Again, sorry for the long delay, but read Windows 9 if you want to know what my excuses are. Sadly, the delays are not going to stop here. Tomorrow I have to go to a relative's wedding, after that it's Paddy's Weekend (plus I'm Irish, so I have more of a reason to go ape-shit) and after that I have two deadlines to catch up on for next week. So yeah… I'm pretty fucked for updates right now. Enjoy!
WARNING: CONTAINS A LOT OF CURSE WORDS DESPITE THIS STORY BEING RATED AT 'T'!
My Big Fat Creepy Roommate
Those Fingers and Toes
Justin and Owen's community service was finally over but they were not looking forward to the caning. This was especially true with Justin, even though it shouldn't matter to him how physically damaged his body would be, considering that no modelling agent would enter a contract with Justin ever again since that incident at the cinema only a few weeks ago.
Justin and Owen were caned in the same room at the same time. This was because the staff at the prison in which they were flogged felt that as a couple Owen and Justin should experience their punishment together. This brought a smile on Owen's face and thoughts about blowing up the planet to Justin's mind. Fortunately, the due received less strikes than they were originally supposed to receive. Owen unleashed an explosion of farts just after getting one lash. The officer that was birching him was fired back towards a closed window which he crashed through, impaling the poor officer with shards upon shards of glass. Because the prison was located by a 10,000 ft cliff along the coast and because the window was facing the sea, the officer could not be saved.
The unfortunate officer's colleague dropped the cane he was using on Justin just as the incident was happening. Stupidly believing that he could prevent the demise of his fellow employee by miraculously developing superpowers all of a sudden, the other officer jumped out the window. In fairness, that office was panicking. Don't worry. He's in Hell now.
The whole incident was broadcasted on live, international television. This was because Canadian news reporters wanted to televise the first time someone in Canada gets canned for the first time in over forty years. On top of that, all of this happened on a Saturday, so countless numbers of children across Canada witnessed the event. One of the witnesses recorded the whole thing on his mobile phone and uploaded the video onto YouTube. Within the first two hours that video became the most watched video on YouTube.
Even though Owen was technically responsible for the death of one of the officers and indirectly responsible for the death of the other officer, neither Owen nor Justin received any extended sentences. After the incident, Justin and Owen were immediately escorted off to the nearest courtroom, where the judge decided that the humiliation they would receive from that YouTube video would be punishing enough for their crimes.
When they returned home, they were met with an endless list of questions from their neighbours about the experience. Justin responded by showing them away and dragging Owen back to their apartment.
"What's the matter with you?!" Owen demanded. "People love us even more now!"
"Owen, what drugs are you on?!" screeched Justin. "These people were asking us questions because they want to find out how degrading it was for us to experience what we experienced!"
"I didn't find it degrading at all," Owen insisted.
"That's because you're an idiot," Justin deadpanned. Owen ignored him, sat down on the couch, grabbed the remote and switched on the telly.
"Hey, check this out!" chirped Owen. "We're on TV again!"
"WHAT?!" Justin shrieked and gasped at the same time. The model stared ahead at the TV screen in sheer horror as the news reporter went on and on about the event that took place only a few hours ago. The news reporter also discussed the popularity of the above mentioned YouTube video and confirmed that YouTube does not plan to take the video down even though it has actual, live-action footage of people getting killed. The reporter concluded the headline with a statement about how Owen and especially Justin were such fucking eejits that don't deserve any fans.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" wailed Justin. "MY LIVE IS OVER AND THIS IS ALL YOUR FAT, OWEN!" he snarled.
"What did I do?!" Owen gasped innocently.
"FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, OWEN, YOUR GODDAMN FARTS KILLED FIFTEEN PEOPLE IN THE CINEMA A FEW WEEKS AGO AND TODAY YOUR FARTS KILLED TWO OFFICERS!" Justin howled.
"Oh," said Owen, sheepishly, "oops?!"
"'Oops'? We're now the laughing stalks of the whole world and all you can say is 'oops'?!" Justin demanded.
"Well look on the bright side," said Owen, brightly, "even after all that, we still have each other!"
Justin could not believe his roommate actually just said that. Sure, he was aware of Owen's disturbingly obsessive crush on the model, but what Owen just said instantly gave Justin months and months of insomnia. Before Justin could give out to Owen for what he just said and remind him that they are not a couple, there was a series of knocks on the door.
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
"Justin and Owen!" echoed an eerily familiar voice from outside the door.
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
"Justin and Owen!" the voice repeated.
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
"Justin and Owen!"
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
"Justin and Owen!"
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
"Justin and Owen!"
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
"Justin and Owen!"
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
"Justin and Owen!"
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
"Justin and Owen!"
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
*Knock*
"Justin and Owen!"
Justin sighed relentlessly and answered the door. "What the Hell is it that you want from us now, Trent?!" he demanded.
"I just want to thank you and Owen nine times for blessing me with a ninth toe and a ninth finger!" Trent beamed. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
"What are you on about?!" Justin groaned.
"When I found out that you guys killed those two officers, I located their bodies and cut off all of their fingers and toes!" Trent beamed. "I attached one of the fingers onto my right hand and one of the toes onto my left foot! So now I have nine fingers and nine toes!"
"IDIOT!" Harold interjected as he walked past Justin and Trent. "You only have seven fingers! Thumbs are not fingers! Curse your obliviousness to the anatomy of the human hand! GOSH!"
"You know what?! I was going to give you an extra finger and an extra toe, but because you have questioned an important prophet for the Ninth God you can just perish for all eternity in the Place Devoid of the Number Nine!" shouted Trent. He turned his head to Justin and said:
"Ignore that blasphemous heretic! He simply won't believe! And you know why? Because he's a blasphemous heretic! That's why!"
"Okay then..." said a disturbed Justin.
"So anyway, are you and Owen interested in having your ninth fingers and ninth toes attached?" Trent eagerly asked.
"We'll pass," Justin droned. Then he slammed the door in Trent's face. The model ignored the banging and rattling of the door an angry Trent was causing. Trent demanded that Justin answered the door, otherwise he would feel the wrath of the Power of the Nine. Justin, aware that this was all complete bull, continued to ignore Trent's empty threats and sat down on the chair next to the couch.
"Shouldn't we answer the door?" Owen asked.
"Nah," Justin shrugged. "It's Trent being a numerical cultist as usual. Can I have the remote so I can put on something that is not going to shatter us emotionally?" he asked, quickly changing the subject. Owen handed Justin the remote and Justin changed the channel from Keeping up with the Kardashians to Two and a Half Men. After nine minutes of pounding on the door, Trent eventually gave up and decided to try and get Noah and Cody to add more fingers and toes.
So how was this chapter? What did you think of Trent's role in this chapter? What did you think of the caning incident? You can answer all these questions in your review. I'm glad to be back updating my stories again. But between now and the middle of June, updates will continue to be sparse. It's just that I have so much work to do for college and it's not even funny in the slightest. But I'll try to get two more updates for this story done before June, and I'll also try to update Rise of the Planet of the Nine and Battle of the Wings at least once in that time frame. Updates for my other stories have been postponed.
Until next time!