Hi everyone! I'm finally back with another chapter. It's not as long as the last one but there's some fluffy parts to make up for all the angst that's been happening lately.

Steve stood outside Ana's hospital room. He blamed himself partly for her being there. If he had just let her go on the mission she wouldn't be there. He was lost in thoughts of regret and guilt when he heard some footsteps coming toward him.

"How is she?" Said a cool voice.

Steve whipped his head around in shock.

"Phil?"

Agent Coulson stormed down the hallway toward him.

"Captain Rogers, would you care to explain to me why I received a call informing me that a member of your team was brought into medical with self-inflicted injuries for a possible suicide attempt."

"Who called you?" Steve asked incredulously.

"Doesn't matter. I'd like you to answer my question."

"It's not what it looks like." Steve said, "She's going to be alright and she's been doing a lot better lately."

"lately?" Coulson asked, raising his eyebrows, "How long has this been going on?"

"A few months."

"A few months?!" Coulson barked, "You've had an agent—a team member under your watch—cutting herself and you've known for months and you've been letting her on the field? Then I find out you've been receiving threats from Ross and haven't bothered to tell anybody."

Steve looked at the ground, "We were all trying to help. We've been keeping an eye on her."

"Oh really? Is that why you didn't answer a single call sent to you?"

"We were on a mission!" Steve argued. He felt like a child being scolded, and he did not like it.

"A mission that you abandoned! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"We were trying to protect her!"

Coulson pinched the bridge of his nose, "Steve, it doesn't work that way. This kind of problem requires special treatment. We have protocols for this kind of thing."

"Ana didn't want therapy." Steve said, "And we didn't want to force her into anything. But this changes things."

"I really hope it does." Coulson said sternly.

...

"I'm so sorry, Ana." Bucky whispered. I should have been there. I'll protect you from now on, I promise." Bucky whispered to his girl, kissing the back of her bandaged hand.

Bucky quietly rose from her bedside and crept to the hallway.

The doctor was there, speaking quietly with Steve and Natasha.

"What happened?" Bucky asked, "Is she going to be okay?"

"From what we can tell, she cut too deep. Whether or not it was a suicide attempt we can't be sure, at least not until she wakes up. However, the real issue was the infection. There was a laceration above her knee that was exposed and draining pus, she was showing signs of malnourishment and mild dehydration and had a fever of nearly 104 when she came in. She's very lucky she was brought in when she was or there could have been a lot more complications." The doctor explained.

Bucky nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. He couldn't let his mind go that direction right now.

"How is she doing now?" he asked.

"We have her on IV antibiotics for the infection and we've sutured the wounds on her arms and chest. We've also given her a sedative to help her rest." the doctor replied simply, "We can discuss further treatment when she wakes up." With that, the doctor left Bruce, Steve, Bucky, and Natasha standing in the midst of a very uncomfortable silence.

"What other treatments will she need?" Bucky asked Bruce.

"Well, she'll definitely be here for a day or two for the antibiotics and observation." Bruce started, "After that they'll probably give her a prescription to take home."

"What do you mean observation? They can't keep her here if she wants to leave, right?" Bucky asked. He'd been panicked since they got the call that the doctors wouldn't let Ana leave the hospital.

"They may want to do an evaluation, just to make sure she's okay before they send her home."

Bucky crossed his arms, "I don't like the sound of that."

"Buck, it might not be such a bad idea." Steve tried to reason.

"No! I don't want to hear it! She's not crazy!" he exclaimed.

"No one's saying she is." Steve countered, "But she's going through a lot right now but we can't help her if we don't know what's wrong. Why can't you see this is in Ana's best interest?"

Bucky didn't say anything, just clenched his jaw and tensed his shoulders.

"I almost lost her today… " he admitted, burying his face in his hands, "She's hurting so much already and I just don't want to make anything worse for her."

Natasha rubbed his shoulder, "You're just trying to protect her." She observed. Bucky nodded, and rubbed his eyes hard in an unsuccessful attempt to cover his watery eyes. He slumped against the wall and hung his head in defeat, letting his tears fall silently. Natasha gave him a sympathetic look, and squeezed his hand, whispering soft assurances to him in Russian.

"I know this is stressful for you," Bruce added, "And you're blaming yourself, but this is not your fault. Ana is experiencing a challenge to her mental health, and now it's taking a toll on her physically. But she can get through it, and we all can and will help her, but we aren't professionals."

