APOV
I could feel the sun beating down on my skin, smell the olive groves that I passed every day on my way here. I was surrounded by all the scents that meant home.
I have lived here in Sicily ten years now, although it feels like it's always been home. I know my start was in a different place, a different country in fact and although I have been back to that country many times in the years that have passed, I don't fear it like I once had.
Sitting in the schoolyard as we took a break for lunch, I didn't acknowledge the member of staff who passed us. He was not here to teach or protect the nearly two hundred children who went to this school, no he was here for just me. Me, a Princess.
I always thought it was strange when people called me a princess as I was not born of noble blood. My bloodline is more important than royal though, as are the people I was born from. My mum had been a princess too, although to my dad she will always be his queen. I wish…. I wish I had seen them together because just like the love my grandparents share, I'm told there was no other love that could rival theirs.
Watching another guard pass a few moments later, you come to realise how guarded this place is. I was surrounded by many men and women who worked for my family, although to those who are not in the know, they're just ordinary staff, doing their job.
It was my dad's idea for me to be able to attend a real school, have as much of a normal life as I could. I knew what my family did and although the law and they are not on the same side, I wouldn't change any of them for the world.
"Hey Ana, are you coming to the bakery after school," Alexandra asked me, breaking me from my thoughts as I continued to play with my food.
"Yes, bakery, I'm in," Carlo said, sitting down with Aria.
"Not today," I told them quietly. "I have a family commitment."
"Awe, are you sure" she complained.
"Yes, sorry."
"I suppose I will have to put up with these two then, as long as they buy the cannoli."
I smiled when she said cannoli, probably the only smile I would do on this day. I knew someone else who loved cannoli too.
As they spoke about their plans for after school and the weekend ahead, I thought about where I would be in just a few hours from now.
Dad had asked if I wanted to stay at home, just like he does every year on this day. I couldn't, I needed to keep busy.
I remember my mum, remember her love more than anything. It took me a long time to realise that she wasn't coming home, it took a lot of tears from all of us too. She's still here with me, I thought, resting my hand over my locket, the one thing that I always keep close.
"Ana, are you ok," Aria asked.
Out of all of my friends she was the one who knew what today was as her father worked for my own.
"I will be," I said, smiling sadly at my friend.
The afternoon passed quickly and I was soon on my way out to the car, feeling Tomas fall into step beside me.
"One day, I will catch you out," I said, seeing a smirk appear on his face as we approached the open car door where Eli stood guard.
"And that will be the day I'm out of a job," he told me.
"Not if I have anything to do with it, you won't."
Tomas has been my personal guard ever since I arrived in Sicily as a small child. He's always by my side, my shadow unless I'm with my family. I know what happened to my mum, how she was taken away, so I know what it took to put that trust in someone to look after me. Tomas out of all the people who worked in the business was the only one at the time that was trusted for the job. I have other guards too, like Eli but Tomas is in charge.
Pulling out into traffic, we were surrounded by the cars of those other guards, most who had been patrolling the school today. Once we were fully underway, Tomas turned to me.
"I have received instructions to bring you straight to your grandparent's home."
"I know," I said, quietly.
Today is my mothers birthday and like on the anniversary of her death, it's always been a sad day in our family. I don't want this day to be sad any more though, I want to celebrate her birthday, just like she would want to celebrate mine.
"Did you get what I asked for?" I asked Tomas.
"Yes, it's all in the trunk. Are you sure."
"Yes."
We approached the gates of my grandparents home being waved straight through. I ignored all the armed guards that were patrolling the grounds as they were part of the scenery to me now.
Stopping outside the door, my grandparent's housekeeper came out to greet me.
"They're on the hill, waiting for you dear," she said, giving me an aged smile.
"Thank you."
I went to the trunk, removing the flowers and also the group of red balloons. I know her body lies in the ground but if I know my mother, her spirit is free. She will be floating up there, looking down on us all, watching us, watching me as I've grown. I speak to her all the time, telling her how we are, how much we miss her but just this one time, for her birthday, id like to give her something more.
As I touch her locket, I hope that when they reach her, these balloons and our words will give her something to touch and keep hold of too.
Tomas walked with me up the hill to where my family were waiting. I could see the puzzled looks on most of their faces, expect Uncle Mac who was always up for anything that was fun.
"Happy birthday mum," I said, placing a kiss to my hand which I then put onto her headstone. Placing the flowers down, I turned to my family.
I could tell today had not been a good one for my dad because as soon as I gave the balloons to Tomas, I was pulled into his arms.
I hugged him tightly, knowing I was home, inhaling his familiar scent. Mum made sure I knew who my family were. She described them all to me, especially the man who held me now.
