Meet Me on the Inside
Chapter Three: Shapeless Nightmares That Dream of Lucid Plans
For once her voice is heard, and it happens again.
Good, because she wants it purely to spite Hook, and not because she loved it, craved it, needed Emma under her, touching and tasting with wild abandon.
It happens when she goes to bed at eight pm, feeling drained by the day's events. She needs an early night, needs to forget the mess her life has once again become.
She wakes up on a couch, arm slung around Emma's shoulders. She knows without looking down that she's Hook, because she can smell the stench of his cologne. How Emma can bare to be around it, she will always wonder.
The two of them are watching a movie, some horror flick. Regina turns her head to the side and is startled to see that Emma is already looking at her. She looks apologetic, brow furrowed up. "I'm sorry, Killian. For what happened. Really. But I truly didn't know. You need to stop accusing me of such things. You need to stop feeling pissed off. It...it was magic."
Regina doesn't know what to say, because even though she knows they were talking about such things before she invaded Hook's body for a second time, she has no clue what the line of conversation was. She settles on not saying anything.
This worries Emma who leans in and kisses him softly on the cheek. Regina jerks her head to the side in question but only gets a mouthful of Emma's soft pliant lips. She can't keep her eyes from slipping closed as Emma kisses her hard. "I love you, okay?"
Even though the words aren't directed at her, it makes Regina's heart swell and she lets her tongue snake out, lets it entwine with Emma's. Hands begin to wander to Regina's front before they grasp leather and push back. Emma blinks rapidly at Hook as if looking at him in a new light. "Regina?" she asks, confused.
Regina pauses, unsure what to say to this either. Did she confess to it? Or ignore it? Her silence speaks for itself because Emma sighs and pushes up from the couch, raking a hand through her hair. "I knew it was you, this time. You...kiss differently than Hook." She swallows, sighs. "Do you think this is a dream again?"
Regina decides to go with honesty this time. "No. I am still a bit disoriented," because body switching will always never not be unpleasant, "But I was hoping to end up like this again if only to piss Hook off."
Emma's face sours. "Really? You're behaving immaturely."
"He pissed me off," Regina grits behind her teeth.
"So this is how you get him back? By trying to use me?" Hurt flashes in Emma's eyes. She hates when others use her; she won't allow it. Regina realizes her mistake seconds later.
"Not like that." But it's too late for her weak explanations.
The pounding on Emma's door is unmistakable. She goes to answer it, and Regina must say it's a certainly interesting experience seeing herself there from someone else's eyes. She certainly looks attractive even with Hook occupying her body and making her form unladylike. Hook is wearing Regina's body and he looks distinctly uncomfortable in it. His legs are stationed far apart and his arms are crossed over her silk pajama top. "Hook?" Emma questions.
"Who else, love," Hook grunts out and Regina cringes. It sounds so...odd to have his words flavoring her tongue. "It seems I'm currently renting out her majesty's body."
"And you better not get a scratch on it," Regina gets up. "I've taken good care of my body and just because you treat your's like a garbage dump doesn't mean I want mine treated the same."
Hook snorts derisively and it's doubly offensive to Regina because how dare he use her own body and the art of being condescending she has perfected in it, against her. "Give me my body back and there should be no issue."
"I don't know how to give your body back; and trust me, I want to give it back as quickly as possible."
"Shouldn't you two have switched by now?" Emma asks, not able to tear her eyes off of Hook's womanly figure in those not at all concealing night wear.
"I'm not sure. Last time the body switch lasted longer before we were returned to our own bodies." And it had been more enjoyable. This one was looking to only be a hassle even if she had wanted it to spite Hook.
"Do you know how long Emma?" Hook asks, arching a brow and Emma flushes guiltily.
"Uh, no. I was kind of occupied." She squirms and looks away.
He 'hmmms' as this but says nothing more.
"I think it'd be safe to wait an hour or two. We should return to normal by then. Why don't you go and sleep?" Regina suggests in a rude tone meant to get him to leave.
"And leave you here with my girlfriend?" Hook snaps back.
"Your body does live here. Why stay here if you will end up in the right place as long as I sleep here? And besides, I want my body back to sleeping on Egyptian cotton bed, and not on the cheap wooden floor here."
