Hey everyone! I finally got another chapter up! This one is a little longer than the last few, so editing and proofreading took me a lot longer than normal, or this could have been up weeks ago.
Anyways, thank you so much to those of you who have been so patient with the painfully slow updates of this story, your reviews mean the world to me!
Anyways, before you go on to the chapter I just want to mention that this chapter is pretty intense and has descriptions of cutting, panic attacks, and some references to suicide. I know all these warnings are in the tags but I do like to mention them so that no one is ever caught off guard. With that being said, please stay safe and be sure to take care of yourself. 3
Bucky sighed heavily as he collapsed against a brick wall outside a bar in Stuttgart, sulking to himself as the cold night air filled his lungs. They were two weeks into the mission and so far turned up with nothing. The chase was becoming stressful and taking a toll on everyone, Bucky especially. So while Steve and Nat worked on tracking Friedrich, he snuck out to grab a drink.
He reached for his phone for the hundredth time that day. He had been in contact with Ana as much as possible, checking in on her almost obsessively; asking if she was eating, sleeping, and making sure she wasn't straining her hand in any way. He hated being away from her when she was hurt, unable to help. The wedding was only a few days away, and she was probably a nervous wreck. He was hoping and praying they would track down their target by then, but in all honestly, it didn't look promising.
After Bucky had frozen out some of his stress, he took a chilly walk back to the small safehouse where he, Nat, and Steve had been staking out. He lumbered through the door and sank into the old, creaky couch.
"Find anything?" he asked.
"I think so." Natasha said, showing him a screen of surveillance footage. It was a grainy video of a dark street. A car pulled up in front of a run-down apartment building and a tall figure emerged, followed by two more compact, bulkier silhouettes.
"Can you be sure it's him?" Bucky asked.
"We've been following him on surveillance all day. It's him. Who else has a driver and bodyguards but chooses to live in the middle of an abandoned neighborhood in a house like that? There's definitely some kind of criminal activity going on."
Bucky knew she was right.
"So, we go get him now?" Bucky asked, a hint of eagerness to his voice.
"Not quite." Steve said, "Natasha, is there any way you can get more eyes on this location?"
"Why?" Bucky gawked, "Nat's sure it's him, and even if it isn't, whoever it is is probably up to no good."
"If Friedrich goes back to the commander, we'll be able to take them both out." Steve explained.
Bucky pursed his lips. Steve had a point, but that could mean extending their already indefinite mission.
"But how can we be sure he's going back to the commander?"
"We have to watch. Keep tabs, but maintain distance. We wait a bit longer, and then hopefully we'll kill two birds with one stone."
"But we've already been here so long," Bucky argued, "I'm sure if he was going to contact someone he would have done it by now."
"Look, Buck, I know you want to get back to Ana." Steve said, "But if we can hold out for a little longer, we can probably end this whole thing altogether, and Ana won't have to worry about Hydra ever again."
Natasha nodded in agreement. Bucky thought carefully, it could be the best or last chance to take out SHIELD's biggest threat, and there still was a fair chance he could get back before the wedding.
"Alright." Bucky said solemnly, "I'll wait."
Two days later, their patience paid off. Natasha intercepted a phone conversation between Friedrich and a mysterious menacing voice they could only assume was the commander.
Bucky, Nat, and Steve were now huddled around a tiny radio transmitting the call. They all held their breath in anticipation, hoping for any shred of evidence capable of bringing this case to a close.
"Good evening, Commander." said the first voice, which was apparently Friedrich's
"Good evening." crackled back the second speaker, "I see your holiday was relaxing."
"Indeed it was."
"I have a gift for you, something I got while you were away."
"Wonderful, I shall be happy to pick it up."
"Excellent. Let's have a drink then, maybe a game of cards?"
"Saturday. Same place as always?"
"Indeed."
Then the line went dead.
Bucky tugged on his hair. "That could be anywhere!"
