AN: Hellooo everyone! Here we go again! Ok, so last night's episode (spoilers for ep on date 1/2/2019) was reallyyyyy good in my opinion. We got Clay sad and distressed, we got Papa Ray being all "talk to me brother", We got Jason all protective over his kids, we got Sonny and Davis all OVER the place! What more can we ask for? I hope it continues like this! As for this story, I know in the past I've said that I'm going to keep Stella and Clay together but I'm not sure, as of right now in this story they are still together but rocky. I'm going to try to provide some clarity on their situation throughout this chapter and maybe give some flashbacks with them too! Also, I'm aware that I've been messing up the officer rankings. Of course, portraying these characters and these real-life positions with the absolute most respect that they deserve is important to me. However, I am human and have made a few errors with the rankings. I apologize and I'm going to work hard to keep Jason as Master Chief and Blackburn as Lieutenant Commander. If anyone knows the proper title for the other team guys, please let me know! I hope ya'll enjoy and hopefully I can get this chapter up before next week's ep. If not… the end AN will include my thoughts on next weeks ep! Review and share your thoughts!
Ray strode up through the hospital corridor. His legs stopped as he spotted the youngest member of their team. He was now unattached to his IV that he had been sporting earlier in the night. "What time is it anyway?" Ray wondered to himself.
Clay had turned a chair around to be able to look in through the small window of Sonny's room, he was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, the hood up and his arms crossed over his chest tightly. He looked wound up and defeated at the same time. Ray forced himself forward again, taking in the dark circles under Clay's eyes, the way his leg bounced anxiously, and the desperation in his eyes as he looked up at Ray. His approach was obviously not all that welcomed. Ray knew the kid was only pushing him and everyone else away as a coping mechanism. He didn't think he deserved help, or that he needed help. Both were wildly untrue.
Ray stood there a moment just letting Clay look at him. Neither of them broke eye contact or the silence.
"What is it Ray? Here for another pep talk?" The sharpness in Clay's tone kind of ticked Ray off. He had just hauled this kid to the hospital a few hours ago, had been nothing but understanding.
"I brought you a muffin from the hall. A cup of coffee too. You look like shit." Ray kept his voice as neutral as he could but as he spoke, he could hear himself that he sounded angry and annoyed.
Clay nodded, "I'm not hungry." Clay glared at Ray from under the hood of his sweatshirt.
"Fine." Ray was short and now visibly angry, "I try man, I tried earlier, I tried again now, I've tried and tried to help. If you don't want it then fine."
Clay snickered, "I don't need help, man. I'm fine." Everything about him screamed, "I'm not fine, I need help, please, someone help me." Even still, the man before Ray sat there denying anything was wrong, he needed no help, needed no support. You could lead a horse to water but can't make them drink.
Ray tossed the muffin at Clay, letting it bounce around his lap before Clay moved to grab it and put it silently on the table next to him where Ray had more gently put the cup of coffee.
"Yeah, you sure seem fine." Ray turned to walk away and into Sonny's room, wanting to relieve Jason for a few hours so he could get some solid sleep, food, and a shower. More than anything he wanted away from Clay at this point. He loved the kid and would do anything for his brother but, right now he needed a break.
"Eat the damn muffin. It's that sugary crap you love. Eat the damn muffin." Ray yelled over his shoulder as he opened the door to Sonny's room, closing it softly behind him.
Jason woke at the sound of the door closing. His eyes roamed Sonny first, taking in his sleeping figure. Good, still doing alright, Jason silently checked it off in his head. Still breathing, not writhing in pain, still pumping blood through his veins. All was in order. Jason then turned to Ray, standing and stretching.
"How's he doing?" Ray motioned to Sonny before offering his other muffin to Jason. Unlike Clay, Jason quickly grabbed the muffin, tearing open the tin and taking a huge bite. He muttered words of thanks.
"He's hangin in there. He's been a little restless and every time he wakes up, he says he's nauseous as hell. Hasn't gotten sick yet though so that's good. Trent say's it's pretty normal with how high his fever was and the type of meds they have him on. He's been sleeping well for about an hour now. I think he has a nurse check in like an hour. Hell, what time is it?" Jason pulled his sleeve up looking at his watch, "0435, yeah they're coming at 0500." The two men were silent for a moment, just taking in the whole night.
