Summary: Rogue is reading Remy's journal while he's away and finds out a little too late that he still loves her. Or is it…?
Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews and please remember to keep the comments about what pranks to play on Cody coming. His torture isn't over yet!
Warning: There is a real time event that takes place in this chapter. Remember, Rogue is currently reading Remy's journal, but all the events that are happening are in the past.
Written Desires
Chapter Five: Plan B – D'accord
Ah, it's been a while, non? Remy's missed his adoring fans and he's sorry for putting t'is off so long.
Wow, how conceited is t'is Cajun? I wrote t'at last entry t'is morning.
I also noticed sumt'ing else. Seems t'is Cajun been writin in jacked up English. Oh well. It's not as if anyone is reading t'is. He can write how he wanna write and no one would care.
Oh wait.
Sumone is reading moi journal…
---
Rogue gasps and drops the journal, scared that somehow, Remy had found out she was reading it. Taking a few steadying breaths, she waits for the Cajun to bust her big time.
When nothing happens for five minutes, she picks the journal back up and continues to read.
---
Oui, t'at's right, Remy got an audience.
Wolverine.
T'at damn adamantium maniac has been reading moi journal like it's de lastest porn issue out. Mon Dieu!
I knew I was un bon writer, but merde…
Oh well, it's not like Remy gonna stop de idiot. Not like leaving uh charged card near em would really hurt de homme. It'll just cost moi mo time in de Danga Room wit One Eye. So here goes. It's time I recounted my time with Rogue while the lizard is gone. Ooh, we had us sum real fun too.
So in my last entry, I had to end it early cause someone was at de do. Let's pick up t'ere, shall we?
I got up to open de do, and to t'is Cajun's surprise, it was Rogue. She was in a tee and some jeans, which may Remy add, fit ma cherie form perfectly. On her shirt was an interesting message.
It had a picture of a male figure, vous know, like de ones from de bathroom do, jumping through the air with the words, 'I DO MY OWN STUNTS' underneath it.
And as I stood t'ere grinning like an idiot, she took moi staring at her chest de wrong way.
And socked moi in my stomach.
So while I stood t'ere bent over in de doway, gasping fo air, she ranted on about how Remy was such uh perv.
De nerve of her!
I try to expand moi horizons by reading a simple shirt and get accused of bein uh pervert! Ce n'est pas Remy's fault t'at what he was reading just happened to be stretched across de femme's chest.
Once she calmed down and I took a quick bathroom break, she told moi what she wanted. Chère wanted moi to go to de APL wit her.
D'accord, at first I was bout to say non, hell non, but t'en I t'ought bout it. Even if it meant I had to endure smelly cheins, scratching chats et humping rabbits…
LMAO, humpin rabbits… o -t'at's a rabbit if vous wonderin.
Anyway, so Remy agreed to go wit her and in no time, we were walking through de dos of de Animal Protective League.
While ma cherie looked around, I busied myself with watching her bend over to look into the cages. She so round t'at it gotta be a crime.
Okay so maybe not ici, but somewhere like on uh nut'er planet, Remy know t'at it gotta be a crime ta look t'at damn good.
-------drool , -------
Ahem.
And t'at's when I saw him. T'at bastard.
Qui?
Une chat. Une chat was also checking out ma cherie's ass.
I mean, what de hell is t'at? Since when do chats check out human butts?
Oh but he was, and t'is is one ragin' Cajun t'at wasn't bout ta let it slide.
I did what any carin' boyfriend would do.
I walked ova t'ere and t'reatened t'at chats life.
He looked at me with t'ese beady lil eyes and actually smirked at moi!
T'at mut'afucka SMIRKED at moi!
Anger was in my viens by t'en. Remy grabbed t'at cage and shook de shit outta it. T'at chat went ta meowin and cryin til Rogue pulled moi away from it…but not befo t'at bastard scratched moi.
Remy gonna kill t'at chat! APL be damned!
Oui, so I was kicked outta t'ere and forced to wait outside for ma chère.
When she did come out, she had her cat.
