Meet Me on the Inside
Chapter Eight: Hiding From Problems Only Creates More
It's Hook, who has finally gotten fed up of waiting for them. He storms in and Zelena follows after him, unable to use her magic to stop him because she's promised not to use magic to harm others and the only way to stop him from entering would have been to kill him. She's sure even if he was unconscious his body would still find a way to drag itself in.
Emma was up in a moment pleading, "Please Hook, wait, it was an accident!" She was wrapped up in a blanket, trying to cover her naked state but it was already apparent what had happened here.
"You slept with her again!?" he roared out, visibly purpling with anger.
Regina was not as distressed. She had been waiting for this moment- waiting to get her hands on him for what he did to her.
"Ah, there you are. I've been meaning to do this for a while," and then with a lazy flick of her wrist she sent him crashing into the stone wall where he hit his head hard and knocked out.
Finally. Peace and quiet.
"Regina! What the hell are you doing!?" Emma blustered in outrage, gathering the sheets up even closer to her chest while Regina waves a hand over herself and is sensibly dressed once more. Emma rushed over to Hook's side, making sure he was still breathing. She rolled him onto his back, checking his head for any open wounds. There were none.
"Giving him his due. That is the least he deserves for all the shit he did to me today!" she screamed out, her voice echoing around the Vault. She's mad because Hook ruined their moment, mad because he ruins everything between her and Emma.
Sensing this can go south very quickly, Zelena interjects. "I'm guessing you didn't get the semen?" she says dryly, hoping to detract them. It doesn't work. They just turn their ire on her.
"Shut up Zelena," Regina snarled out, feed up and just tired of everything. Ever since this stupid body switch first occurred things have changed between her and Emma and not for the best. She just wants things to be the way they once were. Is that so much to ask? True, she liked Emma and it hurt to see her with the pirate but now it would hurt even more because she had tasted Emma, had gotten to hold her, and now she would have to relinquish all this.
"You ruined everything Zelena. You tricked us!" Emma shouts at the witch from Oz, trying to shift the blame so she doesn't feel so damn guilty about what she just did. "I bet this was your plan the whole time. Trying to get us to sleep together."
That was Zelena's plan but she didn't like the way she was being accused of it, like she had attempted to kill puppies. That was Cruella's thing. Not hers. She wasn't nearly anywhere as evil. "Well, I didn't have to try hard, now did I. You did it all without much prompting," she says nastily and Emma flushes red because she's been caught.
"You still tricked us. You still let it happen. We were supposed to use the damned potion to reverse this mistake!"
Zelena is really getting fed up with the little savior and of how she's trying to be goody goody now when she committed adultery of her own will. It's not like Zelena put a magical hand gun to her head and made her do it. "I wanted you to finally open your eyes! What you are doing is hurting Regina!"
"Zelena..." Regina growls out in warning, because she has a hunch where her sister is going. But it's too late. The witch from Oz and Emma are in too deep.
"Hurting Regina? How am I hurting her? She's the one who just hurt Hook!" Emma extends a hand to the man on the ground as evidence.
"Zelena!" Regina warns again, not wanting to use magic on her sister. She strides over to her side, grabs her by the shoulder to shake her free from the hold of her conversation with Emma but it's too late.
"Regina's in love with you!" Zelena yowls out and everything grows quiet, too quiet. Regina's breath froze in her lungs, and her heart slowed to a painful crawl. Emma too, stilled, not even batting an eye as she looked on at Zelena. Even Zelena was silent, letting the words sink in, realizing she had said too much.
At long last Emma slowly turned to Regina, her hold so tight on her sheets that her knuckles matched their color. "I-is that true?" she croaked out and Regina poofed away in panic, unable to answer.
She spends all of next week hiding from Emma. Ignoring her phone calls and messages, working from home, and then leaving home to hide in her car when Emma drops by. Not even her Vault is a good hiding place because Emma stops by there to look for her as well. Plus, it's where they made love and Regina can't stand to see the bittersweet reminder.
Henry too is worried for Regina but she refuses to answer his calls even as it breaks her heart to do so. Because Emma can be using him to get to her and she can't risk that.
Avoiding Emma is a lot of work, and it tires Regina out. Thinking on how Emma might be disgusted that Regina loves her, also tires her out. But most tiring is her lack of sleep. She refuses to sleep because she might turn into Hook again and she will not chance him back in her body. He will destroy it, that is for certain. Luckily she was able to remove the tattoo, which is a small part of the damage he has wrought on her life. Getting back her relationship to be normal again with Emma is something much bigger she fears she can never repair.
So she sticks to small things, like brewing potions to keep her up, though they taste terrible and leave her looking like shit, and trying to get her money back from Snow.