"What an op man." Jason spit the words out into the space between them and let them hang there.
"A hell of an op. All for a few recon scouting points." They both stayed silent for a moment.
"Jace, the kid's not doing well. He's talkin outta line, he's exhausted, he's hardly eating, he's killin himself with guilt and I don't think he and Stella are doing well at all right now. That only makes matters worse." Jason sighed deeply and leaned back in the plastic causing it to crack under his weight slightly. Ray watched as Jason then leaned forward, taking another bite of his muffin and running a hand through his hair.
"I know Ray. I just, I hardly know what to say to him. I'm not sure how much I can help him. Of course, I'll try I just, I can't fix his relationship and I can't make him stop blaming himself." Jason paused, "It's not my fault that he feels responsible that Sonny could never be a tier 1 operator again. That's not on him but there's nothing any of us can do to convince him otherwise."
Sonny groaned and opened his eyes, "Clay blames himself?" His voice was incredibly hoarse from sleeping and the anesthesia and drugs still in his system.
"Nah, don't worry about that man. I didn't realize you were waking up." Jason tried to change the subject, not let him dwell on Clay. The last thing Sonny needed to think about was Clay and his emotional health.
"Why, why does he blame himself? Ya'll can't, can't keep me in the dark." Sonny reached for the glass of water on the desk next to his bed, his hand shaking the whole time. Both men let him struggle, trying to regain some of his dignity. He could grab a damn cup of water himself. He brought it up to his mouth, the straw finding his mouth before sucking in two giant gulps.
"Slow down. Small sips, remember?" Ray's voice stopped his aggressive intake of the water. Sonny moved to put the cup back on the table but was already fatigued. His frustration was showing as Jason moved to help him.
"I got it! Damn it! I don't need ya'lls help." Although he couldn't really raise his voice, they could hear the anger in it. It wasn't anger towards them necessarily, and they both knew it. He was frustrated at his weakness and his incapability at the moment.
"Someone tell me what the hell is up with boy wonder." His voice wasn't angry anymore, in fact he seemed exhausted. They both knew he was.
With a small sigh of defeat Jason started talking, "He blames himself. He thinks that it's all on him since you covered him. He feels responsible." Jason hoped Sonny would accept that as the short answer and leave it alone, but he kept pushing.
"That's a choice I made. He'd recognize that." Sonny, even with the drugs in his system and the hardened exterior that gave the impression to everyone around him that he couldn't give a shit about what you're feeling, he was incredibly perceptive.
"Brother, he held your artery in his hand trying to keep you from bleeding out. He could feel you fading after you saved his life. It's been tough on him thinking about all of that. Traumatic shit. He feels responsible for whatever the outcome of this is. He'll always feel like he could've done more. Could've saved you more. Not to mention he doesn't have his head on straight because he and Stella are on the fritz." Ray had taken over the little explanation on the fall of Clay Spencer.
"He and Stel having problems? I knew they were a little rocky before he left." Jason nodded, "It's been a lot for the kid." Although Jace wanted nothing more than to move on and stop talking about the kid for Sonny's sake, he knew he couldn't. "Don't worry man, we'll get him good and straight. He'll be ok." Jason wasn't overly reassuring because he knew that Sonny would detect the bullshit from a mile away. In all honesty, Jason had never seen Clay look like this before. The kid looked like a disaster. He tried telling himself that it would be better once they got home. Everything would be ok once the plane took off and landed back in the U S of A. That would fix him. Right?
There was a light knock on the door, "Hi, I'm Nicole. I'm the nurse this morning. I'm here for your morning rounds ok?" Sonny's eyes perked up, not at Nicole, who was indeed very pretty, but at Davis walking in behind her.
Ray and Jason both shook her hand. "I'm going to go check on Spenc, give you some space. It was nice meeting you Nicole, you let me know if the ol southern bell starts giving you hell." Jasoan said with a chuckle and a finger point at Sonny.
"Me? Nothin but a. gentleman." Sonny attempted to keep his tone light and funny but choked over the words. Nicole came closer to his bed reminding him to breathe easy.
