Summary: Rogue is reading Remy's journal while he's away and finds out a little too late that he still loves her. Or is it…?

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own.

A/N: I'm so sorry about the long wait. I'm so upset that I've been neglecting my stories for over a year. Never again. This chapter is dedicated to two of my favorite reviewers: Lucky's Girl and Martshi3.

Warning: Remy refers to Cody as 'Homosexual' or 'Gay' a lot from here out. I don't have anything against either, but remember, Remy hates Cody. With a passion. He's trying to get Rogue to change her mind about marrying him. So no disrespect intended.

Written Desires

Entry Seven: Plan Z – Je ne baise suis pas d'accord

Once again mon journal, de lizard is gone.

Où vous ask?

Oh…in jail. Oui! Remy got de dumb home arrested aujourd'hui!

---Buhahahahaha!-----Cajun got you arrested laugh

Mais, let's not skip ov'r de whole day, oui?

Anisi, from de beginning…

Coffee is d'essence of t'is Cajun's existence. Sugary filled French Vanilla flavored coffee.

Mmmm… drool o, --t'at's ma drool face!

Can't function witout it. Won't function witout it. If vous want t'is Cajun to save de world, vous bett'r get moi some coffee first. X_x

Even got a favorite mug t'at everyone knows not to touch. Well, apparently not everyone cause when I walked in de kitchen, it was in de hands of de lizard.

WTF?

Oh hell non.

Stalking over, I angrily snatched it away before burning de home wit a petit amount of kinetic energy. All de dumb homme could do was yelp in pain.

"Mine!"

T'is Cajun has to reassert his dominance. Picked t'at one up from de adamantium maniac.

Aft'r uh t'rough washing et sanitizing, I poured moi a cup of ma drug. T'at's when I realized de sugar was missing.

Je ne sais pas how it happened, mais all I know is t'at t'ere was a big boom and coffee all over one eye. Mon Dieu! He got to cussin et fussin while Stormy sat at de table calmly sippin tea.

"Who's coffee is this?!"

Has Remy ever mentioned t'at Stormy est ma homie? Seriously. Elle est uh ride or die femme. De weat'r goddess looked Scoot right into t'ose ruby quartz of his et said:

"Cody's."

Oooohhh! De lizard got ta stutt'ring et shaking, pointing de finger at moi. LMAO! C'est d'accord, Remy know where he not wanted. I quietly slipped out like de t'ief I am et sprinted ov'r to where Wolvie, Bobby et Piotor where working out. Removing ma shirt et splashing water on ma body, I join in.

"Just act like Remy been ici all along."

T'ey shrug et keep on, even when Scott comes storming outside.

"How can it have been Remy's coffee when he's obviously been out here working out all morning?! Explain that!"

"But it was his! He took the cup from me!"

"Stop it already Cody! You're on thin ice around here and I don't care that you're Rogue's fiancé! Next time you pull a stunt like that, you're going in the danger room against Gambit!"

Hmm…way to intrigue t'is Cajun. Cody et moi, in de Danger Room? Oh hell oui! Excuse de French mais…I'd fuck him up.

Le ha! Le ha ha! --danger room Cajun gonna kill you laugh

Aft'r I finally got de much needed coffee, I went up front to get de mail, mais Rogue already had it in her hand. Imagine t'is cajun's surprise to find ma chère standing frozen in de hall, hand over her mouth, eyes wide while staring at the lett'rs in her hand.

Curious, I walk ov'r and instantly chuckle. Seems de postcards I sent de lizard had finally arrived. A week ago, I fly all over de US to mail de idiote quatre postcards from different zipcodes.

Pourquoi?

Merde, pourquoi pas? Do I really need a reason when it concerns lui?

De postcards were fake, but of course, mais t'ey put t'oughts in ma Cherie head:

-Homosexuals Living In the Closet

.com

-Sheep Lovers International Ltd

-Viagra Users Anonymous

Needless to say t'at ma amusee was cut short when I had to stop to catch her when she fainted. Right into de arms of de homme she should be avec.

xxx

Oh my--guess what journal?

Somebody set moi et Wolvie up pour de woo! Apparently, somebody t'ought it be funny to put some fake bullet holes in Scott's windshield et blame us. Earned us dix heures of Danger Room sessions!

Oh fuck my life!

When I find out who did t'is, t'ey gonna pay!

Brb, somebody calling moi…

Well journal, scratch t'at last t'reat. We found out who de culprit be. Storm. Oui, elle said elle just felt like doing sumt'ing 'naughty'. Well Madame, de next time vous wanna get 'naughty', warn somebody!

Anisi, de lizard calls himself 'getting back' at moi. Ha. Nev'r t'at. Mais I must say t'at his petit 'prank' did work in t'is cajun's favor.

Apparently de homo t'ought it would upset moi to give moi uh quart'r wit de words 'Love To Be Bayou'. Now pourqoui would uh homme give anoth'r homme sumt'ing like t'at? See why I call him homo? He damn well bet not 'Love to be by moi'. I'd blow his ass ta bits.

De good part about t'is was that ma chérie came in de room at t'at instant et tried ta turn heel et flee when she saw us. Funny, she been avoiding de homo since she got de mail. El oh el smiley face.

