A/N: Addiction is a tricky and serious subject. Kyle's drug addiction was a tricky and troubling subject, so that's why this chapter took so long to write. This is the same night as the last chapter. Enjoy! xx Mariah
That night he woke up with a start, his shirt clung to him with sweat.
The pain wasn't sharp like a needle point or a knife, it burned around his knee more than boiling water. Everything felt scolded and, move or not, he was in more pain than when he first injured it.
A bullet would be a mercy right now.
Riley's hands were on his chest pulling his shirt off and she was whispering words he couldn't hear. She was so beautiful, the moonlight framed her face as she called out to him, her hair fell over her shoulders in curls like it always had. He rose his hand to cup her cheek, rubbing her cheek with his thumb.
"Kyle," she said and shook him, breaking his fog. "Breathe," she whispered and touched his knee softly, rubbing in soft circles. "Just breathe. I'll get you a cold compress and give you a massage."
"No." He groaned. "Just go back to bed Riley. I've got this."
The pain was increasing in waves, the small lulls gave false hope of an end.
"Let me help," she said softly. "I'm your wife, please Kyle just let me help."
"No. I've got this," he winced.
He went to stand up and a peak of a wave robbed his ability to walk, sending him crashing to the hardwood. It was as though his blood had became acid, intent of destroying him from the inside out.
"Kyle? Babe?" She ran to his side.
"Get off of me!" He pushed her away and stood up on his own.
"I just wanted to help! God forbid you ask for it," she yelled and walked toward the bathroom.
He pushed himself out into the hallway and limped into the kitchen. After rummaging through a drawer he found his pill bottle empty he threw it against the wall.
He was out. He needed them to function, to work properly.
"Kyle! The kids..." She walked out to find him punching the countertop until his knuckles were bloodied. "They can hear you."
"What do you want now Riley?" He screamed and ran over to her, shoving her her into the wall. "You gonna yell at me some more? Come on babe, give me your best shot."
"I want you to tell me what you need Kyle! Your knee is in pain, but you won't let me help you! You never do." She yelled and looked up at him, struggling against his grip. "I am your wife, let me in Kyle! I am here to do these things, to help you. Why won't you let me all the way in?"
"I don't want your help. I can help myself!" He yelled and pushed against the wall again.
"Everyone needs help sometimes," she whispered and grabbed his forearm. "Let me help you Kyle. What do you need? Please baby just let me in."
"Maybe what I need is to be left alone." He muttered. "To be alone. To be single. Maybe I never loved you."
"You're in pain, you never say what you mean when you're in pain." She whispered. "I love you, God, I love you so much Kyle." He released her and walked away. "Where are you going?" She followed him as he grabbed his jacket, her voice breaking. "Kyle?"
"I am goin' to get away from you," he gripped the doorknob and winced as his knee pulsed.
"Daddy? Daddy where are you going?" Katie's little voice echoed in the hallway.
They turned around to see her and Riley looked back at him. For a second he thought he could survive without them, without the pills, but he couldn't do it.
He needed them to take him away, to make everything numb and better. His life would never be what he wanted it to be. He wanted to be the man his wife deserved, the father his children deserved and for everything to just be okay again.
He didn't want to worry about money, or his college debt, or his knee.
He needed the pills more than he needed to be here. More than he wanted to be here. And with a slam of the door, he left.
"Mama? Are you okay?" Katie asked as she went to the door and opened it as he drove off in his truck. "Mama are you crying?"
"Oh no, Katie. I'm fine," she closed the door and knelt down to her daughter. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry you had to hear that."
"Will daddy be okay?" Katie asked.
"He will," she reassured her. "Now let's get you to bed, sweet pea."
"Can I sleep with you?" Katie asked as they stood outside their bedroom.
"You know what, you can." She said kissing her forehead. "I'm going to check on your brother. Go get into my bed."
Katie ran off and the squeak of her bed could be heard. She smiled and walked swiftly over to Travis' bed. Her fingers graced through his hair as she kneeled down to kiss his forehead.
That's when she saw his tears, his shoulders shaking softly.
"Oh baby? What's wrong?" She whispered.
"I hate when daddy yells," Travis whimpered. "I hate it even more when he yells at you mama. Doesn't he know he hurts you?"
"Oh baby. Daddy... daddy doesn't mean what he says when he's angry." She ruffled his hair playfully. "His knee was hurtin' baby. You were there when daddy was hurt, remember?"
"At his football game?" Travis said.
"Yes, it still hurts from time to time." She explained. "And when daddy is in pain, he says things he doesn't mean. Okay?"
"But that doesn't mean he can hurt you," Travis whispered.
"I know." She answered. "You're my protector, but you know that right?" He smiled and hugged his mother tightly, proud of his role to protect her heart. "Come on buddy," she said picking him up. "You and your sister are gonna sleep with me."
"What about daddy?" Travis asked.
"Daddy... umm your daddy he went out for a little bit." She said quietly. "He'll be back by the time you go to school in the morning."