"Do you want some privacy, or can your friends stay?" Nicole seemed sweet as she quickly wrote down all of his vitals and stats from his various monitors. Davis had taken a seat in the chair on Sonny's left side and Ray was standing, arms crossed over his chest, at the end of Sonny's bed. He could practically see the energy that was draining from Sonny's face over the past few minutes of their conversation. There was a light sweat that had broken out across his forehead. None of this was missed by Davis either.
"No, it's, it's alright. They can stay." Sonny's voice was quieter and more hoarse again, "How're ya miss Davis?" His head turned to her as the nurse lifted up Sonny's gown and changed the dressing on his stomach lacerations.
"I'm good. How is the world's most obnoxious patient?" She smiled at him, her eyes lit up and warmed his heart in the process. He grimaced as Nicole poked at him.
"Sorry, just have to check these incisions." She sounded genuinely sorry for hurting him as he grimaced again and grunted in pain. He turned back to Lisa.
"Distract me." He practically grounded out the words. She nodded, grabbing at his hand.
"Brock had Cerberus all worked up this morning. She has hardly been worked at all the past couple days, so he took her out for a light work session this morning. You should've seen her she-" Davis was cut off by Sonny's sudden burst of expletives.
"Shit, Shit, Damn it! Christ that hurts!" Sonny balled up a fist in the sheet of his bed. Ray was now on the other side of Sonny.
"I'm done now. I'm done. I shouldn't have to debride your surgery incisions from your leg for a few more hours. We're just trying to continue to monitor the infection carefully. Try to take deep breathes." Sonny nodded but in his head was trying to breathe through the pain and the nausea ripping through his body.
"Dizzy." It was all he could manage to say as he lay there, practically clawing at the bed. He opened his eyes, which had been screwed shut to see Davis's nervous face. She was still holding his hand and rubbing his shoulder with the other one. The comfort was nice, but he could feel the bile coming and wanted none of these young women to see him lose his meals.
"Ya'll should g,go. Please." The way he said please, as if he was begging her to go, practically brought tears to her eyes.
"I'm here Sonny. It's alright. I can stay." Davis was trying to be loyal, respectful but also sticking by his side even if he was about to not look so good.
"Go please. Leave." Sonny let go of her hand. "Ray." Just his name was all it took for Ray to understand. He wanted everyone else out. He wanted the hot nurse and the girl of his dreams that he couldn't have, out of this hospital room.
"I'm gonna be sick." His words all slurred together in a sentence of misery as he groped his stomach weakly with hands. Ray had grabbed the basin off his bedside drawer and helped to lean him forward. Lisa still had not moved from her spot.
"I can go if you want privacy. Just hit the nurse call button if you need anything, seriously. I'll be right down the hall." Nicole seemed to get the message loud and clear. Big strong team guy didn't want anyone who didn't need to see him throw his guts up. If it were up to him, he'd probably be in here by himself but hell, he'd probably keel over off the bed.
"Ma'am, maybe you should join me." Nicole tried gently to help Sonny out. "No, thank you. I'll stay." Sonny's hurling interrupting her words. Nicole hesitated but then silently left the room.
"Shit, I'm s,sorry Ra,ray." His voice was shaky as he tried to speak through the small rest of his stomach.
"No worries man. No worries." The heaving started up again, this time nothing was coming up but that didn't make it any less painful. Sonny alternated between gasping for air and cursing through the pain.
"Davis. Get. Out." His words were cut off by him beginning to gag again, his body revolting from the fever and meds. Ray looked from his brother who so desperately did not want to have Lisa seeing him like this, to Davis who just wanted to help him in way she could. In her eyes he didn't look like the shell of a man I'm sure he felt like at the time. She didn't see the sweat or the shaking or the way Ray's shoulder was practically holding him up while also holding the basin because his own body was too weak and confused. She only saw a man that she knew she couldn't allow herself to fall in love with. She was a little afraid she was too late.
Ray looked up at her, "Davis, I'll get you in a bit. Go." He nodded towards the door. "I got him. Let Trent know he's not feelin great. We're good." Davis hesitated but then got up, giving Sonny one last squeeze before leaving them alone. Sonny seemed to be done for a moment and Ray offered him the cup of water from his table.