"What are the balloons for," Mac asked, as I turned to face him.
"I wanted to write mum a message, send it up to her. I couldn't afford a rocket ship or was stupid enough to send a car up and pollute the atmosphere with more junk, so I thought a balloon would do. I know we're all sad to be here but I want to celebrate mums life, remember her as she was, not where she is now."
"I think that's a beautiful idea," my grandmother said, squeezing my hand.
We all took our time, writing the words that were sometimes too painful to speak but we wanted her to hear. Watching the balloons lift into the air, no matter how much I wanted this to be a happy day, the tears as always were there.
"I miss you, mum. I miss your hugs, I miss your smile, I miss being covered in flour with you. When I grow up, I want to become a baker, and I will find a way of sending a cake up to you."
"Not rock cakes" Mac teased, making me giggle. "They will hit the ground."
He had his arm wrapped around my shoulder, being the silly uncle that I needed him to be.
"No, I'm sure I can make something a little lighter, something Italian so she knows where I am now."
"She knows sweetheart," Granddad said.
"Yes, she does Ana. If your mother had one wish, it was that we found you" my dad told me.
"I'm glad you did as there is nowhere else I would want to be more than here, home."
We spent a while on that hillside, speaking to my mum. Up in the sky, down on the ground. It didn't matter if the words were written or spoken we would try to get them to her.
…
"Good night dad."
"Good night sweetheart. Don't stay up too long on the phone, you still have school in the morning."
"I know, love you."
"You too Ana."
I kissed dad's cheek before heading up to my room. As I approached my bedroom, I could hear my phone start to ring inside. I knew he would call, today of all days and hearing his voice was the best thing for me before I finally went to sleep.
"Ana."
"Hi Christian, how's Seattle."
"Pissing it down but that's the last thing you need to hear. How are you."
"I'm ok."
"Really, ok, fine, they're words we said we would never use to let the other know how we're feeling."
"Sorry" I mumbled, climbing into my bed.
I had known Christian a long time, just like I knew his brothers Elliot and Ethan too. We had grown up together, having families in the same business, families who despite living on two different continents were very close.
"Don't ever apologies Princess, speak to me."
"I miss her so much Christian. Some days I fear that I will forget all the little details of our time together. I will never forget her face as it is all around me but as time goes on, I struggle to hold onto the memories of the time we shared."
"You were five Ana, a baby."
"I know. Some memories are still so vivid, but a lot are slipping away."
"I want to kill him" he grumbled.
"You can't, he's already gone. We sent the balloons off" I told him, wanting to change the subject of killing people, although if he was still alive, I would like a go at him too.
"I'm glad, my mum sent a balloon off too when I told her of your plans."
"Mum will get them all together then. How've you been, working?"
"Dodging bullets, and firing off quite a few of them myself too. Mine don't miss though."
"If one hits you, Christian, I'm going to be pissed."
"My feisty little princess, what am I going to do with you" he laughed.
"Let me punch Leila if she comes near you again."
"With pleasure" he laughed. "You can punch all of my mum's skanky friends, I doubt she would mind. They're all fake, personality, body and all"
"How do you know that their bodies are fake," I asked, feeling a tinge of jealousy flow through me. "I thought you weren't interested in Leila Lincoln."
"I'm not, you know that. You're the only one for me Ana" he told me, repeating what he has been telling me for years, even when we were children.
"Remember that when you meet the one and take her home to meet your parents."
"Ana, I'm seventeen, it will be a long time before I ever take anyone home to meet mum, besides bringing someone into this life is not the best thing to do."
"Tell me about it. Think of the poor guy I bring home to meet my dad, granddad or worse Mac… did you just growl?" I laughed.
"That was my stomach" he protested.
I knew he was talking shit because if his stomach could growl that much, I think he needs to see a doctor.
"Is there anyone?" he asked, quietly.
"Besides you."
"Besides me, yes.
"Never… I have boys who are good friends but my guards always up, the girls too. I can never completely show anyone that isn't family the real me for fear of them not being real themselves."
"I understand that Ana, I do. As Elliot, Ethan and I get older, you always have to be wary of the girls you take home for fear of them being a fed."
"I know what you mean but in the same sense I didn't need to know about you taking girls back to your place."
"I was speaking figuratively Ana" he laughed. "Or I could've been describing Elliot. I think you're the only girl around our age that he doesn't try and hit on."
"Only because my dad or yours would shoot him" I laughed.
"Probably, but its more that you're like his little sister, Ethan's too."