"Actually… I think I know just the place." Natasha said, "There's this casino in town. Real fancy place, but the owner is on four watch lists, FBI and SHIELD included." She did some typing on the computer, "And it looks like one Friedrich Schwarz is a frequent customer." She grinned.
Steve smirked, leaning back in his chair. "So we're staying until Saturday." he concluded.
Bucky's face formed a cross between a scowl and a pout. "I told Ana I'd be back before the wedding, which is tomorrow." He mumbled.
Natasha tried to console him. "It'll be okay. She'll understand." she assured.
"I made a promise." Bucky said glumly, "And now I have to tell her I won't be there." He pushed himself off the couch and pulled his phone out of his pocket.
"Buck, I wouldn't." Steve said, reaching for his friend's arm, "It'll probably put a lot of stress on her if she knows what we're trying to do here."
Bucky ripped his arm away from Steve, "I don't like keeping secrets from her." He snapped. He was still angry at Steve for not coming forward about the threats from Ross. He'd kept his emotions to himself until now, but no way was he going to miss such an important date with Ana without so much as a call.
He went outside and dialed her number. He waited impatiently through seven rings until there was a pause. His heart skipped a beat expecting to hear her voice, but dropped to his stomach when he realized it was her voicemail. She was probably sleeping, as it was 3am back in New York. Bucky shuffled his feet in the snow while he waited for the dial tone.
"Hey, doll," he said, into the phone, shifting his weight from side to side, "I have some news… Steve and I tracked down Friedrich, and we're gonna be home soon, but… it's not gonna be in time for the wedding. I'm really, really sorry. It's just… we've got a lead here and he wants us to follow it. But don't worry, love. Everything's gonna be okay. I love you, and I'll see you very soon."
He hung up the phone, kicked the snow one last time, and went back inside.
Ana actually hadn't been sleeping as he thought, but rather, she was wide awake and lying on the bathroom floor. After Bucky had left she tried so hard to keep her promise to him but it wasn't easy. In the beginning it was business as usual, minus any training due to her hand. But as the days stretched on, she began to spiral into a state of disarray.
She didn't let herself watch the news, and currently avoided her social media. Even though Pepper had promised her the press on the Battery Park incident was very minor and completely forgotten, she still didn't want to possibly see herself and be reminded of her outburst and fight with Steve.
Even though Ana pushed that to the back of her mind, she was finding it hard to sleep. She tossed and turned every night for longer than the last. Then in the morning she would drag herself out of bed. Her muscles ached terribly, and it felt like there was a very heavy weight on her shoulders. She would busy herself with housework, paperwork, books, and Netflix to make it through the day. She tried to keep herself too busy to think at all, because then her mind would start to run wild, plaguing her with stress and worry for Bucky while he was away. Sure, Bucky going away on missions was normal and she was honestly a bit glad to be away from Steve for a bit after their argument, but in truth, Ana really wanted Bucky to be at home. Initially it she denied it, thinking it was just her frustration at not being on the mission with him, but then it stretched into irrational worry of something bad happening and him not coming home, or that he would come home and be angry with her. This led her very few hours of sleep to be plagued with nightmares, and she got so frustrated one night she used an old pocket knife to cut right above her knee.
Bucky called the next day to check in, and she couldn't bring herself to admit the truth. She told him everything was fine, but the guilt ate away at her. Not much later the heavy stress of her brother's wedding and seeing her parents for the first time since the disastrous dinner set in and she completely lost her appetite. She was nauseous and trembling from lack of food and sleep. She couldn't sit still and couldn't move either. And even though she tried to keep busy with cleaning, laundry, and television as much as she could, sometimes she would break down in tears unexpectedly and uncontrollably.
This routine went on for days. Ana tried mentally kicking herself into shape and when that didn't work, she secluded herself to her room, not wanting to bother everyone else. She was sick and tired and a complete mess; this constant sadness and stress felt so unlike her. It felt as if her brain was out to sabotage her.
