Chapter 37: Questioning
Hiei stared at more thug bodies, more lost than ever before. He and Simran spent the last few months tracking down the gang and ambushing trading sites. After the first few busts, the gang increased the number of demons at deals and were much more cautious than before, which made Hiei's search harder. They barley found any information on the group to begin with, even off of the dead bodies. Whoever was behind this was very good at covering their tracks.
"Are we burning these too?" Simran asked.
"Yes," he replied.
After piling the bodies and lighting the fire Simran asked, "When is it that you're going to break for the tournament?"
"Now," he replied shortly.
"Do you think that's best? I mean, what about our work here?" She asked.
"We'll talk about it when we get back." Hiei turned and walked away from the fire. "I want to get out of here."
Normally, he did not go to the fortress until his rounds with Mukuro were finished but considering the fortress was closer than the centipede and he wasn't planning on going back anyway, it was easier to just head home. Simran followed him more easily than their first mission and within a few hours, the mixed scents and busy sounds of the fortress greeted him. Hiei guided Simran to the smaller dining room, where he knew some food would be sitting out for anyone with the munchies.
Simran sat and pulled some fruit onto a small plate as he poured them some water. They ate for a few moments before she asked, "So what is the next step?"
"What do you think?" He countered. Though loathsome, Mukuro made it clear she wanted him to "educate" Simran.
Simran frowned in thought before responding, "They're getting harder to track down and we still aren't getting any information about patterns or their internal hierarchy. We haven't found anyone of substance to provide us with the answers that we need. Right now, we are reactive instead of proactive. I think we need to try and get ahead of them but I'm not sure how. Our best bet will be to try and get someone on the inside but that may take years to get results. Immediately, I think we should try pulling back and see if they slip up while quietly gathering information on the side."
Hiei took a moment to absorb and run through what she said. It wasn't a bad idea. He could talk to Kurama, see what he thought. Hiei was thinking about how to respond when the door suddenly burst open, and Sakura ran towards him.
"Ji-chan! You're home!" She threw her arms around him tightly. He returned the hug from his endearing niece and kissed her forehead. She pulled back and grinned widely at him. "I have so much to tell you! Kurama-Ji-chan almost got his hand bit off and we all went to Tomeda for their festival and then Honjo showed these guards some really cool moves that I wanna do and-"
"Later, Sakura," Hiei said, cutting her off. "I have to wrap up some business now but I will come by later and you can tell me everything."
The girl eyed him suspiciously and held out her hand with her little finger raised. She wagged her finger as she asked, "Pinky promise?"
Hiei couldn't help but smile a little as he hooked his pinky with hers. "I promise."
"Yes! Okay, I gotta go! Don't forget!" With a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, the young demoness darted out of the room.
"She is really adorable," Simran commented, smiling. Hiei agreed. Simran stood to close the door when Sakura's tutor ran by. She stopped in the doorway and bowed to Hiei quickly.
"Heika, have you seen Sakura? She disappeared and she is in the middle of her lessons!"
"She went to the kitchens," He responded.
"Thank you!" The demoness dashed off. Simran turned to him suspiciously.
"Is she really going to the kitchens?"
"Probably not," he replied and took a bite out of an apple.
Simran shook her head at him, smiling humorously. She started to close the door again when he heard Shana's laughter down the hallway.
"Wait," he instructed Simran. He walked out to see Shana and Ryuji walking together in the opposite direction. Shana was laughing while Ryuji waved his arms back and forth, in the middle of a story as they walked.
"Shana!" he called. The pair stopped and turned towards Hiei, who beckoned them over. Shana smiled at Hiei as she and Ryuji walked up to him, and Simran came out into the hallway.
"Welcome home, Papa," she greeted warmly. She glanced over at Simran. "Hello, how are you?"
"Fine, it's good to see you again, Shana," Simran replied. Shana smiled tersely in response.
"Sup, Gramps?" Ryuji asked. Hiei glared at him.
"I need to speak with Shana. Go find Sakura in the gardens and bring her back before her teacher rips her hair out and Yukina finds out she's skipping."
"Roger. Later." Ryuji walked off and Hiei walked back into the room. Simran closed the door behind Shana and sat back down.
Shana's violet eyes shifted from Simran to Hiei before crossing her legs and leaning back into her chair. "How's the hunt going?" She asked.
"Not well," Hiei responded. "When I go off to train, Simran is going to pull back and let them think we've stopped. I need you to snoop around some locations and see what you can find. She'll tell you where to look."
"Got it. What about Mukuro's spies? Should I enlist one or two of them?" She asked.
"Sure, if you think-"
"No," Hiei said firmly, cutting Simran off. "Just you. I don't want you out there for a long time either and no confrontations. Information only."
"I think one more spy would be valuable," Simran suggested. She did a poor job of masking her irritation as she spoke. "It's always good to have an extra person, just in case. Besides they could cover more ground."