"You good bro?" Ray knew the answer should be hell no, but he had to ask anyway.
"Feel like shit man." The fact that Sonny was actually admitting it was all he needed to hear to know that he was in bad shape. Ray emptied the basin while he could, having a feeling that Sonny's body was not done with its episode.
Ray placed a brotherly hand on top of Sonny's head, carefully combing through his hair. In any other situation Ray would've been endlessly harassed for such a gesture. Right now, though, it was all Sonny could focus on as his body trembled with pain and discomfort.
The door to Sonny's room opened quietly and Trent pushed his long hair back as he walked in. He looked a hell of a lot better than he had a few hours ago. He must have actually slept and showered. It's amazing what sleep can do for a guy after he collapses from blood loss.
Sonny hardly looked up as his head hung, his mouth hanging open over the basin. He was trying his best to breathe through the nausea again, but he could feel it building back up. Ray was still using a hand to help hold Sonny up, knowing damn well even if he had the strength to hold himself up it'd hurt like hell. He looked up to Trent, nodding to him with a look on his face that said it all, "Help the poor guy."
"Hear ya not feeling too hot Quinn." Trent pulled on a pair of gloves, "Kickin that nurses out. Ya know they're here to help ya idiot." Trent's ribs were light hearted.
"They d,don't need t,to see that." Sonny's breaths caught in his throat like a strangulation victim. Trent couldn't say he agreed with the man, but he understood his need to regain some dignity, some control over the situation.
"Well, lucky for you, I have privileges to treat you in this hospital and now that I'm off my pain medications I can help ya out." Trent was on the side opposite of Ray and motioned to Ray to help set him back against the bed.
"Move your hand bro. I gotta see." Sonny clumsily moved his fingers from their home on his torso, covering and protecting as much as they could the stiches and wound on his stomach. Blood had seeped through the gown Sonny was angrily wearing.
"Damn, you blew your stitches with all the hurling. Nice going." Trent's sarcasm pulled a smile from Ray and should've pulled one from Sonny but all he grumbled out was a weak, "Sorry." Trent and Ray exchanged a look.
"I'm only messing with ya bro." Trent reassured him as he pulled the gown up preparing to examine the wound when Sonny leaned forward again, spitting and sputtering as his stomach brought up acid and water. It was all he had left. His eyes looked fearfully at the blood that was coming at a more rapid pace from the wound on his stomach. Each breath was getting more and more like gasps.
"Deep breaths Sonny. Nice and easy, breathe through it. You gotta breath." It seemed like he was heaving so hard he could hardly get a breath in before the next wave of nausea would hit. Ray looked to Trent, "How can I help?" Trent's hands were busy holding light pressure on the stomach wound of Sonny's. It wasn't as if he was going to bleed out, but he certainly didn't need much more blood loss. Not to mention it seemed to be seriously freaking Sonny out.
"Just keep him upright, he's gotta ride this out. The anti-nausea medicine I gave him should be kicking in soon. Just hang tight Sonny." There wasn't a response from Sonny, but they knew he was with em.
After a few minutes Sonny finally seemed to be done hurling his guts up. His breathing was still coming in short gasps. Ray continued to hold onto his shoulder, although now he was leaning back against the bed so although it was not needed, Sonny felt better having someone hangin onto him.
"You keep trying to slow that breathing down Sonny. I'm going to start numbing your stomach area to stitch you back up ok? You just breathe. In and out." Trent didn't love having to coach someone through breathing, but he would if he had to. It seemed like today he'd have to.
Trent continued to numb the area around Sonny's stomach, purposefully taking his time. He was trying to give him a few minutes to get his bearings again before he started stitching him up. Trent looked up at Ray and the tired look he wore on his face. He was helping Sonny get a small sip of water.
"Ya know Ray, I can handle this now. How about you go let Davis know that I'll notify her when I'm finished up. You go make Jace sleep. I think Blackburn and Brock are waking up for their "shift." Go say hello to Naima and the kids." Trent put air quotes around shift as he spoke to Ray. The whole team had been coordinating when to sleep, when to eat, when to shower. Just about everything they did revolved around Sonny and when he would be awake versus asleep. They wanted someone with him at all times. They were sticking together through this that was for damn sure. Now that all of the paperwork for the operation was filed Ray would be allowed to say a little bit more, not much by any means, but a little more to Naima and his family.
