cora was living the fate that had been stolen from Ros, but Ros had been a trooper, had been kind and gentle and ecstatic with the birth of Cora and Robert's child. Cora was grateful for her constant company.
She'd shared her sentiments to Robert, and he'd been equally concerned, but Rosamund had assured them both that she was happy for them, and was really just happy in general, and just wanted to be there for Cora.
Both Robert and she were grateful.
As it were, Rosamund was the one she dragged along with her wherever she went. Robert had encouraged their bonding, only asking that she took it easy and not overdo it. He seemed grateful enough that she had constant company whenever he couldn't be there, even when he too had felt guilty that it was Rosamund, knowing what he did about her pregnancies and subsequent miscarriages. She had to admit, though, that she enjoyed it too—being around Ros and her excitement for the baby coming—which was also why, as exhausted as she was, she didn't mind too much that she was to meet Rosamund so that Ros could tag along while she picked up her prenatal vitamins.
Cora was exhausted, though, too tired. She could feel the fatigue of the day seeping through her very bones. She had a busy day after all, running around, trying to make sure that everything was ready for the baby's impending arrival.
She and Robert had gone furniture shopping for the baby, having been inspired to decorate the nursery since Robert had gifted her with the bassinet. It had been a week later and all the stuff they'd bought had been delivered to their house in Chiswick where she had asked the delivery men to deposit the furniture in the room she'd wanted their baby to have.
They had been in the middle of moving already, and since she was already supervising the delivery to their new house, she had brought some of the things they owned along with her. She deposited those in their bedroom.
Once all the furniture for the baby had been moved to the nursery, she'd surveyed it and had been most pleased about the things they bought: there was the white crib, and the dresser that matched the changing table they also bought. The rocking chair she'd fallen in love with was placed by the window, and the rocking chair Robert had begged her to get was placed near it. There was a mobile with unicorns hanging just above the crib, and all of the white furniture looked gorgeous against the pastel bluish grey, almost periwinkle, that they'd decided to paint the nursery with. She figured that it was a neutral enough colour, so it wouldn't matter if they had a boy or a girl. Paired with the all white furniture, she thought it was gorgeous.
Cora glided her fingers against the unicorns in a soft caress and smiled as she made her way to the rocking chair. Gingerly, she sat down, hand falling into the nice bump in her lower abdomen. Her baby was growing, growing nice and strong.
"Mummy cannot wait to see you my baby," she whispered to her unborn child. "Mommy and Daddy love you very much." She stroked her bump and sat there for awhile, revelling in the feeling of her heart beating along the baby's lying underneath it. But after a few minutes of reminiscing and melancholy, she stood up and started to back out of the baby's room.
With a smile on her face, she closed the door and started to walk away. She was so excited. Everything was coming together for their little jelly bean, and Cora was so excited to give her little baby the whole world, to shower it with love and affection, to make sure her baby never asked for anything and grow up knowing it was and will always be very much loved.
She started to climb down the stairs, her hand gripping the railings tightly, making sure to be careful so that she won't lose her footing. She thought she could even convince Ros to make a day out of it and they could go get some of the scones she loved from that coffee shop a few blocks from the hospital.
The thought made her smile.
Slowly, she descended the stairs, rubbing her stomach all the way. She had been feeling a bit weird the whole day, and a bit achy too. When she reached the last step, she felt something, a sharp pain her lower abdomen. It was painful enough that she gripped the banister with force, her knuckles turning white for her effort.
She was breathing heavily, inhaling and exhaling audibly as she tried not to panic.
Another sharp pain, and she was doubling over, her hand clutching her bump. Hot tears pricked at her eyelids and gathered at her lashes. Breathing didn't help anymore, and her anxiety rose while her muscles fell weak.
Her knees fell to the ground as she sobbed, and she could feel it—the tell tale trickling down her legs.
And, "No, no, God no," she murmured as she prayed for her baby to be saved, for this wonderful blessing to be able to see the world and bring beauty into hers.
She was losing the baby, and no, god no, this couldn't be happening.
There were a lot of blood and a lot of pain, and a steady stream of panic. She wanted to do something, wanted to crawl and reach for the phone, wanted to make sure nothing happened the life growing inside of her, but the world turned black.
She never got to call Robert.
A/n: sooooo sorry! I promise I will fix it. Don't throw rocks at me yet. It will get better I promise.