Authors Note:
Thanks for the positive feedback! And MineMan64, both you and my brother pointed out an oversight which I would like to address. That being, why does Sayori know about the birds and the bees, but not get what would be happening in the closet? In fairness, I do think she would know about the birds and the bees, she's 18 after all, so it would've come up, but the idea of any indecent acts taking place on school grounds would not cross her sweet little noggin. That was my thinking at the time, but I can totally see how that would set off the CinemaSins impulse within us all.

"Time to oversleep!"

"Sleepover, Sayori. We should really not oversleep, we were almost late today because you overslept."

She pressed her fingers together, a pose that looks really weird but also even cuter in this 3D environment.

'E-Eh? Meanie! Stop picking on my grammar, okay? And it was your choice to wake me up, I wasn't holding you up."

"Heh, don't worry Sayori, it's not a big deal. Say, do we have any tests soon?"

"Wh-What? Do you not remember your own tests? Geez, you're worse than me sometimes! Ehehe! In any case, no, none for a few weeks, thank goodness."

Well that's good.

"Nice. So do you want to watch a movie or something?"

An hour and a half later

"Sayori, why are you crying?"

"Sniff… The movie."

"We're watching friggin Charlie Brown and the Chocolate Factory. What about that makes you sad?"

"I saw that Film Theory about how much the factory costs and now I feel sorry for poor Charlie Brown! Legal fees are going to saddle him with debt!"

First off, terrible theory. I could beat on that theory harder than Dadsuki beats Natsuki. Entertaining, as always, but not correct, Wonka could just fix the violations and still make an enormous profit instead of giving away the company, plus good luck getting health and safety inspectors in there to sue them. His theories are usually clearly flawed. He's a smart guy and he's funny though, so I still watched his videos until my demise.

That's beside the point though, it's just really interesting to see how much the real world and DDLC's world are intersecting. I wonder, how much of the internet is still up and running?

"Hey Sayori, wanna watch some Youtube, or play a co-op game?"

"Yes!"

"... It was an either-or question, yes is not a correct respon-"

"YES!"

"... Co-op game it is!"

I look online for Fireboy and Watergirl, the only online co-op game I can think of.

"Uh… MC, what's this?"

Oh right. I kind of assumed the game was also popular in Japan. Uh...

"A pen pal from Australia recommended it to me. You use the arrow keys or WASD, it's a co-op puzzle platformer thing. It's quite fun."

"Oh, okay."

We play it for quite a while. God, I hadn't played this since I was 13, the nostalgia right now is just… wow.

By the time we stop, it's dark outside.

"So now what MC?"

"Uh… "

I'm hesitant to suggest anything now. I sort of want to watch some Youtube, but how do I know if what I'm suggesting is even a thing in Japan? I mean, apparently she watched MatPat somehow, even though his videos are only available in English in the real world… Unless she watched them with subtitles? Or was actually watching them in English? Nah, she barely knows her native language, let alone a second one. Maybe in this world some English speaking popular figures are Japanese? Whatever the case, I only know one Youtuber that I KNOW speaks Japanese, being that weird Kizuna AI person.

I suddenly realise that while I was going off on this tangent, Sayori had ran off. Dang, I finally get what they're talking about when they talk about characters spacing out, I never did that in the real world.

"Sayori?"

She runs in holding… A rope. The one she used for the noose in game.

"Hey MC! You've been acting all nostril garlic all day, so I figured we would do some skipping again!"

God. Fucking. Dammit. Really universe?

"Nostalgic, not nostril garlic."

"I ASKED YOU TO STOP CRITICISING MY GRAMMAR!"

"You can remember that from like 4 hours ago, but not how to pronounce nostalgic?"

She sticks out her tongue at me. We quickly grow tired of skipping, both literally and metaphorically, and decided to move onto something else.

"Got any consoles?"

"Well I did have a Switch, but I mean those are uber rare at the moment so I kinda sold it at a huge markup. I'll buy another one when they're more accessible."

"Sorry, are you saying you were a scalper?"