True to his word, however, Tony kept an eye on Ana and coaxed her out of her room for at least one meal a day. She still didn't eat much: usually just half a sandwich or some fruit. Tony wasn't satisfied with that so he made more effort, tempting her with her favorite meals and sweet treats. Even Ana's favorite foods didn't succeed in getting her to eat more, as she usually found herself feeling ill after eating only small portions. She covered it up though, not wanting Tony to feel bad or anyone else to know she wasn't feeling well, so she ate, and even on one particular night, had a few drinks to go with her favorite pizza, thinking it might help take some the edge off.
Unfortunately, all it did was make her throw up, which is how she ended up spending her night on the cold tile floor in the bathroom when Bucky called. Honestly, even though she blamed the alcohol, she worried she might be getting sick.
When Ana woke up the next morning, she was unsteady, trembling, and chilled to the bone. Her stomach was still doing flips and turns, so she rolled out of bed and put on Bucky's sweatshirt. Breathing in the scent of his cologne nearly had her in tears again.
Checking her phone and realizing she had a message from Bucky warmed her more than the sweater.
She frantically unlocked her phone to listen to it, only to have her heart stop entirely when she heard his news. She played the message again… twice, to be sure she'd heard correctly.
Ana swallowed hard and blinked back her tears. It wasn't right for her to be angry at him, she reminded herself. He was doing his job. Neither one of them always got to be home on time. However, she was now overwhelmed with worry. He had sounded so stressed and tense, something about the way he talked made her nervous.
Jarvis informed her that Thor had arrived back at the tower, and Tony wanted her to join everyone on the main floor for a welcome breakfast.
"I don't feel so well, Jarvis. Maybe next time."
"Mr. Stark said you'd likely decline, and he wishes me to disconnect the wireless in your apartment, unless you accept his offer."
Ana rolled her eyes, "Okay, fine, I'm on my way."
Getting out of bed and dressing herself hurt. Her muscles ached from lack of food and sleep. Her stomach was in knots, but she ignored it. She would just have to put extra focus on the wedding until Bucky returned. It wouldn't be so bad. Her parents were a nightmare, but she loved her brother, and was able to be happy as long as he was happy.
She changed her clothes, keeping Bucky's sweatshirt, and went upstairs to join everyone.
Tony greeted her with a big smile and ushered her to the kitchen where there was enough food to feed at least thirty people(Which when Thor was in the tower, was necessary).
Ana tried to smile and seem happy enough that everyone would just leave her alone. All she needed to do was eat some food, make some small talk, then she could go back to her room. Easy enough.
Suddenly, Ana's brain started buzzing. She couldn't move, couldn't focus, and suddenly… couldn't breathe. Her face felt warm and there was a crushing weight in her chest felt as if there was an elephant stepping on her sternum. She felt like she would throw up and then the room started spinning. Maybe not really, but it felt like it was, and it really wasn't helping her nausea. She tried to grab onto the counter to keep her balance. Tony looked over and saw the girl a pale, shaky, mess.
"Hey, Ana, you okay?" he asked.
Ana tried to swallow so she could talk and it felt like swallowing a piece of gravel.
"I-I think I need to sit down." She mumbled. Her voice sounded like a high squeak. But Tony understood her nonetheless, and brought her a chair. Ana collapsed into it in a highly unladylike fashion and slumped over. The crushing weight on her chest just increased by about a thousand pounds, and she gasped for air. In a second Tony was kneeling in front of her.
"Ana, listen to me," he whispered, "just take a deep breath."
Ana inhaled shakily and sharply, and her eyes started to water. "It hurts." she panted, shaking her head.
"I know it hurts, but it won't last much longer. You just need to trust me okay?" he offered his hand to her.
"Okay." she replied, taking his hand.
"Now close your eyes and breathe as deeply and slowly as you can."
Ana took a shallow breath, tears now flowing freely.
"Listen, Ana, I know it sounds crazy but you're perfectly fine. You just need to act like it, and this will pass."