"I said, only Shana," Hiei snapped.
"She won't even be reporting back to you," Simran argued. "You're going to be gone training while I have to work on this case! Maybe she shouldn't go and I'll talk to Mukuro-sama about using her resources instead."
"Shana is the only one going and that's final. She will find me and report to me before going to you. If you have a problem with this then you're on your own," he growled. He was not happy with her resistance.
Simran glared at him but she knew there was nothing she could do. His word was final. "Fine," She snapped. "Where's Yukina? I want to say hello."
"I think she's in the library with Kurama-kun," Shana answered. Wordlessly, Simran left the room, slamming the door behind her.
There was a heavy pause until Shana cleared her throat. "Well, I think you're in the doghouse now," she joked. He glared at her.
"You should be kinder to her. She likes you," Hiei growled.
Shana frowned at him. "You should be kinder too. She's head over heels for you and you can be unnecessarily harsh towards her."
"Like you're unnecessarily rude towards her?" Hiei snapped.
Shana glared at him. "Simran is just a distraction for you. She's the first decent woman to come along that slightly piques your interest and even though you're not dating or whatever. I can see that you're leaning towards her and-" Shana stopped and sighed. "I don't dislike Simran. It's just that she told me she would be back," Shana said quietly. Oh no, Shana wasn't still holding onto that notion, was she? He knew Shana idolized her but still clinging to that hope was futile.
"She isn't coming back, Shana. She went home. She's ruling and probably remarried," He said quietly. The words stung to say them aloud, even after all the time that passed. "She isn't coming back."
"But she promised me," she responded. Her eyes watered a little and she rubbed them. "She told me she loved you and that's why she would come back."
The memory started to drift back to him put he pushed it away, focusing on his demoness. "When, Shana? You were a child. She would have said anything to keep you calm."
Shana's head snapped towards him, her violet eyes blazing. "You don't know anything! You weren't there to hear her wails and sobs after you left the temple. So yes, I still believe her when she told me that she loved you and that she'll come back and I also believe that Simran isn't worth your time! She's nothing compared to Mîra-hime and you know it!"
Hiei clenched the armrest, cracking the wood. "I wasted years mourning her," he snarled. "Look around. There's no sign or indication she's returning anytime soon."
"But that's your problem! You mourned her, as though she died! You gave up!" Shana cried, exacerbated. "She is alive and I know she's going to come back one day. You know what? Fine, hook up with Simran but I'll tell you what, she's nothing to you! She will only be someone to try and fill the gap Mîra-hime left behind, but it won't work and you know it."
Hiei stared at his demoness, resisting the urge to backhand her. He couldn't believe this hypothetical relationship was becoming real. He did not give any indication to Simran about reciprocating her advancements and it wasn't right for Shana to imagine them just to cause trouble. If he chose to be with Simran he was sure he would be content. He didn't know if he would be happy as he was before but it would be better than nothing.
After a heavy pause, he spoke. "I need to you to look into something quietly for me." She looked up at him, and her eyes refocused. "I found one thing on the traffickers: kanji tattoos for Rising Sun."
Shana frowned, confused. "Why would he be involved in something like this? I thought he kept his affairs in the human world."
"So did I," Hiei responded quietly. "I need you to find out if it's really him."
"Okay, I will," she promised solemnly.
"Don't tell anyone, especially Yukina and Ryuji," he instructed.
"Why not Ryuji? He may be able to help."
"He's like his father when it comes to friends and family. He'll charge right in to find the truth, rather than wait for validation. Normally it wouldn't matter but in this case… We better be wrong."
"I'll speak to Simran for the locations in the Makai set out right away. Will you be at your usual training grounds?" She asked.
"Yes."
"Okay, if I find anything I'll let you know." Shana paused and glanced away for a moment. Hiei stood and clasped her shoulder firmly as a goodbye but she stood and faced him. "Papa I- I'm sorry. You should choose whatever makes you happy."
Hiei reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Stay safe," he said.
His demoness smiled at him. "I will." Then she disappeared into the shadows.
Hiei left and decided to meet up with Honjo and spent the rest of the afternoon with his captains and second. Working with Honjo was always easy and Hiei was relieved he could leave the fortress to him in his absence. The wolf didn't poke and prod him with personal questions, Hiei was sure he received his dose of gossip from Maria anyway, and he was trusted and respected enough to run the fortress in Hiei's absence. His seriousness and working attitude was just what Hiei needed to pass the time through dinner. By the time he left the barracks, he had eaten a small meal and all the kinks in the new shifts were smoothed out. He wouldn't leave at least until the end of the week which would give him time to discuss the changes to Yukina, Maria, and Claudia.