"You sure man?" Ray seemed hesitant to leave, but he looked down at Sonny who's breathing seemed to finally be leveling out.
"Trent's saved me once already this week. I feel pretty confident he can stitch me up." Sonny's half smile that was clearly forced upon his face put Ray at ease. Only a little bit but still. Ray grabbed his hand giving it a squeeze, "Alright man, I'll go see if Naima is awake." He was already mentally calculating the time in the US.
"Yeah, enough of this pansy emotional crap." Sonny cracked as he pulled his hand away from Ray's. Yup, Sonny was feeling better. Even if it was only because Trent had up-ed his morphine and given him anti-nausea meds. Ray would take anything at this point.
"Hey," Ray turned back around at the door, "Tell Davis I'm sorry about ya know, earlier." Sonny had this sheepish look on his face, it was one Ray didn't see often.
"I'm sure she's already forgot about it brother." Ray turned and left the two men to themselves. Trent was working meticulously.
"Gotta say, it's nice stitching you up without bullets flying, insurgents coming our way, and you threatening to bleed out on the floor of a mine shaft." Trent smiled at his brother as he pulled a stitch through.
"Those better be the prettiest stitches I've ever seen." Sonny shot back. The two guys chuckled, Sonny's much more reserved than Trent's loud laugh. There a silence that fell between them. Trent could practically hear Sonny's mind thinking away and Trent himself was having a hard time focusing on the stitching. All he could think about was being back in that mine shaft. Finally, it was Sonny who broke the silence.
"Listen man," He rubbed his hand across his forehead, "I just wanted to say thanks for saving my ass. It sounds like you had to make some real hard decisions and all I know is that I wouldn't want anyone else making those calls. That was some real cowboy shit, pulling the pipe out and all. Doc earlier said it probably saved my life. Something about sepsis."
Trent paused momentarily, although Sonny could hardly feel it through all the numbing agents.
"It also could've killed ya." Trent's voice was low as he spoke. Obviously full of emotion.
"Well, ya didn't." It was all Sonny could manage. "Man, you could've bled out if I didn't find that artery. You would've bled out a hell of a lot faster than you would've died of sepsis. And not to mention you still got a severe infection, almost lost your leg, and your life."
Now Sonny was getting a little pissed. All he wanted to do was thank the man and here he was fighting it as if he didn't haul his ass, pull out that damn shrapnel, find the bleeder, and stitch him up. Not to mention he had been bleeding out the whole time.
"Don't be actin all sorry on me here. You deserve a thanks. You saved my life Trent. That's not lost on me. They saved the leg. You know me, I'm a stubborn ass. If I have anything to say about it, I'll be walking in a week." Sonny's southern drawl was more pronounced as he fought the drowsiness of the pain meds.
Trent didn't understand how he didn't see it! He had nearly killed him. He listened to Jason when he knew he shoulkdn't have. The bleeding started again. That could have killed him, who knows, maybe the infection was because of that. The fact that Sonny thought he'd be walking soon was practically impossible. It'd be weeks, maybe months.
"I'm finished up here. You should rest." Trent pulled Sonny's gown back down and disposed of the equipment.
"Woah, slow down. Talk to me. What's goin on under all that hair of yours." Trent must of looked pretty damn tormented if Sonny picked up on it. "I'm fine man." Sonny tried one more time to convince him.
"I SAT DOWN MAN! I TOOK A BREAK AND SAT DOWN! THAT'S WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER!" Trent exploded, once he started it was like he couldn't stop. "Jason told me to take a break and I knew I shouldn't have. I had just gotten the bleeding under control! Do you even realize that if Clay hadn't taken a lucky fucking guess, diving his hand in your leg and grabbing near the clamp that you would've bled out before I had even gotten my ass off the ground! You should be wanting to kill me. I could've cost you your life, your leg, hell I might've cost you your career! I sat down Sonny! This is on me. I'm so sorry man, I'm so so sorry." Trent huffed the last part out, it was as if it took all his energy to speak these words.
Sonny was silent for a full minutes before he spoke.
