Day 28, Thursday, October 2010
Dear Journal,
I think I was like the first one in the camp to wake up early this morning. It was one of those nights again, where I couldn't sleep well for some reason. Trying to sleep well these days, is pretty hard for obvious reasons, but even before the world ended, I would always have trouble trying to fall asleep. My brain is always the most active at night, so that's why. I miss all the thoughts I used to have before falling asleep versus the dreadful thoughts I have now. It used to be just weird or random thoughts like...
.How does the internet even work?
.What should I wear tomorrow?
.Do I need to pee? I shouldn't have drank so much water before bed! (Still actually think that one, because I always have to pee in the middle of the night)
.Can animals understand us when we talk to them?
.I just remembered that embarrassing thing I said in second grade
.Is there a spider in my room?
. Imagining myself in a scenario that would likely never happen (Well, since the damn apocalypse happened, those kinds of thoughts are still a thing and even worse now)
So, I had to wait a bit for everyone else in the cabin to wake up. It was still dark outside when I first woke up, so... like I said, I had to wait but I didn't mind because it felt like I was finally getting some alone time. I just got to lay in bed, with peace and quiet and think to myself. I even had the most bizarre thought, what if all this is in my head? Like what if I suffered from some sort of accident and ended up in a coma, and this is all just a really messed up dream I'm having, about my pathetic self, trying to survive an apocalypse where dead people are coming back to life and trying to eat us? It's so stupid, I know. I can't believe I thought of that, but I wish it was true.
So, remember when I talked about Zane knowing someone here who wants to help us? Well, that someone is some dude around my brother's age, named Conner, I think that's his name, (I'm bad at names) Anyway, Conner has a truck hidden somewhere, for him to take us to the compound, but because of all the huffs out on the road, we can't leave yet. We just have to play nice here, until we can leave, but I don't feel safe here with most of the other people and jerk face. I feel like if someone does or says something wrong, by accident, in front of jerk face, then he'll punish them or worse, kill them. Because he's just like an annoying villain you would see in a movie or show. I am relieved though that there's good people here, like Pepsi and now Conner.
We were able to catch Bailey today! Also, Sam told me that Bailey can be mine if I want him, because she has a whole family of cats at the compound! I couldn't believe it! The compound sounds more amazing and dream-like every time I hear about it! I can't wait to keep Bailey and meet Sam's other cats! Sam, Eli and I, along with Coke and Chance, (Chance is a little kid who is friends with Coke) later played around outside the DC. We mostly played with Bailey for a while, having him chase after a string, which is always fun to do and watch. But then, other kids started joining in and my shyness started kicking in. So, I just decided to sit alone somewhere, to avoid interacting with them. It was like school all over again, where if I'm like in a big group and don't know most of these people, then I'm the quiet one who says nothing, and worry over them judging me and thinking I'm weird. I know I mentioned before that I'm fed up with worrying about stupid things that shouldn't matter anymore during the apocalypse, like my social awkwardness and what other people think of me... but it's really hard letting it go, I can't help it.
So, Marlana noticed I was sitting by myself and she questioned me about it. I told her I get nervous around new people and then she basically told me what I just wrote, that with all that's going on and what we've been through, that we shouldn't care about if someone is painfully shy. She even told me that I might find myself getting over it soon... I mean if Eli can get rid of his social anxiety, then why can't I? Then guess what Marlana asked me? She asked if she can read my journal, so that she can get to know me better and help me if I need to talk about my problems. At first, I thought I was gonna tell her, "No, it's too personal... sorry." But for some reason I just had this feeling... that I should let her read it, so I told her that I would go get it. We actually walked to the cabin together. I surprisingly don't feel any regret having Marlana reading this journal. I think it's because of how she is... she just has this calm, non-judgmental tone, that I think it will be easy for me to talk to her about stuff. It was pretty easy talking to her actually, because she read some of my journal today and we both had a long conversation about all I've been through. I guess Marlana is now like my therapist. I never had a therapist before, but I remember my mom was planning for me to go see one. I mentioned it before that Marlana was a guidance counselor, so she is indeed the perfect person to talk to.
After dinner, I hung out with DJ at the DC fence and we talked with Dakota and Cleo for a while. DJ asked them how they met each other and they both talked about how it was Dakota's cousin Rich, who set them up since he's best friends with Cleo. When Cleo was talking about Rich, she mentioned that he is gay and that was how they bonded and became besties pretty quickly. I could tell that DJ looked kind of interested, but I didn't think he was actually gonna ask if they could keep talking about Rich. Immediately, Dakota and Cleo knew DJ was gay. We all laughed at the way they realized it. Of course, they were both happy to tell DJ about Rich. They said that he's really fun and sassy, not the bad kind of sassy where someone is a brat, but that he is likable and has a well developed sense of humor. Also, they said that he loves to sing a lot, which made us laugh but that he's also a good singer. They even said that Rich was shot when they and the rest of the family were on their way to Mt. Hood to go get Sam. Fortunately, he survived and is currently recovering at the compound. So now DJ really has something to look forward to when we get there, that's cool for him. Goodnight.