"I think not. I won't allow you to get your hands on her, I won't leave you two alone. Last time that happened..."
"These are your hands you're talking of," Regina shoots him an amused smirk.
Emma raises her hands. "Please, no arguing. Regina and Hook, both of you stay."
"What?" erupts from both of their mouths.
"I think it's better if you both sleep over, so we can make sure no hanky panky occurs and so that we can discuss why this is occurring in the morning. Because it's happened again which means its deliberate and not some magical accident."
Emma's reasoning makes sense.
"I suppose I can sleep here, let my back be broken by your cheap couch. Hook can take your bed."
"Oh no, how generous, but I think I want you to sleep on the bed," Hook says deviously. Regina stares him down; they're both trying to do the same thing. Get whoever's body they're borrowing to have a sore back from awful sleeping conditions the next morning.
While lightening flashes from both their eyes due to the tension between them, Emma dutifully gathers some blankets and pillows from her spare closet and settles herself down on the couch. "I'll take the couch. The both of you can take the bed."
"WHAT?!" Hook and Regina shout out.
"You're sleeping on the floor," Regina insists after they stare the bed down like it's some instrument of pain before she lays down on the hard ground.
"Like hell I will!" Hook cries, grabbing Regina by the arm and attempting to haul her up. But Regina's heavier and stronger in this body. She pushes him away and he lands on his ass, hard. Regina regrets that and hopes her ass won't be sore tomorrow. "Your body is staying put on the ground and that's final!"
"Well, if you're going to sleep on the floor than so will I!" He resolutely lays down on the floor, arms stubbornly crossed over his chest.
"You will not do that in my body!"
"Too bad. Already doing it."
"Get up now, and park your ass on that bed!" Regina sat up and pointed at the bed with her hook.
"No."
"Do it, or I will make you!"
"I dare you too," Hook hisses and that is it. Regina gets up and begins to try to pull him up but he goes limp and heavy, making it harder for her to do anything. And she's too afraid to use her hook because she doesn't want to rip her expensive night wear, or stab her body accidentally.
"I swear, if you do not cooperate with me, I will chop your knob off."
That gets his attention. His eyes widen and he sits up so fast that he headbutts Regina's crotch by accident.
She lets out a gasp and drops hard to her knees. Holy fuck, did this hurt. Her hand goes to cup her hurt jewels. "Don't you dare cut them off! If you do that...I'll...I'll chop your tits off!"
"You already hurt your own nuts, you idiot," Regina grits out in a whisper.
"If two don't stop it in there, I will be forced to strap you to the bed!" Emma calls out through the closed door because she is tired of hearing their bickering.
"Then tell her to stop!" Hook childishly points at Regina who is breathing slowly to help with the sharp pain in her crotch.
"Tell him to stop first!"
"You're the one being insufferable. Just go to bed."
"I was trying to, on the floor, but you wouldn't fucking let me!"
"Because you need to sleep on the bed!"
"No, you do!"
"Oh my god!" Emma shouted out. "That's it, I'm coming in."
They scrambled up from the floor like two kids whose mother had caught them in illicit activities and was coming to give them the ass whopping of a century.
Ten minutes later, along with a severe scolding, the two of them found themselves staring up at the ceiling from the bed where they lay side by side, a foot of space between them. It wasn't enough space in Regina's opinion.
Hook and Regina were magically bound to the bed not able to move so much as an inch. If Regina was back in her body she could have used her magic to free herself. But Hook's in her body and the bloody pirate is useless when it comes to operating with magic.
He clearly makes a vain attempt but only succeeds in making Emma's bedroom turn into a jungle. Ferns sprout out of her floor, vines criss cross over the ceiling and some Tucan's fly past them, settling on the branches of the tree her nightstand has become.
"Brilliant," Regina praises.
"Oh stuff it," he growls out. He closes his eyes in an attempt to go to sleep and Regina sighs and decides to do the same because clearly nothing more can be done. She drifts off to the sound of birds chirping, and dreams of waking back up in her body.
Morning comes and she wakes up, blinking rapidly to clear her eyes. She's on the same side of the bed she went to sleep on and when she looks down she sees the same flat chest and leather bound body of the pirate. She lets her head hit the back of the pillows and stifles a groan. "Unbelievable." She's still stuck in Hook's body. This is slowly shaping up to be a nightmare.