Ana tried for a slower breath. It hurt a little less than the first one so she attempted another, and another, and another, until she was breathing somewhat normally again.
Then she noticed everyone had seen her breakdown, and started to panic again.
"I'm so sorry! I swear I'll get over it it's just the wedding and the-"
"It's fine, Ana. You're okay, it's happened to all of us at least once." Sam said.
"Yeah," Tony agreed, "Anxiety attacks are nothing to be ashamed of. It's just your mind's way of-"
"It's not an anxiety attack!" Ana insisted, jumping up from the chair, "It's just my stomach hurts- probably something I ate." she lied. She wasn't even sure why she was lying anymore. It just felt like she couldn't say the truth even if she wanted to. She closed herself back in her room and ignored any and all offers of company from then on.
The day of the dreaded rehearsal dinner finally arrived, and Ana caught the first train to Westchester. Despite all her anxiety, the rehearsal went surprisingly well. Her mother did of course, make snide remarks about her splint ruining the photos, but neither Logan or Jenna seemed bothered by it.
The hardest part of it had been all the socializing-Ana was still fighting her anxiety and the cut she'd made on her leg was really hurting, probably because of all the standing and walking she reasoned. She tried a few drinks to get her mind off it, and maybe had a few too many, she was feeling pretty queasy and feverish the next morning when she was supposed to be getting ready. She put on her dress(a gorgeous powder blue long-sleeve chiffon gown with and empire waist) and went downstairs to finish getting ready with Jenna and her other bridesmaids. The smell of hairspray and the squealing and giggling of overexcited sorority sisters didn't help her headache, though that probably wasn't entirely to blame on the alcohol, as she'd never really liked dressing up in the first place. The shoes proved to be the worst part; after walking around for exactly four minutes the dull sting in her leg escalated into a sharp, stabbing pain. She popped some aspirin and layered some extra coverup under her eyes before they all piled into the limo that was taking them to the chapel.
Ana felt like she was going to pass out through the entire ceremony, and when it was finally over she was almost relieved. The painkillers hadn't helped her hangover or her knee so she'd be happy to ditch her shoes and sit down at the reception hall for a few hours.
Ana did her best to keep her composure as they walked out, and the ride to the reception hall. Ana changed her shoes discreetly and wandered outside to get some fresh air while waiting for her brother and new sister-in-law finish making rounds with their guests so the festivities could begin.
The sooner they start, the sooner they end, Ana thought.
Ana checked her phone to see if any further updates from Bucky had come through, but there was nothing.
She felt that heavy weight on her chest again, and took a deep breath, trying to push her thoughts aside.
"Ana?" Someone asked. She turned around and was surprised to see Jenna standing there, frowning.
"Are you alright?" she asked.
"Oh—Yes, I'm fine." Ana lied.
"Are you sure? You don't look very well."
Ana tried to brush it off, insisting again she was fine, but soon a dizzy spell overcame her and she had to sit down on the step.
"I think you should go home and rest." Jenna said.
"No, I couldn't! Not on a day like today." Ana argued. Jenna hoisted up the heavy skirt of her dress and sat on the step with Ana. She studied her face carefully and pressed her hands to Ana's cheeks.
"You definitely have a fever." She said, "Could be the flu. There's a horrible strain going around right now. Go home, drink some tea, and get some rest. I'm sure Logan would agree with me."a
Ana, so tired of pretending and arguing, gave in at last, taking the first train back to the city rather than crashing at her parents' house.
When she arrived back at the tower and entered her apartment, she did wonder if Jenna was right. Maybe she was getting sick. Something just felt so, so wrong. She told herself she'd be alright. Bucky would be home soon. The wedding was over. There was no need to worry at all. Until Bucky didn't show up the day after the wedding, or the next day, or the next, until it had been almost a week with no news at all. Ana had begun to wonder if Bucky was ever coming back. What if he was hurt? Or killed? Or angry at her. The thought rolled around in her mind. She stopped eating, and sleeping, and finally one night she decided enough was enough. She couldn't take the pain and anxiety anymore.
