Chapter 5
Sam
Gabriel had tracked down the nest no problem with his archangelic abilities. One scan with his Grace, and it took less than fifteen minutes with their combined efforts to wipe out the handful of vampires. Now they were back at their motel room, plotting the next move for their Grand Scheme.
Okay, so he knew this was kind of a dick move on their parts. When Gabriel had initially suggested it, Sam had turned it down vehemently, recalling his own experiences with a wince. But after a lot of arguing, and a promise that he wouldn't let them actually get hurt, Gabriel had convinced a reluctant Sam that it was necessary if they wanted their "Epic Plot" to pay off.
And yes, Sam was tired of seeing Dean and Cas dance around each other, especially when it made poor Cas so miserable and Dean so grumpy.
And so, with great reluctance, Sam helped Gabriel put the next phase into action.
"Sam and Gabriel's Epic Plot to Hook Their Brothers Up", Phase Two: Time Loop
Dean
After a long day of interviewing the families of the vic's, and after taking a look at their bodies in the morgue, Dean was ready to go meet up with Sam and Gabriel and see if their search had gone any better. Glancing at the fallen angel by his side as they sat car in the Impala on the way to the motel, Dean felt a concerned frown tugging his lips down.
There was something in Cas' eyes that bothered Dean. Something...not quite broken, but breaking. The former-angel was hurting, and Dean knew it was his fault. But he didn't know what to do about it, damn it. Things had been weird between them for a while now. Their 'profound bond' or whatever was all messed up, and Dean didn't know how to make it better.
But he wanted to. He wanted to fix it, to get his best friend back, because this distance between them left him aching and unsatisfied with their relationship.
So, now all he really needed to know was: what did he have to do to mend their bond and make everything better?
He had no freaking clue. But he'd figure it out. For Cas, he would.
His musings were interrupted by his cell phone ringing. Digging it out of his pocket, Dean tossed it to Cas.
"Answer that, would ya?"
Cas flipped the phone open and pressed it to his ear, waiting for the person on the other end to speak with a stoicism that had Dean chuckling and shaking his head-typical Cas, he thought fondly.
"Hello, Sam," he finally murmured. "No, he's fine-driving. ...not very fruitful. And your search?...I see. Well, that is good, I suppose...yes, of course I will tell him...I'm sure we can grab some food on the way back...yes. We will see you soon." He hung up and handed the phone back to Dean, explaining when he saw the hunter's arched eyebrows, "Sam and Gabriel found the nest and wiped out the vampires. They have requested that we search the house in case of stragglers and then retrieve sustenance and meet them at the motel."
Dean frowned. "Damn, I was looking forward to ganking some sons of bitches," he murmured. Then added hastily at Cas' glower, "I know I know, better this way, less people hurt, yada yada. I just miss hunting my way-Gabriel always gets there first and takes all the fun out of it nowadays." He sighed. "I'm itching to do my own thing again, man. Family business, ya know?"
"You are restless," Cas reflected.
"That's as decent a summary as any, I guess," Dean acknowledged with a shrug. "Anyways. Did Sammy say where the nest was?"
"Just outside the town limits, in a large but seemingly abandoned house."
"Alright, let's go," Dean said, turning baby around and stepping on the gas pedal hard. Cas winced and balled his hands into fists in his lap, and Dean hid his grin. "Relax, angel, you're safe with me," he said without thinking, reaching over to ruffle Cas' hair. The ex-angel glowered and swatted his hand away, but something in his eyes softened at the casual contact. Dean noticed and felt something warm surge in him, and he thought that maybe he was on the right track to fixing things with Cas.
He couldn't stop grinning the rest of the drive.
The nest, of course, had been thoroughly cleaned out. Not a trace of vampires to be found other than a congealed pool of blood Dean managed to step in. Dean carefully removed the shoe and threw it in the trunk of the Impala, not wanting to damage the interior. Cas was watching him with those big blue eyes the whole time, and it had Dean's skin prickling in a familiar way.
When their eyes met over the top of the car before climbing in, something sparked in Dean-attraction, for sure, but something else too. Dean allowed himself to just stare at Cas as long as he damn well pleased, and in those eyes he saw the pain from before, but also confusion and maybe just a bit of hope.
Something inside him reached for Cas. The emptiness he'd been morbidly aware of since their encounter with Famine, aching to be filled, seemed sure that Cas was the solution. And as that something reached for Cas, Dean saw the ex-angel inhale quickly, his eyes widening just a fraction, and something warm brushed against Dean that felt familiar in a vague sort of way, like a dream forgotten upon waking, leaving him shivering.
Dean swallowed and barely got out a hoarse "Cas..." before the angel was walking around the car, and before he could process what was happening there were pale, nimble fingers sliding up his arms, pulling him close as chapped lips brushed against his, and his eyes were full of deep endless blue before they slid closed, his arms coming up to return the embrace and Cas' hand slid over the scar on Dean's upper arm, causing him to groan and oh God, Cas-Castiel was kissing Dean.