"But I've already invested it. All of it," Snow says brightly when Regina calls her.
"How do you invest nearly a million dollars into birdhouses!" Regina's voice is shrill and out of control, but really, how could she be in control when Snow has wasted all her fucking money on bird houses!
"I made my own company," Snow continues on cheerily, ignorant of Regina's ire. "I'm going to build bird houses all over America, so no bird will be without a home. It will be splendid and grand. Oh, but don't worry, I named the company after you too. I called it Snow and Regina's Birdtopia."
Regina hangs up there so she won't be tempted to kill Snow anymore than she already is. "I knew I should have killed her back in the Enchanted Forest," she rubs her temples. "And I should have killed Hook too once his usefulness in finding Henry passed." She is officially bankrupt now, and the empty coffers of her family name match the emptiness she feels in her heart.
Regina decides to hunt down Zelena as a form of stress relief but the witch has wisely disappeared to spare herself from Regina's murderous punishments. If only Zelena hadn't spilled the truth than maybe things would have been salvageable with Emma. But not anymore.
Regina wishes and wishes that things hadn't turned out this way, but what good is a wish no one can hear?
At the end of the week, Emma finally catches up with her, just as Regina is heading out of her mansion door to the cementary where she feels right at home to mope; feeling as dead as the resident there are. Before Regina can scramble back indoors or poof away, Emma's words stall her.
"Hook and I broke up." Her words are muffled by a stuffy nose like she's been crying for hours, and her eyes skirt around Regina's face, ashamed to look at her. Regina pauses, the words chaining her, making her want to find out more. Emma is quiet before she sighs softly and admits painfully with a wry grin, "well, he broke up with me. And I deserve that."
This is what Regina was wishing for, what she had wanted to happen for so long. But now that it has, she feels guilty and dirty. Is it because of her Emma lost her chance at true love? Is Emma here to belittle her for it? Why is she telling her this? "I want to talk to you," Emma shoves her hands in her pockets to hide how shaky they are.
And here it comes- the speech, the one in which Emma is gonna tear Regina a new hole in her heart-
"Was what Zelena said true?"
Or no, maybe she's here to break Regina's already crumbling heart into pieces once more.
Regina can't stand to let herself be hurt like that again so she turns on her heel to dismiss Emma but the blonde reaches out for her, pulls her towards her and they are standing mere inches from each other, nose to nose. "Please, Regina, I need to know." Now emerald eyes search citrine eyes.
Dark thoughts form in Regina's mind, certain Emma is only here for one thing. "I won't be your rebound," she hisses, hurt and upset. And that statement is enough of a confirmation to Emma about Regina's feelings than Regina saying she is in love with Emma.
"I don't want a rebound." And Regina's throat closes up at that. Emma doesn't even want to try with her. She's just here to rub Regina's feelings into Regina's face. "I want to check if what I found out is true and only you can help me with that."
The air is tense between them and Regina doesn't know what Emma's asking at the same time she does. But she won't say anything. Let Emma say it, let her make the first move. "Can you help me? Will you?" she implores, eyes soft, hands even softer as they trail up to Regina's cheeks.
"Yes," Regina finds herself saying because her heart is foolish and weak and she wants this too much to say no. So Emma leans in, places a chaste kiss on Regina's lips and it's not enough. It's not enough to heal her broken heart. Just a reminder of what she can't have.
Emma pulls away, a smile on her lips. "I...I had to make sure. When we did all those things together, I wasn't sure if I was reacting that way to you because you were in Hook's body, or if it was because I was actually secretly in love with you. And it turns out..."
And, and?! Finish the fucking cliffhanger, Regina thinks, because it's better to get this over with now than prolong the suffering if Emma happens to say no, that it was Hook all along and now Regina had fucked everything up between Emma and Hook by making Emma sleep with her twice.
"It turns out I do love you. I've probably been in love with you for a while, but I was just too stupid to notice it all along. And now..." she shakes her head. "Now it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not going to pressure you any further." Emma's hands slip away from Regina's face and the blonde tries to keep the tears at bay. They prick at the back of her eyes, taunt her with how weak she is. She needs to go home and just cry this out, cry over the mess her life has become. Not only has she lost one important person to her, but she's about to lose another.
And it's all because she couldn't see what was in front of her the whole time. How could she have been so blind before? She wishes she could go back in time and change things but she can't.
"Goodbye Regina," Emma says in finality and Regina's heart is thumping in her chest and no- no Emma does not get to say all that, doesn't get to convey her fucking love and true feelings for Regina only to walk away!
