I Want To Break Free

I awoke curled tightly next to Sam in bed. I had not realized I had fallen asleep on him. He was not asleep at all. He was tracing circles as well as other various patterns on my shoulder. I felt the overwhelming urge to apologize for falling asleep on him.

"Sorry," I whispered.

Sam turned his head to look down at me. I slowly turned my head to look up at him. His hair was ever so slightly ruffled, and a little curl poked out by his forehead. His hair while it was gorgeous and well kept it was shaggy almost. It was not like a mop, but it was perfectly messy.

"Why are you sorry," Sam asked.

I shifted so that I was able to get a better view of Sam's face. He looked down at me with a hint of confusion.

"I fell asleep," I uttered.

Sam sighed as he pulled me closer to him. He wrapped his arms around me tighter. I closed my eyes as I felt the warmth radiate from his body. He was like a living, breathing and walking furnace. I was not complaining at all, and I actually rather enjoyed it.

"It is fine by me."

"Okay," I smiled.

Sam cleared his throat, "I was thinking of leaving Bobby's for a while to see if I can get information on Dean. I was wondering if you would like to come with me."

I opened my eyes to look up at him. I searched his eyes to find anything. I kept my mouth shut about what Castiel told me.

"Would Bobby approve?"

"No," Sam sighed, "He would not. So I am leaving tonight. If you want to come with me I'll gladly take you. If not I'll leave you here with Bobby."

"Can I think about it?"

"Sure," Sam smiled, "I am leaving much later tonight."

I sighed as I closed my eyes once more. My body melting like butter against his warm one. Sam pulled me tighter not wanting to let go. He moved me so that I laid on top of him. He laid down putting his head on a pillow. A thin floral bedsheet laid in between us for privacy, and the quilt lied over me. I laid flat against him with my head to his chest. My arms laying on the bed. Feet barely touching past his kneecaps.

"More comfortable?"

I whispered, "I am if you are."

"I am."

Silence passed over us as we rested. The silence swirled perfectly and ever so elegantly. It was a silent symphony that grew on us. A peace that put my heart to rest as Sam's beat twice as hard for mine.

My eyes slowly opened to see it was sunset outside. Had we really slept all day? I was no longer on top of Sam, but we were in an odd position. I was now on the other side of the bed facing the window. Sam was on the side by the door. We both faced towards the window, but we were not facing each other. He had me pulled close to him. His large left arm draped over me. My right hand in his left.

"Good morning," Sam groggily greeted.

I laughed, "You mean afternoon?"

Sam groaned as he shifted away from me. I was instantly cold, and I felt a shiver caress my spine. I felt the mattress shift as he got up from the bed. I rolled over to see him stretch out his arms. The grey shirt he wore rode a little too high. His stomach was toned well with six heavily defined ridges. Though, while those were impressive there was a very defined V-shaped mountain that leads into a valley by his perfectly sharp hipbones.

Sam laughed, "Like what you see?"

I shook my head, "Never seen a man without a shirt on. At least I think I haven't."

"Well, I am above average from other men," Sam laughed, "The hunting lifestyle has you constantly in shape."

I looked at him differently in that instant. What was hunting? Did he shoot animals for a living? What kind of lifestyle was that? I mean, if you needed the food to survive I saw a good use for it. To take the life of a living thing for one was not okay. God created those animals, and apparently, I was there for that. I still did not remember any of that.

"Hunting?"

Sam sighed, "It is a very long story. You know how monsters are real?"

I gave him a look, "Yeah?"

"Well, I hunt them and kill them. So that way they can not hurt anyone."

I was curious, "Does that not weigh heavily on you?"

"No, that does not really weigh heavily on me. You get numb to it after awhile. I have been hunting since I was younger. My father hunted when I was a little kid." Sam took a breath, "I did not shoot monsters until I was a little older. If I had a monster under the bed my father said kill it."

I looked at him to see he had a sadness as well as darkness inside of him. I slowly climbed off the bed. I walked slowly with bare feet over the wood floor. Sam froze as I placed a hand on his cheek. I rubbed my thumb right below the gentle giant's eye.

