Hi everyone, so sorry for the late update, I've been run into the ground for the last two weeks. as such, this chapter is a bit shorter than my previous sprees of long chapters, at a little less than 3000 words. It's a very jumpy chapter, basically just covering S06E14&15. I didn't write out all the scenes, as it's mostly canon since Anamika isn't involved and decided to focus more on the feelings these events would have invoked. As such, you get small snippets of Daryl and Rick moments.

Thanks for all the favorites and follows, as well as to JadeMoxie for reviewing!

Enjoy!

Chapter 27

The next hour was a blur for Daryl. He had never run so fast and as soon as he had burst into Denise's house, he found the doctor ready and waiting for him. He didn't even have the right frame of mind to be grateful someone had let her know to be ready, he just placed Anamika where Denise directed him to and collapsed against the wall, sliding down till he sat on the floor. He was aware that Rick was standing next to him and Carl right outside the room, but his focus was on the barely breathing form of Anamika as Denise and Rosita rushed around her, their voices urgent and their movements fast.

Time seemed to fly by as he sat there, the people around him rushing past in a blur as his mind remained blank with shock. All he could see was the red in front of his eyes, the blood that coated Anamika, the jagged edges of her flesh where she was cut. His breath shuddered out and he closed his eyes, as if that would make the images behind his eyes go away.

"Daryl." His eyes opened, Rick's face hovering in front of him. He grunted, his eyes flicking away towards the bed where Denise was still working on Anamika.

"Daryl, the meeting is about to start. I need you there brother, I need you to stand behind me. Especially with Anna… with Anna indisposed." Daryl wanted to rage, wanted to yell that he wasn't going to leave Anamika, but he was tired. So tired of watching the people he's supposed to be protecting get injured. He nodded sharply, standing up and following Rick out, determinedly not looking back. He had to keep his mind moving forward, or he would never be able to move at all, his mind stuck with the woman slowly dying behind him.

He followed his brother in all but blood out the door, ready for whatever they need to do.

WD

Rick walked off, following Michonne as the rest of his people scattered, all of them looking for walkers who bore even the faintest resemblance to Gregory. The woman he loved was on her guard, her katana held ready in her hands as she searched with her eyes and ears for any signs of walkers. He cleared his throat, seeing her turn slightly towards him.

"I'm worried about Daryl. He's too quiet."

"Daryl is always quiet."

"Not like this." Michonne nodded, acknowledging his words and worry. Rick thought about the look he had seen in the archer's eyes, first the panic as he had run into Alexandria cradling Anna's bloodied body and Rick had sworn that in that moment, his heart had stopped for a beat. Then the deadened shock as he sat in Anna's room, blind to the world around him, his eyes dazed and hollow. Finally, though the hollowness in his eyes still lingered, they also filled with a burning determination, the determination to protect his group from this Negan fellow.

Rick knew Daryl wasn't entirely letting himself feel the emotions that came from seeing Anna half dead. Just thinking about Michonne in that condition had Rick's breath stuttering and him reaching out to grab her hand, squeezing tightly. Michonne seemed to understand, as she held on and didn't let go, her eyes understanding.

"It'll be ok. Anna is stubborn, she'll make it through this. And Daryl is even more stubborn. We just need to focus on our mission, on what we can do something about." Rick nodded, turning his attention to the moaning walker who made its way out of the woods. His eyes narrowed and his mind sharpened.

He would not let this chance for the community slip by. Even if he had to kill every person in that satellite building, he would create a safe world for his people, no matter the cost.

WD

"Didn't even notice. You got your bike back." Daryl glanced up, seeing Carol walking over and he sat back on his haunches, watching as she took out a cigarette.

"Yeah. You got another one of those?"

Receiving the smoke, he muttered thanks as he lit it, the relief of nicotine making his shoulders relax.

"Those people you met in the burnt forest, they took it from you?" Daryl scowled, the thought of them filling his mind with rage, at how he had helped them only for them to spit in his face.

"Yeah," he muttered, trying not to think about that incident, as it still had his blood boiling.

"You saved them right?" Of course, Carol seemed determined to talk to him about it, but he just stayed quiet. He really didn't want to talk about them.

"Sorry. It's who you are. We're still stuck with that."

"Not me. I should have killed them." Daryl thought about how they screwed him over and he just became more convinced that people left on the outside wasn't worth saving. Especially not with Anamika laying in the infirmary, still on the edge of death, with no one sure if she would wake up or not. She sure didn't slash her own throat or stab herself in the side.