Sweet holy mother of fuck, was it good.
He was awkward, to say the least. But Dean didn't care because the warm, thin body that had been slowly gaining muscle over the last month felt so good and so right and Cas was kissing him. Dean gasped raggedly, tangling his fingers in messy, surprisingly soft hair, chuckling quietly when the former angel's lips tried to chase his for another kiss.
Pressing his forehead to the ex-angel's, Dean contented himself with just holding the angel. He opened his eyes almost lazily to find those sapphire irises already seeking his gaze, filled with happiness and love and such sweetness that it made Dean's heart swell and stutter.
"Dean..." He murmured, voice a murmur, almost like a prayer.
"Cas," the hunter replied, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Castiel-my best friend and my guardian angel," he murmured, before leaning down to reclaim Cas' lips with his own.
He closed his eyes and as chapped lips brushed against his own, Dean heard music.
No, not in the metaphorical "I'm so in love, the hills are alive, everything is sunshine and rainbows and happiness" bullshit sense, you romantic dolts.
Literally, he heard music.
"You're the best friend/That I ever had/I've been with you such a long time/You're my sunshine..."
The world faded and for a moment, nothing was real. Dean closed his eyes because he couldn't see anything, couldn't feel Cas anymore and he ached with the loss of contact, and he was disoriented because he didn't know where he was or what was happening. Then everything came into sharp focus, the music fading in his ears as Dean opened his eyes and blinked; he then almost swerved off the road in his shock as he discovered that he was back in town, cruising in the Impala with Cas by his side, and the former angel was on the phone.
What the hell?
"...Yes, of course I will tell him...I'm sure we can grab some food on the way back...yes. We will see you soon." He hung up and handed the phone back to Dean. At a confused glance from the hunter, former angel explained, "Sam and Gabriel found the nest and wiped out the vampires. They have requested that we search the house in case of stragglers and then retrieve sustenance and meet them at the hotel."
Dean's confusion increased tenfold. One minute he was outside the empty nest, kissing Castiel, and then they went back in time half an hour and it's like none of that happened. And the worst part was, the pain-the sadness that had been gone after they had kissed-was once more in Cas' eyes, making Dean swallow and frown.
"Um...right," he muttered, glancing away as his hands tightened on the wheel apprehensively. "So...uh, to the nest, I guess?"
"That would appear to be the best course of action," the ex-angel murmured, and when Dean glanced at him he was staring out the window like he always seemed to do these days. Frowning, Dean stepped on the gas, wondering what the hell was happening.
Unfortunately for Dean, that was only the beginning.
Gabriel
"How long do you think it'll take him to catch on?" the archangel asked, idly tracing out Enochian symbols on Sam's bare chest. The hunter was lightly dozing after some rampant sex, but he stirred a bit at Gabriel's question, propping up on his elbows with a thoughtful expression.
"I dunno. I mean, it is Dean we're talking about. Could be right away or it could take a hundred Wednesdays, or anywhere in between." He shrugged.
"I hope he catches on sooner than you did. But given how long it took the smarter Winchester to figure out what I was doing, I doubt he will."
Flushing slightly at the subtle praise, Sam rolled his eyes. "So remind me again how it works?"
"Simple, Samsquatch. Every time Dean pulls his head out of his ass and kisses his angel, the day resets to your phone conversation with Cas. And it has to be Dean who initiates it, not Cas." Gabriel grinned. "I feel kinda bad for Cassie, though-all those kisses and he won't remember a single one. Still, I'm sure that the result will more than make up for the loss." He smirked and Sam rolled his eyes.
"I still don't fully support this," Sam murmured, laying back against the pillows again with a languid stretch that had Gabriel's honey eyes raking over his body hungrily. Sam shivered and felt warmth pool in him, bursting into full-blown arousal when Gabe rolled on top of him to straddle his hips, lightly teasing his hands down Sam's chest. Sam shivered in response, closing his eyes.
"Sam, trust me, time loops are effective," the archangel murmured, leaning down so that his lips brushed the hunter's collarbone as he spoke. He chuckled as Sam groaned lightly, responding with a gentle nip that had the hunter's breath hitching in his throat.
"Maybe," Sam said in a husky voice that had the archangel hungrily tracing kisses down his chest. "But...um...trouble focusing...they can also be disorienting. I mean..." Sam groaned as Gabe's lips brushed along his hips, effectively severing his train of thought and leaving him achingly hard. His fingers dug into the sheets of the luxurious bed Gabriel had snapped up for them as he looked down, heated hazel eyes meeting hungry honey-gold.
Noticing Sam's predicament, Gabriel grinned wolfishly from the general vicinity of Sam's hips. "Let me take care of that for you, babe," he almost purred.
