I do not own Harry Potter or twilight.

Enjoy the crazy ride and review...

***HP

Stomping over to the sofa, Harry childishly threw himself onto it. Petulantly crossing his arms over his chest, he glared up at his mate.

"Whoa, temper tantrum much," Seth snickered, sticking his tongue out at his soul brother.

Harry was tempted to flip his best friend and brother off, but he knew that Sev would hit him with a painful stinging hex. "I don't want to be poked and prodded," he pouted instead.

"Potter," Severus sighed, "I'm a damn wizard with a wand, you will not be poked and prodded. Now stop your childish whining so I can get this over with."

"But I'm not sick," Harry protested again, making to get up, but only to end up back on the couch when Edward grabbed him from behind, thwarting his escape.

"For me, Harry," Carlisle pleaded. "Just let Severus scan you to give me some peace of mind."

"It's just a simple scan, what do you have against something as easy as that?" Rosalie asked, taking a seat next to him a grabbing his hand.

Shoulders slumping, Harry looked to the blonde with red tears in his eyes. "The last time I was scanned I was diagnosed with cancer and told that I was dying. I feel good and I'm happier than what I have ever been in my entire life, I don't want to find out if something is wrong with me. So what if I eat, sleep and crave sex. Is that so bad?"

"Hell no," Emmett barked. "If craving sex was a sign of sickness then I would have kicked the bucket when I was fifteen. Sex is on my mind twenty four hours a day."

"He's not lying," Edward groaned. "I have had a front row seat to his thoughts and sexual fantasies for decades."

Turning to his mate, Harry smiled triumphantly. "See, I told you that I was normal. Though you may want to have Emmett scanned. It can't be healthy thinking about sex every minute of the day for decades."

"Hey!" Emmett cried. "You little rat. And here I was taking up for you."

"Harry, I can understand your fear," Carlisle said gently, now understanding why his little mate was so against Severus checking him over. The cancer had been a horrifically traumatizing experience for his mate. Even now over a year later Harry still had nightmares about it. "But we need to know if something is wrong with you. I love you, Harry, and it would literally kill me to lose you."

Wiping his eyes, Harry reluctantly gave in and nodded his head. He really didn't want to do this, but he would do anything for his mate. If the roles were reversed, he would want Carlisle to be checked over.

"Rosalie, I need you to move aside," Severus instructed. "I don't want you to interfere with scan."

Smiling encouragingly at Harry, she leaned in and pecked him on the cheek. "Everything will be fine, you'll see."

Staring wearily at the tip of Sev's wand, Harry closed his eyes and nodded his head. This brought back so many horrible memories of his cancer. He was a vampire now, he wasn't supposed to get sick or die.

Looking down at the results, Severus frowned then handed the paper over to Carlisle. "According to my scan, you are a perfectly healthy dead pain in my ass brat...despite your sluggishly beating heart. There's is absolutely nothing wrong with you as far as I can tell."

Jumping up, Harry started dancing triumphantly around the room. "See, I told you that I was fine."

"Seventh years at Hogwarts have it brutal," Severus explained. "Add that to Harry still adjusting to being a vampire, that could explain why he's eating and sleeping so much. The school also has no technology so no elevators, Harry probably climbs around a thousand steps a day. He's burning up more magic and energy than what he can replace with what little blood he gets while at school."

"And the jumping Carlisle's bones every fifteen minutes?" Emmett reminded with a smirk.

"He's a teenager," Severus answered simply.

"That, and sex with Carlisle is bloody fantastic," Harry giggled.

Crumbling up the test results, Carlisle stuffed the paper into his pocket. He was thrilled that the test confirmed that Harry was alright, but he still had nagging feeling that there was something very wrong with his little mate.

***HP

"Don't forget to pack your bathing suit," Carlisle reminded from where he was in the bathroom packing their toiletries. "Sadly we won't have the island to ourselves so you can't run around naked pretending to be a little wild boy."

"Can I still swing from your vine?" Harry asked, wagging his eyebrows up and down.

