Authors Note:
First off.
Dragonfruit Chan.
You made me go and relearn small chunks of Python to see if I was right or not.
I am now 60% sure that what I did was sort of mostly correct. I see what you think I did wrong, but I maybe might be correct perhaps.

That's good enough for me.

In any case, we all know what day it is… it is, in fact, the one, the only… day 55 days prior to Christmas! Oh and also Halloween. Unless you're reading this back afterwards. In which case, this is a Halloween special.

Previously, on Hell oWorld;

Natsuki got pregnant.

"Yeah, I'm capable of being pregnant, so can you please stop being asses just because I don't have a terribly feminine build? I swear to God if any of you bastards makes jokes about my gender again I'm going to commit arson."

On a related note, she then committed arson twenty seconds later.

Meanwhile, Sayori bought Hawaii.
"I rule my 1.4 million or so people with an iron fist. I broke the Geneva Conventions yesterday! Ehehehe!"

Yuri became a neurosurgeon.
"It's about brains and stabbing things. What's not to like?"

Monika started a drug cartel.
"I just deleted every other drug producer. Accidentally, including the ones making some legitimate pharmaceutical products. I now own health. I also own the illicit drug industry, which I use to worsen public health. My net worth is higher than your country's GDP."

And Dadsuki bought a whip.
"I-I'm a big Indiana Jones fan. Don't give me that look."

And now, back to Hell oWorld.

I wake up, and notice a notification on my phone. A Discord DM from someone called "My Name Is Inigo Monika".

"Don't ask why I'm sending this message at 4 AM. I lead a very healthy life. In any case, I set up a Discord server! Pass the invite link to Sayori, please."
And then a second message. " discord . gg / 67rEnRJ ".
Oh yeah… what with Monika breaking into my house, I'd forgotten that she'd asked for our account names so she could set up a server.

I send Sayori the link, and then join.

In addition to My Name Is Inigo Monika, Natspooky and Boori are in the server. Ah, Halloween, got it.

N: Monika, please, change your username to Demonika. Just for today.

M: Natsuki, I'm sorry, but I don't intend to change my username for a silly holiday.

N: DID YOU JUST INSULT HALLOWEEN? I HAVE KILLED FOR SLIGHTER TRANSGRESSIONS.

Makyoto joined. You must construct additional pylons.

N: Hey Makoto! Can you try convincing Monika to change her name? And for that matter, change your name to Makototally Terrified?

MC: Don't drag me into this. Although sure, I'll change my name, if only to avoid you pestering me on the matter.

Y: The hint of blood in the air titillates and enthralls me, on this sacred, hallowed night.

MC: Uh… you alright?

M: Don't worry, she gets quite… excitable, shall we say, when Halloween comes around.

Y: Last year I carved everyone pumpkins!

N: Yeah, that was nice, really well done, you have a real talent with the carving knife. Although I didn't really need 13.

Y: "I am not one for half measures or half-hearted efforts.". Jay Inslee.

M: Who the hell is Jay Inslee?

N: "I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man.". Jay-Z.

Y: You both disappoint me immensely.

Buffy The Vampire Slayori joined. Hide your bananas!

S: TRICK OR TREAT!

M: No, no that's not how trick or treating works.

S: Give me candy or I'll burn your house down.

MC: Jesus, is this normal for you chaps on Discord? Or are you guys just really really intense about the whole Halloween thing?

M: Yes.

MC: God dammit Monika.

S: Oh, by the way, Makoto, I can see you!

I glance out the window, expecting to see her at her window waving. Nope…

"BOO!" she yelled, bursting through my door.

"GOD SAYORI WHY. Oh God, that, that gave me bloody heart palpitations!"

"When you say 'bloody', do you mean literally? You should talk to a doctor if you have internet seedling."

"Internal bleeding."

"Yeah, that."

"No Sayori, I'm not literally bleeding, but God that frightened me. How did you even get in here?"

"Back door. Oh yeah, about that, I was meaning to ask you why that door is missing and the doorframe is charred."

"Long story."

"Oh, I love a good story! We can have storytime, just like back when we were little!"

Twenty minutes later, I've concocted some excuse for how the door was missing without making Monika look like a psycho.

"You're good at telling stories MC! Oh, we should get ready for school!"

We head downstairs, and I immediately notice something.

"Uh, Sayori… where's my TV?"

"Oh yeah, you got robbed! Forgot to mention that!"

"How did you forget to mention that?!"

"Oopsy."

"... Let's just go to school."

Today was Wednesday, but the normal script was completely absent. Nothing about MC being a bit worried as to Sayori, no fighting over who I would work with over the weekend (They decided Yuri needed my help most over Discord, much to Natsuki's disappointment.), and the entire day blurred into one mess of Halloween themed jokes.

"Hey, hey Makoto, wakey wakey."

"Bleh the I was uh, I um, I wasn't awaken't Monika."

"Well said. Now come on, you just skipped past the entire day for the sake of plot progression, the least you can do is be here for the last ten minutes of the club meeting."

"Five more minutes mum..."

