Well, I'm back with the fifth chapter. I also plan to have the sixth chapter uploaded around next week. By the way, you might want to have something to throw up in at the ready. Enjoy!

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Diving into More Awkward Soup

Within ten minutes after his awkward encounter with Trent, Justin finally decided to go along with his plans to go for a swim in the pool. Sadly, the Hawaiian did not receive the experience he was expecting at the pool.

The first problem involved Lindsay and Sierra. They were making out on one of the branches of one of the trees that surround the pool. Sure, Justin was a fan of femslash, but not when it involves Sierra. It was not helped by the fact that Lindsay still thinks that Sierra is Tyler, despite obvious indications such as Sierra's abundant boobs, her long hair and her lack of a wang. But it was especially not helped by the fact that Tyler was sitting on the diving board, glancing longingly, jealously and miserably at the couple.

This seriously bothered Justin, as the model wanted to dive into the swimming pool. He figured he might as well push Tyler off the board. The American climbed up the ten metre high ladder and stood up straight on the diving platform. He tiptoed over to the jock, ready to give him a little push, when Tyler let out a relentless sigh.

Justin froze. He realised he could not bring himself to toss the meathead overboard. This was totally unlike Justin; a man who does not care about anybody but himself. Admittedly, Justin was aware that Tyler really cared for the girl that keeps mistaking someone else – even if that someone else happened to be a female – for Tyler, and ends up shifting that someone else. A man and a woman – and also a third-gender and a transsexual – are not the same in physical terms, so how could it be possible for someone with an IQ between sixty and seventy to get involved in such a crazy scenario? However, if Lindsay was stupid enough to ride a woman despite being a perfectly heterosexual female – theoretically, of course, considering how surprisingly successful the relationship between Sierra and Lindsay is – then it's a possibility that Tyler was sulking because all of that time he spent with that girl was in vain. If Sierra truly was that heterosexual female Justin thought she was – hence her fake yet convincing obsession over Cody, a male – then Justin would not be alone in that awkward dilemma of his; not that it has anything to do with Tyler's dilemma. Besides, if Justin acts all nice and comforting to the meathead jock, then he can easily go back to his manipulative ways, and utilise his refurbished powers to spend as less time with Owen as possible.

Justin decided to talk to Tyler.

"Why are you so down in the dumps, Tyler?" Justin asked, in his artificial yet effective soothing voice.

"I'm not down in the dumps," Tyler replied in a monotone voice, not bothering to turn around and face the model. "I'm up on the diving board."

Justin rolled his eyes. "I can see that," he said. "What I meant was: why are you upset?" Tyler blew his nose on his forearm, much to the male model's disgust. The latter opted to look past that.

"Lindsay still thinks Sierra is me," sobbed Tyler. "She's even making out with her although she's not a lesbo. I know that would be hot and all, but I can't have a wank over it. That's my Lindsay over there… banging a girl… thinking that girl's a guy… SHE'S WEARING A BRA FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES!" he howled.

"There, there," Justin soothed, placing his left hand on the jock's left shoulder. "You should probably go somewhere private and cry out all of the pain," he suggested. Tyler finally turned around.

He wasn't smiling. He was glaring.

"Oh, you'd love that wouldn't ya?!" Tyler sneered. "I bet you just want me to leave so you can see the action all on your own! Well I'm having none of it!" Justin was horrified. Truthfully, he wanted Tyler to go. But Justin wanted the meathead out of the picture because he was a downer, not so he could masturbate to the lesbian sex scene. If Justin wanted to do that, he'd simply head up to the roof where'd have more privacy.

"No, you got it wrong!" Justin insisted. "I just feel you need to let it all out so you can move on; and there is no better place to cry than somewhere private so you won't get slagged over it by unsympathetic assholes who mentally believe that only women and children cry. Besides, you could fall off that diving board if you're not careful," he added. Tyler was not convinced. Then again, he probably wasn't paying attention to what Justin was trying to tell him.

"Why should I believe you, you stupid idiot?!" demanded Tyler. "You think you know me, huh?! Well you don't! Why?! Cos I'm cool! Yeah! So it's time to die!"

"That… didn't make any sense," Justin replied, "even you can come up with a better statement than that."

"IT DID TOO MAKE SENSE!" roared Tyler. "IT DID COS I'M SMART AND I KNOW THAT TWO PLUS TWO IS EQUAL TO SIX AND STUFF LIKE THAT SO THAT MEANS I'M SMART!" Justin rolled his eyes. He didn't know what the answer to two plus two was either, but he was sure that the answer wasn't six.

"NOW DIE!" Tyler bellowed, lunging for Justin. Fortunately, Tyler bounced too hard on the less stable part of the platform and, as a result, he was propelled into space. Justin looked up in the sky in shock as he watched the meathead jock blast off into space. If the rumours were correct, that was the seventy-fourth time that happened.

"Jesus, what was that?!" Justin thought aloud.

"An experience that won't be as disturbing as the one that you're just about to experience!" an all-too-familiar voice from behind the American hissed. Justin turned around to find Sierra standing right in front of him. It was futile to say she wasn't in a good mood.

"Sierra," said Justin, sheepishly, "what a pleasant surprise! Are you good?"

"I'll be good when my Lindsay and I have some space!" Sierra snarled, grabbing Justin by the neck and firing him towards an open window at the speed of a hundred miles per hour. Before he knew it, the model was sitting on the one seat he would never sit on if it was the last seat left in the universe, and that includes surfaces that one can lie down on.

"Great Canadian cheese!" squealed Owen. "Perfect timing! You're just in time for the part where you whirl your hair around your head! And I'm just about to climax as well!" Justin gulped when he realised that Owen was still naked.

He could also feel a lump.

I bet you are thanking me for making you have something to throw up in at the ready. I guess all that took to make that something useful was the last line. I hope I didn't cause nightmares, though I honestly don't really care if I did. I'm sure we could do with a few bad experiences to make the good experiences a little more pleasant.

Until next time!