Shaking his head, Carlisle walked back into the bedroom. "Unfortunately we can't renew our Mile High Club membership either."

"What a boring vacation," Harry cried, flouncing onto the bed. "I guess we'll just have to get it out of our systems now before we leave."

Shaking his head, Carlisle tossed a pair of jeans at Harry. "Harry, we have had sex five time since you woke up, and that was only two hours ago. We have to leave in ten minutes if we want to make it to the airport on time."

"No fun, grumpy, old man," Harry teased as he slipped into his jeans. "You're a vampire and you're super fast, we could have sex fifteen times in ten minutes."

"You're insatiable," Carlisle chuckled, kissing his mate's pouty lips. "Come on, little one, let's get downstairs and wait for everyone else."

***HP

Watching as Harry and Seth chased each other around on the beach and took turns pushing the other into the ocean made Carlisle realize that maybe Harry's extreme tiredness was school related after all. He was still sleeping twelve plus hours a day, but he has been far more active and had more energy than what he has had in months.

Chuckling as Seth easily picked Harry up and ran with him into the water, Carlisle couldn't help but think that any other dominant would be jealous of their close relationship. The pair were practically inseparable. Harry was lucky that he didn't feel that way, especially since Seth had a body that was pure perfection. It would destroy Harry if he forbade him from seeing his 'soul brother' as he called him.

Giggling madly, Harry waved his hand over the water and made a jet of water magically hit Seth in face. "That's what you get for dumping me."

Spluttering, Seth wiped the salt water from his face. It was nice to swim in warm ocean water for a change. "Hey, I thought that you liked the ocean. You were the one who just had to jump in the frigid ocean sick with cancer just days after recovering from pneumonia."

"Doesn't mean I like getting dumped in head first," Harry grinned.

"They're worse than little kids sometimes," Bill said, taking a seat on the sand next to Carlisle. Over the past year and a half, the Cullen family and the tribe had become every bit as much of a family to him as his own. He was now living on the Reservation, not with Seth because he was still just a teenager in school, but he had his own small little house that was perfect for him for right now and he was working at Gringotts Bank in Seattle. Washington. All and all life was pretty perfect.

"I'll never get tired of seeing Harry so full of life," Carlisle said fondly, eyes still glued on his mate.

Smiling, Bill nodded his head in agreement. "Even when Harry was still alive and before the cancer, he was never this full of life, you could always see shadows behind his eyes haunting him, at the time though I had assumed it was Voldemort and the approaching war. I never suspected that his home life had been so bad.

"Don't blame yourself for not seeing it," Carlisle said. "You were only around Harry a handful of times before the cancer, there was no way of knowing the secrets he was hiding."

"I don't think I have ever seen a bond so strong between two people who weren't related or mated," Bill chuckled, pointing to their goofing off mate's in the ocean.

"They are special. It's a good thing we're not the jealous type."

"You can say that again," Bill snorted. "And it's a good thing that we trust our mates."

Finally taking his eyes off his mate, Carlisle turned to the red head. "How are things back home? Harry is afraid to visit the Burrow, he thinks your mom has it out for him."

Bill winced and laughed at the same time. "Mom isn't happy that the twins quit the Ministry and are setting up a joke shop, but she would never take her anger out on Harry. She just thinks that the twins will fail."

"And what do you think?"

"I think they're going to make a killing. My brothers may be the biggest pain in the asses, but their geniuses when it comes to their pranks. Harry was smart to get in on it."

Carlisle had been shocked when Harry had told him that he had offered the twins money to get their shop started. It wasn't that he thought he was wrong, Harry was just the type that didn't like to spend money...at least not on himself anyway. Other than art supplies, it was a struggle to get Harry to buy for himself, even if it was something that he really wanted. He was thrilled that he was taking an interest in the joke shop.

"I know Harry's excited about it, he was just worried about your mom."

