Summary: Rogue is reading Remy's journal while he's away and finds out a little too late t'at he still loves her. Or is it…?
Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own. Nor do I own PrankPlace dot com.
A/N: First off I would like to thank everyone for the highly appreciated reviews. And thanks for the ideas on how to torture Cody. Keep em coming! This chapter is dedicated to ness345, Remy'sRose and The Bud.
Warning: This chapter has some lemony stuff in it, be careful.
Written Desires
Chapter Three: Bu Comme une Moufette
(Drunk As A Skunk)
It's been t'ree days since I last wrote an entry in t'is journal. Remy's been kind of busy. So he got t'ree days of catchin up ta do.
T'is Cajun told you he had a plan to get rid of de lizard and he did.
Well…almost.
Anyway, aft'r t'at moment in time t'at Rogue and I shared in the suds, I began my planning. C'mon now, de fact t'at she said next time let's not be interrupted was more than enough to push moi ova de edge.
Wolverine even helped.
What bout t'ose extra danger room heures Remy had to do vous ask? I traded em in.
Oui, traded em in pour 12 heures of lizard extermination.
Mais, Rogue had to do her extra sessions. Per moi request, she and Wolverine went at it for six heures on Friday morning as I watched from de control room up above.
Ah, excuses-moi while Remy wipes de drool from his mouth.
Mon Dieu, ma chère was beautiful. Sweating like crazy. De way her chest heaved up and down…
Uh oh…brb…
Okay, I'm back. So let Remy give vous de t'ree day rundown.
- Day 1 -
It started Friday aft'rnoon when Wolve and I started my 12 heure 'training' session.
Of course t'at meant we were lounging around de garage and working on Scott's car.
To Remy's recollection, we either fixed or wrecked sumt'ing under de hood.
Hold on…
Oui, by de sounds of him crashing into t'at tree under Remy's window, we definitely wrecked sumt'ing.
Back to day one.
We were drunk and talking bout Remy's lizard problem. Vous won't be able to understand how drunk we actually were unless Remy writes out our conversation for you.
So here it goes:
"Ya know what? Ya know what? Vous que savez-il?"
"What?"
"Que?"
"What Gumbo?"
I look at him.
"What, what?"
"Huh?"
"What are we talking bout?"
"Lizards."
I nod my head.
"Ah oui, lizards. Lizards are slimy green bugs."
Wolverine shakes his head and takes another gulp of his beer.
"Lizards ain't bugs."
"T'en what are t'ey homme?"
"Fish."
"Fish. Remy like…like fish."
I start crying at t'is point.
"Mon Dieu…"
"What?"
"Remy's fish died when he was cinq. His name was Walter."
"T'at's too bad bub."
And just like t'at, I stopped crying.
"Let's go huntin' mon ami. Let's hunt lizards."
"Lizards?"
"Oui, lizards!"
And t'at's all it took to convince the drunken Canadian to join me in my hunting expedition. How we got into Cody's room and carried him out on his mattress was a wonder to Remy. All I know, is t'at we ended up carrying em down de stairs while he was still sleep on it. I bumped my elbow on the wall and yelped.
"Ssshhh! You gonna wake em up Gumbo!"
"He sleep wheely hard. He not gonna wake…"
Just t'en de lizard opened his eyes slowly and blinked at us.
"What's goin' on…?"
And like some femmes, we all screamed, dropping de bed in de process. De bon t'ing is t'at it made em pass out again. I leaned over em.
"Is it dead?"
"I dunno. Poke em."
"Vous poke em."
"Forget it. Just help me with t'is."
We picked up the bed and continued downstairs towards the pool area…
- Day 2 -
We both slept in late as the beer took its toll on us. I turned over in my bed as I heard a loud splash and ol' one eye yellin'.
"Who the hell ripped out my engine!"
It was way too early to wake up.
By de time I did wake up, Remy found out t'at 'Monsieur-Stick-Up-His-Ass' had taken a team out pour survival training. And oui, t'at team included Jean.
So guess what?
T'at left Storm in charge, which technically meant Wolverine was in charge, which kinda meant Remy was in charge.
Muhahaha
A full Saturday to torture de lizard and shack up wit Rogue.
Muhahaha
When I checked de mail, I had my next trick to pull on my nemesis.
De internet is a magnifique place. A week ago, a wanderin Cajun found an interesting object on a site called What I found was t'is tiny remote t'at could control any tv while concealed in de palm of your hand.
Muhahaha
Ah, can't vous regardez de mischief?
A few of us X-Men were watchin a football game in de den when Cody -ah de lizard- walked in and joined us.
Somehow, de real remote was placed next to em while Remy held de prank one.
Right when everyone got riled up fo a definite touchdown, I changed de channel.
Pissed erybodi de hell off.
Made erybodi glare at lizard boy…even Rogue.
Meanwhile, Remy was crackin up on de inside. It's hard to glare at someone while vous tryin' not to laugh.
De fish turned back to de game.
In de 3rd quarter, de team was goin fo anotha maja touchdown. De playa was at de 40…de 30…de 20…15…10…5…
CLICK!
I changed de channel again.
Pissed erybodi off again.
Lizard was blamed again.
To our amusement, Jubilee jumped to strangle de homme and I broke out laughing. Rogue separated de deux and turned de game back on.