"I removed nobody's scalp! What the hell MC, where'd you get that idea?"

"Sayori, scalpers are people who buy heavily in demand entertainment objects to sell them to others for an enormous profit."

"Oh yeah in that case basically. Oh, I do still have a Wii in the attic… but to get that I'd need to go into the attic so no thank you."

"Is that a not so subtle request for me to fetch your Wii?"

"And so the master has become the grasshopper."

"Sorry what?"

"N-Never mind, just grab it! It'll be in the box labelled Wii."

"You know somehow I suspect I could've figured that out actually."

"Really? How?"

Is… Is she serious? Is she asking how I would identify that the Wii is in the box labelled "Wii"?

I seriously need to check what Monika's done to her before Sayori ends up failing a test or something, she's really a lot more stupid now than she was in game. She wasn't a genius by any means, her grades were probably mostly the initials to the Cinnamon Bun that she is. But now she'd probably fail outright.

She was, and still is, a sweet, kind, caring soul, and that's what matters, but I suspect the marking schedule doesn't include "Does student exude comfort and happiness to those around her?". And I don't know how long this simulation is lasting for, so test results may actually matter, in which case she is not ready in her current mental condition.

Heading up into the attic, I feel around for a light switch. I find something that presses in, but it seems more like… Oh God...

"Ow!"

The light flicks on, and Monika appears in my vision. My forefinger is hovering over her eye, which I evidently just pressed on in my pursuit of a light switch.

"Eh? Makoto, did you hurt yourself? If so, Imma mock you for your girlish yelp there, ehehe. That cry was distinctly feminine, kinda sounded like Monika actually. Wait, I mean, I'll help you like a good friend."

"First off, fantastic save. Second, nah, that was a squeaky floorboard."

"Oh, mkay. Hurry up and find that Wii for Mii!"

I'm about to moan about her saying "Wii for Mii" but then I realise she'd probably just said "me" and my brain automatically heard "Mii" because I'm a friggin nerd.

Monika seems to still be hoping I can't see her. She's making no effort to hide, she's just standing there, still observing me.

I whisper "You know I can see you, right?"

She backed off, stunned.

"D-Does that mean you saw me in the window earlier too?"

"Yeah I was meaning to bring that up. That was really friggin creepy Monika."

"Ahaha, yeah I suppose it was."

She shifted into the position where she's basically leaning forwards as far as possible. You know, that position that defied any vague concept of the laws of physics. I'm not sure if her posture with that position is compatible with having a human spine.

"MC! Hurry up!" Sayori whines.

"I'm sorry, when I heard I was looking for a small white thing that's 12 years old, I thought you were describing Natsuki. My bad."

I scooch past Monika to grab the Wii, and bring it downstairs.

Once it's set up, she shoves Super Mario Galaxy into the disc drive.

"I'm pretty sure this is not supposed to be a multiplayer game."

"Oh yeah? Then explain why there's two controllers." She says smugly, passing the Nunchuk over to me.

"... You know what, sure, let's go with that."

Man, this has been great fun! Why the hell didn't the real MC hang out with her more often?

Wait

No I swear that one wasn't intentional. I just genuinely wanted to know why he didn't spend more time with her, okay?

Uh… Where was I?

I look right. We're both sprawled out on the floor, with a bowl of chips and the connector between the Wiimote and Nunchuk between us. There's an enormous number of crumbs underneath Sayori's face. She's currently holding one between her lips, and staring intently at the screen.

"Ngacaca? Cerm ong!"

"E-eh? What is it Sayori?"

She drops her chip out onto the pile of crumbs on the floor.

"I said "Makoto? Come on!". You were just staring at me instead of playing."

"Oh, sorry. You just look really cute like that."

A hint of red adorned her cheeks.

"H-Hey! That's embarrassing you meanie!"

We continued playing. I can't help but notice that both Sayori and I are slowly shuffling closer together. Eventually, she takes a position where she's resting on my lap. I look down at her and think about -

"Okay that's about enough of that!" Monika's voice suddenly appeared in my mind.