"She'll get over it...eventually," Bill added with a smirk. "She adores Harry, she could never stay mad at him. The twins were miserable working at the Ministry and she knew it. She just decided to ignore it because she wanted them to have nice stable jobs."

Running up the beach, Harry collapsed on the blanket next to his mate and stretched out on his stomach. "That's it, I'm exhausted. Wresting a dog in the water takes a lot out of a person."

"Hey!" Seth cried, grabbing a towel and rubbing his face with it. "I heard that, Princess."

"I meant for you to hear it," Harry mumbled, face smashed in the sand. "So tired and the sun feels so good. Why do we live in cold, dreary Forks again?"

"Because there's not enough game for us to hunt here," Carlisle reminded again. At least five times a day while on the island Harry asked why they lived in Forks.

"Want to go exploring?" Bill asked Seth. This was his first time on the island. He didn't make the trip last Christmas because he was working on getting his transfer to Seattle's bank.

"You just wanna have sex," Harry yawned.

"Jealous?" Seth teased, kicking sand on Harry's leg.

Harry didn't even open his eyes, he just stuck his tongue out at his brother. "I'm too tired to be jealous, or have sex."

Noticing that his mate was really falling asleep, Carlisle gave him a little shake. "Harry, you can't sleep out here on the beach."

"Can, too," Harry said sleepily. "So nice and warm. Just watch me."

Accepting that he wasn't going to win and not wanting to fight while on vacation, Carlisle laid back on the blanket, it wasn't as though he had to worry about Harry getting sunburn.

***HP

Grabbing his side, Harry cried out in pain. "Dammit!" he cursed loudly. "It was right there. If it hadn't been for this stupid cramp in my side I would have seen my animagus."

"Are you alright?" Remus asked, stooping down in front of his honorary godson. "I didn't know that vampires could get camps."

Still rubbing his side, Harry grimaced up at Remus. "I'm fine and the cramp is gone, but it was really strange. I could feel myself connecting with my animagus, and right as I was starting to see something, a horrible pain shot up my side."

Remus thoughtfully scratched at his chin. "I have never heard of that happening before."

Sirius, who was at his desk grading papers, was frowning at the two most important people in his life. "Do you think maybe he's jumping right to his transformation? Harry does have a knack of doing things ass backwards."

"With Harry anything is possible," Remus joked, "but even if he was he shouldn't be in pain. It's not like becoming a werewolf, there's no pain involved when shifting into your animagus form."

"How many vampire/human animagi do you know?"

"You have a point, Padfoot," Remus conceded. "But it's March and he's only been working on his animagus for six months, he shouldn't be transforming already. Becoming an animagus is one of the hardest branches of magic there is."

"Well not only is Harry extremely talented, but he also has two of the best professors at Hogwarts coaching him through the process," Sirius bragged. "Not to mention two of the hottest professors."

Even though his side was no longer hurting him, Harry continued to rub at it. The pain had been very strange, but it has also felt like a warning. It was almost as though his magic was warning him against becoming an animagus.

Frowning, Remus waved his hand in front of Harry. "Hey, you alright there, pup! You zoned out on us there for a minute."

"I'm fine," Harry answered, still thinking about the odd pain.

"Do you wanna try again?"

"No," Harry quickly answered, climbing back to his feet. He had learned the hard way to trust his instincts and right now they were screaming at him to stop.

"Harry?"

"I'm fine, Sirius, I just remembered that I told the twins that I would stop by and help in the shop."

"I stopped in Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes the other day, and I must say, I was very impressed," Sirius complimented.

"They're doing awesome," Harry said excitedly. "Even with the kids in school they are making an impressive profit. I predict Zonkos will be closing down within a year."

"That's good to hear...well not for Zonkos," Sirius chuckled. "You're father and I spent a lot of galleons there when we were kids."

Face scrunching up, Harry tensed as another pain shot through him, this time in his lower abdomen. Not wanting to alarm his godfathers, he quickly bent over to retrieve his bag. What the hell was going on?