"I see them as brothers too, but you though, you've never been the brother to me. More, my best friend."
"I can agree to that Ana," he said and I could hear someone speaking in the background.
"Is that Elliot?" I asked.
"Yes, we're just about to go to work. A gift we've been waiting for has just arrived."
"Ok, I will let you go. Be safe."
"I will Princess. If you need me, call, no matter what time it is."
"I will, I will speak to you soon."
"You will see us soon too. We have a sixteenth birthday party to attend soon and you know wherever the Cannoli's are, I will be."
"I will make sure there are some here for when you arrive then" I laughed. "Love you."
"Love you too Ana, sleep well little Princess."
After ending the call, I placed my phone onto my dresser, unable to stop the smile on my face from appearing.
I think I was six, maybe seven when I met Christian for the first time. He's only a couple of years older than me and as his brothers were running around, getting into mischief, he was the quiet one who came into the library, picked up a book and sat by my side. That trip we spent a lot of time together, so much so that when it was time for him to leave, we both cried. I loved my best friend and I told him so, a sentiment he returned. I love him very much but as I said to him, I know there will come a day when he meets the one. I just hope when that day comes, she likes me because if she doesn't, it's tough because Christian was mine first and I'm not going anywhere.
...
Saturday morning, I lay in bed, listening for the world to wake. I could hear the birds outside the window, hear my dad moving around the house, sometimes speaking on his phone too. A new day had started and I would start it too when I could be bothered getting up.
I love this house, built after I had come to live in Italy. It was built to the specifications that my mum and dad agreed on, it even had the kitchen that my mum had chosen. My room, dad and I had chosen everything together and despite dad worrying that they would bring bad memories, also included some items that I had back then. My mum's puzzle box, my doll. Despite how old I get, my doll still sits on my dresser within reach if I ever have a bad night. It's not often I have a nightmare of being back there but if ever I do, I can just reach for it or more importantly, be wrapped in my dad's arms.
It was my bladder that won over for me to get out of bed and that was only after I had checked my phone for the message that I knew would be there from Christian, letting me know he was back home again.
After having a quick shower, I went down to join my dad for breakfast. He had already started making pancakes for us, knowing despite loving all the Italian food, I still like to have them for breakfast as they were what I remember on occasion mum made for me. I took over when his phone rang again, feeling a kiss to the side of my head before he disappeared into his office.
I knew if I asked, he would tell me what was going on as there were no secrets between dad and me. I only want to know if it involves me though, otherwise, ignorance is bliss.
"Ana, are you still ok with spending the day at your grandparents."
"Dad, it's hardly a chore to be around there. You're lucky I come back here some days" I teased.
"Cheeky" he laughed.
"I'm fine dad. I have homework to be getting on with and I can just as easily do it there as I can here."
He nodded, smiling at me. I know he had to work and I knew from being asked to spend the day at my grandparents, the work wouldn't be nearby. I could've easily gone out with my friends today, surrounded by guards but I knew they would all worry. Besides I needed my grandmother's input on some dresses for my birthday party next weekend.
Packing my laptop and iPad into my bag with my homework, dad and I were soon taking the short drive to my grandparent's house.
"That land you were looking at. Did you buy it in the end or did granddad."
"I bought it, I was quicker than him" he laughed.
"Don't let granddad hear you say that. He's still faster than most men half his age."
"Don't I know it. He has crept up on me before now and given me a clip around the ear."
"I would've liked to see that" I giggled. "Then again, I would've probably told him off for hurting you."
It was good to see dad laugh, despite the stressful life he leads. Seeing the smile on my granddads face as we pulled up, that was good to see too.
"What's so funny," he asked, pulling me into a hug.
"We were just talking about how fast you are and how you can still give a good clip around the ear."
"Always when needed. Well, apart from you my dear. You can do whatever you want."
"I will remember that if I ever get the urge to go shopping and ask for your credit card."
"I will give it to you freely" he laughed, taking my bag from me.
"Ana" dad said, stopping me for a moment as granddad went into the house. "The land that I bought. It's yours, ready for when you're older and you're ready to move out."
I smiled, kissing his cheek.
"I won't be moving out for a long time. When I do though, we'll be neighbours," I told him.
"Good thing too, as I still want to see you every day."
"That's fine by me," I told him as we made our way into the house.
….
Dad left with Granddad and Uncle Mac shortly after we arrived. I don't know when they will be back, only that they will leave a message when they can. I have a room here, the same one that I had when I came here as a child so staying over was no problem. I would still worry though.
"Have you decided on a colour for your dress?" Grandma asked me as we took a seat at the dining room table, laying the fashion magazines out in front of us.
