The Titans were only half way home when the alarm went off again.
"Aw, man," Cyborg moaned. "Three in one night? On Christmas Eve?"
Robin leant forward and pressed a few buttons on the dashboard to find where the alert had come from. "The opera house," he house. "Something's set off the alarms."
"Any idea who?" Beast Boy asked.
Robin gave him a grim frown and shook his head. "No intel on who – or what. We'd better hurry."
Slamming his foot down, Cyborg sped them down a few narrow streets, ignoring Starfire's yelp when a particularly violent swerve made her knock her head against the window.
They reached the opera house in three minutes flat. They didn't bother parking; Cyborg pulled the car onto the curb outside then hurtled after Robin into the building. A group of security guards met them at the door, dressed in dark blue with shades and earpieces. There was no greeting, just a nods of acknowledgement before the guards turned and led them to the disturbance.
The opera house was huge: built out of steel and planes of thick, marbled glass. Through the twisting, winding corridors they ran, past dressing rooms and café areas and studios. Every now and again they'd come across a paralyzed guard, slumped on the ground, and patches of sticky residue on the walls and ceiling.
"Looks like Fang," said Cyborg. They skidded to a halt by a dressing room, outside of which were several unconscious and paralyzed men. The Titans glanced at each other then entered. The room had been ransacked, with tables tipped over and shards of smashed mirror all over the floor. The chaos was accompanied by a dramatic wailing from above.
"Madame Beauparlant!" one of the guards cried. "Madame St. Sauveur!"
Suspended from the ceiling by large amounts of sticky webbing were two middle-aged women. Both were broad shouldered and plump. However one had tanned skin and golden hair, whilst the other was a pale brunette. Starfire and Raven immediately flew up to peel them from the webs then brought them gently to the ground.
"Zere was a monster!" shrieked the blonde. "A 'orrible monster! 'e 'ad a spider for a 'ead!" She clutched the front of a cornblue silk dress, knuckles turning into lumps of bone in a pool of soft skin and flesh.
"It stolen ours jewels!" said the brunette, straightening out her crumpled red skirt. "And sticked us to ze ceiling."
"It stole my sapphire necklace!" cried the first. Her fingers scratched at her wobbling bare throat. "It was a gift from my 'usband!"
Robin touched his hand to a splattering of web on the wall, but quickly drew away. "Still sticky."
"'e leaved four minutes before," the woman in red told them. "Per'aps you are catching 'im?"
Before Robin could reply, there was a screech from outside the room. The Titans leapt into action and burst through the door just in time to see the monstrous form of Fang scuttle around a corner. On the floor by his feet was another woman, slimmer than the first two, in an opulent purple gown.
"Aidez-moi!" she cried. "Mes diamants! Mes rubis! Mes bébés mousseux!"
The Titans ran past her, preparing attacks as they tore after Fang. The woman in purple frowned as she watched them run, still sprawled on the ground. "Donc, tu ne vas pas à m'aider à me relever?"
It didn't take long to reach Fang. Immediately, Starfire blasted him into the pale cream wall with her eye-beams. Before he could pick himself up, Robin slammed his staff into his head with a sickening crunch.
Fang grunted, throwing himself sideways out of their line of fire. Then he quickly shot a few webs in their direction. Robin managed to leap out of the way, but Starfire and Beast Boy weren't quick enough and found themselves stuck to the opposite wall.
Fang stood and began to run. He didn't get far; Raven wrenched a closet door from its hinges and used it to block his path. Fang turned sharply and climbed up the wall to the ceiling, but the door followed him and smashed him into the plaster.
Fang fell to the floor in a crumpled heap, groaning. Cyborg raised his arm, sonic cannon at the ready, but he hesitated.
A mistake. Fang suddenly jolted up, shooting sticky blasts wildly around the room. Robin and Raven successfully avoided them, but one shot caught Cyborg's leg and propelled him backwards into a heavy black door which buckled under the force. He aimed his sonic cannon at Fang, but the man-spider saw it coming and spat out another web. It covered the cannon moments before it fired.
Cyborg's arm exploded with blue light, blasting the ceiling and sending lumps of plaster crashing down. Fang turned and fled.
Starfire finally managed to free herself from the sticky web and set to work yanking Beast Boy down too whilst Robin helped a woozy Cyborg to his feet. "C'mon, before he gets away," he commanded.
"It's these small corridors," Cyborg complained, picking a bit of rubble from his joints. "Barely any room to dodge his webs."
"We need to get him somewhere more open," said Raven, frowning.
Beast Boy smirked and pointed at a blue sign on the wall with an arrow pointing in the direction Fang had scurried in. "Uh, dudes, I think we're in luck."
With only a faint scuttling sound and Beast Boy's bloodhound nose to follow, the Titans made their way as quickly and quietly as they could through the theatre. Eventually they burst into a small room with black walls, then through a set of double doors to a very thin walk-way with several wires snaking across the ground. Thick, black curtains hung at one end, rustling faintly.
Without pausing, Robin burst through the curtains and onto the rubbery floor of the stage. Fang scuttled to the front and into the thankfully empty auditorium. He had a bit of trouble getting across the red and purple plush seats in his attempt to reach the back doors.