"Daryl, you can't hold what happened to Anna against anyone living outside. Jesus and his people were alright." Daryl grunted, looking away, somehow annoyed that his oldest friend could see exactly what was going on in his mind. "People can still be good. I mean, there has to be a point where we don't have to anymore right? Don't have to kill anymore?"

Daryl was quiet for a moment, seeing the almost pleading look on his friend's face, but Anamika's still body, hooked up to various machines and blood bags flashed through his mind.

"Naw, people always want what we have. We kill to protect the group and that's not going to change." Carol's expression had Daryl's heart tighten, worried for the anguish he could see on her face. She stood and walked away, leaving her smokes behind. Before she could get too far, Daryl spoke up, worry filling his mind.

"Hey… The ones who took you and Maggie...What did they do to you?"

"To us? They didn't do anything." He watched as she walked away, certain there was a lot more she wasn't saying, but not sure what she was hiding. He brought his cigarette up to his lips,, taking a pull, exhaling the smoke and taking comfort in the burn. Sighing, he stood up, wandering over to the infirmary and crushing his cigarette under his boot before he entered. Walking to the room Anamika was kept in, he slowed as he heard a voice and peeked around the door to see Carl sitting by Anamika's bed. The teen had Judith in his arms and was reading her a story, seeming not to mind the unconscious woman lying next to him. He pointed to pictures for Judith and praised her when she pointed out something.

Though Daryl didn't feel as if he could smile anymore, he did appreciate the care and devotion the teen was showing, coming to sit with an unresponsive Anamika every day, sometimes reading, sometimes talking and sometimes just sitting in silence, as if waiting for her to wake up. Sometimes, Daryl wished he could do that as well, but his eyes seemed to burn and his heart shriveled up when he saw her slack face, the bandage around her throat and the beeping of the machines hooked up to her.

He just wanted her to wake up, it had been days since she came back bloodied and half dead. Denise said that it had been close and that Anamika might have fallen into a coma due to her body going into shock, but Daryl just wanted her back, wanted those mischievous eyes to look at him and those lips to smile at him.

Leaving the teen to it, Daryl turned and walked away.

WD

"I asked you to come with me, because you're brave like my brother and sometimes you actually make me feel safe. You're hurting at the moment because of Anna and that's alright, but you can't let it defeat you." Daryl could feel the shame in his gut, as Denise chewed him out and moved on to Rosita, her voice filled with righteous anger as she scolded them like a couple of kids. He had come with because he wanted to get his mind off Anna's unchanged state, but Denise got right to the heart of the problem in her rant.

Denise was right, he was hurting and he didn't know how to handle it. He couldn't just move on, as Anamika was still there. She wasn't dead, she wasn't gone, she was still there right in front of him, but somehow she felt more unreachable than Merle did after he died, than Beth did after she was taken. This waiting, this hanging by a thread, uncertain what was going to happen was messing with his mind and his family saw that. Hell, even Denise saw it. Daryl knew he had never been good with emotions, but he had also never been in a situation like this before. Usually it's already over or he could fight towards a solution, but in this case, he could do neither.

His hands was tied and the only thing he could do was watch the woman he was pretty sure meant the world to him slowly slip through his fingers. It also made him angry, that she had gone out on her own and didn't take backup, that this happened to her because she was on her own and that he had no idea how it happened to her. It made rage flow through his veins and made him more impulsive.

The evidence was right here in front of him, a raging Denise, who never would have been here in usual circumstances, because he wouldn't have allowed someone with no experience outside to join him on a supply run usually. Somehow though, he just couldn't seem to care.

"-You're strong and you're smart and you're both really good people and if you don't wake...up...and face you..r.." Daryl's ears seemed to be ringing, his eyes widening in horror as Denise's body fell forward, her face frozen in seeming confusion as an arrow jutted out from her eye, blood dripping from the tip as her mouth moved silently. He jumped forward, his arms coming up slowly as if it's moving through molasses, catching her and lowering her body to the ground, her body limp and unresponsive.

The ringing continued as he swung his gun up, aimed at the people pouring out of the woods, but hate truly filled him when Dwight sauntered out, his old crossbow in his one hand and forcing Eugene to his knees with the other, watching him like a hyena as he smirked smugly, his expression twisted horrifically with a new burn that spanned half his face.

Well hell...You got something to say to me?"