"You promise?" Travis whispered as she laid him down on the bed.
She didn't know what to say.
She didn't know when Kyle will be back. He could never come back for all she knew, but she couldn't worry her little boy.
"I promise," she said and winked at him before crawling in the middle of her two kids.
Katie sleepily snuggled into her mother's side and Travis faced her, closing his eyes and quickly falling asleep. Katie talked in her sleep, whispering about mama and daddy fighting.
She held back her tears and pressed a kiss to her little girl's forehead.
Everything would be okay, at least she hoped to God it would be.
It was barely long before he came back, closing the door behind him. He didn't find what he wanted, but got peace and quiet. His hands shook as he limped into the house.
"Daddy? Where were you?" Travis asked walking out into the living room. "Mommy has been crying since you left."
"Go to your room Travis." Kyle answered. "You have school in the morning."
His head pounded as he stammered over to the couch and laid down.
"Daddy, mommy said your knee is hurting again." Travis scurried to his father's side and touched his knee. "Like when you hurt it the first time when I was little."
"Travis, not now." He muttered. "Go to bed son."
His right leg shook in anticipation. He needed to get his fix, fast.
He clenched his fists until his knuckled were white and sweat beads down his forehead. He felt like his heart was beating fast, almost like when he would be underwater without air for too long. His throat clenched and he groaned.
What he needed was Riley, but he'd never say it. He needed to be a man as his dad would've tell him. He needed to take care of himself, not to rely on anyone but himself, but, God, did he want to just go in and kiss his wife, to rock her world until he didn't feel so damn bad anymore. Until what he'd done to her last night was forgiven.
"Daddy please go say sorry. Stop yelling, for me daddy." Travis begged. "Please stop yelling daddy."
He looked at his son, and touched his face and ruffled his hair. "I'll try." He muttered. "Go to your room. I need to be alone."
"I love you daddy." Travis said and hugged him.
"I love you too, son." He whispered. "Now go."
He sounded like his father, his jackass drunk of a father who didn't give a shit about him, but he cared about Travis, about Katie.
About Riley.
Unlike his father ever did about him, Evan or his mom. God bless her soul. He wasn't a godly person, but when it comes down to his mother and he memory. He would talk about her in the way she'd want him to, in the way she'd raised him to.
His mother would've screamed his head off if she saw the way he treated Riley. She only wanted to help him. She was his wife after all. The guilt sat not on his chest, but inside his brain.
What he had done he could not un-do. He could not take back that he'd pushed her away, that he yelled at her, that he shoved her into a wall and screamed at her. That he broke the promise he always thought he'd keep.
He walked out. He left. He'd told himself he'd stop doing that after leaving Riley in labor with Katie. He'd promised her, for God's sake he'd promised himself that he'd never close the door on him.
But what he could do was make amends in subtle ways. He didn't deserve the love of Riley Ann Campbell, she deserved a man who wouldn't walk out on her when his knee hurt, a man who wouldn't shove her into the wall and scream at her. She deserves better than he could ever get her.
He pulled himself up, his knee throbbed and he winced. He slowly shuffled toward their room, his arm reached out and grabbed the door frame.
Search the bathroom. You could find something in there. Something numb it all.
He shook his head of those thoughts. He couldn't. He needed to be a better man for Travis and Katie.
For Riley.
The room was dark, warm, but not stifling. Outside, the world was quiet except for the chorus of crickets. The moon shined through the curtains illuminating Riley's face and Katie's little one all scrunched up in her mother's side.
He didn't want to wake her up, but he needed to know that she was in there, sound asleep and safe where he knew she'd be. She's curled on her side, Katie against her, her dark curls fanned out everywhere just like her mother. He walked over to her and knelt down by her face to kiss her.
Now he just needed to move Katie without waking her. That should be easy enough, she was a heavy sleeper like me, unlike her mother.
So he truly needed to worry about waking Riley up, and waking Riley up meant he'd be in the dog house, and that
was a place he didn't like to be even if he was there more times than not.
He carefully picked his daughter up and brought her to her own bed, pressing a kiss to her forehead and tucking her in. After that, he went to check on Travis who was sound asleep in his bed again. He limped back to their room and got himself onto the bed.
"Are they sleeping?" Riley asked sleepily.
"Yes," he answered.
"Don't ever do that again. You promised you'd never walk out again, not after Katie." Riley sighed and rolled to face away. "How's your knee?"
"It's not doing any better Riley." He winced as he tried to stretch it.
"Maybe I can help... I know what always used to make your knee pains go away." She whispered.
"I don't deserve your help Riley. Not after the way I treated you," he tried to sound stern, with just a hint of disappointment sneaking in.
He wanted her, God he really does, but he couldn't. She wouldn't, and he shouldn't.
"Lay down," she whispered.
He settled down against his pillow and she straddled him.
"Riley," he groaned as she leaned down to kiss him.