She downed a shot of vodka, grabbed her pocket knife, and started to slice down her wrist in a horizontal angle. A thin red line oozed to the surface of her skin and she lifted the blade, admiring her work. She made another line, exactly like the first, and brought the blade away again. This time, she noticed, the pain wasn't so bad; it wasn't enough. So she brought the blade down again, slicing deeper and faster than the last. She saw the skin split, little red pearls of blood bubbled up until they formed a bright crimson stream of blood running down her wrist. She looked at it in awe. The blood was still running, and a one small drop dripped onto the kitchen floor. Ana had never cut this deep before, and now that she had she didn't want to stop. She dragged the blade across her arm again, watching the next stream of blood join the first. She did it again and again, leaving nine gaping wounds exposed on her arm. It still wasn't enough. She brought the blade up from her elbow to her shoulder, drawing more blood. The warm liquid trickled down her arm, warming the icy chill inside her. She then dragged the blade along her collarbone, ever so slowly, drawing more warmth.
Ana held the knife firmly in her hands, ready to make another cut, when she heard someone say her name.
She jumped in surprise, whirling around to see Tony standing in her doorway, gawking at the horrific scene in front of him.
"Ana, honey, put the knife down." He pleaded, drawing her back to the present long enough to look down at her arm and see that the blood was still flowing heavily from her wounds, soaking her jeans and the floor beneath her. She let the blade clatter to the floor. The fatigue she felt was growing and she suddenly felt so, so cold, and terrified. She started to hyperventilate.
"Hey, hey, it's okay, Ana." Tony said, "Just come with me and we'll get you cleaned up okay?"
Ana nodded and tried to take a step forward, but she stumbled and tripped, landing hard on the tile. Black spots seeped into Ana's vision. She tried to close her eyes.
Tony rushed over to her, and tore off his jacket, "No. No. Stay with me." he said, pressing it to her wound.
Ana tried to hold on to consciousness while Tony shouted commands over her.
"Jarvis! Tell Bruce to get up here now! And call an ambulance!"
Jarvis' reply sounded distant and faint, like Ana was floating away.
"I don' feel so good.." she slurred, closing her eyes again.
"No, Ana!" Tony said, "Don't you dare. Jarvis what do I do?!"
"Remain calm, Sir. The emergency responders have been notified and Dr. Banner is on his way up. Just keep pressure on the wound and continue conversing with Miss Collette until they arrive."
"Okay, Ana, don't worry, help is almost here."
Ana mumbled something weakly, but Tony couldn't understand it.
"It'll be okay." He said, though whether it was for himself or for Ana he wasn't sure.
An eternal minute later Bruce ran into the room. Assessing the situation, he grabbed some rags from the counter.
"Ana, can you hear me?" he asked, checking her pulse.
Ana hummed weakly.
"I need to know, did you take any pills or medications?"
Ana grunted and tried to shake her head.
"Did you consume any alcohol?"
Ana hummed again.
"I think that means yes." Tony said, "There's a bottle open on the counter."
Bruce cursed under his breath.
"What?" Tony said, voice laced with panic.
"She's burning up. But she's losing a lot of blood, her temperature should be dropping. The fever's probably a sign of infection."
Tony felt Ana's forehead. Heat was radiating off her and she was sweating profusely.
"We need to get her medical attention ASAP." Bruce said, "She'll need treatment, probably antibiotics and fluid, and definitely stitches."
Bruce tied the rags around her arms to keep them from falling. Tony picked Ana up bridal style and carried her to the lobby where the medical team was waiting. Pepper was also there.
"Tony! What's going on?!" she exclaimed, "Jarvis said there was an emergency."
She gasped when her eyes landed on Ana, limp in Tony's arms.
"What happened?!"
Tony was too choked up to say it out loud, "We have to go." he said, lowering Ana onto the gurney the EMTs had waiting.