"Makoto, first off, this is a dating sim, don't call me mum, I don't want my Universe to become a retelling of the tale of Oedipus. Secondly, Yuri is arguing that stabbing is sex."

"Alright, you have my attention. She's arguing what now?"

I turn to see a deeply confused and disgruntled Natsuki and Yuri in deep discussion.

"Natsuki, it's an act of penetration that aims to change the number of living humans. Bodily fluids are involved, and you can get infections from it. Tell me, in what way isn't stabbing sex?"

"... Every way?"

"Aside from that."

"Well, aside from everything, there's nothing wrong with your theory. Congratulations Yuri, with that minor caveat you've really proven it."

"Thank you."

Sayori, who was clearly very uncomfortable with the conversation, pounced on this opportunity to end it.

"Well with that out of the way, how about we go trick or treating together?"

"It's the one day of the year when it's acceptable to wave knives at children. Pass."

"Dad doesn't take kindly to charity."

"First off, what the Hell Yuri, also Natsuki don't worry I talked to your dad about it and he's fine with it."

"Oh, well in that case, sure! Monika, Makoto?"

"Isn't trick or treating a little childish?"

"I agree. Also, I got robbed, so I don't exactly have much to make a costume with."

"No, sillies! You're never too old for candy! I mean they sure as hell aren't targeting those weird sexy Halloween outfits at kids, so surely some people our age and up are buying."

"... That's a better point than I wanted it to be."

"Oh and Makoto, I can buy you an outfit! I don't want you to miss an experience like Halloween because a woodpecker really liked your door!"

Monika glared at me. "A woodpecker man? Count yourself lucky Sayori bought it.", she whispered.

"So will you guys come?"

I sigh. "When you say it like that, how can I say no? Like literally, how can I say no, I want to do that."

"I guess I'll go too then..."

"Excellent! Makoto, come with me, let's find a Halloween outfit!"

Twenty minutes later.

"Come on man, it's my money, please put it on."

"Sayori for the twenty fourth time-"

"No need for counting among friends!"

"As I was saying, for the twenty fourth time, I'm not going to crossdress for Halloween. And were I to, I certainly wouldn't crossdress as Princess Peach."

"Just be glad I didn't pick out a Bowsette costume."

"Oh God, does that exist?"

"I don't know. But probably, and that that is a believable statement says a lot about humanity."

"... True. But I'm still not wearing it."

"Party pooper. Fine, conform to gender roles then. Sexist pig."

"That's not what this is about."

"Oh, sorry, I forgot that you didn't like to hear women disagreeing with you, especially this far away from the kitchen."

"Sayori please you know damn well that's not why I don't want to dress up as a girl."

"Certainly, master, would you like me to fetch your slippers and newspaper? Maybe I can read the newspaper with you, you can help me with the big words. Your own little 50s paradise."

"... Will you stop this if I wear your stupid costume?"

"Yes."

"Fine then, just please stop making me look like I'm anti-women. We're in public, you know."

"HEY FINE SHOPPERS! I'D LIKE TO STATE THAT THIS MAN RIGHT HERE DOES NOT IN FACT HATE WOMEN! NOSIREE, WERE I TO DESCRIBE HIM IN ONE SENTENCE IT WOULD BE 'DEFINITELY NOT A SEXIST'! LEAST SEXIST GUY I KNOW! REALLY ADVOCATES FOR GENDER EQUALITY, 100%! TOTALLY!"

She then turns around to me.

"That better?"

"... I'm just going to change now."

Once I'm finally in this thing, I leave… to find a note.

Deer Makoto.

I no yu arent a fan of the costum, sew I lepht. Yu onle hav enuf muney 4 this 1. Meat up Yuri's.

Luv, Sayori.

...Well.

Fuck. It turns out she's right… somehow nothing in this store is cheaper than the Peach outfit.

Well, guess I should go to Yuri's house then.

… Wait… where is Yuri's house?

Fifty very long minutes of navigating over Discord and tripping over on Peach's petticoat later.

Whatever Monika endures in Hell, it cannot be more of an atrocity than this horrible, evil, vile and disgusting experience, a practice even masochists would like to avoid…

Oh I'm here. Thank God, this time has made me reconsider whether or not I should kill Sayori. How on Earth do women deal with dresses, this thing is so cumbersome…

Yuri's door is unlocked, so I walk on in. I stand around, taking in the view. It's classy, an amalgamation of replicas of famous art, fine furniture, and pot plants. A staircase leads off upstairs, and I can hear some noise up there. Maybe Yuri is up there? I'll go check.

As I approach, the noise becomes clearer. Sounds like Ed Sheeran's"Shape of You". Except… something is off about it.

I reach the door, and listen in. It seems Yuri is singing… but the lyrics are wrong…

"... And I'd love a slice or two,
Go Merchant of Venice style on you.
And your kidneys, no one really needs two.
Yeah I'm in love with your body.
Putting your hair right through my loom
Lovin' you through morgue and tomb
I'm sure you'll make for a lovely stew.
Yeah I'm in love with your body"

… Well then.

Yuri suddenly became aware of my presence.