Harry was almost out the door when he stopped and turned back to the two men who use to mean more to him than anything else in the world. "We're having a birthday party for Seth this weekend at my house. I can understand if you don't want to come since you have never officially met Seth, but you're invited."

Sirius opened his mouth, but no words came out. He couldn't believe that his pup was inviting them to a family function. He had dreamed of becoming a part of Harry's family again, but he had honestly thought that it would never happen. As much as that hurt, he had come to accept it and just take whatever Harry gave them. After how they treated him, they deserved to be shunned.

"Since you seem to have broken your godfather," Remus said warmly with tears of happiness in his eyes. "I will accept for the both of us."

"Yes!" Sirius cried loudly, rushing to Harry and wrapping his arms around him. "Yes we'll be there. We wouldn't miss it for the world."

"It's just a small cookout," Harry said, feeling a little awkward and warm and fuzzy all at the same time. "If the weather permits it. If not then we'll be eating inside. Oh, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley will also be there."

"Thank you," Sirius whispered in his ear choking up a bit. "Thank you for giving us another chance."

"Don't blow it," Harry warned. "I can't take being hurt again. This is your one and only chance." He hadn't planned on inviting them, or even discussed it with his mate, but these past few months working with his godfathers had been a lot of fun. It made him realize how much he missed them and that he didn't want to lose anymore time with them. They weren't immortals like him, he didn't want to regret for the rest of his extremely long life not giving them a second chance.

"We promise that we won't blow it, Harry," Remus said sincerely, his amber eyes sparkling with happiness. "We love you too much to ever hurt you again."

***HP

"Owl orders," George sang, placing a stack of papers in front of Harry. "You wanted to help, so get boxing."

Taking a deep breath, Harry reached out for the orders and started flipping through them. For the past hour the cramps in his stomach had been getting more frequent and more painful. The last one was just a few seconds ago and the pain had been so bad that it almost brought tears to his eyes.

"These are all from Hogwarts. I thought Filch banned all Weasley products?"

"Ah, lovely Harriekins, Filch banned them, not Dumbledore," Fred pointed out with a wink.

"The crazy old goat was here just yesterday browsing and buying," George said with a smirk. "I often wondered if some of the pranks that we got accused of but didn't actually do had been him."

"Like the time in our fourth year when everyone's hair turned their house colors," Fred remembered wistfully.

"I thought the two of you did that?" Harry gaped. "That was totally something you would do."

"As much as it pains us, we can not take credit for that brilliant prank." George pouted. "And the next day after Mcgonagal scolded us for doing it and deducting thirty points each from us, the points had magically returned and Dumbledore winked at us from the staff table."

"He's a barmy, old codger," Harry giggled. "Look, I'll give you an hour of help filling these orders but then I have to get going home. I'm a growing vampire and fresh out of blood." That wasn't the real reason why Harry wanted to skip out on the twins, the cramps he was experiencing were really starting to freak him out. For two hours now they had been coming and going.

"An hour with the stunning Harry Potter," Fred gushed, batting his eyes at the vampire.

"You're such a dork," Harry said, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

"So how are things with Ronnie and his book worm?"

Groaning, Harry picked up one of the order forms and grabbed a box. "Well, he finally stopped muttering under his breath about me giving you guys so much money. Is he truly so thick as to not know that a vampire has excellent hearing?

"Yes," both Fred and George said at the same time.

Shaking his head, Harry grabbed eight Puking Pasties and dropped them into the box. Why would anyone want to suffer thirty minutes of puking just to get out of class? "Hermione sits a stares at me, either in longing, or in frustration."

George was following Harry filling a box of his own. "Do you think you will ever forgive them."

"Forgive? No, never," Harry said without hesitating. "I may be able to move on from it and be friends with them again, but right now I'm not really missing them or interested in rekindling our friendship. Those two knew me better than anyone, they should have known without question that I would have never have abandoned Sirius. One can also only take so much Ron's jealousy and Hermione's nagging. They were my first friends and I didn't know any better, not until meeting Seth. I never realized how conditional their friendship was."