"You listen good because I ain't about to say this again. Your dumbass would've probably died if you hadn't sat the hell down." Sonny panted but pressed on, "You think I would've been able to live with myself if you had bled out because you were too damned stubborn to take two fucking minutes and give yourself a once over. I wouldn't have been able to bear it, and neither would the rest of the team. You know that and I know that so don't come at me with that bullshit."
Sonny paused, but he wasn't finished. "I can live with whatever happens. There is no point in going round and round thinking about if I had lost my leg or my life. It happened, I didn't. I don't need you telling me how you feel you shit the bed. I need you telling me I can do this man. I need my brother not your sorry ass cryin that you sat down to rest so you wouldn't die, and it almost killed me and traumatized the kid. I can handle a lot, but I can't handle that. Feel sorry if you want but just know that I wouldn't have wanted anyone else out in the field makin the calls for me. Not then, not now, not ever." Trent sat there speechless, his head leaned back against the wall, listening to Sonny's words. They washed over him like God's grace. He felt clean again, whole again. For the first time in a week he felt like himself.
"I'll say it one more time." Sonny took a thick swallow, "Thank you for saving my life you son of a bitch." Sonny extended his arm. It was the kind of hand shake extension that you know is mostly an invitation for a hug. Clearly, Trent needed one as he sat there with tears streaming silently down his face. Trent stood, accepted the hand and then the hug.
"I love ya man. We're gonna pull ya through this." Trent held on, "Ya damn right we are." Sonny's voice replied.
Maybe it was telepathy or maybe it was fate, but Blackburn poked his head in.
"Hey, this a good time?" He could tell there was something going on between the two guys, but he thought it looked resolved.
"All good." Sonny said as he closed his eyes for a moment. "Yeah, all good." Blackburn stepped inside, "Great, I was just coming to see if you wanted to switch. Mandy and I could sit with him." Eric came to the side of Sonny's bed, asking him how he was feeling, all of the usual questions.
"That's a good idea. Listen, Sonny you rest and try to keep those stitches in this time. I'll let your doc know what happened and we'll be sure to keep the anti-nausea meds pumpin." Trent pulled off the surgical scrub he had on for the procedure revealing his normal clothes and then swiftly went to the door. "Take it easy brother and thanks for talking." Trent ran a hand through his hair.
"I'll deny it all." Sonny's voice sounded tired and gruff as he poked back at Trent. Blackburn leaned back in his chair.
"Sir, how are you. Do I need to fill out any reports?" Sonny figured that's why Eric would be in here, especially since he mentioned Mandy was joining him. They would need his reports sooner or later. He wasn't sure how much he'd be able to report for them, but he'd have to do his best.
"Christ no, the other guys are just taking breaks, sleeping, eating, showering, family. I did all of that earlier. There is time for all of that paperwork bull later. Right now, your job is to rest up." Sonny eyed him a little bit. He knew Blackburn cared deeply about the team, he had heard that he even came on the EXFIL truck and was coordinating the whole thing, practically never left the hospital. To have him at his bedside though, that was a little surprising. The guy was nice but still was his superior.
"I'm alright sir." Sonny tried to make himself not sound hazy with drugs and fighting pain with every breath, but he wasn't sure he completed the mission.
"Stop the bullshit, Quinn. Shut your eyes and get some rest. No one is going anywhere, and neither is all the paperwork. As far as the brass knows, you're still incapable of doing any of it until I feel you're up for it. So, when I say rest, I mean you can rest. I'll be here if you need anything." Eric said it was such fierceness that Sonny knew he truly could close his eyes and get some sleep. It was a very welcoming idea.
"Sir?" Blackburn raised his eyebrow after dimming the light, "Thank you for uh, pulling those strings, getting us out. Heard you came with, uh, EXFIL." Sonny said it more of a statement but meant it as a question, not really sure what Eric's response would be. It was simple and to the point, "You're my guys. I had to do what it took to get you home."
"Thank you, sir." Sonny closed his eyes and for a second there was no movement, and then with the faintest of pressures he could feel Blackburn's hand grab his. It was only for a moment, but Sonny knew it was there.
"Of course, kid." There was one more pat of his hand before Sonny sank back into the world of morphine dreams and peace.