Sam was utterly gone the moment archangel lips met his skin. He didn't worry about a thing for the rest of the night-he trusted Gabriel to take care of things.
Dean
"You're the best friend/That I ever had/I've been with you such a long time/You're my sunshine..."
"Yes, of course I will tell him...I'm sure we can grab some food on the way back...yes. We will see you soon." He hung up and handed the phone back to Dean. "Sam and Gabriel found the nest and wiped out the vampires. They have requested that we search the house in case of stragglers and then retrieve sustenance and meet them at the hotel."
The second Wednesday, Dean had made it to the diner and was getting food with Cas when he realized that he hated seeing him so sad, and realizing that he could do something about it, had just planted one on him right there, not caring that everyone was staring, not caring that Cas was a sloppy kisser, not caring about anything but making that ache in Cas go away...
"You're the best friend/That I ever had/I've been with you such a long time/You're my sunshine..."
Then they were back in the Impala.
The fourth Wednesday found them at a park because Cas had decided that Sam and Gabriel needed some "quality alone time", which Dean roughly translated as them having wild noisy sex and so it was best to steer clear. So he had a picnic with Cas in the park and it was as cheesy and romantic as expected. And when the sun went down, Dean had lain on the grass and told Cas to join him, so the former angel had lain with Dean and they stared at the stars. After a while Dean slung an arm around Cas' shoulders, and after a small noise of pleasant surprise Cas was shuffling closer to snuggle against his side. Dean had fondly chuckled and pressed a gentle kiss to Cas' forehead.
"You're the best friend/That I ever had/I've been with you such a long time/You're my sunshine..."
Reset again. For a freaking forehead kiss?! Come on, that was barely anything. Dean was pretty pissed about that one.
The seventh Wednesday, they ran into a rogue vampire that Sam and Gabriel must have missed somehow. They managed to take it out with little fuss, but Dean was going to have to trash this shirt because it was now covered in vampire blood. As they were burning the body, Cas had come to stand by Dean and had gently, shyly, taken his hand. Dean had turned to the former angel, and in his eyes there was sadness and fear and longing. Cas had smiled sadly and began to loosen his grip. Dean had shaken his head and, with a sound almost like a growl, grabbed him by the lapels of his trench coat and yanked him close, kissing him heatedly. That was a rougher kiss, all hunger and tongues and teeth, and god had it been hot.
"You're the best friend/That I ever had/I've been with you such a long time/You're my sunshine..."
Dean wanted to scream. How long would this go on?
The eleventh Wednesday was both the best and the worst. Dean had decided he'd had enough, and so instead of driving to the nest, he'd driven out of town, thinking that maybe if he left this would stop. He ignored Cas' questions, didn't listen to his protests or his pleadings, just kept driving until the sun was low in the sky and they were on a lonely stretch of highway. Then, without warning, Dean had pulled over and braked, getting out and walking away, muttering obscenities under his breath.
"Dean! Dean, come back."
He could hear Castiel scrambling after him, calling for him, but Dean didn't pause. Not until a familiar hand caught him by the shoulder, yanking him around. He was faced with blue eyes filled with anger and confusion and so much sadness that Dean was amazed he didn't drown in it. The hunter scowled and yanked away from the touch.
"Dean, what's wrong?" Cas had demanded, pleaded, a hand reaching out towards him, only to drop uselessly to his side when Dean shrank away.
"Nothing." Dean ran a hand over his face, through his hair. "Everything. God, Cas, I just want it to stop," he said raggedly, the words ripped from him unexpectedly.
More confusion. "What?"
"This...whatever is happening! I want it to stop, because I can't take it!" And he was yelling now, which wasn't fair because it wasn't Cas' fault. Dean didn't know what was happening but he knew that much.
"Dean..." And he knew that tone. The "I'm here for you" tone, the one that usually led to heartfelt mushy moments that Dean was so not in the mood for. So he lashed out instead, before Cas could say another word.
"No! Enough, Cas. I can't do this," he almost snarled.
"Do what?"
"This...whatever this is!" Dean snapped, waving a hand between them vaguely. Hurt filled Cas' eyes now and Dean felt like he'd just kicked a puppy. He looked away. "I just...I can't, Cas." And instead of sounding defeated or resigned as Dean expected, instead of the more typical "Very well", Cas' tone filled with anger. He sounded so pissed that he probably would've smited Dean if he'd still had the mojo.
"Why? What exactly is so wrong with the idea of being with me, Dean?" he demanded. His hand grabbed Dean's chin and forced him to look up into those dazzling, fiery blue depths. He couldn't look away and he found he couldn't speak around the lump in his throat. And despite the anger, there were tears building in those blue eyes now, to Dean's horror. Cas was crying because of him. "Answer me, Dean. I have a right to know," he demanded, begged. Dean closed his eyes, exhaling raggedly.