"I'm not going to try to talk you into being friends with Ron again, but he does miss you. Little Ronnie was always a moody child prone to fits of jealousy. I guess that's what happens when you're the ugliest out of six boys."

Harry's laughter turned into a cry of pain. Dropping the box, he doubled over clutching at his stomach. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, it hurts!" he wailed, dropping to his knees.

Both Fred and George rushed to Harry's side, not hiding the fact that they were freaking out. "Harry, what the hell? What's wrong? What can we do?"

Chin to his chest, Harry panted through the pain until it passed and his muscles relaxed once again. "Im fine guys, but I think maybe I should go home."

Each taking an elbow, the twins helped Harry to his feet. "Do you want one of us to take you home or maybe contact Snape?" If Harry was showing that he was in pain, that it had to be something bad. Harry never admitted when he was sick or injured.

"Severus is at a potions thingie until next week," Harry said, giving the twins a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I'm not dying...again. I think I just need some blood and some sleep."

Frowning, the twins reluctantly allowed Harry to leave, but only after making him promise to visit them tomorrow so they could see for themselves that was still alive...dead...whatever the hell it was that he was.

***HP

Landing hard on the ground, Harry rolled into his stomach, cursing as the sun blinded him. He had forgotten that today was going to be a rare sunny day in Forks and that the family had left early that morning for Alaska to hunt and wouldn't be back until later that night.

"Fucking portkeys," Harry mumbled, gingerly getting to his feet. He always landed hard, but that landing had been one for the books. Dusting off his pants, he limped his way into the house.

Dropping his bag carelessly onto the floor, Harry collapsed onto the couch and curled up into a ball. What the hell was wrong with him? Why was he experiencing excruciating pains in his lower abdomen? As if summoned by his thoughts, pain tore through his stomach wrenching a loud cry from him.

Of all days for his entire family to be gone. His original plan had been to hang out and help the twins for a few hours, portkey back home and then hang out with Seth all evening. He was coming over right after school and they were going to play some video games and just goof off. It wasn't often that he got to spend one on one with his brother.

Pressing down hard on his stomach, Harry looked to the clock, whimpering when he saw that he still had three hours before Seth got out of school. He didn't want to be alone, not with whatever was going on with him. He was tempted to call Carlisle, but he needed to hunt big game now to keep up with his feeding demands. He felt bad taking so much blood from his mate, but he hadn't been able to help himself or stop. He was feeding twice as much now as he had been as a newborn. It would also take Carlisle a few hours to get home, even with his vampire speed.

What could cause stomach cramps that come and go and get longer and more painful with each one? Not knowing what else to do, he kicked of his shoes and closed his eyes. If he was lucky he would be able to sleep through whatever the hell was going on.

Seth was a mile from the Cullens' house loping easily in his wolf form when he froze. Cocking his head to the side and ears perking up, he listened intently, having sworn that he heard crying. Not hearing anything now, he shrugged his wolf shoulders and continued on.

He was looking forward to spending some bonding time with Harry. He loved his soul brother dearly, but for months Harry had wanted to do nothing but eat, sleep and have sex. He could totally understand the eating and sex part, those were his two most favorite things to do, but sleeping that much just wasn't normal, not even for a full human. He knew that Carlisle was worried, even Sev was worried now too, but all the tests kept coming back showing that Harry was perfectly healthy...heathy for him anyway.

Shifting back, Seth walked into the room, his trademark grin slipping off his face when he spotted Harry on the floor on his knees with his head resting on the couch and arms clutching at his stomach. "Harry!" he cried, rushing to him and falling to his knees.

"Don't touch me!" Harry screamed hoarsely. "It hurts so bad and I'm afraid if you touch me it will only make it worse."

Seth's trembling hands hovered over Harry's back. "What's wrong? What happened?" he asked, his heart plummeting when he got his first good look at his friend's face. His eyes were red, both from pain and from crying, his cheeks were stained red from his blood tears with more tears steadily falling, and his bottom lip had been shredded from where he had bitten it repeatedly.