He was ready to turn in but he promised Sakura a visit first, so he headed towards her room. He knocked on her door and found her with Yukina. She greeted him warmly and left to go to bed. Sakura moved over on her bed to make room for Hiei and he kicked off his boots and sat down next to her.
He listened patiently as she talked about what he missed while at Mukuro's host, and he had her repeat the story of how Kurama accidentally planted the wrong seed and almost lost his hand as a result. He loved having something to rub in the fox's face. She continued on to talk about how Shana and Ryuji got into a big fight over him going into town all the time, but Sakura didn't see why it was such a big deal. She talked about the festival in great detail and how she wanted to learn the martial arts technique from Honjo, but Yukina would not let her. Hiei found that training Sakura to fight was always a battle with Yukina, who didn't want her only daughter to learn the techniques if it wasn't necessary. He had yet to convincer her but Sakura's interest would help his case.
The young Koorime babbled on about other things, but Hiei just enjoyed sitting with his young niece. Her arms wrapped around his waist and she curled up against him, her head nuzzled in his chest. Looking back, he wished he had given Shana that same attention when she was Sakura's age but he made up for it as she finished growing. Sitting with Sakura gave him a rare kind of peace and for a little while, he didn't have to deal with his struggles. He could just sit on this bed and everything was happy and whole.
"Ji-chan?"
With his eyes closed, he grunted in response.
"Are you gonna marry Simran-san? I like her."
Was he what? Well, he was giving her his full attention now. "We aren't together," he responded firmly.
"Oh," she said. She sounded a little deflated to Hiei so he continued,
"Why do you care so much?"
"Kaasan told Maria-chan that this is the only girl she's met since your last mate, and that if you mated with Siman-san she would be okay with it."
Why the hell was Yukina talking about that with Maria? What the hell was going on around here? "Since when do you care about such trivial gossip?" he asked.
Sakura drew back and sat up with her hand on her hips. "It's not gossip! She could be my new aunt! I have to make sure she's perfect!"
"She's not going to be your aunt," Hiei snapped.
Sakura eyed him. "Are you sure? Because I think she's nice and pretty and she works for Mukuro-sama so that's a good thing. She's not a queen like your last mate but that's okay."
"Forget about mates," Hiei growled, "and Queens are vain," he snapped, "stubborn, arrogant, prideful," He paused as his thoughts continued… Challenging, determined, strong, charismatic, intelligent, stunning, surprising…
"Ji-chan?" Sakura asked. "Helloooo? Makai to Ji-chan!"
Hiei jerked back to reality as her hand waved in front of his face. He shoved her hand aside and turned towards her.
"Why did you stop talking?" She asked.
Hiei mentally shook himself back together. "You need to get to bed."
Sakura sighed dramatically. "Fine," she resigned.
He got off the bed, helped her under the covers, and sat on the edge of the bed next to her bedside. She was so young and yet she was worrying about his personal relationships when she didn't need to. "Sakura, I'm leaving soon to train for the tournament."
"But you just got home!" she whined. She sat up and asked, "Why do you need to train for the tournament? You're already really strong!"
"There is always someone out there who is stronger, and I need to be able to protect you, your mother, Shana, and everyone else here. That is most important to me over anything or anyone."
Sakura bit her lip, thinking. "I don't want you to protect me. I want to protect myself. Then, you don't have to worry about Kaasan and you can protect your mate instead."
For a moment, the brazen, head-strong determination of her father shone through her piercing red eyes. He had to wonder if she was a full Koorime at all, but either way he was pleased to see that some of Kuwabara lived on through her.
"I would never take a woman for a mate who couldn't protect herself," He responded. "As for teaching you to protect yourself, I'll see what I can do."
His niece smiled and gave him a hug. "Maybe you need someone to protect you too, Ji-chan." He withdrew from the hug and she laid back down.
He kissed her brow. "Goodnight, Sakura."
"Night, Ji-chan. Love you."
Hiei smiled as he turned off the light and closed the door behind him. He glanced over to see Yukina leaning against the stone hallway, no doubt listening. Hiei walked her to her room in silence and he stopped just outside the door.
"She shouldn't be asking you those things. I'll talk to her about it tomorrow," Yukina apologized.
"That doesn't matter. You need to stop fabricating mate nonsense and stop talking about queens," he said.
"I didn't know she was listening to that conversation."
"I don't know why you're having that conversation to begin with," he snapped.
"Hiei, those of us who have been around you for a long time can tell that you're on the fence about Simran. Maria-chan and I talking about it isn't unreasonable."
"Oh? And what else does everyone have to say?" He crossed his arms and stared at her coolly. Yukina's red eyes averted his gaze, and he knew she didn't want to have this conversation but he didn't care.
Yukina returned her gaze to him and said, "We all just want to see you happy, whether you're by yourself surrounded by everyone here or by finding it with a mate."
"Do I look that pathetic?" He countered irritably.