Ah oui. It was near de end of de 4th quarter and de score was tied. If we made t'is last touchdown, we won. Erybodi had t'ere eyes glued to de screen. T'ere was only 10 seconds left and de playa was runnin…
An opposing playa was comin in fo de tackle…
T'ey were at de fo yard line…
He was makin it…
CLICK! De screen went blank.
Remy turned de tv off.
Wolverine extended his claws to kill de lizard, but ma chérie beat em to de punch.
Literally.
Just like she did me befo', she beat de shit outta de homme.
Hmmm…what else happened t'at day?
Oui, de otha 'incidents'.
Cajun made incidents.
Since de parents – one eye and mademoiselle perfect – were away from de mansion and so was de professeur, we had our own game of football…
In de 3rd floor hallway.
Where est Storm vous ask?
She was t'ere. She was de referee.
We played hommes vs. femmes, but de lizard chose not to joue. He sat in de windowsill instead.
Bad choice. Très mal.
Wolverine t'rew moi a long pass down de hall and Remy jumped up fo it…and so did Rogue.
While she was interceptin de ball, her back slammed into my chest, which caused moi to bump into my nemesis.
'Arrrggghhh! Remy touched de lizard! Disinfect! Disinfect!'
He went fallin 3 stories out de window and landed wit a thud.
Smiling since no one noticed de incident, I looked ova de ledge to see my work, but t'en frowned.
A rosebush had broken his fall.
Merde.
I shrugged it off and smirked. At least it was full of t'orns.
Muhahaha
We were runnin une play where Wolvie got us a touchdown to win de game. We were all cheering when out of one of my oddly colored eyes did I spy a raggedy looking lizard makin his way up de stairs.
I had to t'ink quick.
I t'rew de ball down at em and hit em right in de…
Well, vous know. He went fallin back down de steps.
Die nemesis, die!
Muhahaha
So we all hit de showas and I followed Rogue to hers.
Right when I was bout to walk in de do behind her, she turned around and took uh swing at moi.
De nerve of her!
I ducked of course.
Getting hit by Rogue not sumt'ing I wanna re-live.
She pulled moi into de bathroom and slammed moi against de do while fixin moi wit a hard glare.
Just when t'is Cajun t'ought he was in fo de beatin' of his lifetime, she kissed moi.
T'en pulled away quickly.
My breat'ing was labored and her eyes were glowing red from my kinetic energy. She looked at moi wit questioning eyes and I smirked.
She gasped when I started glowing red and I pulled her back into my arms. She struggled at first, relunctant to try again after she almost killed me, but she gave in. T'is time, t'ere was no powa drainin when we kissed.
Only rubbing bodies, roaming hands and dancing tongues.
She was all ova moi. Somehow, our clothes disappeared…
Hmm…maybe Remy got powas he don't know bout? Lemme try…
Nope.
Anyway, we were both naked and in de showa tagetha ba t'en.
I slipped a finger into her and used the same rhythm my expert tongue glided to and she moaned into my mouth. I added a second finger as she rolled her hips against me, making me want her even more. Mon Dieu she was bout to see de Ragin Cajun!
Suddenly, she broke de kiss and asked me to fuck her.
Excuse t'is Cajun's language, but t'ose were her exact words. So who was Remy to argue?
Oui, we did it. Remy took her right against de showa wall. It was de best feelin eva.
T'en she slapped moi and told moi to wake up. Dead on, hard as hell, on de jaw. She slapped moi like I stole sumt'ing.
C'est amuse, mais she sounded a lot like Wolvie t'en.
I opened my red eyes and stared into de faces of none otha t'en Wolverine et Storm.
I groaned out loud.
Apparently, I hadn't ducked and missed being slugged by Rogue. Moi laying on de flo in front of de bathrrom do proves t'at. Guess I did have to re-live being hit by Rogue.
I had been dreamin.
Merde.
And not to mention t'at while I was layin down, otha parts of de Cajun were standin tall.
Double merde.
It was time fo a cold showa.
- Day 3 -
Sunday started normal enough. Oui, while eryone did chores or got ready pour l'école de next day, me et Wolvie tossed back a couple cold ones while working on Scott's other car.
Mechanics is our favorite pastime. ;)
Since ruby visor man didn't get back until later t'at night, we decided to pull une plus prank on our lizard friend.
We convinced em to fly out wit us, saying t'at we had to pick sumt'ing up.
Mon Dieu, he gotta be de dumbest homme eva because like une foole, he agreed.
Since Wolverine et Remy were both teeterin' drunk, we flipped a coin to see who would fly de jet.
I won.
After getting rid of all the safety pamphlets t'at were in my way, we were off. T'ey were everywhere aussi. One was bout de dangas of flyin while drunk and Wolverine read it out loud, amusing us both to no end.
Scott writes de funniest t'ings.
We flew out to de Sahara Desert and gave de lizard a fake mission. Once he was out of sight, the two of us had a toast to em with our beer t'at we had oh so conveniently brought along and t'en took off.
Let's see em get back to New York now.
Muhahaha
It was dinnertime when we got back and oddly enough, no one asked us where we had been.
No one even seemed to notice t'at de lizard was missing…not even Rogue.
Très bon.
Oui, et t'at was yestaday.
- Le Muhahaha - Evil Sexy Cajun laugh
Uh oh, someone's at de do. Remy gonna end t'is entry ici, oui?
-RL