I'm leaving everything so late but with spending most of the holidays either here or at home due to some trouble, there was not much time for shopping. That trouble has been dealt with I'm told but in this life, as is the reason for my family all disappearing today, there is always more around the corner.
"I was thinking blue. Are you sure Liesl can make it in time, I've hardly left her enough time to get the materials, never mind make my dress."
"You've seen Liesl's store, it's full to the brim with bolts of fabric. All she needs to know is the colour, the material you want it made from and the type of dress. Now why blue" she teased.
"It..it.. it will match my eyes," I said, stuttering, not wanting to admit to her that it was Christian's favourite colour on me.
"Blue it is then" she smiled, kissing my cheek.
We looked through all the magazines, deciding on the type of dress that I wanted. Soon we were emailing Liesl with our choices, receiving a message quickly back that she was on it.
I spent the remainder of the day with my grandmother, and also spent the night too. I heard them come back in the early hours of the morning and from the sound of it, things had gone well. Dad and Mac were loud as usual, being told to shut up by granddad. That made me giggle because no matter how old they get, they still act like kids, causing granddad to show them who's boss. Upon hearing my dads door close, I was finally able to settle and get some sleep.
….
"I can't wait until your party" Carlo said as we sat in the cafeteria, forgoing the schoolyard today because as Christian would say, it was pissing down with rain.
Carlo was letting us all know about the tuxedo his mother had bought for him.
It's a sweet sixteen not prom but if I know his mother she would've bought it too big so it will still fit him then.
"What's the theme of your party," Aria asked me.
"Sweet sixteen" I laughed.
"No, I mean like, Giorgia had a beach themed party."
"Don't I know it, the sand ruined my shoes" Alexandra grumbled.
"I hear Giada and Jacopo had sand in places you don't want to have it in," Carlo said, making us all laugh.
I was thankful that I missed that party, being full of a cold. That's the story that was given anyway. Having a contract put out on you, no matter what age, doesn't put you in the party mood. It also made my very overprotective family ready to kill anyone who looked at me the wrong way.
I was in the mood for my party, especially having my family all around. Thinking of family, I would've happily squealed if it wouldn't have had security pulling for their guns. My happy mood is to do with my best friend and his family who this evening would be arriving from Seattle. Two weeks they're here and although I will be in school during the day, I will make sure I spend every moment I'm not with them.
…
"So Ana, will you save me a dance at your party" Carlo asked as we headed through the corridors towards the exit where I know Tomas would be waiting.
"Of course, I doubt I will be sat down so there will be a lot of dancing to do."
"I know there will be dancing, I just meant…."
"You're a good friend Carlo, Alexandra and Aria too. I don't know where I would be without such good friends."
He nodded his head as we reached the door. I know he had a crush on me, had done for some time. We would never be more than friends though and he had to know that.
Walking out of the door, I was surprised to find Tomas missing. My steps faltered for a second, my instinct to run back inside nearly winning over as the car was not here either.
My legs moved forward though, at quite a speed now as a squeal left my lips. In just a few steps more, I jumped into Christian's arms.
"You're here, you're here, you're here" I chanted, making him laugh as he swung me around.
"I thought I would surprise you. Do you already have plans" he asked, looking to Carlo.
"No, Carlo was just walking me out," I said, seeing Christian's stern gaze towards my friend.
I smacked his arm, earning a laugh from Christian as I said goodbye to Carlo.
"Still got a crush, I see," he said, showing me to his car.
"Still one-sided" I confirmed, earning a smile. "When did you get here," I asked.
"Not long ago. Your granddad had my car at the airport, knowing that I would want to come straight here."
"I'm glad you did. It was a lovely surprise. How have you been."
"Busy. Dad has us doing everything, making sure we know the ins and outs of the business" he sighed.
"What is it," I asked.
"Nothing, what would you like to eat for dinner. I told your dad not to worry and that you would be with me."
"My dad worries 24 hours a day Christian. Him not worrying is an alien thing to him, no matter how many times I tell him that I'm ok."
"You're very precious Ana, to all of us. He's not the only one who worries that you're going to disappear."
"I'm not going anywhere Christian, apart from where we're going to, so you can tell me what is really bothering you."
He smiled, driving us into town where we picked up something for dinner before he drove us into the hills that surrounded the town. My grandparents owned a lot of land here. A lot, although surrounded by high walls was unoccupied.
Entering one of these properties, Christian drove us towards the disused barn, parking up just at the side. We could see the whole town from here, the whole area in fact, down to the sea. Taking our dinner, we found a spot on the now dry grass to sit before we started to eat.