"Bruce is right." Natasha said, "Ana's one of the strongest people I know, but none of us can relate to what she's going through. We might need a little extra help, but everything is going to be okay. Trust me."

Bucky tried, he really did, but right now, he just couldn't believe for a minute that anything was okay. Despite that, deep down, he knew his friends were probably right.

"Look at it this way." Bruce said, "If you had a broken bone, you would get it X-rayed, and then probably be given some painkillers, not to take forever, but just to help until you are well enough to go without them again, right?"

Bucky nodded, not sure where he was going.

"We need to treat this problem the same way. First we need to know exactly what the problem is and where it originated, and then it requires treatment and rest in order to heal. But the human mind is much more complex than a bone, so instead of X-rays we can assess a mental condition through communication and observation. The psychologist I told you about-that's what she doe. She's helped lots of people who have been in Ana's position; and if you wanted to call her or meet her and ask some questions, I'm sure she'd be happy to answer them, if it would put your mind at ease." Bruce said.

Bucky nodded.

"Has anyone contacted her family?" Natasha asked.

"I don't know how to contact her parents, and her brother is out of town," Bucky said, "But he'll probably want to know about this. I'll give him a call."

Bucky returned a minute later, "No answer, but I left a message." he announced.

…

Ana blinked her eyes open slowly. She winced at the lights and sounds filling her head. She tried to sit up but she couldn't, it felt like her body was sinking into the sheets.

Everything was fuzzy, but she could tell she was at medical from the sterile hospital smell. The steady beep of a heart monitor and the dull yellow blanket laying over her only confirmed it.

She heard whispers from the far side of the room, and turned her head to try and make out what they were saying. She was sure she heard Natasha speaking, then Bruce, and finally, she heard the voice she was most sure of, Bucky's.

She tried to sit up again. This time she almost succeeded until she tried to use her hand to push herself up and an unbearable pain shot through her arm.

She collapsed back down on the bed again in defeat. She closed her eyes and groaned in frustration.

A moment later, she felt the bed dip, and a soft hand stroking her cheek.

Her eyes fluttered open again, and this time she was met with a gorgeous ice blue pair staring back at her.

"Hey, doll." he whispered.

Ana's heart melted at the sound of his voice. A wave of relief washed over her, but it was instantly followed by shame and regret. "Bucky… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-" she said.

"Shh… no, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you." he choked out, "If I had just- Oh, doll, you had me so worried." he said, leaning down to kiss her.

Ana clutched his hand in hers, unable to form any more words. Her voice was entirely trapped. They shared a tender, tearful gaze for a moment. Finally, Ana brought her hand up to run through his hair.

"It's short." She said in disbelief.

Bucky let out a hoarse chuckle, "Yeah… You like it?"

"It's weird." Ana admitted, dragging her fingers through the short brunette tendrils, "But it's nice."

They shared a peaceful silence for a few more minutes until Ana asked, "How did your mission go?"

"We located Friedrich but we couldn't capture him."

"Why not?"

"Let's not talk about that right now, okay? I'm more worried about you."

At that moment he doctor walked in, followed by Steve, Nat, and Bruce.

"Good morning, Miss Collette. How are you feeling?" the doctor greeted.

"Fine, I guess." Ana said.

"Do you remember what happened?" Bruce asked.

"Kind of," Ana mumbled, fidgeting with the edge of the blanket, "I remember Tony finding me in the kitchen, falling over, and being in the ambulance, but everything else is kind of a blur."

"Well, you're very lucky your friends were there. You lost a lot of blood. Your infection was also very serious; however, it looks like the antibiotics are doing their job." the doctor said, looking at her clipboard.

"So, when can I go home?" Ana asked, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"Miss Collette, You have a very severe infection, and your fever is still above a hundred degrees. You'll need to stay for a couple of days at least; and before you leave, I'd like you to talk to a psychiatrist. I recommend you seek further treatment but if nothing else, at least we can get you some medication to help you."

Medication? Ana's brain came to a screeching halt, but she couldn't bring herself to ask any questions. The doctor gave Ana a sympathetic look. "I'll check back in later, but if you experience any pain or discomfort, let me know." she said before leaving to check on her other patients.

"Okay, I think we have some things to talk about." Steve said, sitting in a chair by her bed.

"Yeah, like why can't I go back to the tower?" Ana scoffed.

Usually Ana was discharged after treatment since the tower was equipped with a full medical wing that could serve for observation and treatment of minor injuries.