Regina's heeled feet carry her furiously over to Emma, spinning the woman around by her red leather jacket covered shoulder. Emma's got a tear leaking from the corner of her eye and Regina wipes at it roughly with her thumb, eyes dark. "You don't get to tell me all that and walk away. I deserve better than that."
"You do," Emma says morosely. "That's why I'm walking away. I treated you so horribly. I hurt you with how I acted around you, with how I dragged you around on a chain and-"
Regina shuts her up by kissing her. It's not the chaste soft kiss Emma gave her. It's hot, sloppy, and full of anger and need. Emma stumbles under the force of it, Regina's hands locking onto her forearms in a vice like grip. They kiss until they're breathless, until their cheeks are flushed. "You don't get to decide for me," Regina says, voice breathless, pulling away a small distance. "Too long people have decided who I should love and what my life should look like. No more. If I want you Swan, you bet I will not let you take that away from me. Too many already have." She thinks of Leopold, of Robin with his pixie dust bond. No choice there. But she wants choice now.
And with no Snow to coddle her daughter from the Evil Queen, with no Hook to poison their bonds with his aggressive heteronormativity, she won't let them get in the way of her having Emma.
"I just...I just," Emma laughs, cutting herself off. "I wish you told me earlier. If you had maybe I would have realized earlier that I didn't want Hook. That I wanted you. When the body switches occurred I couldn't decide who I wanted to sleep with. The first time with you was an accident but it felt so right. It felt better than anything had in a long time. And so did the second time. It became apparent to me slowly that even with you in Hook's body, I wanted you for you. Just for your personality. Even though your body was right there...it wasn't you you, and it just wasn't right."
"And now?" Regina's voice is a whisper. She wants to hear more of this, more of these sweet words. She deserves to, after all her suffering.
"Now, it's perfect. You're perfect." Emma stroked the back of her hand gently over Regina's cheek.
"I didn't want you to hate me Emma. Didn't want to tell you my true feelings and ruin what you had with the pirate," Regina admits openly because under the light of the evening sun it seems to be the perfect place for sharing. Not too bright to scare away the truth and not too dark to obscure it.
"It was probably ruined already, I just refused to notice it," Emma says ruefully and their faces gravitate once more into a kiss. This one isn't as intense as the last one; it's sweet and full of promise. "Stay the night?" Regina asks, because she's tired of running around and not sleeping and she wants to sleep safe in someone's arms in case she turns into Hook again tomorrow.
"Gladly," Emma smiles and presses a kiss to Regina's nose. "Let me make it up to you." She sweeps Regina's feet from under her as she lifts her up into her arms. This close, Regina can rest her head on Emma's chest, hear her pounding heart. Feel her warmth. Emma carries her all the way up to the bedroom, places her softly on the sheets. "I want to make love to you in your own skin. I want to show you it's truly you I love." Emma starts to strip and Regina is breathless with anticipation. She watches as a red jacket, shirt and jeans make it to the floor leaving Emma in only her pale flawless skin and her underwear. And then Emma gets down to her knees, spreads Regina's thighs apart. With one corner of her lips quirked up in a cocky look, she dives in and Regina lets out a loud gasp as she gathers the sheets under her hands and holds on. Emma's tongue is skilled, pulling moans and groans out of Regina like it's nothing. The mayor squirms on top, chest heaving, moisture dripping down her thighs. It's not long before her release hits and it hits Emma too, Regina cumming down Emma's chin, dripping onto her chest. Emma wipes it away before she rises and kisses Regina, hands deftly unbuttoning Regina's dress shirt. "Ready for round two?"
It's only the first orgasm of the night, Emma proving her prowess as a lover by making sure every inch of Regina's skin is appreciated without expecting anything in return. Regina's insides twist and boil and she spills over when Emma stokes her fires. "I love your eyes, love your nose," Emma whispers softly, tickling with her words and the light kisses accompanied with her murmurs of appreciation and devotion as she worships everything she names out in succession. "Love your fingers and your hands." And Regina lays there, soaks up the love with closed eyes and a chuckle vibrating in her throat that slowly becomes a moan when Emma makes way down past her belly button and right to her core already drenched with desire.
Emma proves her point, makes Regina feel so loved in her own skin that she feels foolish for ever thinking Emma was once in love with Hook. It effectively erases all the bad between them, builds Regina back into her confidence.
As thanks, Regina lets Emma ride her face, licking and sucking until Emma came not once but twice, exhaustion lining the blonde's features, pleasure making her ache with need for rest.
And when everything is over they collapse on top of Regina's sheets, spent and ready to sleep. Emma drags the covers over them, snuggles up to Regina who let's her spoon her. Regina isn't afraid to wake up as Hook tomorrow because she knows Emma will protect her.
And for the first time in a long time, Regina wakes up in her own body.