"Star, Raven, fly ahead and bar the doors. We'll hold him back," called Robin. The two girls shot forward to the exit doors, Starfire melting them shut and Raven ripping up bits of furniture to block them. Cyborg had managed to get his cannon working again and was blasting shot after shot at Fang. Accuracy was proving difficult in the low light of the auditorium, lit only by hazy lamps on the walls, and the glow of Starfire and Cyborg's attacks. Fang was tearing chairs from the rows and using them to defend himself.
"Beast Boy!" Robin yelled as another exploding disk failed to hit its mark. "We need light!"
"On it!" Beast Boy called back, morphing into a bat. He fluttered around the dark room, searching for something to help illuminate the area. Soon he spotted a window leading to a space at the back of the auditorium where the control panel for the stage lights was located. Taking a deep breath, he shot toward the glass pane, shifting into a bull at the last minute and breaking through. Without missing a beat he turned back into a human and sat down at the panel, cracking his knuckles. "Right…let's see… Uhhh…"
Rows and rows of unlabelled buttons stared back at him, like shining silver eyes. The first few seemed to do nothing at all. One opened up a large trapdoor in the centre of the stage with an ear-grating creeeaaak. The next lowered a large disco ball.
"Hurry up, BB!" Cyborg shouted loudly. "Before he- AH!"
"I'm trying! Uh… Ooh! I know!" Beast Boy slammed both hands down at one side of the panel and swept them across, pushing every single button. Immediately, the stage and auditorium burst into life and all the lights simultaneously flickered on. The opulent chandelier, dripping with crystals, sent rainbows sparkling across the walls. Red, green and blue lights flooded the stage, hitting the disco ball and flicking white splashes across the floor.
"That bright enough for you?" Beast Boy yelled through the hole in the window.
Fang winced at the sudden brightness and slipped over, falling between two chairs. He managed to crawl out to the main aisle, where Robin, Raven and Starfire crowded around him, trapping him. Beast Boy watched from his perch then glanced around for something to help deliver the final blow.
A wide, excited grin crept across his face. "I've always wanted to do this," he sighed before leaping into the air and taking flight as an eagle. He landed on the top of the chandelier, morphing into a monkey, and began undoing the screws attaching it to the ceiling. The first did nothing, but the second had the chandelier swaying. The third made it buckle to one side. Then…
"LOOK OUT BELOW!"
Seconds later the chandelier came crashing down. The Titans leapt out of the way, but Fang wasn't so agile.
"Nice, thinking, BB," Cyborg said, patting Beast Boy's shoulder as he limped past. His leg joints were stiff with webbing. "Little violent though."
Robin didn't look so impressed. "He's breathing, at least."
"Ze chandelier! Mon dieu…Ah, ze man spider! It is 'ideous! Is it dead?" The three ladies ran out from behind the wing curtains, practically glowing under the stage lights. They came to a halt by Fang's twitching body, their faces screwed up in disgust.
"It is no dead," the woman in red snapped. "It is, as is said, incon-see-us."
"Mes bijoux. Où sont mes bijoux? Je veux que mes bijoux!" the purple woman moaned. Raven used her magic to extract a small pouch from the shattered chandelier and unzipped it, revealing a treasure trove of gold and gemstones. Immediately, the three women descended on the bag like vultures, fighting over each jewel. Soon, they were dripping with glittering riches.
"Zank you, zank you!" the blue woman said, grabbing Robin and kissing his cheeks. "'ow can we ever repay you?"
"Ah, us are sorry," the red woman said. "Zere 'ave not had ze introduc-tee-ons. I am Lisette St. Sauveur."
"My name is Euphrasie Beauparlant," the blue woman said then gestured the lady in purple. "And zis is Veronique Dufort."
"She does no speak ze English," Lisette added. Veronique frowned at the team of superheroes, sharp green eyes taking in the strange appearance and interesting attire.
"Qui sont ces gens destinés à être? Le cirque? Cirque de monstres, plus comme!"
Cyborg blinked at her then glanced at his team. "Uhh, anyone speak French?"
"I perhaps could learn i-" Starfire began but Robin hastily cut her off.
"No need, Star."
"Do not be ze worrying," Lisette said. "I can talking for you to her."
Robin nodded. "We're the Teen Titans. We're superheroes."
Lisette repeated this in French to Veronique. Veronique's frown deepened as she stepped forward, eyes trained on Robin. "Qui êtes-vous? La lumière de trafic d'êtres humains?" she eventually asked.
Robin didn't look impressed. He wasn't sure what she'd said, but judging by her tone it wasn't a compliment. "Je suis Robin, um, le leader. C'est Cyborg, Starfire, Raven et Beast Boy," he said, pointing to each member of his team in turn, hoping that directly addressing her in his attempt at French would improve her attitude towards them.
Veronique said nothing, but instead proceeded to inspect each Titan one by one.
"I apologize. Veronique does not like anyzing zat is not French," Euphrasie explained. "She is very patriotic."
"I see." He glanced over at the purple-clad woman, who was hovering over Beast Boy.