"I'm afraid it's not that simple." Bruce replied with a heavy sigh, "This is very serious, Ana. You could have easily bled out if Tony hadn't found you."

"I know… " Ana admitted, "But I didn't mean for this to happen, I promise!"

"Shhh… we know, doll." Bucky said, stroking Ana's hair "You've said that already."

"I think it's time you started taking your mental health more seriously." Steve said.

Ana rolled her eyes.

"I mean it." Steve said, "I want you to talk to someone about this, at least once, and take any medication the doctor prescribes."

"What kind of medication would it be?" Ana asked.

"Probably an SSRI to help regulate your hormones." Bruce said, "But I couldn't say for sure. I'm not that kind of doctor."

"But what about missions?"

"Well, you'll probably need to stay off of field duty for about four to six weeks so we can assess how the medication is affecting you." Bruce said.

Ana's chest got tight, "I don't want that." she choked out.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but it will most likely speed up your recovery process, and likely you'll be back in the field faster." Bruce explained.

Ana's eyes flicked across the room to Steve.

"This isn't a punishment. We only want to help." he said, "But if you don't get any kind of treatment, I have no choice but to put you on indefinite leave until I'm sure it's not compromising your mental health."

"I thought I was already on indefinite leave." Ana snapped.

"Ana, I'm sorry." Steve said, "I shouldn't have been so hard on you, but please understand, as your friend I can't just pretend this didn't happen. I don't want to force you to do anything, so I'll leave it up to you."

Ana looked at Bucky for some kind of reassurance.

"The choice is up to you, but you don't have to decide right away." he said, squeezing her hand.

"I'll think about it." Ana choked out, "I'm just really tired right now."

Everyone nodded, and left one by one.

...

Later that afternoon, Ana was reading her book when she heard a soft knock at her door. Looking up, she saw Tony standing there with a coffee cup and a bag of something dripping grease that smelled absolutely amazing.

"Special delivery." He announced.

"Real food!" Ana cheered, tossing her book to the side.

Tony laughed, placing the brown sack on the table by Ana's bed. "I'm not sure any of this qualifies as real food."

"Better than whatever the stuff here is." Ana argued, eagerly grabbing and opening the bag.

"There's all the necessities," Tony said, "Fries, doughnuts, pizza, and finally," he handed her the cup in his hands, "a triple shot salted caramel mocha from that place you millennials are always raving about."

"Thank you!" Ana took a long sip of her latte, savoring the frothy goodness, "Seriously the only thing worse than the food here is the coffee."

"Agreed." Tony said as he sank into the chair by her bed while she dove into the bag and pulled out two containers of fries.

"Two?" she asked, "Were you buying lunch for me or Thor?"

"One is for me." Tony replied, taking one container and tearing a packet of ketchup open with his teeth, "Pepper's on this meal plan detox thing," he explained, drizzling the ketchup over his fries, "I was trying to do it with her, you know, to be supportive, but seriously, I can't even look at another piece of grilled chicken or broccoli."

Ana laughed, squeezing her ketchup on the side of her fries, like a sensible person. She munched on her fries in silence for a few minutes.

"Hey, Tony?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for not letting me bleed out on the kitchen floor." Ana said.

"I did what anyone else would have done." Tony replied, "Just promise me I'll never have to do it again."

"Deal."

Ana looked out the window, mindlessly stirring her coffee.

"You seem upset. What's up?" Tony asked.

"Steve says I have to stay here to have my head shrunk. " Ana grumbled, "And Coulson stopped by. I can't believe Steve told him I was here."

"Steve didn't tell him, I did." Tony said nonchalantly, grabbing a doughnut out of the bag.

"Tony?!" Ana exclaimed, "How could you?"

"I couldn't locate Steve or Bucky. They wouldn't answer their phones and he was the only person besides me who could have found them. But I don't think Coulson had anything to do with the doctor's decisions."

Ana glared at her fries.

"You know it's really not so bad." Tony said.

"You know that?" Ana inquired.

"Well, I do now, but believe me I wish I'd been less stubborn and slightly more trusting when I was your age. Probably could have saved myself a lot of grief that way."

Tony paused, looking at her with a sad expression she'd never seen on him before, "I'm serious. You have to talk to someone, a professional, Bucky, Nat, even me, I don't care, but you need to do it, and you need to do it soon."

"I don't know how well talking would work for me." She said.

"You'll never know if you don't try; just give it a chance. Ana, please, don't make the same mistakes I did."

Ana sighed. Deep down, she knew he was right.