Thankfully, not de one Remy had his altercation wit.
It was a big one, uh Orange Tiger to be exact. It had orange fluffy hair and a fluffy orange tail. Around his nose was blanc; so was the hair on his chest and his paws. T'at chat gotta have de laziest yellow eyes Remy eva seen. He was declawed in de front, but not de back.
Oh well, as long as he wasn't tryin ta game ma chère, he was d'accord.
She named em Beau.
D'accord, Remy can tell t'at's a pun on my name. All chère had to do is put de 'Le' on de front and he'd be uh LeBeau. Huh.
Ah, we got de chat home…
Hold it.
Did vous know t'at at de APL, de chats were buy une get une free?
Remy didn't.
So when he heard t'at at de front desk, he couldn't help but to laugh. My eyes were watering, and I was stomping my foot, dying of laughter. Who de hell puts chats on…a BOGO sell?! BOGO Buy One Get One
D'accord, d'accord, vous don't get it. Lemme wipe my tears. Guess vous had ta be t'ere.
So we got de chat home et she wouldn't let it out of her sight. Chère took it everywhere avec lui. Since we had aujourd'hui off, we spent it together playing simple games.
Nous jouons basketball. Big mistake.
Chère whipped t'is Cajun's ass.
Oh, pardon moi. Not whipped moi ass, as in, de score. Whipped moi ass, as in, physically.
When I went up for uh easy lay-up, de ball was knocked from my hand and across de court. Okay, no problem. I grabbed de ball again and dribbled towards ma cherie.
Anot'er big mistake.
T'at femme's elbow came in neat contact avec moi jaw…hard. Extremely hard.
Shrug it off Remy.
She stood t'ere wit uh smirk as I rubbed my sore jaw. Damn her.
Before I could get ready, she rushed moi and she elbowed moi in my stomach.
Pourquoi pas retaliate vous ask? Cause Remy suddenly had to pee.
Aft'r t'at, we switched to sumt'ing mo simple. Like Frisbee. No harm in t'at, right?
WRONG!
Sumtimes I t'ink ma cherie forgets how much strength she has, cause when she chucked t'at t'ing at moi, my life flashed in front of my eyes.
Remy saw all de times he went out wit de T'ieves Guild, his marriage to Bella, de Bayou, t'at damn perverted chat, Rogue…
T'en his world went black.
When I woke up, Hank was standing ova moi in de medical lab.
Remy must've invented some new cuss words, cause he was mad. Mad like…de Hulk mad. Remy almost ripped off his clothes to prove a point…mais…non.
Save t'at for de bedroom.
It was time pour payback.
I found Rogue in her room reading a book while lying on her bed with Beau. Grinning like uh mad man, I ran outside and grabbed de Frisbee. Aiming pour lui chambre, I charged it and sent it flying.
It went right t'rough her window.
Seconds later, she screamed as it exploded…probably on her bed.
Muhahahaha….hahahah --scheming Cajun laugh
De chat was a witness to all t'is.
----2nd Half of the day----
Remy's no fool. I knew Rogue would be lookin pour moi aft'r t'at lil 'stunt' he pulled.
Ha ha, I made une amusée.
'Stunt'.
Ma cherie does all her own stunts.
So when someone knocked on de do, I pretended to be gone. Hopefully, t'ey would leave.
Nope, non such luck. It was Wolverine. He MADE moi let him in.
Tossing moi uh cold one, he said t'at since de lizard was gone and we didn't have to get back to training til Wednesday, we should take un petit journée.
D'accord, no problème.
Atlantic City was de decision and Remy was mo t'en happy ta go. Besides, gambling was Gambit's specialty, non? I was expecting some big winnings.
What t'is Cajun wasn't expecting was for an angry Rogue to come busting down his do and pinning him ta de bed.
One of her hands were holding mine above moi head et de ot'er was balled up in a fist. Ma Chere was MAD...
Gulp
Ou est Wolverine vous ask?
Oh he was t'ere. T'at lazy bastard was sitting in a chair, drinking his beer while flipping t'rough a magazine, like nut'ing was wrong. Oh mais t'en he put his deux cents in.