On her left Hook lets out a frustrated scream. "For fucks sake man!"
"Good morning to you too," she says dryly as Emma storms into the room, the scream attracting her. She looks bleary from sleep and her hair is sticking up in angles. It's adorable. "What happened?" She thinks they were being attacked, given her amusingly sloppy attempt at a karate pose.
"Could you free us, Ms. Swan?" Regina asks, body stiff and pained from being held in one position all night long.
Emma's face drops. "So you guys still haven't turned back."
"No," Hook grits out. "Tell your witch to revert the spell!"
"I didn't cast it!" Regina hisses and glares at him.
"We're going to go to Gold, Hook. He'll know what to do." Emma says this in a calm tone, hoping to stop her boyfriend's anger spurt.
"Great. From the snake to the crocodile. Like we can trust him," he says bitterly, sitting up after Emma waves her hand and gets rid of the spell. He winces at the stiffness of his body. Regina sits up and stretches out her body, letting her neck crack pleasantly. She too is stiff but she won't be acting like a baby about it.
"It's the only option we have, unless you have any better ideas," Emma says, hands on hip as she glares Hook down.
Hook frowns. "Fine, Gold it is."
Argument done, Emma looks around her room for the first time and notices the fauna and flora there. "Wait, why is my bedroom a rain forest?" A bird lands on her shoulder and squawks in her ear.
"Ask Hook," Regina says as she breezes past to go to the bathroom to freshen up.
Emma looks at Hook who shrugs. "Wonky magic."
When they get to Gold, he merely arches a brow at them, trying hard to hide his smirk at their bickering as they walk in.
"Could you two stop? Even if just for a moment! My head is about to split here," Emma reprimanded, hands rubbing her temples. Honestly, they're worse than kids.
"You two used to argue like this all the time," Hook points out. "So why can't I argue like you did with her?"
Emma twists her lips up and this finally shuts up her complaints.
"Having a bad day, Sheriff? I can assure you, whatever you are going to accuse me off, I did not do." Gold preemptively says.
"So you didn't curse Hook and Regina into a body switch?"
"Hardly. Why would I?" He doesn't look startled by the information. Maybe such magic isn't anything new to him, but it certainly is to Emma and Hook.
"Because you hate me," Hook and Regina said at the same time, causing them to glare at each other.
"Let me speak," hissed Regina. "You're only going to ruin things by opening your mouth."
"It's your mouth you are insulting right now," he pointed out and she rolled her eyes so hard she thought she might lose them in the back of her head.
"Is that going to be your comeback each time I insult you?"
"It worked, didn't it?"
She thinned her lips and crossed her arms over her chest while Emma sighed next to them, rubbing her head again. Gold let out a chuckle. "I see. They truly have changed bodies. How did this occur?"
"Oh, don't act like you don't know!" Hook slapped his hands onto the counter. "You did this!"
"I didn't," he said seriously. "You can check my shop if you want, but you won't find any traces of magic like that here."
"Emma?" Regina looked on expectantly at the blonde who closed her eyes and did a brief reading on the magic currents in the air.
"He's telling...the truth," she admitted, opening her eyes. "Though it would be better if you could check, Regina. My magic abilities aren't as good as yours."
Regina shook her head. "Hook has my powers now and I'd rather he not do it. Knowing him, he'd blow us all up."
Hook shot her a nasty glare but said nothing. Probably because he knew it was very well true.
"So we'll have to trust you Emma, despite your unreliability."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Emma said sarcastically.
"This magic is something ancient," Gold commented, doing his own scan on them while they were occupied in arguing. "Something that predates me. I'm not certain what type of ancient magic, however. It would require further research."
"Great. Emma, what did you touch?" Regina sighed heavily. Ancient magic wasn't good. It was dangerous and unpredictable and most often than not twisted the user's wishes and wants into something dark and malignant, or it misinterpreted the wish entirely.
"I really didn't touch anything!" Emma threw her hands out. "Why do you assume I did something wrong!"
"Because you usually do."
"Really, Killian? You too?"
"Sorry, love," Hook frowned. "But you know you have the tendency to uh, mess things up because you don't know about fairy tale do's and don't's. So it's possible you touched something and didn't know it was magical and did this."