WD

Daryl's mind was going in slow circles as he stared at the key ring, the name 'Dennis' seeming to mock him as much as Denise's body, covered by a white sheet, did. He remembered her saying how he reminded her of her brother, how he made her feel safe and he wanted to scoff. Safe, he was the furthest thing from safe. He was supposed to protect his family, yet Anamika lied in the infirmary, unconscious with no way of knowing when or even if she'll wake up. He was supposed to protect the community, yet on his watch, their only doctor got killed. A doctor both Anamika and the pregnant Maggie needed desperately.

Clenching his jaw, he pocketed the key ring and stuck the shovel into the pile of dirt, starting to fill up the grave, his mind a constant loop of blame, guilt and self-loathing.

His fault, his fault, he's useless…

The white sheet in the grave slowly became covered in dirt as he continued shoveling, his face grim.

Waste of space, weak…

He knew Carol was looking at him, her face so sad he couldn't bare to look at it and instead grabbed a small bottle of whiskey, downing it before he continued shoveling.

Can't even keep one person alive, useless…

The repetitive motion and sound of the shovel cleaving through the dirt was like a slap in his face, each motion reminding him that he was burying another member of his community, someone he had owed so much to, for saving Carl, for giving Anamika a fighting chance, for patching him up various times.

"You were right. I knew it when you said it."

Daryl didn't respond to Carol's quiet words, to the hopelessness that was present in her voice. Another person he had failed. He didn't want Carol to feel like this, to feel such a hopeless acceptance at what their life had become, but he couldn't respond to her, couldn't reassure her. His entire mind was focused on his task, trying to shy away from the accusing thoughts that niggled at him like cancer. He just continued shoveling, stuck in his own mind, as he buried the person who was Anamika's only hope.

Weak and useless man…

WD

Daryl sat besides Anamika's bed, holding her hand in his one. His skin was dirty, covered in sweat and grime and he was almost afraid to hold her pale, clean hand in his. But he needed her touch, needed her reassuring presence.

All he got was silence.

Her chest rose and fell gently, her face slack and he felt his eyes burn, even though no tears would make an appearance. It's been a few days now since she came back half-dead and he didn't know what to do anymore. Denise was dead, the saviors and Dwight was still out there and he felt lost, cast adrift in an ocean.

The longer he sat there, thinking about the events of yesterday, the more he felt anger rising up in him. It was an emotion he was well used to feeling, one that reared its ugly head each time he felt uncertain earlier in his life. The last year or so had done a lot to calm him down, the presence of his group, his family helping him stay focused.

But all that was falling apart now. With the saviors' attack on them by the railway, everyone now knew that there was more of them besides those they had killed at the Satellite building. Thinking back, they should have realized it, as the people who had taken Maggie and Carol captive had called for reinforcements, which was a sure sign they had more buildings, more people. However, the relief they felt at getting them back unharmed and the trauma he could see on the two women's' faces when they found them, had pushed any such revelations to the back of his head.

He leaned forward, gently brushing some of Anamika's hair out of her face, his thumb lingering on his cheekbone, softly rubbing the skin. A streak of dirt was left behind as he pulled away and his teeth clenched. That was all he did, mess everything up.

Useless

Standing, he bent over and brushed a whisper of a kiss against her brow, before straightening, his blue eyes taking in her still form.

Weak

An unholy fire started to build in his gaze as it swept her unconscious form one more time, before he turned and walked out of the room.

Failure

He had to make this right.

WD

"Tell Carl I'll be back soon. No one else leaves! Everyone stays ready for a fight."

Rick jogged to the car Morgan was in, his mind a flurry of thoughts that hammered at his patience. Carol had left in the night, leaving only a note behind as an explanation; Daryl had left that morning, on some sort of revenge mission, with Michonne, Glenn and Rosita going after him. Anna was still unconscious and they were dangerously understaffed at Alexandria, with most of the experienced fighters gone in the event that they should be attacked. He grit his teeth, a scowl on his face as Morgan drove out the gates.

He had known that Daryl wasn't well, had known it since he had come running into Alexandria with a bloodied and unconscious Anna in his arms. The man had only become worse with their raid on the Saviors and then Denise's death. He should have seen this coming, should have known that Daryl wouldn't sit back and do nothing, but he had thought that they had moved past most of the impulsive anger Daryl had held. Of course, that was before Anna was attacked and in a coma, causing Daryl to revert back to a previous self of him.

His brow furrowed and eyes narrowed, Rick determined that today was just not his day.

WD

In the Alexandria infirmary, abandoned except for one patient, startling blue eyes opened.

WD

Alright, there you guys go! As an apology for taking so long to post this chapter, I'm already slaving away at t he next and hope to get it up at the latest tomorrow, so you guys can have a quick update:) Things are picking up the pace from here;) Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter and what's coming!