Wit'out much enthusiam, he pleaded on Remy's behalf.
"Stop. Don't hurt him. No."
Turns the page in his magazine and takes a sip of beer.
"He didn't mean it. No Rogue, no. Please."
I glared at him and shook my head. Damn, I neva wanted ta kill nobody so bad in my life t'en Wolvie at t'at moment.
Merci beaucoup pour de support!
BASTARD!!!!
So as I waited pour moi life ta end, I t'ought about moi funeral. Give t'is Cajun a New Orleans funeral...
Vous know, where de people dance down de street to confuse de evil spirits...
Ooh, et t'at adamantium JERK betta dance pour moi service aussi, or he WILL be living in uh haunted house tonight!
Mais, moi demise neva came.
Stormy came to Remy's rescue just in time, pulling de angry femme off moi and out de room.
De moments aft'r t'at were uneventful; I swore my revenge on Wolverine, he shruged moi off...
Let's get to de best part.
In Atlantic City, I found t'ree t'ings out:
1) Rogue is a chronic gambler...even when she loses. She lost ALL her money wit'in de first hour, but she was still at it. How, when she didn't have anymore money vous ask?
Ah, easy.
Chere took moi in de corner, flashed moi her goodies and she was back in de game.
Oui, Gambit's uh sucka fo breasts...which is prolly tres mal...
Oh well, what's done est done, non?
2) Rogue is a terrible singer. We had dinner at a resturant wit uh live show and she started to sing along and...
Well let's just say t'at she cleared de house. Mon Dieu, ta be such uh Southern Belle, she got de song voice of uh Mack trucker on speed.
I swear I t'ought it was sumbodi else at first, mais...it was Rogue.
Yeeesh. shudders at the memory
We promptly shut her up.
3) Rogue is an EXTREME LIGHTWEIGHT when it comes to alcohol. She had one 'Sex On The Beach' and was drunk off her ass.
She was all ova moi et I couldn't stop lui.
Wow, it was like...
Muhahahaha...yeah baby, yeah -- Cajun bout to get him some laugh
T'is Cajun could barely get her back to de room cause she wamted moi so bad. In de elevator, de hall...MAN! Talk about in dire need!
Remy had to make sure he kept himself slightly charged or else she'd kill moi.
As soon as we were inside, she pushed moi on de bed and crawled on top of moi.
I almost lost moi damn mind when I felt her lips traveling down moi chest to de top of moi pants.
Oh, she was so close!
I was so ready for her!
It only took moi uh hot second to close moi eyes et lose her. She had stopped.
What de hell?
Imagine moi suprise when I looked down and found her sleep on my stomach...drooling.
I wanted to scream; I wanted to cry.
So close!
Remy was so...hard pour lui! AARRGH!
It was cold shower time, so I pushed her off me and she fell to the floor.
Mais she didn't wake up.
T'en I t'ought twice about it.
If Rogue woke up and found moi in de bed et her on de flo, t'ere'd be hell ta pay. Besides, I could neva treat Chere like t'at.
Despite how many times she beats moi up, j'adore lui.
When I woke up on Tuesday morning, she was snuggled up to moi in de bed; her head resting on moi chest. My long sleeved tee, shielded our skin from contact, so pour l'heure, everyt'ing was fine.
Et t'en I realized t'at yestaday didn't even matt'r no mo. As long as t'is Cajun got ta hold his gambling, non-singing, lightweight alcoholic cherie, everyt'ing was right in de world.
T'ere was no way t'at Cody was coming back to come between us t'is time. T'ere ain't no payphones in the middle of nowhere. T'ere may be a few outlaw raiders out t'ere but t'ey usually de really friendly type, oui? Who knows how long it'll be befo anyone found a body?
Le Ha, Le Ha, Le hahahahahaha!!! --Remy(aka de sexiest man alive) killed off Cody laugh
--------
Well journal, t'is Cajun gonna take a break pour aujourd'hui, non? De mansion doorbell is ringing.
RL