We had sandwiches, lots of different meats and some cannoli too. Despite wanting to dig into his dessert, Christian took a sandwich first.
"I've been speaking to dad a lot recently," he told me, placing his half-eaten sandwich back onto the paper. "On the flight over though, we were speaking about my future."
"What about it," I asked.
"About me taking over, when I'm old enough, when I'm ready too."
"Is that something that you want to do."
"Yes, but not for a while yet. Dad wants me to train as his second in command, his underboss."
"What about Elliot," I asked.
"You know Elliot, he's amazing at following orders and will always have your back but he has no interest in taking charge."
"How soon are we talking, I mean you're not even eighteen yet."
"It could be a long while, Ana. Dad just wants me prepared that if anything should happen to him, one of us is ready to take over. There is another catch too."
"What, you have to hit a specific target of how many people you kill" I laughed before taking a sip of my drink.
"No, I have to be married."
I spat my drink out, feeling his hand come to my back, patting gently.
"What, married. Shit, you had better find someone quick before Leila Lincoln hears about it."
"Ana, I wouldn't touch her with Elliot's co..." his words were silenced as I placed my hand over his mouth, not wanting to think of any of Elliot like that.
I mean he's like a brother to me. Ew, gross.
Another gross thing was Christian licking my hand when I was yet to remove it, his laughter echoing over the hilltop. This is one of the things I love about this boy, this man. It's his ability to be comfortable when it's just us two and show me the real him.
"What are you going to do," I asked, not wanting to think about him with any other girl, let alone a Lincoln.
"Hope to god dads around for a very long time because when I do marry, it's going to be to someone I love."
"It won't be no skanky woman then otherwise I would disown you. She would have to get used to you having a girl as a best friend also" I said, feeling his body stiffen next to me. "What's wrong."
"Nothing, I'm just happy to have you in my life. No one would ever replace you, Ana. I can talk to you, more than even my own family sometimes."
"If you do take over, I could be your Consigliere".
"Your dad would have a fit" he laughed and I knew that was true.
"Maybe, but girls can be tough too, strong."
"You're the strongest person I know Ana. To have survived what you did."
I tried to stop them but my thoughts went to that dark place, knowing how much my mum would've had to go through, just to survive. I remember the shouting, mum telling me to hide. I tried, I really did but he would always find me.
"Ana, come back to me princess. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to send you back there."
I settled into his arms as he wrapped them around me, waiting for my heart to calm down.
"I'm fine Christian, sorry, I'm ok." Hearing his growl, made me giggle as I pulled back to look at him. "I'm not there any more, I know that. I'm here with you, with dad. My mind may stray sometimes but with all of you, I know I will be ok. ok. ok."
I laughed when he tickled me, knowing I'm one of the most ticklish people there is. I was soon pleading with him to stop, which he thankfully did.
Talk of work, marriage and evil people was put aside for the rest of our time up on the hill. We spoke about school, friends, both his and mine and about my upcoming birthday. We also spoke about what he wanted to do with his time here. Relax and be by my side was the only thing so far but I'm sure when Mac mentions surfing he would be up for that too.
…..
Arriving back at my grandparent's house, I was pulled from the car by Elliot and swung around. I could hear Christian protesting but as usual, Elliot ignored him, handing me over to Ethan who swung me around too.
"Will you stop growing up" Elliot complained. "Your dad will need an army soon to swat all the boys away."
"I have to grow up sometime and besides, I don't need any more guards, I already have an army as it is" I laughed.
"Yes, you do have to grow up. You grow more beautiful every day, just like your mother did" Grace said, hugging me now that the brothers had let me go.
I smiled, returning her hug. I had become very close to Grace over the years and I loved hearing about her time with my mum. I was close to my friends here but it was nothing compared to how close mum and Grace were, how close Christian and I were either.
Once I had said hello to Carrick, we made our way into my grandparent's home where my dad was waiting.
"I'm surprised you didn't call as soon as Tomas didn't bring me home" I teased, laughing when dad pulled me in for a hug.
"I knew you were in safe hands. I also know Christian will shoot anyone who dares look at you the wrong way."
"Can I shoot Carlo then?" Christian asked, hearing a no from us all. "Shame."
I laughed, looping my arm through Christian's as we made our way out onto the terrace where my grandparents were waiting. There was food all about, some already having disappeared by the state of the plates, but having already eaten myself, I ignored what was left and continued to speak to my family.
I loved this time when we were all together, wishing it happened more often. Resting my head against Christian's shoulder, I smiled feeling his kiss to the top of my head.
"How many are coming to your birthday party Ana," Ethan asked me.