Jason paced the hallway that all of the cages branched off of. He could hear Ray quietly talking to Naima and the kids. Jason had already spoken to his children, changed his clothes, and reorganized his cage. He couldn't avoid talking to Clay anymore. He knew he would have to eventually. He wasn't sure exactly why he didn't want to so badly. Maybe it was fear that Clay would lash out and say everything Jason knew was accurate about the Mexico mission. He had been wrong. Or maybe he feared it'd bring up memories of his late best friend. Whatever it was, he couldn't avoid it.
Jason found Clay still in the waiting area that the team had basically taken over. It was right near Sonny's room, so it was the perfect location for them to loiter. He sunk down in the seat across from Clay and stretched his legs out. He had peaked into Sonny's room on his way by and spotted Trent doing something, that he had to admit looked painful, to Sonny. He wanted to investigate but knew he was only putting off the inevitable.
"How's it going Spenc?" Jason hoped his use of "spenc" wouldn't patronize the kid too much. Much to Jason's surprise, Clay looked up.
"I'm good. I was a bit tired earlier, but I fell asleep for a while and now I feel better." Jason couldn't quite place what it was. Maybe it was the look in his eye, or the way his breathing hitched as he said "good", or maybe just because Jason knew he was anything but good. He just couldn't put his finger on what it was that was throwing him off.
The kid wasn't fine.
But hell, he couldn't really call him out on it right now. The mission right now was getting the team home. Get Sonny to survive. Check. Get Sonny to keep his leg. Check. Get Sonny and the rest of the team flown home. Working on it. Then, and only then, could Jason really check in on everyone. He knew the physical wounds would heal with time and patience, but it was the mental ones that he was more worried about. See, those were much easier to hide and a hell of a lot harder to treat.
"You sure man?" The question slipped out of Jason's mouth before he could stop them.
"Yeah, I'm good. You don't have to keep checking on me. You want something to eat? I'm going to the cafeteria." Clay even threw a smile in there for good measure. Jason was confused as hell. As he looked at Clay, he wanted to believe him. Maybe he was good? Maybe he was getting there? All this time to sit around and think… maybe it had been good for him? Jason wasn't sure, right now he couldn't' really deal with it anyway. There had been so much tension between the two of them lately the he knew if he opened that can of worms, he'd have to face it head on and finish it for good. To be completely honest, he didn't think he could handle that right now.
So instead, Jason replied, "Yeah, let's go grab a bite."
Mandy strode up to Sonny's room, peeking inside and spotting Brock sitting in the chair outside of his room.
"He asleep?" She nudged Brock who had Cerberus sleeping at his feet. How he got his dog in the hospital, she did not know but she was not surprised.
"Yeah, he was sick as hell earlier, blew his stitches. Trent had to fix him up. Blackburn is in there with him now." Brock paused, eyeing the laptop and the files under her arm. "He should probably keep resting. Probably not a good time for paperwork and reports." He didn't want to sound accusatory, but he knew that Mandy was reporting to a lot of the higher brass and they could be quite persuasive about when the paperwork needed to be filed.
She frowned at the laptop, "No, I'm just sitting with him. I'll relieve Blackburn in a bit. I won't make him talk until he's ready." Brock nodded, "Just checking." She peeked her head in the room again, Eric had one foot on the bed haphazardly, Sonny was fast asleep as was Eric.
"Where is everyone else?" She had lost track after she went back to the barracks to reassign other teams and sleep.
"Trent is sleeping, Ray is talking to his family and hopefully sleeping. Jason and Clay are making a food run. Davis is, well, to be honest, I'm not sure." Brock paused, unsure if he should push the issue, "She's been real broken up about this." He let the words hang there for a second.
"They're good friends." Mandy's response was direct and to the point. She would not say anything to compromise either of them. Besides, there was nothing concrete between them anyway. No violations.
"Understood." Brock reached down to pet Cerb and Mandy slipped inside Sonny's room, closing the door as quietly as she could. Neither of them even moved, which was surprising as hell. As long as she had known Eric, he had been a light as hell sleeper from years of combat and middle of the night wake ups for operations. He could fall asleep and be awake enough to escape death all in one second.
Her tripping over a chair however, that roused Sonny. His eyes slowly opened at the small noise of the chair skidding a few inches. Eric still hadn't moved. Sonny looked first at Eric, smiling slightly, then to Mandy.
