I Want It That Way

Dean drove the Impala for what seemed like forever. We continued past sundown and rode most of the night. I had no idea where Dean was driving us to now. I had not asked because he was signing every last song on his playlist. He sang songs I had heard the last time I was on Earth. That was during the time of war and peace was being promoted in vibrant colors. He sang every song as loud as he possibly could. Sam sat in the passenger seat next to him reading a book on vampires. How he read a book in a moving vehicle and with Dean singing was beyond me.

I felt my heart flutter like soft gentle wings. It was taking off for some odd reason. I looked around me to see the darkness of the night surrounding the car like a warm blanket. There was something about this feeling that I enjoyed greatly. It was like a fire that grew within me. I saw that Sam was staring at me in the side window, but I paid it no attention as a blush rushed across my face. What was this feeling? It was whenever Sam looked at me that I gained this feeling. It was the feeling of love, but I had never loved before. Sure I loved my father and his creation but this was beyond different. This was lust or desire that were both sins. Angels were not allowed to have human relationships. Even if I was human for the time being it was not allowed. The creation of a Nephilim spawn was wrong. Yet, I loved this feeling of love. Love, did God create this or was it given by the forbidden fruit? Maybe love was my father's creation. Which meant that lust was the making of my brother and the fruit.

Could Sam love me? An angel that fell from heaven? An angel's who mission was to pull him out of the darkness no matter the cost? Would he care that we could not be together? That a relationship between him and I was heavily frowned upon by Heaven and my father? I wanted to ask him if he thought of me differently. Sam most likely was being a protective brother figure. I was just being silly, but my heart said I wanted him.

Sam was different from most human beings—not counting the demon blood—in the way he was structured. He had long spindly like legs that seemed to go on forever. His hands were twice the size of mine, and his fingers were long like his legs. His body was well maintained with the number of muscles he had. Sam's hair was long and gorgeous, but he had to spend hours working on it. No one's hair is ever that perfect. The length on him matches him well, and I could never picture him with short brown hair like Dean's.

"Here we are," Dean broke the silence.

I looked out the window to see a little motel sitting in front of us. It was terribly titled Sunny Motel, but there was no sun here. I do not understand how they could lie about there being sunshine here. I slowly climbed out of the car and grabbed my bag. I shut the door behind me as I looked around at the mess of a motel this was. How could they live like this? At least the motel I slept at had a nice appearance.

Sam looked down at me as I looked up at him. I stared into his eyes which lead to that feeling that I enjoyed. The feeling of love which is one I now wished I could resent. I could not, however, turn this feeling away. This was the feeling that lit my soul on fire. Which was a pleasant warm fire feeling that was now addictive. Sam must be a drug like cocaine or heroin.

"You tired out yet, Phoebe?"

I shook my head, "I almost never sleep nowadays."

Sam rose a brow, "Is that so?"

I nodded, "I just can not sleep. It is like sleep salmonella."

"You mean insomnia?"

"Yeah, sleep salmonella."

Sam laughed, "Salmonella is a type of food poisoning. Insomnia is when you can not sleep."

I looked down in shame as I kicked my heels together. Sam placed a hand on my shoulder to comfort me. I place my head against him to find more comfort. There was no comfort there this time, but instead, there was a change I could not quite feel. I shook it off as he wrapped his arm slowly around my shoulder. Sam was changing, and it was not for the good this time. I looked over to see Dean waving at us with a key in his hand. We exchanged looks before Sam and I walked towards Dean.

The door was opened by Dean by the time we got to it. Inside was two queen beds, a mini kitchen, bathroom, and a tiny box TV. I looked around to see that there was a yellow haze in the room. The thick stench of alcohol and smoke seized my lungs as I coughed.

"Well," Dean looked around, "get ready for bed everyone."

"Phoebe do you have clothes to change into?"

"No," I looked down.

"Here, I'll give you my shirt," Sam stated.

I looked away as he lifted his black shirt over his head. I blushed violently as I heard Dean laugh. I looked down at the heavily stained carpet in shame.

"Sam, are you kidding me? That shirt will be a dress on her!"

"Phoebe are you alright," Sam asked ignoring Dean's comment.

I shook my head that I was not alright. He placed a hand on my shoulder, and I tensed up in fear.

"What is wrong?"

"Never seen anyone with no clothes on."

"I can put a shirt back on, but it is fine Phoebe."

"But modesty."

Dean laughed, "There is nothing modest about him. I am going to hit the shower while you two sort it out."

Dean left the room into the mini bathroom. The door shut tightly behind him, and I was left in the room with a half-naked Sam. I still faced towards the kitchen and the bathroom door instead of Sam and the door to leave.

"Phoebe?"

"Hmm?"

"You can look."

I slowly turned around with my eyes cast on the floor. Sam cleared his throat making me look up at him. Sure enough, I took a look at his chest. It was chiseled like the statue of David. It was perfect in every way possible. I could not help but stare at him. My hand slowly found a way to his chest where I barely touched it. Sam gasped as my cold hand touched his hot skin. His heartbeat could be heard through his skin.

Sam cleared his throat, "Phoebe?"

"Yeah?"

He cleared it once more, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

I walked away slowly from him towards the bed. I got into it, and did not move. This was a moment I prayed that I could just fall asleep. Just to drift off else where so I did not have to be here.

"Something is on your mind. Can you tell me what it is?"

I shook my head at him as I once more. I moved so I had my nose dug into my pillow.

"I... um... it is not appropriate at all."

"Tell me," Sam asked. "Please?"

My head spun, "I... I have this feeling that I have no idea what it is."

"What feeling?"

"My heart is doing something not normal."

Sam smiled at me as he placed a hand on my cheek. His hand slowly lifted my face to look up at his. I still did not look him in the eyes. I could not find the courage in me to do that.

"I can sleep in the other bed if you are more comfortable with that. You'll have to sleep with Dean if I do."

I curled into a tighter back on the bed in hopes that sleep out take hold of me. That sleep would take me anywhere but here in this little motel room. Away from Sam and his God-like structure. I motioned for him to come onto the bed. The matrwss dipped as he climbed into it next to me. I wrapped an arm from underneath me. His other arm was draped over me.

"Goodnight," I whispered.

Sam chuckled, "Goodnight."

I did a trick that Castiel taught me. I may not be a full angel yet, but I had enough grace to do certain things. Such as the angel's voices that constantly running amuck in my head. I moved my hand to his hand. I pressed into it tightly. I focused my mind to create a dream for him. This had to work.

Author's Note

Dear Readers,

Most titles in this story will be songs. Mainly because music thrives almost everywhere on Earth. Especially in Dean Winchester's life. So I will be using a lot of rock songs. However, in this case, I used a Back Street Boys song. Have a great day where ever you are in this great big world.

-LittleLover11