"Just a few friends from school. You know me not wanting a big party."
"Which you're having."
"I know" I grumbled at my granddad. "If I have to be in a large group, I want to be surrounded by family and friends I care about, not having the whole school there just to make up numbers. I did get a few comments from some of the popular girls who were not invited but they're not my friends so they can find their free meal someplace else. All that will be there are meant to be."
"Including boys," Elliot asked, raising his eyebrow.
"I hope so unless you have decided not to come" I teased.
"You know what I mean" he laughed. "Boys from school specifically the boy my brother would happily get rid of."
"Will you all stop" I laughed. "Carlo is a good friend and he knows I'm not interested so leave it, otherwise you would've come all this way just to be banned from my party."
"Your dad and ours will be on boy watch then," Elliot said, making me giggle as our dads nodded their heads.
….
The morning of my birthday I woke up early. Our house would be busy this morning as a hairdresser had been arranged to come around and give me a trim. Later on, there would be someone coming to do what little makeup I wore. Grandma is coming, Sofia, Mac's wife too. As Grace will be joining us, it will be nice to have some girl time before I'm once again surrounded by all the boys.
Hearing a knock on my bedroom door, I told my dad to come in.
"Happy birthday, Ana," he said, coming to sit by me on the bed.
I hugged him tightly, so thankful that I get to spend another birthday with him.
"I'm sixteen."
"I know, where has all the time gone. I remember bringing you here for the first time, holding you as we walked around the property."
"I remember. I held on to you tightly, refusing to let go."
"You did have a grip on you back then" he laughed. "That's not changed now. You hold on tight to those who matter."
"I never want them to disappear" I admitted.
"They won't Ana, never. Now birthday girl, I have something that I have held onto for many years. Something of your mothers that now belongs to you."
He brought out a bracelet, filled with charms. There were many including flowers, a boat, also little gems and one that was shaped like a cannoli. That one made me laugh. Each of them had been bought by my dad for my mum and I know they would be special to her.
"I can wear it today, with my locket," I said, pulling my locket from the top of my t-shirt, before placing a kiss on it. "I will be surrounded by mum."
He nodded, unable to speak as he pulled me tightly into his arms. No matter how much we speak about my mum or visit her grave, we still miss her so much.
"She's with you Ana, always."
I kissed his cheek, wiping first mine and then his tears away. I took the small pile of cards from him then, before starting to open them.
First, was a card from Chicago, from Aldo and Pippa. I had only met them twice before but they always send me a card, some dollars in it too.
"I don't think I can spend dollars here" I laughed.
"We can get it changed or save it for the next time we're over there."
"I think I will save it. I will feel like I'm buying something with their money then."
The next card I opened was from Claire, Eamon and the girls. I struggle to remember what they look like sometimes, having not seen them since I was younger. I know Claire was friends with my mother but that time there, I try to block out.
I received a few other cards from families associated with my own here in Sicily, some I see quite often. None would be at my party tonight though otherwise, my medium sized party would be quite large.
"I'll go and make breakfast. Go and enjoy a shower before everyone arrives."
"Dad," I said as he got up to leave the room.
"Yes, sweetheart."
"I want to go and visit mum sometime today," I told him.
"That's fine sweetheart. How about we push your hair appointment back an hour or so and I take you down there. We can bring your grandmother and Grace back here with us."
"I'd like that," I told him before he kissed my forehead and left my room.
….
I was sat talking to mum when grandma came up to take a seat. She smiled looking at me, brushing a tear away that I hadn't known had fallen with her wrinkled hand.
I love this woman dearly and I dread to think where I would be without her now. Asking your father for sanitary products when you bleed for the first time, taking him shopping for my first bra. All that was thankfully avoided because grandma was there. I know dad would have taken me and struggled through it, but seeing him cringe when I put pads on the shopping list I'm thankful he didn't have to. He soldiers through most things though, because of the amazing dad he is. For everything else, there's grandma.
"No tears today, my beautiful girl."
"They're inevitable Grandma. She missed so much."
"She has in the physical sense but she's with you every moment of the day. Do you think she would stray far from her little girl, that wouldn't be my Carlotta."
"When I'm on this hill, it's like I can feel her. The breeze pushing back a stray hair, like she always did. My hair as a child would never do as it was told" I said, smiling.
Knowing how much I had to do to even get it straight now, it hasn't changed much.
"I know Ana. I could easily fool myself when I sit here a long time, that I can hear her laughter on the breeze. She's free now of pain, of anyone who would try to hurt her or you. She's free to go about as she pleases but I know she won't go far from here. Maybe one day if you ever move, ever travel she will travel too but just know she will always be there."