Keeping his voice low he spoke, "Miss Mandy, how's my girl?" For as long as Mandy had known Sonny, he always called her "his girl." It was nothing sexual, not at all. It was just his way of saying, I've got your back because you've always had mine. I'll go to bat for you 10/10 and I'll always knock it out of the park.
"I'm good Sonny. I should be asking how you are?" She took a seat next to him.
"Oh me? I'm swell. Nothin to worry about, out of here in no time." Sonny accepted the water Mandy offered, taking a few drinks.
He turned to Blackburn, "I don't think I've ever seen boss man sleep this deep." Sonny kept his voice low.
"He was really worried about you guys. I'd never seen him like that." Mandy looked at Sonny, his face practically willing her to continue, "He had to be on that EXFIL truck. He was adamant. I think he took a personal responsibility for it. He's hardly slept since you guys were brought in since it was so hectic trying to make sure everyone got treated and rested up."
Sonny stared at his sleeping face for a moment and wondered out loud, "Do you think God makes you a good soldier or a good man first? Or does one constitute the other?"
Mandy paused, "All I know is Eric is both." Sonny nodded, huffing out a short breath.
"Damn right." Another question popped into his head. "Let me ask you something, how's Bravo one holdin up?"
Mandy contemplated how to answer this for a moment before saying, "Good, he's alright." She knew it was a lie, but Sonny didn't need the stress.
"Bullshit. You know it and I know. You're always straight with me, don't start now." Sonny shot at her.
"What do you think Sonny? He told you that you could go. He turned his damn COMS on so you could say your goodbyes. He thought he'd be burying another team mate, another loved one. He held it all on his shoulders while at the same time fighting with Ray. He was falling apart. He knows he was wrong in Mexico, he feels responsible for not seeing the kid with the grenade, he feels responsible for everything."
Mandy took a breath, "Jason was a mess. I won't pretend he wasn't. He's alright now though. He's gotten it together. He's worked things out with Ray, really worked them out, and he's realized that he can't shoulder all of this. It isn't on him, just like it isn't on Clay, or Eric, or Trent, or you. Hell, it's not on the shoulders of the kid with the grenade either. It's on the shoulders of this twisted messed up world that has put us to war with each other. So, no, Jason wasn't ok, and he's probably not great now but he's getting there. He's working on it and he's getting there. He's getting back to being the unbreakable Jason Hayes."
Sonny only nodded, accepting her explanation on Jason and not pushing the subject anymore. In his sleep hazed and drug muddled mind he wasn't sure he could take another Mandy tangent.
He then eyed the stack of files on the chair next to Mandy, "You here for my report? Miss Mandy, when do you sleep?" She smiled at his remark. "Wouldn't you like to know." She shot back, then softer she said, "No, I'm not here for any report, I'm just here to get some work done and make sure you don't conk out on us." This brought a smile to Sonny, then a twinge of pain.
"That's my girl." Mandy was as solid as they come. As quickly as Sonny was relieved that the report was not right now, he realized it'd have to come some time.
"I do gotta give a report soon, though right? I'm sure they're itchin you for it." Sonny knew how this process worked. He had been through it before.
"Yeah, they will but I can hold them off. I'm a big girl. We'll talk when you're ready to talk and when pain meds don't have you soundin like an idiot." Sonny nodded and mutter a quiet thank you. "It could take a while though. To get you to not sound like an idiot." Mandy ribbed him one last time, pulling another small chuckle and wince from him.
"Very funny Mandy. Thinkin you're all cute." His eyes slid shut, sleepiness taking back over.
"Go back to sleep Sonny. I'll be here, we'll talk when you're ready."
With that, Mandy opened her laptop and got to work. She let the steady beep of Sonny's monitors and Eric's quiet snores keep her focused. Everything was alright, at least for now.
AN: Alright! There it is! Hope you enjoyed! I'm posting this on Jan 9 which is a Wednesday night! However, I haven't gotten to see the new episode yet of Seal team! I'll be able to watch tomorrow though so yay! Let me know what you think about this chapter and the episode from this week! In the next chapter or two there will probably be a short time hop FYI.