That night, Ana and Bucky were spooning in the hospital bed (much to the chagrin of the hospital staff), and Ana was staring down at her bandages, which were now decorated with an array of Star Wars band-aids.

"Bucky do you think there's something wrong with me?"

"Of course not, doll, why would you think that?"

Ana shrugged, "Maybe cause I'm in the hospital for slicing my own arms to shreds. Tony's right. I probably do need a shrink."

"That's entirely up to you, doll." Bucky replied, "But I think it could be good for you. And maybe medication could help you too. You wouldn't walk around on a broken leg, would you? You need to think of your brain the same way. It has an injury, so you give it rest and treatment and take medicine to help it heal." he said, using the analogy Bruce had shared with him.

Ana shuffled around to face him. A task that proved to be extremely difficult between the IV tubes and the bandages.

"Where did this come from?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, "You were so upset when Steve brought it up the first time."

"It's kinda stupid… " Bucky mumbled, "But I was just stuck in thinking of how it used to be when I was young and it just… well, it wasn't pretty."

"Sanitoriums and lobotomies and all that?" Ana quipped.

"Yeah… " Bucky cringed, shaking his head to force the images away, "And I guess I was just scared and panicked when Steve brought it up the first time cause I was still in shock over finding out about you. But Bruce and Natasha explained some things and had me meet a psychologist he knows and she seems really nice. I think you'd like her."

"Really?" Ana asked.

"Yeah." Bucky said, "I'm sorry I freaked out about it before. I just didn't understand it. Please don't let that influence your decision. I'll support you no matter what."

"I just want to go home." Ana mumbled, "And forget this ever happened."

"I think we both know that's not going to help." Bucky said, giving her those evil puppy-dog eyes, "Whatever you decide, you need to start taking this seriously, Ana."

"I will." Ana promised, "I'll take take the meds and talk to the shrink."

Bucky kissed her forehead, "I'm so proud of you."

A few days later Ana was released from the hospital. She sat on her bed at the tower later that night, thinking about the events of the past week. Everything had gone so wrong; she let herself completely fall apart, and it wasn't until now, when she looked down at her mummified arm and the bottle of pills on her nightstand that she'd even noticed how far she'd fallen.

She was exhausted. She was tired. She was scared of herself. She felt helpless and trapped in the darkest corner of her mind.

She curled into a ball on her bed and started to cry. She knew she looked pathetic, sobbing alone in the dark. She dreaded that anyone walk in her room at that moment.

She wasn't sure how long she cried, but it felt like hours. Hours of wailing and the worst part was, the crying wasn't helping her one bit. She still felt hopeless…

A light broke through her bedroom. Then a broad shadow and a soft voice followed.

"Ana? What's the matter?"

She didn't want him to see her like this.

"Nothing." she sobbed.

"I can't be nothing." Bucky said, sitting on the bed, "Oh, baby, I thought you were feeling better." he sighed, rubbing her back.

"I'll never feel any better. I'm crazy!"

"Ana, you're not crazy. Don't ever say that."

"It's true! I can't do anything right! I have nightmares all the time and it always feels like there's something wrong." Ana cried.

Bucky's heart stopped. He'd seen Ana at her worst but she'd never been this angry or upset as long as he'd known her.

He shushed her gently, rubbing her shoulder, trying to think of something to say.

"Ana, listen to me. This week has been really hard for both of us. You've been going through a lot and now everything is changing and even if it is for the best, it's scary, I know. But we're gonna get through this, doll."

Bucky pulled Ana into his lap. She buried her head into his shoulder, her tears still not letting up.

"I never meant for it to go this far." She sobbed, "I'm so sorry."
He held her as she cried, whispering comforts into her ear.

"It's okay, doll. I believe in you. You can do this."

Thank you all for reading. I'll be honest I'm not super proud of how this chapter turned out. I feel like it's too short and only a filler chapter. I wasn't sure about having Coulson appear in the story, but I felt like someone needed to call Steve out for being such a punk and keeping the Ross thing a secret and for yelling at Ana. am I being too mean to Steve? My friend thinks I am, but let me know what you think, I'd really love to hear your thoughts.

On a separate note: I want everyone to know that infected cuts are serious business(as I've learned from all the gross and disgusting research I did for this chapter) and someone could easily end up in a very dangerous situation similar to or even worse than Ana's. So please, stay safe and if you have a cut that is more than 1/4 of an inch deep or bleeds for more than ten minutes, please seek medical attention.