I lay my head on grandma's shoulder, feeling her kiss to my hair. We sat like this for a long time before dad came up and told us it was time to go home.
….
Being pampered was a lot of fun, although I felt sorry for my hairdresser who looked terrified every time my dad and granddad came passed. There was no girl time really as having a stranger in the house, everyone seemed to congregate here, mostly to keep an eye on the man with the scissors. At this rate, I would be lucky escaping with two ears.
No cutting my hair too short. If I hate it and he makes me cry he's in for it. That's what they told him. By the time the poor man had finished, he was practically running out of the door.
"You're all mean. I'm surprised my hair has been cut straight" I complained, especially to Christian who had sat in the chair opposite polishing his gun.
"He was a pussy" Elliot laughed. "The guards outside said he was shaking as soon as he got out of the car. I won't have someone like that around my girl."
"Your girl?" Christian asked, not best pleased with his brother's comment.
"Yes she's mine, aren't you Ana, or ours," Elliot told him, coming over to hug me.
"If you mess my hair up and I have to ask that poor man to come back, I will kick your arse."
"She's not my girl, she's scary," Elliot said, making me laugh.
"I'm my own person, I belong to no one. Well apart from dad, mum, grandma, granddad, uncle mac, aunt Sofia, Christian, oh and the dog you're going to get me for Christmas."
"You still want a dog," Christian asked. "A pouffy little one to carry around in your purse."
"Hell no. I want a real dog, a big one that can take a chunk out of anyone I don't like. There are a few at school I could introduce him too."
"A large dog, are you sure," Dad asked me.
"Yes, why."
I think I was about ten when I first asked for a dog. There was a lot of trouble at the time and I was being moved about a lot with my grandmother, different safe houses and such. I told dad that If I had a big dog then he wouldn't need to get me so many guards. One dog could rip the baddies up. He smiled at the time, saying he will see when we're back home again and things calm down. I don't think anything will ever be calm in this world but as dad disappeared from the room, coming back holding a puppy in his arms, I think it was time.
"Oh my god," I said, brushing a tear away as dad put the pup into my arms.
I didn't care about my hair or make up any more, I just cuddled this big boy close.
"What breed is he," I asked.
"A Neapolitan Mastiff. You wanted big and he was the biggest breed I could find close to here."
"Do you have a name" Christian asked, having his hand licked. "It will have to be something tough, a strong name."
"Yeah, like Wolverine," Elliot said.
"I'm not calling my dog, Wolverine. No matter how much he may like it" I laughed, as the pup licked my cheek.
"Hugh then, for Hugh Jackman."
"No, you're getting worse" I laughed. "Hugo though."
Earning myself a bigger lick from my pup, a nip to my hand too. I think he likes that name.
"Hugo. No pansies that I know are called Hugo, I like it" Elliot told us.
"I'm glad I've got your approval," I laughed. "Come on Hugo, let's go and take you out."
I took him out into the garden, pulling Christian along too. He was just as enamoured with my pup as I was and was thankfully quicker than me when Hugo made for the wildlife pond dad and I had dug one summer.
"Stay out of the water, it's not good for you," he told Hugo who headed straight back towards the water as soon as he was put down again.
"I would say a little fencing is needed in the future" Granddad laughed as Christian picked him up again.
To save Hugo taking a dunk in the pond, we took him around to the front of the house, where he explored the garden there. He liked to sniff all the guards, giving his little bark to some before running onto the next. I love that little pup already and I know we're going to have so much fun.
….
I was looking at myself in the mirror, checking my dress was ok when I heard dads groan from downstairs. Hugo must have left a gift in the house, either that or he has chewed something he shouldn't.
I kissed my locket, putting it down the front of my dress, keeping it safely hidden away. Moving my wrist, I smiled as I heard the little bell on my charm bracelet, jingle too.
I was ready for my party and was especially looking forward to dancing with my best friend.
Turning away from the mirror, I looked to my shelf. It held photos, lots of them. It also held a few items that I have kept over the years. My mother's box that revealed a lot of secrets once I had shown my dad where they were. A few keepsakes also, one in particular, a stuffed pink rabbit that Mac had won for me at the fair when we had gone into Palermo one day.
Leaving my room, I took the rabbit down with me. I had been right, Hugo had started to chew on the side of the couch, his teeth like little needles at the moment.
"Hugo," I called out, his head quickly turning to me.
He didn't know his name yet. He was only acknowledging the voice of someone else who wasn't telling him to stop chewing the couch.