Ana was in and out of real consciousness on the drive to the hospital, but was vaguely aware of people talking and Tony holding her hand the entire time. Her other hand, and entire arm was now completely numb. There were people talking over her and around her. She felt something sharp poking her elbow. She screamed and tried to jerk away. Someone grabbed her shoulders, and someone else grabbed her legs. She felt chills all over and she heard yelling, and then she felt a crushing weight on her chest again, and tried to sit up. The hands on her shoulders held her down again, and she tried to push the person off, but her arms felt like lead.
"Calm down, Ana." Bruce said, "We're almost there."
"Deep breaths." Tony said, and resumed yelling at the other person standing over her.
Ana felt something placed over her mouth and face, and her panic started to subside.
"'Mm tired." she tried to say.
"Try to stay awake, honey." Tony said, but Ana couldn't keep fighting any longer, and quickly drifted into sleep once again.
...
The waiting room at the hospital was completely silent. After everyone had been informed of the situation the waiting room began to fill up slowly, until everyone(with the exception of Scott, who was in San Francisco visiting Cassie) was either slumped over in a plastic chair or pacing the room.
Sam was outside on the phone, trying to contact Steve, Nat, or Bucky, to tell them what was going on. All of them had tried calling at least once, but no one was answering.
Tony was sat in a chair, rubbing his hands on his jeans, which were still stained with Ana's blood.
Pepper was rubbing his shoulder and biting her lip, trying not to let her tears show for his sake.
Bruce was fidgeting with his glasses and cleaning them repeatedly.
Thor was pacing the room, occasionally sitting down only to get back up again.
Clint was leaning against a wall in the corner, face stone cold as ever but his mind was reeling with worry.
Right next to him was Wanda, who had silent tears running down her cheeks, wringing her hands and fidgeting with her jewelry.
Sam entered the room again and fell into a chair by the door.
"Still no answer." He said.
Tony shook his head, "Unbelievable." He mumbled.
"Tony, it's okay." Pepper tried to console, but he swatted her hand away storming out into the hallway.
"J, patch me through to Nat. Whatever it takes." He barked into his phone.
…
Bucky and Steve were at the bar of the very busy casino awaiting their target. Natasha was across the room disguised as a card dealer.
Steve and Bucky were also disguised. Steve was gone full Clark Kent mode in a pair of Ray-bans, while Bucky, on the other hand, was sporting a whole new look.
"You know you didn't have to cut your hair just for this mission." Steve said, sliding his pal a glass of whiskey.
"I didn't," Bucky said, swirling the liquid around in his glass, "I cut it for a wedding. The one you made me miss."
"Look, I'm sorry about-"
"Don't be." Bucky said, taking a long drink of whiskey, "We have a job to do."
"Hey, if you two are done arguing, you might want to check your 4 o'clock." Natasha said through her earpiece.
Bucky did a casual turn in his chair and sure enough, there was Friedrich.
"I have visual." He said, "Looks like he's going to that table."
The target in question indeed went to a roulette table, and while Bucky expected something totally illegal to happen, all he did was participate in the game.
They kept watch on him for several hours, shifting around the room so as not to be recognized or look suspicious, but kept Fredrich in visual at all times.
"We've been at this for three hours," Bucky stated, "Nothing's happened yet."
"Patience… " Natasha said.
Bucky grit his teeth and went back to his betting. Just when the game was getting exciting, he heard Natasha in his ear again.
"I think our target is making a move for that blocked off staircase. Perhaps he's scheduled a private game?"
Bucky's head snapped up.
"I'm following."
He wove his way through the crowd, trying to get to that staircase, when a security guard stood in front of him, blocking the path.
"I'm sorry, sir. This area is restricted."
Bucky panicked for a moment, unsure of how to respond without punching and running. The espionage thing really wasn't his style.
"Oh there you are, honey!" said a voice behind him. Steve threw an arm around him and pecked his cheek.