Day 29, Friday, October 2010 (4 weeks into apocalypse)
Dear Journal,
So Sam, Eli and I couldn't sleep last night when we were supposed to. We noticed DJ wasn't sleeping in his bed, so we decided to sneak out of the cabin to go find him and see if Zane was still awake too. I was kind of scared to sneak out at first because I thought we would get caught by the wrong person and get into trouble. I totally thought my prediction was right when some dude approached us and sounded pissed. But it turned out he was just messing with us for fun and left. We all speed walked to the DC after that scary encounter happened. We found out that Pepsi saw us with that guy and she thought it was funny that he freaking scared us! After chatting and laughing together for a bit, DJ finally arrived and joined us. He said that it scared the chiz out him when he realized we were gone, when he didn't see us in our beds. Sam got that Icarly reference, so it was cool to find out that she loved that show too. DJ was drinking some alcohol (Moonshine) and the guys here who make the moonshine are nicknamed Moon and Shine. Most the adults were drinking and getting drunk, even Eli had some and I think he got a little drunk too. Dakota and Cleo were hilariously dancing! Marlana was also dancing with them too! It was a fun night watching drunk people do funny stuff compared to what I saw my dad do when he was drunk. A little while later, we all settled down and I listened to mostly Zane and the others have a deep conversation about religion and God. I have mixed feelings if God is real or not. I definitely believed in God when I was little, because when you're a little kid you believe in almost anything. If God is real, did he really allow the world to end in such an insane way?
This morning, we woke up to Sam being excited that Zane, Dakota and Cleo were let out of the DC! Those three left to go a mission with other prisoners. Before they left though, Zane let us know that we have to be ready to sneak out of here, the first chance we get. For some reason he also said that he's possibly not coming back, but Dakota and Cleo will, and they'll let us know when it's time to leave. I'm concerned about Zane now, obviously. I did hear him say that he would come back to the compound eventually, just not with us, which sucks. Right now, we're waiting for Dakota and Cleo to come back. They haven't been gone for too long yet, I'm not sure how long exactly they're supposed to be. I heard that Pepsi, Coke and Chance are planning on leaving with us too, which is good because they don't deserve to be here at this camp, they should be at the compound.
Day 30, Saturday, October 2010
Dear Journal,
I was too tired to write in this journal last night. We were finally able to escape Camp Glenwood, a little after Dakota and Cleo got back! We were able to sneak away together into the woods, when no one bad from the camp was looking. Cleo had to actually distract someone as the rest of us left and hid in a brush, so that we could wait for her. We did some little hiking before Conner pulled up with his truck and picked us up (Bailey was also in the truck, inside a carrier). We would've got to the compound in an hour or less, if it wasn't for the damn prisoners who caught up to us, and tried to take us out! DJ, Dakota, and Marlana were able to open fire and take some of them out! There was still one more truck behind us, when we noticed there was a herd of huffs ahead. The other truck luckily left, because of the herd coming. But, they didn't really leave, they backed up to park somewhere so that they could wait for us. We ended up deciding to leave the truck and hike through the woods, and up and down hillsides, to avoid the herd and the other truck with prisoners.
We made it to an old cabin, where it was Sam's grandpa's idea to stash food and supplies for a place to camp at here, which is freaking amazing! Before we made it to the cabin though, we had to climb under a bridge and stay quiet while a herd was passing by. Suddenly, Eli and I started sliding downward and out of panic, I accidentally let out a little shriek! It was horrible because of my stupid cry, huffs were now falling down around us! We were able to get out of that situation though, we climbed up with all our strength. I had never felt so much shame in my entire life... I almost got everyone else killed. That's my worst nightmare too and I can't believe that almost freaking happened! I tried my best to not break down in front of the others, but I failed. I was assured by Dakota and Sam that it wasn't my fault, and that no one blames me at all. I felt better knowing that they didn't blame me, but still... this is something that will haunt me for a while. We arrived at the cabin, by the time it was getting dark of course and immediately relaxed. The cabin is more cozy than I thought it would be. I mean the food and beds are great but the inside of it is somewhat nice. Turns out, there's more of these cabins around, thanks to Sam's grandpa. That guy was so prepared, I still can't believe it!
It's late in the morning now. Soon, we'll be leaving and we might get there today! Unless trouble finds us and it's delayed again. I do have strong hope that we'll finally make it and this journey will soon just be a memory.