"I-I don't know," Harry wailed, grabbing Seth's hand as another cramp tore through his body. His cramps were now coming on top of each other barely giving him a break to catch his breath. "My stomach started cramping this morning and it has only gotten worse. I have never been in this much pain in my life."

"It could be your appendix," Seth said frantically. "We need to get you to the hospital."

Breathing picking up, Harry let out a blood curdling scream when the cramp hit its peak. It felt as though a hundred swords were piercing his stomach and digging around.

"What do I do?" Seth cried in a panic. Harry had went to hell and back with his cancer and he never once screamed and cried the way he was doing now.

"I don't know," Harry sobbed. "I think I'm dying."

"Help! We need help!" Pulling out his phone, Seth stared at it not knowing who to call. He couldn't call 911 or take Harry to the hospital, he didn't think that they would know how to treat a half human, half vampire person. Severus was out of reach at some potions convention thing, the Cullens were in Alaska hunting in the wilderness where the cell probably wouldn't reach, and his pack was clueless when it came to medical stuff.

"You're not going to die, I'm not going to let you." Quickly dialing Carlisle, he cursed when it went directly to his voicemail. Now what?

Cramping letting up some, Harry looked to Seth through tired and pain filled eyes. "I-I can't do this anymore, I can't take the pain. Please...please get Carlisle for me."

Hands trembling horribly, Seth brushed Harry's sweaty hair from his face. "I tried calling but it went right to voice mail. He's probably out of reach."

Dropping his head onto the couch, Harry started sobbing. "I don't want to die without telling him how much I love him."

"You're not going to die," Seth snapped. "I'm going to get you help." He was halfway through dialing Sam when he picked up an odd scent, something that he had never smelled before.

Leaning back, Harry looked down at his lap in horror and disgust. "Holy shit, I just pissed myself. I didn't even have to go and there was no warning, just a gush of piss."

"That's not piss," Seth said, nostrils flaring as he scented the air. "It doesn't smell like piss."

"Then what the hell is it!" Harry screeched loudly.

"I don't know!" Seth hollered back. "Let me see."

"The fuck!" Harry cried, slapping the hand away that was heading towards his lap. "What the hell?"

"Harry, that's not fucking piss and that's not fucking blood, we have to find out what it is?"

Harry was absolutely mortified. He couldn't believe that this was happening to him. Not only was he going to die from horrible stomach cramps, but he had just pissed himself in front of Seth. At least the rest of the family wasn't around to witness his disgrace.

"I'm calling Sam."

"No!" Harry cried, snatching Seth's phone and hurling it across the room.

"What the hell Harry?"

"I'm covered in piss," Harry wailed. "I can't let the pack see that, they'll never let me live it down."

"Fuck, Harry, there's something seriously wrong with you and you're worried about what the pack will think? You were just screaming that you were dying."

"And I would like to die with some dignity," Harry huffed. "I'm seventeen years old and I just pissed my pants like a toddler."

"You didn't piss yourself," Seth cried out in frustration. "I know what piss smells like and that most definitely is not piss."

Feeling another cramp coming on, Harry started crying. "Why are you being so mean to me? I'm dying and you're never going to see me again and here you are hollering at me. Don't you love me anymore?"

Running his fingers through his short hair, Seth took a couple deep breaths trying to force himself to calm down. He needed to analyze the situation and figure out how best to help his stubborn brother. "Let's get you up and out of those clothes," he said, gently pulling on Harry's arm.

"Can't," Harry panted harshly, his body tensing as the cramp intensified. Here comes another one."

Seth watched feeling helpless as Harry curled in on himself and started screaming. He had never seen a person in so much pain before. "Please, Harry, let me shift and alert Jake that we need some help. Both him and Leah are running the border."

"If you shift," Harry panted, clawing at Seth's arms, "I'm going to turn you into a rug." Feeling intense pressure coming from down below, he leaned in on the couch and tried to force himself up. It was bad enough that he pissed himself in front of Seth, there was no way he was going to embarrass himself even more by shitting himself.