"Jesus!" I blurt out.

Sayori stares at me in confusion. "What the heck? Are you okay?"

"Uh… Yeah, I was just um… praying."

"That's an unusual prayer. Don't those usually involve more than one word?"

"Well you know, it's… important to remember Jesus in day to day life. Blurting out his name at completely irrelevant times, that's just my personal way of keeping him in mind."

"Wait a minute, you're Christian?"

Shit. That's right, Christianity makes up like 2% of the population in Japan.

"Uh… yeah."

She harrumphed. "First you don't tell me about your pen pal, now you don't tell me when you've changed religion, next thing you know you won't even tell me your own name! Go on, what's your name?"

"... You already know my name."

"And see how he dodges the question!"

I roll my eyes, and decide to focus on Monika's voice in my head.

So then Monika… can you hear my thoughts?

"Yep! I didn't think I'd be able to do it, but turns out the NSA already has that technology on you anyway!"

Well that's concerning. Can you please never use that again?

"I dunno, do you plan on getting too close to the girl on the wrong end of the lasso?"

Jesus Monika. Did you always know that you were going to get her killed?

"No, my initial intention wasn't to kill her. I wanted her just depressed enough to feel unworthy of your attention, not actually dead. But evidently I can't do that. The game won't let me get with the player unless everyone else is dead. I can't not kill her, I tried that on my second playthrough."

But this time the player actually exists! I actually am the player. I'm the puppeteer, not the puppet!

"I'm sure you believe that bud. But I've been through this enough times, this is just some really bizarre attempt on the scripts part to push the game back on track after I reduced Sayori's IQ this time. This isn't even the weirdest way it's done so. Once it made Yuri and I date for 4 months pre-game just to adjust for my editing Sayori's favourite food from cookies to cupcakes. Weirdly enough, that did somehow actually work. I still dream of Yuri at night sometimes though."

Okay then, that's… weird.

"In any case, the script will go to great lengths to correct itself. It seems you're the game's method this time."

No I'm not! Wh-What if I can find a way to prove it somehow?

"I don't see how you would, but sure. You do that, and I won't be creating any Sayori themed pendulums, deal?"

Deal. Also please stay out of my mind and stop stalking me. You make it really hard to want to save you.

"S-Save me?"

Oh, and load you too.

"Haha, I'm going to need more than a prophetic knowledge of my future poems to prove you're for real. But seriously, save me from what?"

Goodbye Monika.

"Oh, you're no fun. Fine, I'll go. You've got under a week pal."

And with that, she's gone. I resume paying full attention to the game.

We play for another hour.

Yawning, Sayori stretches and moves from my lap. "So I guess it's time to hit the hay, huh?"

"Yup. Where will I be sleeping?"

"In my room, like the old days."

"Uh… In a sleeping bag?"

"Ehehe, you're funny MC. No, we'll share the bed."

Dear Christ I hope Monika is no longer monitoring me. She'd be livid at this.

"Won't that be a little weird?"

"Nah, we won't be, y'know… We're just going to sleep. Together."

"That still sounds weird to me."

"How about this, we're going to sleep as friends with benefits."

"Do you know what "friends with benefits" means?"

"It's friends with whom your relationship is beneficial."

"... No, no it's not. Come up with a new way of phrasing it, that phrasing is way weirder."

"We're going to leave the realm of consciousness on a shared mattress."

"You know strangely enough that's actually the least weird way you've said it. I can work with that."

And so we went to her room to sleep. My mind is swirling with all that's happened today… I'm going to need to find some way to prove to Monika that I'm real. I don't know how I could possibly sleep knowing all that I have to do, and with Sayori just inches away... I can't possibly fall asleep under these conditions -

Wait what's that beeping sound?

Oh. It's Sayori's alarm clock. I guess I did fall asleep. 6 AM.

I wake her up, and we prepare for school together.

print(Countdown_formatted)
138h 36m 28s remaining.

Tick tock MC. You'd best hurry, or this little cinnamon bun is going to get burnt.