(A/Ns: so, we've reached the end. Yes, i know some of this is repeated from the prologue. Okay so I've been writing this fic for over one year and it's been such a privilege to write. i just want to say a huge thank you to every single one of my readers. you've given me the motivation to write this, and im so proud of how it turned out and the fact i actually finished it, and people liked it?
please leave a review!
content warnings: mentions of addiction and all that.
disclaimer: i do not own Pandora Hearts)
Chapter 16: Epilogue
"Nepenthe"
Noun
1. a drug or drink, or the plant yielding it, mentioned by ancient writers as having the power to bring forgetfulness of sorrow or trouble.
2. anything inducing a pleasurable sensation of forgetfulness, especially of sorrow or trouble.
If you don't remember, my name is Elliot, and this was the story of the extent to which I went in order to fix his life for the better.
And his name is Leo.
I've long stopped questioning why I did it now. What would be the point? I could not and would not ever take back any of it. I won't take back what I said, either. You can't imagine in. You can't fathom it. You just can't.
I don't need regret, though, nor do I need pity for my own decisions. Because I'm happy now.
And that person I mentioned? The one I went to hell and back for, just to change his life? The one I spent endless nights on the bathroom floor with? The one I constantly worried for? The one I cried for?
He's happy too.
But I'll save the rest of the sappy bullshit for another time; I'm sure you want to know where we are now.
It was a surprise for me – not for him, obviously – but we both obtained A's in all four of our AS Levels. And from there, we each got offers to study at the best university in the country, with offers of A*AAA. I would read Medicine, exactly as I'd been raised to do, and he would read English Literature.
When it came to our actual A Level exams, in the end, I came out with A*s in Chemistry and Literature, and A's in Latin and Maths.
And Leo.
Leo got A*s in all four of his A Levels. And it was the first time I'd ever seen him cry of happiness.
To say I was jealous would be an understatement. But at the same time, he worked so damn hard. He caught up straight away after he missed those two weeks, and within a few days it was as if he'd never even missed a single minute. And with that natural intelligence, you couldn't have expected any less, either.
So really, at the same time, I couldn't have wished any less for him.
And the best part to me was that he used the money he would've spent on drugs to pay for university. And now we have a flat together in the city, with a bathroom and kitchen, and balcony. (Because, despite trying another couple of times after our exams, Leo never quite managed to quit the cigarettes entirely.)
I don't believe in fate. Although, whilst I'd like to believe this was just a coincidence, I can't shake the feeling that part was meant to happen.
If this didn't happen, where would we be now? I'd be lonely.
He'd probably be dead.
But he's not, and neither am I. Instead, we're about to make something of ourselves. And when it comes down to it, really, the most important part of his recovery was simply finding the motivation to keep holding on, as well as seeking something to alleviate the doubt each time it seemed fruitless.
If that "something" is me – or us – then so be it.
His reason to live; his strength.
His hope.
His relief.
His Nepenthe, and mine too.
Fin.