She resumed her position afterward and his eyes raked hungrily over her body, making he feel like the sexiest woman he's ever laid eyes on, and she was. She stood frozen and he slowly caressed her. A shiver that has nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with the man in front of her, cascaded down her spine, leaving her trembling in its wake.
Her sigh was long and loud as her hands find their way around Kyle's neck. Her fingers buried themselves deep in his thick black waves as his lips blazed a trail of hot kisses along her neck and across her exposed collarbone to the edge of her soft cotton nightgown.
He used his nose to nudge the fabric along her shoulder until it slid down to bunch around her bent elbow then repeated the action on the other side. The tops of Riley's breasts peeked out from the now open neckline, surging upward with every breath she took.
Her head lolled back as Kyle kissed each plump mound before hooking his thumbs in the opening and pulling the top of the nightgown down, exposing her glowing skin to his devouring gaze. Her arms are effectively trapped at her sides by the cap sleeves that were now around her forearms.
He watched as the cool air from the air condition caused her nipples to pebble. He took her flesh in his hands, cradling them in his palms as his thumbs caressed the sensitive nub at the center.
"Oh God, yes!" She hissed at the sensation of his rough thumb slowly circling her soft skin.
With a knowing chuckle, he leaned forward to capture one between his teeth and tugs sharply, causing her to cry out from the mix of pleasure and pain that rocketed through her body. He continued to worry one, then the other, alternating his fingers and teeth until she began bucking her hips, trying in vain to relieve the tension mounting between her legs.
"Kyle, please," she begged as he continued his assault on her senses. "I need more."
At those three little words, he tugged the nightgown the rest of the way down, letting it fall to the floor.
"As you wish, my sweet and lovely wife." He whispered.
He kissed her stomach, and she momentarily panicked. She knew it was rounder after carrying their two children, even though he'd told her time and again that she was more beautiful to him now for that very reason. Any worries she may have had are quickly dissolved by the feel of his hands slowly sliding her white lace thong down her thighs to join the nightgown on the floor.
He rolled her beneath him and winced as his knee stiffens. "I'm fine," he muttered.
"Kyle this was supposed to be about you," she sighed.
"You deserve this more than I ever will," he whispered and kissed her.
"Your knee," she whispered.
Riley's reply stuck in her throat at the first touch of Kyle's tongue along her folds. His strong arms wrapped around her thighs and he threw them over his shoulders. With his hands now free, he used them to hold open her folds, giving him better access to the greedy bundle of nerves hidden within.
She practically jumped off the bed when his lips wrapped themselves around the little bud and suckled until she was purring like a kitten. His thick fingers found their way deep inside of her, curling in a 'come hither' gesture that sent intense waves of pleasure spiraling out from her belly to her fingers and toes. She locked her ankles behind his head and used the leverage to thrust against his tongue.
Her hands slid up her body to her breasts, and he watched as she squeezed her own nipples. Her body tensed as her back arched off of the bed and her mouth opened in a silent scream of pleasure as her walls contracted around his talented fingers.
With lightning speed he stripped off the rest of his clothes and gathered a boneless Riley in his arms. He laid her out along the flowered purple and black duvet as gently as if she were a doll made of the finest porcelain.
"I'm going to fuck you so hard right now." His words stoked the cooling embers of her desire, causing the flames to rise anew.
"Yes, please." She stroked her hand along his jaw, drawing him closer so she could plunder his mouth with her tongue.
He nestled himself between her legs and rubbed himself along her dripping folds, eliciting sighs from Riley as she spread her legs wider to give him better access. With a tilt of her hips he was able to sheath himself in her waiting warmth, both of them groaning in relief at finally being joined as one.
They shared a moment, looking deep into each other's eyes, before Kyle began to move. He went slowly at first to allow her to accommodate fully to him. They enjoyed the exquisite climb to their peaks, trying to prolong their coupling as much as possible.
"Riley," he panted as his muscles trembled with the effort to keep from pounding into her.
"Yes," she gasped, biting at his shoulder. "Give it to me."
He needed no other encouragement to do just that. He hooked her knee over his arm to widen her even further, then proceeded to slam his hips into hers at a frantic pace, causing her breasts to bounce with each thrust. Her hand snaked down her body to where they were joined and Kyle watched, mesmerized, as Riley rubbed tight circles around her center.
The added stimulation was all she needed for the coil winding through her body to snap into a thousand pieces and she came with a high keening moan as her walls fluttered madly around him. The aftershocks of her orgasm squeezed him tight and his thrusts became erratic until he exploded deep inside of her with a grunt. He continued to move as her walls milk him of every last drop.
He fell on the bed beside Riley, her name fell like a prayer from his lips, and pulled her snug to his chest. She curled into his sweaty, sated body already fast on her way to a satisfied sleep when she felt him press a soft kiss to her temple.
The last thing Riley heard as she succumbed to slumber's sweet siren call was Kyle's voice.
"We'll make it through this," he whispered and kissed her forehead again. "Or at least I hope we will."