"You deserve better, Cas," he muttered. And there it was. Dean was this broken, stained, burned-out husk. He was as bad as any demon he killed and Cas knew all his faults. And Cas...Cas was this powerful, amazing being. He was a freaking angel, for god's sake! A fallen one, but still-he was purer than anything Dean had ever encountered. He didn't deserve to be tainted by the toxin that was Dean Winchester. "I'll only drag you down with me."
"Bullshit." Dean's eyes snapped open at the profanity falling from Cas' lips, incredulous. "I know your soul, Dean Winchester, and it is the brightest I have ever encountered. You are the Righteous Man, and you are...you're amazing. When I raised you from Perdition, your soul shone like a beacon and it was beautiful. Nothing could ever be better than you, Dean. And...I don't want anyone else," he finished with a softer tone, and now his eyes were just begging Dean.
He was not crying, damn it. His eyes were just blurry because he was tired.
"Cas..." He'd barely been able to whisper it, and then he was in the ex-angel's embrace, thin fingers stroking his hair. His face was pressed against Cas' shoulder and he turned so his nose brushed against the curve of his neck, closing his eyes and inhaling the scent of petrichor and ozone and Cas. Another ragged exhale as his arms encircled Cas to pull him closer, and then their foreheads were pressed together and they matched each other-pain for pain, sadness for sadness, love for love, they met and mixed and healed each other as their lips sought each other, brushing together in the tenderest of gestures and Dean's heart broke, a hairline fracture that left it ragged and bleeding, hemorrhaging all the shame and guilt and self-loathing that he usually repressed to rip through him in a tempestuous tumult that left him reeling and vulnerable. The wound had a sort of freshness to it, though, like something left to fester being purified. He had a feeling that it would heal better than it had before.
"You're the best friend/That I ever had/I've been with you such a long time/You're my sunshine..."
God fucking damn it, Dean thought as he listened to Cas talking to Sam once more. An aching in his chest had him glaring out the window, not listening to a word, too lost in reminiscing about what was, what might have been, and what still could be. If only he could put an end to this.
It was on the seventeenth Wednesday that Dean decided to finally speak up about his predicament. The instant Cas hung up his phone, Dean jumped in.
"Yeah yeah, nest taken care of, check it out, get food, I know," he said, waving a hand dismissively. Cas arched an eyebrow at him and opened his mouth but Dean kept going. "I have a problem, Cas."
"...what is the matter, Dean?"
"I think I'm stuck in a time loop."
"A what now?" Dean glanced over into confused blue eyes that had a knot twisting in his chest. Grimacing, Dean focused on the road. Focus. Don't do anything that will make this reset again.
"Time loop. This day keeps happening, over and over again, and I'm the only one who seems to be aware of it," he explained.
"Ah. I see. I suggest you talk to Gabriel-it is probably something he designed to mess with you in some way," Cas murmured, looking out the window with his hands folded neatly in his lap.
Dean blinked, and then was overcome by the overwhelming desire to sink his fist into Gabriel's face. Which would hurt like hell, but still be immensely satisfying. Dean scowled, a blush creeping up his neck as he realized their brothers were fucking meddling.
"He is so dead," Dean growled. "We're going to go find our brothers, and then Gabriel is going to end this or I will deep fry his wings with holy oil, extra crispy."
As they sped towards the motel at speeds that had Cas cringing and closing his eyes apprehensively, Dean couldn't help but reflect that-after this was over-he would kind of miss kissing Cas.
[A/N: GUYS OH MY GOD MISHA EMAILED ME NO JOKE FJSKFJSLDFJSALK THERE'S THIS WEBSITE THAT TRACKS IF HE'S IN AMERICA AND YOU CAN SIGN UP TO GET EMAILS FROM HIM AND I DID AND HE ACTUALLY DID IT HE EMAILED ME OH MY GOD I FEEL SO ACKNOWLEDGED AND IMPORTANT AFJSKDFLJSDLF.]
[Okay, so now that my fangirl freak-out is over! Special shout-out to users Laura Messer for her review of the last chapter, and to JustAnother-C-Reaper and miXiZ for their reviews on my other story, Ghost. That story is finished, if you feel like checking it out. It's shorter than this one and I would appreciate more feedback on it. And on this one too, hint hint. I know more people follow this than are reviewing and I would love to get some feedback in the form of reviews, guys.]
[ALSO I SAW JURASSIC WORLD AND IT WAS AMAZING, GUYS. Anyways, that's all. As incentive for more reviews, the first two people to do so will get to decide what I write next-they can give me any SPN prompt and I'll write a story based on it. First two people who review will get a PM from me and can send me their prompt that way, and I will do my best to get that story up promptly. So...REVIEW PLEASE.]
-Makky