"No," Yukina responded gently. "Just busy. You have to be working on something and can never be in one place for a long time, especially here. For the longest time Sakura thought you didn't like it here and I told her that wasn't true and I don't think it is, but this place has too many memories." She gave him a weak smile. "I can tell because it's everything I went through after Kazuma died. She can tell because you never do anything for yourself."
Yukina reached out and touched his arm gently. "Hiei, you don't need anyone to be fulfilled. Only you can do that for yourself. Everyone else around you enhances that feeling and adds more to it, a spouse infinitely more. But at the end of the day, if you aren't happy with yourself, then your mate won't be either. It's hard loosing a mate but you have be okay with the decisions you made before you can really heal."
Hiei looked away from his sister and Yukina's hand slipped off his arm. He barely heard her say goodnight and he stared at his closed door. He slowly started the walk towards his bedroom.
Yukina's words stuck a chord in him. Once, long ago, he had what Yukina was talking about. Enki was the first king and he was working the border patrol on Mukuro's centipede. The others were happy in the human world and he came to visit from time to time. Then, the world was simple. He even attended Yusuke and Keiko's wedding, though failed at being discreet about it. Back then, he had no reservations, no qualms with his past anymore. Even better, he won the tournament three times in a row. He still held the record for most consecutive wins and he was running the fortress. Life was good and whole.
Then the war happened and everything changed. She brought out a new level of discussions and inner fights over things he never ran into before. Eventually, he sorted through those emotions and reservations and went all in on the relationship. When he did, something opened within him that he didn't know even existed. The pure emotion he felt towards her was unparalleled by anything else he had ever experienced, and when she was gone the pure feeling didn't go away. Instead, it just hurt.
He entered his room and walked over to the empty vanity and opened the last drawer. He hesitated before reaching in and pulling out a picture frame. He didn't remember when this was taken, but it was at Genkai's beach. The familiar ache rose within him as he stared at her picture. He made a point to avoid seeing her figure and all he remembered over the years were her narrow, stern lavender eyes. Seeing her face again now, he realized he forgot about her sweeping white hair, the curiousness of the longest, heavily pierced ears he had seen to date, and how the warmth and joy of her smile could melt him inside. An odd mixture of affectionate longing and remorse filled him.
He put the picture away and stripped down. Yukina believed in self-fulfillment as a means for happiness. He knew she still missed Kuwabara and was sad from time to time but when he truly thought about it, she was happy. He was happy before he mated, why couldn't he be happy after? Hiei's head was beginning to hurt and he decided it was an argument for another day. He showered and was about to get into bed when there was a knock on the door.
Hiei opened the door to see Simran. She was wearing a blue nightgown and her hair was pulled back, accentuating the roundness of her face.
"Listen, I just wanted to say that I know that there's something eating away at you. I don't know what it is but it's something to do with this case and I can only assume it's personal because you're so adamant about only Shana being involved and secretive about certain things. Between that and worrying about the fortress, training, and working for Mukuro you're really spread thin." She paused and before she continued, "I want you to know that I'm here for you. I will continue to work hard on this case and keep you up to date as much as possible and I'll work with Shana to make sure we get to the bottom of this. I promise."
Hiei wasn't sure what to say, but he appreciated her thoughtfulness and tact. "I won't be hard to find. Keep me updated frequently."
Simran's lip curled upward. "You can just say thanks." Then, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. Well now he definitely didn't know what to do.
Simran pulled back and smiled, "Goodnight." Hiei could only watch her walk away. He knew he should go after her and maybe even give her a real kiss, which could lead to other desirable things, but the picture at Genkai's beach was still in his mind. He closed the door to his room and climbed into bed.
He always had trouble sleeping, some periods of his life more so than others and this happened to be one of them. Usually it was discontent, anxiety, or nightmares reminding him of the past that kept him awake. Tonight it was something entirely different, and he wasn't sure what. How could he feel so conflicted when there was a kind, compassionate woman who genuinely cared waiting for him? Simran wasn't on a competitive level with him which was frustrating at times, but she was a dedicated learner, intelligent, and perceptive.
Unable to sleep, Hiei moved to the windowsill and stared up at the brilliant night sky. Personal fulfillment… the more he thought about it in his current state he just became more and more confused. What was he supposed to find fulfilling? Happiness, that was the key… when was the last time he recognized that he was happy? Had he truly been so miserable that he couldn't remember any time he was recently happy, where he enjoyed something or being with someone? He thought about his friends. If Yusuke was moving on from Keiko and Kurama wasn't as broody and depressed as Hiei thought, where did that leave him?
"Confused and in desperate need for a good nights sleep," whispered Koku in his head.
Hiei smirked but it soon faded.
"Master, one foot in front of the other."
Hiei took one last look at the glittering stars before returning to bed.
"Which way?"