"Uhhhh Makoto? Um, ah, eh, h-hi! That w-was, urgggh, that was… practice! I figured it would be a clever bit of dark humour for trick or treating!"

"... Okay then Yuri, I want to believe that so let's move on. But uh… Can I ask what exactly it is you're wearing?"

"Why isn't it obvious? I crafted TX-02 out of polystyrene! Look, I'm a gerrymandered district! I'm a threat to democracy! Isn't that spoooooooky?"

"Not… exactly what most people go with."

"Look, it's just about impossible to find Halloween costumes in my proportions that don't look like BDSM. At least this one doesn't try to play a game of limbo with the neckline."

"You know what, fair enough. So where are Monika, Sayori, and Natsuki?"

"Monika said she had something important to discuss with them, but they should be here any minute. Oh, and if you don't mind, to quote a wise crossdresser, "what exactly is it you're wearing?". I-I'm sorry, that probably came off weird, b-but I would like to know why you're here and if perchance anyone is examining local castles and not finding their princess there."

"Sayori."

"Ah, that would explain it. Oh, I think I can see them from here! If you want to get revenge on Sayori, please keep the blood out of the carpet."

Monika walks in first. She's dressed in a toga, and has a bow and arrow. She's followed by Natsuki, dressed up as some character who is probably from an idol anime. Finally, Sayori nervously comes in, dressed as a cowgirl, dragging Mr Cow behind her with a lasso.

"Hey there, nice costumes my fellow lit individuals."

"Never say that again."

"What's that Natsuki? Do I hear, 'use that as often as possible'? Alright, if you insist… In any case, nice outfits, seriously. I'm going to guess you're a daughter of Artemis, Monika?"

"Yes, nice guess! Can't believe Sayori actually has you dressed up as Princess Peach."

"Honestly, neither can I. So, time to trick or treat?"

"Not just yet. How about we tell spooky stories first?"

Yuri jumped up in excitement, pulled out some candles, lit them, and turned off the real ones.

"I'll take that as a yes then. Yuri, you want to go first?"

"Gather one and all, for today I share with you a tale of great horror and woe.
A tale of misfortune and extortion, of disease and deceased, a societal low.
Where our leaders place reprehensible over representational.
And created a monstrosity which-"

"Yeah no Yuri we don't have time for this."

"I… I have twenty-eight more lines. It all rhymes, and details our modern overt reliance on greedy consumption to maintain our economy with callous disregard for the ecosystem and worker rights."

"Okay not really how horror stories work Yuri, but I'm sure it's good, we just can't rack up that kind of word count. Look, let me tell one. You're dressed up as gerrymandering, so you should like this."

"As someone who thought that corporate greed was a good theme for a Halloween story, I find it very hard to believe you have one about US electoral scenarios."

"I have been granted the mystical power to predict the future… And I can prove it, with the upcoming midterms. The Democrats will win Nevada, lose North Dakota, and come within 3 points but lose in Texas. Oh, and, surprisingly, they'll lose Indiana. They'll end up winning the House and losing the Senate."

We stare at her for a moment.

"... Spoooooooooky…"

Yuri gazed in confusion at her. "Monika we don't know those for several days, for all we know all those predictions are false. This isn't very spooky."

"Yeah actually, how do you know that?"

"Well Makoto, it's very simple. I don't know, these are just educated guesses, but once the midterms actually happen, I can just edit the chapter to make all these guesses correct. Actually, I think I already did..."

"Okay, that's cupid, Monika."

"Stupid."

"Exactly. Now you chaps need to learn how to really become spooktacular. I'll lead the way."

"Sayori, your lexicon isn't what it used to be, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Yep! Now, a retelling of the classic tale of Dr Frankincense."

"Oh boy."

"A mad silentish once Doug up cadlivers to get organise, with witch he sewed toga fur a monster. Frankincense Monster! He was discussing, so discussing that afraid of his own creationism, he flood. Later, Frankincense kilt the silentish's brother!"

"Thirteen errors Sayori. That's impressively bad. In any case, now I think it's time to go trick or treating."

Natsuki glanced sharply towards Monika. "Woah woah, you guys all get to say your rubbish creepy tales and I get nothing? No fair!"

"Having seen how well the other stories went, do you really want to have another story?"

"Fair point. Let's get some candy fellas!"

We walk outside, and waiting there is… a horse.

"What the heck?"

"Daughters of Artemis rode on horseback Makoto. I value realism."

"CAN I RIDE HIM CAN I RIDE HIM PLEASE MONIKA?" Sayori yelled.

"First, I'm pretty sure this horse is female. Don't really want to check, but I think so. Also maybe later. Now though, onwards! For candy!"

We pillaged the town. Mostly for candy. On one or two occasions we did commit arson and steal jewellery. But mostly candy.

"So wait, Yuri, why would ghosts leave ectoplasm on specifically pens?"

"I don't know Sayori, but if any of you guys find you have sticky pens, that'll be why."

"Huh. Interesting. In any case, it's been a lovely day, but now I'm going to try to contract diabetes off our candy. See you tomorrow!"

Authors Note:

I gave myself one day to write this.

Deadlines are the worst.