"You tortured soul. You have been through so much, and fate will wrong you. You are a just and kind soul." I paused so I could get a break, "No matter what life locks you up with I know you will survive. You will break free."

Sam laughed, and I shook my head at him. Why did I have a feeling I said something wrong. I looked down in shame.

"Hey, no it is nothing you said." Sam attempted to comfort me, "You said something that reminded me of something."

I sniffled, "What did I say?"

"Break free. There is a song Dean would play in the Impala," Sam laughed, "It goes," he cleared his throat to sing, "I want to break free."

I laughed as he began to sing the song. He seemed to dance around a little, but it was not a nice dance. It had an uptempo beat to it, and his hips rocked side to side to a beat. He sang with this accent, and I think he was trying to imitate the singer.

Sam continued to sing, "I want to break free from your lies. You're so self-satisfied I don't need you. I've got to break free. God knows, god knows I want to break free."

I laughed and yelped as Sam picked me up by my hips. He hoisted me up into the air and held me above his head as he spun. Luckily for me, I had barely half a foot to the ceiling. I almost thought I was going to have my head stuck in the ceiling like one of the cartoons that play on the VHR downstairs. He put me down, but not before he could spin me on my heels.

Sam sang again, "I've fallen in love. I've fallen in love for the first time, and this time I know it's for real. I've fallen in love, yeah." Sam smiled for a split second, "God knows, God Knows I've fallen in love."

We kept on dancing about the bedroom until the scent of delivery pizza called us down the stairs. We ran down the wooden stairs to see three large pepperoni and cheese pizzas sitting in the kitchen. Bobby was already eating a slice of pizza. Sam and I grabbed a plate and a slice. We eat in silence as we waited for anyone to speak. Sam sighed as he placed his plate on the table.

"Bobby, I am going to get Dean back somehow," Sam stated.

Bobby stopped mid-slice from eating. He turned his eyes to Sam, and then he placed the silce down on a plate.

"How?" Bobby asked, "We have tried everything."

"I'll figure it out," Sam stated as he placed his plate of pizza on the counter.

I looked up at him with wide eyes. Was he seriously doing this now? I slowly ate the cheese off my pizza as I watched this scene unfold. The cheese was delicious.

"Sam, where are you going?"

Sam yelled and guestered around, "To save Dean."

"What about Phoebe," Bobby trailed off.

"She is staying for a while."

Bobby asked, "How long?"

"A few months, but then she'll leave."

Bobby looked at me, "You'll leave when you get your memories back?"

"Yeah," I smiled, "I mean well Bobby, but I have another life out there. Maybe even a family who is looking for me."

"I know," Bobby sighed, "But even after you get them back could you visit?"

"Of course! You have helped me so much! I think I owe it to you!"

Bobby laughed, "Looks like I have adopted another kiddo."

Sam looked at me and back to Bobby. He looked in the direction of the door.

Sam smiled at Bobby, "You have always been a great father."

Bobby sighed, "Be safe."

"I will," Sam turned to me, "I'll call you at some point."

I smiled faintly at Sam as he left the house. The door shut behind his heavy footsteps. I rushed to the door with my plate of crust and sauce. The Impala's taillights shined in my eyes. The roar of the engine off in the distance as he left me.

Long Author's Note (sorry):

Dear Readers,

The song Sam sings briefly is "I Want To Break Free" by Queen. Also for those who are younger, a VHS (Video Home System) is a large tape cassette that could play movies. For me, I grew up on all the Disney movies on a VHS. The VHS tapes and system were released to the United States in 1977. While DVDs came out in 1995 we still had VHS tapes and systems. I do not think very many companies make anything VHS related anymore. Then again the record player is coming back.

As for my writhing style I tend to write stories with a stream of consciousness. One author who wrote like this is Virginia Woolfe (1882-1941). I do tend to have a lot of errors. I do apologize for this. I have a similar mindset as well.

That is all I have for a note other than please comment what you think.

-LittleLover11