Seth jumped to his feet and grabbed onto Harry when he stood and started swaying. "Where the hell are you going?"

"Bathroom," Harry hissed between clenched teeth. The urge to go was becoming more desperate and he didn't think that he could hold it much longer. It would be a miracle if he made it to the bathroom on time.

"Ok," Seth said, trying to remain calm. "Maybe this is just really bad gas."

"It's not gas!" Harry screamed, doubling over as another cramp hit. "I haven't farted since my turning."

"Well there you go!" Seth cried hysterically, loosing his calm as he held Harry up as his legs gave out on him. "It's just a monster fart working its way out. A person can't go almost two years without farting."

"Put me down," Harry cried frantically, no longer able to hold it. Fart or shit, whatever is was it was, it coming out now. Could all this pain and suffering just be an atomic fart? Hopefully this wasn't something he was going to have to suffer through every two years. Maybe Sev could make some kind of gas relieving potion.

Seth gingerly lowered Harry to the floor, his nostrils flaring when he picked up the sent of blood. Looking down, he noticed blood seeping through Harry's soaked jeans. "That's it's these are coming off," he said with determination, working on the button and zipper of Harry's pants. "Farts don't make you bleed."

At the moment Harry was in too much pain to care what Seth was doing to him. It felt like something very large was trying to force its way out of his body. Closing his eyes, he gave in and pushed when the pressure became too great.

Wrenching Harry's pants off, Seth fell back onto his ass, his eyes wide and staring at his brother's genital area. "When the fuck did you get a second hole and why is there blood and other icky stuff coming out of it?" He left out the part where it was all swollen and hideous looking.

Harry couldn't answer Seth, all be could do was scream and push. Tucking his chin to his chest, he pushed with everything he had in him, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"What the hell is that!?" Seth bellowed, as something pushed against the opening of Harry's new hole from the inside. "Dude, is that like one of those parasite things that live inside of you and eat you from the inside out? I watched a show on it on the Animal Planet. This man had like a giant worm coming out of his ass and his wife helped pull it out."

"Shut up!" Harry screamed, damn near making the windows rattle. "Just shut the fuck up and get whatever the hell it is out of me. It's tearing me apart."

Face scrunching up in disgust, Seth reached out and poked at Harry's hole. "The shit I do for you, Princess. If this worm bites me, you are going to owe me big."

Feeling something give, Harry gave his best push yet, collapsing back onto the floor when he felt something slide from his body.

"Not a worm!" Seth screamed shrilly, completely and totally freaking out now. "So not a worm!" Laying on the floor in a puddle of blood and goo between Harry's legs was a tiny little baby.

Panting, Harry closed it eyes and let his body relax. It was over. Whatever had been inside of him was out and he had survived. He was going to swear Seth to secrecy after he recovered enough to move. He didn't want anyone to know that he had a fucking parasite living inside of him. It was no wonder he had been feeding so much from Carlisle. He had been feeding the damn worm, too.

"What do I do?" Seth yelled. He knew nothing about babies, he had never even held one before. Harry was the smallest person he had ever held before and that baby laying on the floor was a hell of a lot smaller than Harry.

"Step on it," Harry mumbled, still trying to catch his breath after the horrible ordeal he just suffered through. He was so tired. All he wanted to do now was sleep for a week.

"It's a baby, Harry!" Seth choked out, finally reaching out and picking up the small delicate being.

"Baby worm, adult worm, I don't give a fuck," Harry said weakly. "It's gross!"

The baby was very slippery and looked as though it wasn't breathing. Flipping it over so it was face down, Seth started tapping on its back and shaking it. "Fuck, Harry, it's a real baby, not a worm. You just had a little baby."

At hearing that, along with a weak whimpering, Harry's eyes snapped open. "Seth?" he cried breathlessly at seeing a tiny baby being cradled gently in his large hands. "What... How?"

