Extra: Jeans

Kurama, contrary to belief, was a realist. A cold, hard realist. It was his nature, after so many years of being five steps ahead of everyone else. Optimism was for chivalrous men, like Kuwabara, and left room ignorance and blindsided judgment. Pessimism was for damaged men, like Hiei, who believed if anything could go wrong, it would go wrong. Realism was for survivalists, with just the right amount of pessimism and just the right amount of optimism to really assess what was happening.

Realistically, Hiei and Mîra did not belong together. He was detached from the world and she thrived in its light. She was an elfin princess, destined for greatness and had been thoroughly educated in academics, magic, and warfare. He was an orphan who was raised by thieves and had to learn on his own about the world he lived in. More critical to marriage, she understood relationships and how they functioned. He did not.

This wasn't to say they were doomed. If Kurama had thought the odd pair to be completely incompatible, he wouldn't have suggested the marriage in the first place. Hiei had his own set of morals that would allow him to care enough for the elf so she would be comfortable.

Realistically, they should have shared a tolerance, maybe even a friendship, and nothing more. Realistically, anything else beyond that was improbable. She was a woman who needed a cultured and civilized man and he didn't really care for culture, not to mention his lack of social skills. Romance, however, was never realistic and was consistently the one exception to any rule.

Consequently, Kurama found that the newlywed fire demon visited him frequently with an abundance of questions; what should he do when Mîra throws a fit, what should he do when he made her mad, what should he do when she made him mad, if he should hold her hand when they went out together, why she took forever in the bathroom, why she didn't pay attention to him while she was reading, why she cared so much about the garden, why she treated Shana like her own child, and the list went on and on.

Realistically, Kurama should have charged Hiei for every mundane question his socially oblivious friend asked because Kurama could have made a fortune.

Every now and then however, Kurama found himself asking the questions to Hiei. One such occasion was after a long trip at the mall. Kurama forced a smile on his face as Boton happily bounced into his apartment and off to his room with her bags, Mîra following her. Kurama plopped down on the couch, rubbing his temples. He usually had an extraordinary amount of patience but spending an hour of trying on jeans alone had pushed it. He cared about his bright, bubbly ferry girl a lot but she was a woman and he was a man. Men and malls never went together.

Kurama sent a sideways glance to his friend who he thought would be looking just as relieved to be out of the place. Instead he looked satisfied, and not tired at all. Thinking back, Hiei had patiently waited for his wife while she and Boton spent an hour picking out jeans when the rest of the time he was muttering under his breath.

Before Kurama could say anything Boton and Mîra reappeared wearing their new jeans. Boton flounced over to him and smacked a kiss on his lips before grinning, "Mîra and I are going to bake cookies for everyone tonight! You two just do whatever, okay?" Kurama smiled at her and she flounced away, starting to pull out bowls and baking ingredients. He glanced over at his friend who was smirking playfully at his wife who did not seemed thrilled to be dragged into the kitchen. Mîra did not attempt to hide her contempt for using her hands in "servant labor."

Hiei said something quietly to his wife and she rolled her eyes at him before begrudgingly walking over to the kitchen. Hiei was staring at his wife with an amused expression as he settled into the chair, kicking his feet up on the coffee table and putting his arms behind his head. Kurama knew this to be his favorite lounging position but he didn't understand it. Why didn't Hiei have the pent up frustration that Kurama did?

"I can't believe how long we spent in that place," Kurama said quietly enough so the women in the kitchen wouldn't be able to hear him.

Hiei's relaxed visage immediately turned into his famous scowl. "I hate that damn place. I don't know why she insists on spending her allowance on such frivolous items," he said irritably.

Hmm that was more in line with what his reaction should be… "That hour they spent on the jeans was absurd. I'm never letting Boton spend that much time trying on jeans again."

To Kurama's surprise, and curiosity, Hiei's scowl slid into a mischievous grin. Well smirk rather, since Kurama rarely found instances where Hiei actually grinned. Kurama raised an eyebrow at his friend as he turned and stared at his wife. She was standing , rummaging for something in one of the cabinets. Then she bent over and Kurama stared at her and noticed the jeans wrapped around her lower torsos natural curves quite attractively.

Kurama suddenly understood and said amusedly, "You do realize she probably knows you're staring at her."

"Tch, as if she really cares," Hiei responded. If he wasn't mistaken, Kurama definitely saw a humorous gleam in his friend's eye. He turned back to look into the kitchen and stared as Mîra placed the mixing bowl so her back was still facing the two men.

"That belongs to me. I know it's hard, but stare at your own woman," Hiei suddenly said gruffly. Kurama turned to him to see his friend glaring at him threateningly.

He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Are you implying that Boton is not attractive compared to Mîra?"

"What do you think? Look at them," he snorted. Boton was adding some ingredient and talking to Mîra just as she dropped some eggs and both women bent over to clean up the mess. Kurama's eyes enjoyably stared at Boton for a moment before turning his attention back to his friend. Kurama found it interesting that Hiei was enjoying his wife's physical looks, he never pegged him for the ogling type but then again all rationale seemed to go out the window when attractive women were involved. That didn't mean Kurama was about to let his girlfriend go undefended. It wouldn't be gentlemanly of him, after all.

"There's no need for jealousy, Hiei. Just because I know what Boton's cute butt looks like without jeans and you are left to your imagination about Mîra, doesn't mean you have to be so spiteful."

Optimistically, Kurama thoroughly enjoyed Mîra storming over and yelling at her husband in elvish, just like he hoped she would.

Pessimistically, he was also preparing for Hiei to leap at him with his sword unsheathed.

But realistically, Kurama knew that the flushed Mîra enjoyed her husband's stares, despite her faux anger. Realistically, even though Kurama had deflated Hiei's ego a little, he wasn't going to leap at him no matter how much he wanted to, especially with all the plants in the room. Realistically, Kurama did what he should do; he made himself comfortable as he caught his girlfriend's eye, winked at her, and proceeded to enjoy the wonderful view in front of him.

Realistically, due to his recent enlightenment, he decided the torture of spending an hour on jeans was worth it.