"You'll have to forgive my boyfriend, he's had a little too much to drink tonight." He said, half dragging Bucky away from the staircase.
"We'll have to find another way around." He said, pursing his lips.
Natasha surveyed the room, looking for another way to get up the stairs.
"There was a fire escape outside the kitchen that led to the second floor. Think you can get through there?"
Steve just turned and grinned at Bucky.
"Come on, darling, let's go find you some coffee and aspirin." he said in an almost overly exaggerated tone.
Bucky played along with the act and clung to Steve's neck as they stumbled to the kitchen, putting on a scene to confuse the kitchen staff.
"I'll just take him outside for some fresh air." Steve said, bolting for the door.
The two made it outside, there were a few waiters just around the corner smoking so they had to be extremely quiet as they climbed the rusty fire escape.
They were lucky enough the window was unlocked, and no one was there to see the two grown men crawling in through the third story window. Once inside, Bucky dusted the snow off his suit.
"Okay, we're in." Steve said, "Now we just have to find Friedrich."
Steve and Bucky crept down the hallway keeping a sharp eye out. When they finally spotted him, they had just enough time to slip into a supply closet before he saw them.
When they emerged, he was striding down the hall to a locked room. He pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked it. Steve was about to follow when two large guards posed themselves on either side of the door.
"Shit." Bucky cursed, "This just got a lot harder."
"Follow me." Steve said, pulling Bucky out of the closet, and strolled down the hall, he led them down turns and passages. Until they were at a stairwell. Steve opened the door and started down the stairs.
"Steve, I'm pretty sure this is the exact opposite of where we want to be." Bucky remarked.
"On the contrary, Buck. This will be the perfect place." He said, pushing open a heavy iron door. They were in the basement. Storage boxes dusted with cobwebs lined the walls and in one corner sat a menacing looking old furnace.
"Remember the old apartment building ma and I lived in way back when? And we'd play explorers down in the boiler room?" He said with a grin.
"And we'd sit by the vents and listen to Mrs. Jennings talk on the telephone." Bucky said, realizing what Steve was planning.
"Nat? Can you hear me?" he asked. The reply was soft and fuzzy. The signal in the basement was spotty at best but Natasha did come through faintly.
"If I'm right, this vent from the furnace will go to straight to the room upstairs." Steve explained, taking out a small recording device and sticking it in between the plates of the vent.
With his ear pressed right next to the vent, Bucky and his enhanced hearing could just make out the sound of the voices in the room above.
"Good evening, Commander."
"Good evening, Schwarz, glad to see you are back from New York."
"Yes, retrieving Anderson was no easy task. The main is an idiot, and fell right into the Widow's trap."
"Well, all that aside. Anderson will be dealt with accordingly, but I have another assignment for you. But first, deal the cards."
"Nat, can you amplify this mic at all?" Steve asked into his comm. No response.
"Nat? Nat, can you hear me?" Steve asked, tapping his earpiece.
"Sorry, Steve, I just got an urgent call from Tony." she replied.
"Tony?" Steve asked in disbelief, "He knows we're on a mission."
"What's wrong?" Bucky asked, knowing somehow that something wasn't right.
"It's Ana." Natasha said, "She's in the hospital."
Steve looked at his friend. Here they were, so close to potentially bringing this all to an end. They could finish this right here, right now. But Bucky's face was distraught, panicked, and worst of all, guilty; and Steve knew he had been the cause of that guilt. One look at his friend and Steve's decision was made.
"Get the jet. We're calling off this mission."
...
All the Avengers jumped out of their chairs at once as a petite nurse opened the door to the waiting room. No one could form the words to ask the question etched on each of their faces.
"Miss Collette is stable." she said, "The blood loss wasn't severe, and we've sutured the wounds on her arms and chest. She's on IV antibiotics for the infection, so we'll be keeping her overnight so we can monitor her response to the treatment."
Everyone either sighed in relief or nodded solemnly, processing the news.
"Can we see her?" Wanda finally piped up.