"Not a worm," Seth repeated again. "You had a baby."

Feeling numb, Harry shook his head in denial. "I-I couldn't have, I'm not a girl."

"Are you sure about that?" Seth smirked, smiling at the little person in his hands that was now wiggling around and whimpering.

"I have a penis," Harry shot back weakly. "It can't be mine."

"Harry," Seth said patiently. "I just watched as you pushed this thing from your body from a hole that hadn't been there when I showered you after your teacher attacked you."

Harry felt as though he was going to pass out, this couldn't be happening to him. He was a boy, and boys most certainly could not have babies.

"Harry, I need you to take the baby so I can get some towels and call for help. The baby is breathing now, but it wasn't before."

"No!" Harry cried, attempting to scoot back away from Seth. "I-I don't know how to hold a baby."

"Neither do I," Seth said, placing the baby on Harry's stomach. "Looks like we're getting a crash course."

Harry automatically brought his hands up to keep the baby from slipping off his stomach. "This can't be happening," he cried fearfully. Finally summoning up his Gryffindor courage, he looked down at the 'parasite' that Seth had placed on his belly. It wasn't pretty, not covered in blood and some kind of white gross shit, but it was most definitely a human baby, not a giant worm. Using the sleeve of his shirt, he wiped the baby's face, smiling softly when it's eyes peeked open.

"Where did you come from?" Harry asked in wonder. He couldn't believe this, him and Carlisle had made a baby.

Rushing back into the room, Seth dropped a pile of towels next to Harry and started to gently wipe the baby off. "You see, Princess, when two people love each other very much..."

"I know how a baby is made," Harry grumbled. "I just don't know how THIS baby was made. I'm not a girl and I don't have any girl bits."

"I need to call for help," Seth said, noting that the cord thingie was still attached to the baby and Harry. Jumping up, he started searching for his phone that Harry had heaved across the room.

Harry couldn't take his eyes off his baby. He didn't know what to think, but now that it was here and getting cleaned up, it was actually kind of cute. He couldn't make out eye color or gender, but it sure had his wild black hair.

"Got it!" Seth cried triumphantly, crawling out from under the dining table. Relieved to see that it was still working and not shattered into a million pieces, he quickly dialed Bill. Bill should be home from work now and he would be able to get someone from the Wizarding World to help Harry.

"Bill!" Seth cried, some of his calm cracking. "Need you now at the Cullens, it's Harry."

Harry jumped when a loud crack came from the other side of the room. He had been so caught up in staring at his baby that he hadn't been paying attention to what was going on around him.

"Seth!" Bill called, rushing to his mate. "What is it?"

Not saying anything, Seth just pointed to where Harry was laying in the floor with a baby on his stomach.

"Sweet Merlin!" Bill gasped, rushing to Harry. "Harry, are you ok?"

Shaking his head no, Harry broke down sobbing. "How did this happen, Bill?

Bill carefully lifted the baby from Harry's stomach and wrapped a clean fluffy towel around it. "Seth, get me one of the pillows on the couch."

"Bill," Harry cried, tying to get his attention.

"Male pregnancies in our world is very rare, but there are a handful of documented cases. You're very powerful, Harry."

"Is it alright?" Harry asked fearfully, holding his arms out for his baby.

"Seth, lift Harry's upper half up and place the pillows under him," Bill ordered. Smiling down at the frightened teen, Bill placed the bundled baby back in his arms. "She, Harry," he corrected. "You had a little girl."

Now that he was sitting up more, he could now get a better look at his daughter. "She's beautiful."

Standing up, Bill looked seriously to his mate. "I'm going to portkey to the Burrow then floo to Hogwarts to get Madam Pomfrey. Keep them warm and calm. You did good, Seth."

Nodding his head, Seth took a seat back on the floor next to Harry and his daughter. Now that he was no longer the one that needed to be in control, he could feel how badly he was shaking. He had just delivered a baby. That hadn't exactly been the boys' bonding night he had been expecting to have with Harry