"Ah! Celui-ci est vert!" she exclaimed. "Quel genre de plaisanterie est-ce? Et sa dent? At-il jamais été chez le dentiste? Bien que peut-être il est un chirurgien plastique dont il a besoin. Regardez ces oreilles!"
"Uh, merci?" Beast Boy tried, having not understood a word of it.
"We having to find a way to zank you!" said Lisette. "Ah, I know! Tickets! To our concert!"
"Concert?" Beast Boy perked up and scurried over.
("Il est un vampire de leur équipe," said Veronique, frowning at Raven. "Ou peut-être un moine? Vous êtes sûr que ce sont des super-héros et pas un nouveau culte religieux?")
"Oui, a concert!" Lisette said with a wide smile.
"We sing," explained Euphrasie. "In fact, we were in ze middle of a concert when zat 'orrible monster attacked us in our dressing room. Veronique was on stage at ze time, for 'er solo."
(Veronique had by now left Raven to stare in horror at Cyborg. "Celui-ci ne porte pas de vêtements! Et il fait partie machine! Si ce n'est une sorte de nouvelle mode de la mode alors je ne suis pas impressionné. Il ressemble à un costume de Lady Gaga!")
"We 'ave anozer one in zree days!" said Lisette. "You are welcome to watch us!"
"We are world famous opera singers!" Euphrasie threw her arms out, a large sapphire pendant bouncing on her chest. "Perhaps you 'ave 'eard of us? Les trois poules Françaises!"
"Uhh…" Robin, Beast Boy and Raven exchanged looks before shaking their heads. "Sorry, no," Robin apologised.
(Behind him, Veronique was looking Starfire up and down with her steely eyes. "Celui-ci est très jolie. Mais si impudique! Mettez des vêtements, femme! Une jeune fille de votre âge ne devrait révéler la peau tellement!" Veronique's unimpressed frown melted into an awe-filled gaze as she grabbed one of Starfire's hands. "Je fais comme si ses gants; ces fines émeraudes!")
"Oh, well, you will be wishing you 'ad when you 'ear us at ze concert," said Euphrasie. "I will go get someone to alert ze ticket offic-"
She was cut off by Robin's communicator, which had begun to beep loudly and flash red.
"Not another alarm!" Beast Boy moaned.
"I've only just got all this gunk out of my joints!" Cyborg gestured his leg, flicking a white strand of webbing from his finger.
Raven's expression hardened. "Where now?" she asked tiredly.
Robin flipped open the communicator. "The electronics store," he said, snapping it shut and returning it to his belt. "Sorry, we have to go. The police should arrive soon to arrest Fang."
"Oh, well, zank you. I will 'ave the tickets sent to you! Farewell Titans!"
The Titans left the opera house, after assuring guards that the paralysis would wear off eventually, and trooped back into the car. As they pulled away from the building, a couple of police cars were arriving.
The night was far from over.
Title literally means 'Something Festive'. I couldn't think of anything relevant - apologies.
French translations:
Aidez-moi! Mes diamants! Mes rubis! Mes bébés mousseux!
- Help me! My diamonds! My rubies! My sparkling babies!
Donc, tu ne vas pas à m'aider à me relever?
- So, aren't you going to help me up?
Mes bijoux. Où sont mes bijoux? Je veux que mes bijoux!
- My jewels. Where are my jewels? I want my jewels!
Qui sont ces gens destinés à être? Le cirque? Cirque de monstres, plus comme!
- Who are these people meant to be? The circus? Circus of freaks, more like!
Qui êtes-vous? La lumière de trafic d'êtres humains?
- Who are you? The human traffic light?
Ah! Celui-ci est vert! Quel genre de plaisanterie est-ce? Et sa dent? At-il jamais été chez le dentiste? Bien que peut-être il est un chirurgien plastique dont il a besoin. Regardez ces oreilles?
- Ah! This one is green! What sort of joke is this? And his tooth? Has he never been to the dentist? Though perhaps it is a plastic surgeon he needs. Look at those ears!
Il est un vampire de leur équipe. Ou peut-être un moine? Vous êtes sûr que ce sont des super-héros et pas un nouveau culte religieux?
- There is a vampire on their team. Or perhaps a monk? - You are sure these are superheroes and not a new religious cult?
Celui-ci ne porte pas de vêtements! Et il fait partie machine! Si ce n'est une sorte de nouvelle mode de la mode alors je ne suis pas impressionné. Il ressemble à un costume de Lady Gaga!
- This one isn't wearing clothes! And he is part machine! If this is some sort of new fashion fad then I am not impressed. He looks like a Lady Gaga outfit!
Celui-ci est très jolie. Mais si impudique! Mettez des vêtements, femme! Une jeune fille de votre âge ne devrait révéler la peau tellement! Je fais comme si ses gants; ces fines émeraudes!
- This one is very pretty. But so immodest! Put on some clothes, woman! A girl your age should not reveal so much skin! I do like your gloves though; such fine emeralds!
(Apologies if I got some of the French wrong – other languages are not my forté…)
Flare, the Frivolous~