"Come here boy, what's this," I said, waving the rabbit in front of me before I threw it a few feet.
He left the couch behind, pouncing on the poor rabbit whose head was soon in his mouth. He settled down then, finding his basket which dad had placed into the laundry room and soon fell asleep.
"I forgot with all the excitement of bringing him to you what the woman had said about his love of sleeping with a toy. He was probably trying to take a chunk of the couch with him so he could settle down."
"Do you think Mac will mind me giving the rabbit to him."
"No, I doubt it. If he has a problem then he can buy us a new couch… Now let me look at you." I spun around, laughing as I turned, loving how my dress flared out at the bottom. Before I could get dizzy, I stopped in front of my dad. "You look beautiful princess."
"Thank you, dad," I said, wrapping my arms around his waist, enjoying the hug that only dads did best.
"Truly beautiful," he whispered, placing a kiss to my head.
….
FRANKIE POV
I don't think I had ever been a prouder man than I was walking into Beatrice and Antonio's with Ana on my arm.
I know she would like nothing more than for her mother to be here too. God, so would I. Only the knowledge that I get to keep my little girl forever gets me through every day and stops me from going back to that dark place, that longing for who would've been my wife.
Ana found the rings her mother and I had bought for each other a few years ago now, a ring although not blessed in the church as it should, I wear on days like this. I'm one half of a whole and this beautiful young woman, god, I hate saying that. Young woman. She's the glue that holds that whole together.
Ana did ask me once when she was younger if I would ever get married to someone else as her friend now has a stepmother as well as a mum. Maybe one day I will open my heart to someone but for now, there is no room in it for anyone apart from her.
Walking through the house, towards the rear where the party was being held in the garden, we were stopped by Christian who was waiting for Ana.
"You look gorgeous," he told her, making her blush as he gave her a small box.
Looking to me, I kissed her forehead for a moment before turning to Christian.
"Look after her," I told him, seeing his smile. I had nothing to worry about with Ana being with him, except her losing her heart.
I know how close they both are, I see it every time they're together, those little conversations that are just between those two.
As I walked out of the door and into the garden, I looked back, seeing Ana smiling before Christian wrapped her in his arms.
"It's inevitable," Antonio said to me, standing by my side. "If she's going to give her heart to someone, I would rather it be to him."
"She's a baby, my baby," I said, wanting to sob at the thought of her growing up enough to give even the slightest attention to a boy.
"And she always will be Frankie. That boy, soon to be a man, Christian would treat her like the Princess she is."
"I agree," Carrick said, joining us now in our father's meeting.
"How does he feel," I asked, not really wanting to know the answer to that question. She was fifteen yesterday, too young to think about anything we're discussing now.
"He loves her, there is no doubt of that. Whether that is romantic love yet, remains to be seen but know this, unlike his brothers, Christian doesn't go out partaking in the women of Seattle. If he's not working for or with me, he's speaking to that girl. Do I think they will be together, of course I do, but in the future not so much now. He's waiting until she's ready and then I will expect him to come knocking on your door."
I knew he was right and the fact that I already treat Christian like a son isn't lost on me. So when they came out to the applause of all who were in attendance, I sucked it up and smiled.
Ana said hello to all her friends, introducing some of those that had not met the Grey's. Family from Seattle she told them and one member of that family was permanently by her side.
Feeling someone grip my arm, I looked down seeing Beatrice there. I smiled to the only mother I had ever really known, losing my own such a long time ago.
"You have raised a beautiful girl Franklin. I know Carlotta started the journey, but seeing her out there, engaging with others, not hiding, afraid of her own shadow, that's all you. I suspect Christian had a little input as well but she knows who her daddy is, she's always known."
"I know," I said, feeling a lump in my throat. Kissing Beatrice's hand, I left her, heading over to my daughter.
"Miss Anastasia Carlotta Lambert, may I have this dance," I asked, seeing the beautiful smile appear on her face.
"Yes you may, Mr Daddy Lambert" she giggled, taking my hand.
I twirled Ana around the dance floor, even putting her on top of my feet as we danced like we did when she was a little girl.
I know there will come a day when Ana will fall in love, even leave home. I know on that day, although my heart might break a little as there will be someone just as important in her life, I will smile and be happy for her as that is what a father should do.
Maybe I don't need to prepare for that day though, maybe it's already here because as I watch Christian spin Ana around the room next, watch how he keeps her close at all times, and she him. I think I know just where my daughter's heart truly lies.
Thank you for reading.
Writing about this family again, made me realise how much I've missed them, especially Hugo.
I'm hoping to have the third and final chapter up by the weekend.
Until then, take care.
Caroline