She squared her jaw, not looking happy at all. "I didn't touch anything, or do anything."
"Perhaps not the day of but the day before? Or somewhere in the week prior?" Regina suggested.
"No, I would remember if I touched something magical. The town's been quiet, so I had no need to use my powers or to fight some foes. I've been doing human stuff, mainly." Emma explained but she knew they didn't truly believe her. She supposed that was fine because they had to consider everything when it came to solving this mystery. She just wished they showed more confidence in her. She was the Savior after all.
"Okay, if it wasn't Emma who messed with some magic, then who did?" Regina turned to Gold.
"I need to know more than what you have given me. When did this first happen?"
"Two nights ago. When I went to sleep I woke up in Hook's body though I thought at first it was but a dream. That time we were able to switch back. And then when we both went to sleep again, we switched bodies once more, but this time we remained trapped in the wrong forms," Regina explained quickly and impatiently.
Gold rubbed his chin. "Hmm, very strange indeed. Why did you switch back the first night and not the second one?"
Regina and Emma exchanged looks. Did they tell him?
Hook didn't have any qualms like that. "They slept together that first night, thinking that Regina was me. The second night it didn't happen." Hook said this angrily, face tight and disgust in every inch of his body.
Gold let out a rich laugh. "Oh, this is just too much."
"Do you know how to fix this or not?" Emma was losing patience for the imp's laughter.
"It's obvious. You already know how to fix it."
Regina felt a cold chill go down her back. She knew.
"NO!" Hook roared, also drawing to the unsavory conclusion and beating his palms on the counter and glaring down Gold evilly. "You're lying!"
"Why would I? The evidence speaks for itself. The first night you slept together and returned to your correct bodies. The second night you didn't and remain trapped." He spread his hands out, that damning grin still on his face.
Emma looked on at Regina and the brunette felt like squirming uncomfortably, eyes not meeting hers.
Gold noticed the look."You don't have to sleep with Regina if you don't want to. Hook, your true love, is after all an option too. Either one will revert the spell."
Now Emma looked over at Hook, indecisiveness on her face. "Uh, I...I don't know. Wouldn't it be weird to sleep with Hook if he's in Regina's body?"
Regina tried to stop those words from making her chest ache. Why would Emma want to be with her? She was evil, she had hurt many people, and even ruined Emma's childhood. Just because Emma had looked past that and decided to be friends with Regina didn't mean it would lead to more. Regina had to stop hoping. But it was hard to, when she had spent such an incredible night with Emma, even if the conditions had been less than savory.
"Don't tell me you want to sleep with Regina again!" Hook whirled on Emma and smoke was curling up from his hands. His magic was getting out of control.
"That's also weird!" Emma defended, panicked. "Just calm down. Your magic is going haywire."
Hook looked down at his hands and let his fingers curl on each other, taking deep calming breaths. "We need to discuss this." He said through gritted teeth.
"Of course," Emma said softly, wrapping a reassuring arm around his bicep. They exchanged a loving look that had Regina look away. Just how many times had she desired Emma to look at her like that. And now when she did, it was only because somewhere underneath Regina's tan skin, lay Hook.
They left the store, but Regina lingered behind, needing some space from their barf educing love, and also because she had questions. "This is only a temporary solution, isn't it?"
"I can only make an educated guess, but since sleeping together didn't render the effects of the body switch incapable of happening again, then even if you sleep together a second time, it will keep happening."
"Then how can we stop it once and for all?"
"I think you know what happened. Remember, this is an ancient magic."
"That doesn't help me!" Regina spat out, irritated with his riddles. But what had she been expecting? This was Rumple after all.
"Look up and not down."
What did that even mean? Was he making fun of how she tended to look down on people? Did he want her to trust people more, to think better of them? "What does that even mean?"
"That's all I can tell you for free. If you want more, it will cost you."
Grimacing, Regina span on her heel. She knew better than to make another deal with him.
She had a temporary solution; but it was one that probably wouldn't be used. There was no way she could sleep with Emma again, and there was no way that Hook would allow her to do it. And it was a near guarantee that he wouldn't do it while in Regina's body either.
So technically, she was stuck in Hook's body until the conceivable future.
Great. Just what every girl dreamed of.