Being moi, I'm always up pour uh bon chase, so I followed suit. Catching her in de hall, I stopped her.

"I want to give vous t'is."

Whoa, had to dodge a punch directed at ma stomach. De vile femme t'ought I meant, 'give lui t'is', as in sum nasty hot sex. Well oui, t'at aussi, mais non. Just de quart'r pour now.

Grabbing her hand, I place de object in it…non, not t'at object eit'r. Zut alors, gotta get ma mind out de gutt'r!

Needless to say, ma chère adored ca. Even hugged moi. Real tight et sexual like. ::wags eyesbrows::

Oui, elle wants moi.

xxx

Everyone knows t'at having fresh breat' can make or break vous in t'is world. Hence, ma strained relationship avec Wolvie. De lizard est no different. Before I headed to ma chambre for a much needed nap, t'is cajun pulled une plus prank. T'en I was out.

Guess anot'er prank worked in ma favor, since not even 5 minutes later lat'r, ma chère showed up at ma door begging pour entry.

Told vous elle wanted moi.

Turns out t'at elle was on de run from de lizards pour deux reasons:

1: Elle was still shocked ov'r de postcards

2: De homme had de worst breat' ever (courtesy moi of course)

Yeah, I did it, I snuck de homo garlic candy. *dies laughing evilly*

Anisi, ma chere ended up taking a delightfully seductive nap avec moi.

Well not so much seductive, mais it was in ma mind. In ma mind, we were being… 'naughty'. I did however, wake up avec ma hands on t'em big ol breasts.

Yup! -- in ma Trey Songz voice

Hold on, bat'room break…………..

Beau est drunk again. De chat est drinkin a beer t'at Wolverine brought in pour him. Oui, when I came back from ma potty break, bot t'em fools was ici. Oh well.

So where was I? Oh, I woke up avec ma hands on t'em big ol breasts et guess what elle did?

Nope, not hit moi or cuss. Elle blushed et giggled. Awl! It was très cute!

xxx

Hey t'at homme uh snitch! He told on moi! He fucking told on moi. Ta who? De Professor! Mais, de Professor est on ma side. Muhahahahahahahahahaha ! --go fuck off laugh

Aft'r a nice long Danger Room session, t'is cajun was drained. Gatorade sounded bon.

Regardée? I actually do work round ici.

Imagine ma shock ta walk in de kitchen et find Stormy, Wolvie et Rogue staring at de lizard like he lost it. Mais…he had uh container in his hand clearly marked 'Remy'.

D'accord, rewind uh bit. A few days ago, Hank took samples of our fluids pour testing, mais his lab cooler broke down. While he waited ta get it repaired, which it has been by now, he had ta store t'em in de bottom drawer of de kitchen fridge. Apparently, he forgot ta take mine back ta de lab.

Drawing any conclusions ici yet?

De lizard was drinking ma pee. Ewwwwwww!

"Pourqoui vous drinking ma urine homme?"

He had already finished it ba t'en, mais he had uh mout' full. Uh mout' full he spit all ov'r Scott as he walked in.

T'at's all it took ta send everybody into hysterics. Eeeewwwww!!!!

Needless ta say, I got ma session avec de lizard all set up. T'is Cajun can't wait!

*See above ta see how bad I will mess him up*

-------Insert drawing of drunk chat ici------

Journal…Liquid Ass est uh very dangerous t'ing. One spray est like being sprayed ba uh skunk. De lizard however, was doused in it. Oui, Liquid Ass.

Liquid Ass est u a highly concentrated smell that smells exactly like de name says. Liquid Ass.

Iceman was not amused. Even in his ice form, he couldn't block de smell, so it must've been hell pour Wolvie. Gave uh whole new definition ta de word TEAMWORK.

TEAMWORK (adj) Being able ta come toget'er et kill off a t'reat in vous home t'at smells of Liquid Ass wit'out interference.

Non…we didn't really kill de idiote, mais almost. *sexy smirk*

Ahh…what's de day wit'out playing uh prank on one eye aussi? Oui, we got em.

Scott plays de lotto like c'est going out of style. Anisi, we got em uh fake winning ticket et put it in his pile. Mon Dieu, de homme spends like 50 bucks uh day on t'em t'ings.

Loser.

De best part was seeing him run around shouting t'at he had won 10 million dollars.

Non, de best part was when he started to tell everyone off, tellin us all to kiss his big round ass and live our stupid poor lives. Even told Jean ta suck it. T'is poor Cajun started ta laugh so hard when he called de Professor uh mind readin freak.

Oh…poor, poor Scott. Damn shame what we did ta t'at fool.

Cyke's been gone since t'en et Jean been crying her eyes out. De femme tried ta get Wolverine ta console her, *hint hint* mais he just ignored lui. When elle tried again, Stormy electrocuted lui. Not hard, mais hard enough ta make moi almost choke laughing.

Ah, good times, good times.

De highlight of ce soir came bout an hour ago when we got uh call from de lizard in jail.

Jail? Oh my. Whatever could have happened?

Couldn't have anyt'ing ta do avec t'at counterfeit money I planted on de homme….vrai?

--------Insert diabolical laugh ici---------

PS: Je suis dorme avec ma Cherie ce soir.

-RL