"They're transferring her to a room now." The nurse, Samantha, said.
"A private room." Tony said, "I'll cover it." waving his hand dismissively. The nurse nodded in confirmation. She was given a sedative to help her sleep, given her state when she came in."
"What happened?" Sam inquired.
"I'm afraid I can only discuss that with family members."
"She had a high fever when I saw her, those sometimes cause people to hallucinate." Bruce explained.
"Oh, Ana." Pepper gasped.
"I'll inform you when she has been transferred, you should be allowed to visit as long as you want so long as not too many people are in the room at once." Samantha explained before leaving again.
Within an hour, they were allowed to go back and see Ana. Completely ignoring Samantha's advice, they all crowded into the room at once, again resuming the sullen silence of the waiting room. Wanda put a spell on Ana, to keep nightmares and hallucinations away and help her rest peacefully. Pepper pulled the blankets over her so she wouldn't get cold. When a nurse came in and saw the group she insisted they all leave so Ana could rest. Sam, Thor, and Clint left at her request but Wanda lingered longer. Tony was eventually coaxed into leaving by Bruce and Pepper so he could eat and shower. He returned less than three hours later with the book she had left open on her coffee table and a box of Star Wars band-aids. He stayed until long after visiting hours were over, and the doctor finally threatened to call security. Tony only agreed to go under the circumstances that Bruce was allowed to stay.
It was late in the night when Bucky, Steve, and Nat all barged through the doors of the hospital, still in full disguise, demanding to see the patient.
The young nurse at the desk was stumbling over her words. You try telling Captain freaking America he can't see anyone after visiting hours. Until a doctor came out to see what all the comotion was.
"We're here to see Anastasia Collette." Bucky said.
The doctor, who knew from past experience that getting the Avengers to comply with hospital policy was nearly impossible, led them back to Ana's room
Bucky froze in the doorway of Ana's hospital room. His heart stopped completely at the sight of her in the hospital bed. She looked so small and fragile. His gut twisted with a horrible feeling. Here was his girl, lying in a hospital bed, with an IV tube stuck in her and bandages up her entire arm. Her face was pale grey, and her eyes were dark and sunken in. She looked like a ghost, haunting him with the guilt that he hadn't been there when she needed him most.
So many feelings flooded over him at once: shock, relief, guilt, anger, sadness, and when he finally was able to move close to her, he dropped by the side of the bed on his knees and began to weep.
"I'm so, so, sorry, Ana." he croaked as he grabbed her cold and clammy hand, kissing it so gently, "I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault, Buck." Steve said, patting his friend's shoulder.
"Don't." Bucky growled, "If I had been home in time- if, if I had just stayed home, she wouldn't be here." He wiped the tears from his face, burrowing into the sheets of the bed, letting his tears continue to flow.
Steve approached his friend, hand outstretched, when nat intervened.
"Out." Natasha barked at Steve, pointing to the door. She knew Steve would try to make amends right then and there, but the man needed his privacy.
Once she'd escorted him out, she went back to Bucky's side, and patted his shoulder.
"We'll be in the hall. Take your time, and when you're ready we'll talk to the doctor." she said. As she walked out she stole one last glance back at her friend, and shuddered at the thought of what almost was.
Thanks everyone for reading! I know this chapter was really angsty, but things will get lighter and fluffier for the next couple chapters, I promise.
Again, I apologize if there is any kind of medical inaccuracy in this chapter. I am not a doctor, and have to rely on google, WebMD, and personal experience for my info.
Also, as some of you probably noticed, there is a lot of Tony in this chapter, and we see a lot of his perspective on Ana being hurt and struggling with anxiety. This was kind of my way of showing that anxiety, depression, and self-harm can be hard on loved ones and friends too. As someone who's been both a self-harmer, and seen friends go through self-harm, I can tell you, it sucks to watch someone you care about struggle with that, and you tend to blame yourself. That's what Tony and Bucky are both experiencing in this chapter.